Flight to Coorah Creek (11 page)

‘Hello, Jack.'

‘Hello.'

‘I didn't expect to see you back here.'

‘After I took Bluey home I had to come back for my car.'

Neither of them mentioned the hour that had passed since then.

‘So, how was your first night?' Jack asked. ‘I hope you won't let Bluey get to you.'

‘I won't,' Ellen said softly. Then she took a deep breath. ‘I can't afford to. I've got two kids to support. And I had better get back to them.'

‘Can I give you a ride?' Jack asked.

‘I'm not afraid to walk,' Ellen said, squaring her shoulders.

Jack just smiled. That gentle, warm smile that seemed to ease all the heartache she'd been carrying for so long.

‘I know you're not. I was hoping you might just want to ride with me.'

Ellen thought for a moment. ‘I think I'd like that,' she said.

Babies were so fragile. So innocent. Adam looked down at the little girl in his arms. Just two days old. She was tiny. She was beautiful. She was perfect in every way.

‘Hello, little one,' he whispered.

The baby opened her soft blue eyes and seemed to look at him, even though she was probably far too young to see him clearly. A wave of sadness washed over him and he planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. If only she didn't have to grow up. If only she didn't have to learn what the world was really like. What people were really like.

‘It's a big and sometimes scary world out there,' he told her in the same gentle voice. ‘But it can be a beautiful place. There are flowers. And music. There are glorious sunsets and a sky full of stars at night.'

The baby's eyes slowly closed. Adam carried her over to her crib and laid her gently on the well washed and faded yellow blanket that had already served several other babies. He stood up, and rubbed his left shoulder, feeling the rough texture of the scarred skin through the soft cotton of his shirt. The scars didn't hurt any more. At least, the scars on his body didn't hurt. But he still felt the pain when he held an innocent like this little girl. Or looked into the beautiful blue eyes of a woman he could never have.

‘You just grow up strong,' he told the sleeping child. ‘Then, when the world lets you down … and when people try to hurt you … you'll survive. You'll be able to take care of yourself. Be careful who you trust and never let them know when they hurt you. Never let the bad guys win.'

‘That's not the sort of advice I would expect you to give a baby.'

Adam looked up. Jess was standing in the doorway, dressed in her uniform of blue jeans and white T-shirt. As usual she wore no make-up. Her hair was slightly tousled and unkempt, and it framed a face of rare natural beauty. She had a half-smile on her lips, but despite that she looked infinitely sad. Sad … but still beautiful.

‘What advice would you give her?' Adam asked.

Jess crossed the room to stand beside him. She reached out as if to stroke the baby's fine dark hair, but instead she gently adjusted the blanket.

‘I don't think I'd give her any advice – except to say be the very best version of herself that she can be, and never become one of the bad guys.'

‘That also seems strange advice to give a baby.'

Jess looked away from the baby and her eyes met his. He saw something behind them that was a reflection of what she could probably see in his eyes. They were so alike. Two damaged souls. Every hour they spent together brought a unique mix of pleasure and sadness. Adam could feel the connection between them growing. Or trying to. But without sustenance, even the strongest shoot will wither and die. Did he want that to happen? Or did he want to build something with Jess? Was it even possible that he could take back a future the flames had stolen all those years ago? The silence was broken by the sound of a door opening as the baby's mother returned.

‘Hello, Jess,' Nikki said, as she closed the bathroom door behind her. ‘I'm so glad you came by. I wanted to say thank you.'

‘She's so beautiful,' Jess said, as she helped Nikki ease herself gently back onto the bed.

Nikki didn't notice the shadow that lingered behind the smile. Adam did.

‘Would you like to hold her?' Nikki asked.

Jess started to shake her head … but hesitated. ‘I'd love to,' she confessed.

She lifted the baby from the crib with great care and held her in her arms. The little girl stirred and wrapped her tiny fingers around Jessica's finger. Adam had seen many women hold babies – their own and other people's. Much as he loved this part of his job, his own strained relationship with his mother made it hard for him to feel moved by a mother's love. But looking at Jess with a baby in her arms made his heart ache. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was as simple as a desire for something that he would never have.

‘Are you feeling all right?' His words were directed at Nikki, but his thoughts were with Jess.

‘That shower felt great,' Nikki replied. ‘Thanks for watching the baby.'

‘You're welcome.'

‘Does she have a name yet?' Jess asked, her voice so soft Adam could hardly hear her.

‘I want to name her after my mum – Jan. Steve wants to name her after his – Mary. What do you think?'

‘I think they are both nice names,' Jess said, her eyes still fixed on the baby in her arms. The baby began to wake. She squirmed a little and gave a faint cry.

‘She's probably hungry again,' said Nikki, holding out her arms to take her daughter from Jess.

‘You look after her, and don't worry about rushing home. I'd like you to stay here another night,' Adam said. ‘Sister Luke is due back today and she'll be mad at me if I let you leave here before she sees the baby.'

‘I'm in no hurry. This is such a lovely room. Much nicer than I thought a hospital would be.'

Adam had to agree with her. Not long after arriving in the Creek he'd decided that the cold hospital rooms were no place for sick people. And certainly no place for a mother with a new baby. The lovely polished wooden chest of drawers and the colonial-style double bed in this room had been in the doctor's house. When he decided to live in the resident's quarters at the hospital, he'd appropriated the nice furniture for this room. And was glad he'd done it. Except … He felt Jess's eyes on him and mentally winced. Of course! This was the furniture that should have been in the home she was going to use.

He risked a look at Jess.

‘It was very generous of you to set the room up so nicely,' Jess said sweetly. ‘Where did you find such lovely things?'

The look on her face told him she had realised exactly where this furniture had come from. He guessed that he was going to be in trouble as soon as Jess caught him alone.

‘Well,' he said. ‘I had better get a move on. I have to … do things.' He turned on his heel and tried to leave with some vestige of dignity.

Jess watched Adam go, feeling not the slightest bit annoyed at him. In fact, quite the reverse. His generosity and genuine concern for others were an essential part of him. Such an admirable part of him. And, of course, Jess was getting a house full of new furniture. She glanced at the bed, where Nikki was now feeding the baby. It was such a commonplace sight, but one that filled Jess with a storm of emotions.

Her thoughts flew to her own mother, a small and delicate woman who had held her head high every day in that courtroom. In the days following the seizure of the plane, she'd visited Jessica in jail, never flinching as the iron doors clanged shut behind her. She was waiting the day the charges against Jess were dropped and she walked free. Not once had her faith in her daughter wavered. Not one iota. A mother's love. There was nothing in the world stronger.

Last night Jess had slept more deeply than in a very long time. The voice in her head hadn't seemed quite so loud. The guilt not quite so overwhelming. Looking at the tiny baby she had helped to bring into the world, Jess wondered if perhaps she had taken another small step towards atoning for the lost lives she was responsible for. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough, but maybe it was a start.

Jess said a hasty goodbye to Nikki, who was so involved with her baby that she barely saw her go. As she left the hospital she saw Sister Luke approaching from the direction of the car park. Jess was eager to share her experiences.

‘Sister Luke, it's good to have you back. Did you hear the news? Nikki had a baby girl.'

‘Did she? And they are both well?'

‘Yes. I helped Adam deliver the baby. It was an amazing experience …' Jess's voice trailed off. ‘Are you all right, Sister Luke?'

‘Of course, Jess. I'm just a little tired after the long trip, that's all.'

Jess wasn't so sure. Sister Luke looked … smaller. And older. Like someone who had lost a loved one. Or been given bad news. ‘How did everything go?' Jess asked cautiously. ‘At … what do you call it, the mother house? They're not taking you away from us, are they?'

‘No. They aren't.' Sister Luke smiled slowly. ‘It's not like you think. The order always does the best it can for the Sisters. They wouldn't take me away from somewhere I was needed and where I still had work to do.'

‘That's good,' Jess said. ‘Because we do need you. I mean, helping Adam deliver the baby was just the most wonderful experience. But I'm not a nurse. We really do need you.'

A shadow crossed Sister Luke's face, just for a moment. Then the older woman smiled. ‘How did you find working with Adam?'

‘It really was quite something. He was so good with Nikki. And with Steve, too. He said it's his favourite part of being a doctor.' As she spoke, Jess could feel just the smallest glow deep inside her. Small – but fierce and Adam was its cause.

‘It is a wonderful thing to bring a new life into the world,' Sister Luke mused. ‘One day it will be your turn.'

‘I don't know about that,' Jessica said. With the turmoil of her life these past few months that sort of a future had been far out of reach.

‘You should think about it,' Sister Luke said. ‘Now I'd best go and meet the new arrival.'

‘They're in that really nice room with the bed from my house.'

‘I was wondering when you'd find out about that.'

‘I should have guessed that was what he would do with the furniture,' Jess said. ‘It's all right. He was just being generous.'

‘He was just being Adam,' Sister Luke said, a whole world of affection in her voice.

‘And I'm getting all new furniture now,' Jess said. ‘Or I will when I move in.'

‘When is that likely to be?'

‘Soon, I hope. Jack and Ellen say it's almost ready.'

‘I guess you'll be happy to get out of the pub,' Sister Luke said. ‘The Warrens are lovely people – but that's not a home.' With that Sister Luke started towards the hospital steps. She hadn't gone far when she stopped and turned back. ‘Jess, I'm glad you were here when Adam needed you,' she said.

‘So am I,' Jess said. ‘But I'm glad you're back, Sister Luke. He needs you more than he needs me.'

‘I wouldn't be so sure about that,' Sister Luke said, so quietly Jess barely heard her.

Jess watched Sister Luke climb the stairs onto the wide cool veranda. There were only a few steps, but it almost seemed too much for her. Her thin fingers gripped the handrail as if she was afraid of falling. Jess felt she should step forward to help her. She wondered again how old the nun really was.

Jess walked down the side of the hospital building towards the house that should soon be her new home. As she did, Sister Luke's words played through her mind. When she was with Brian she had assumed marriage and a family somewhere in their future. That had been ripped away along with so much else. But she still wanted that future. She stopped walking and closed her eyes, thinking back two days to a hospital room and the start of a new life. She tried to put herself in that image. Tried to see herself as a mother. And by her side … in the role of father?

No! That was crazy, she thought. Not Adam. That was never going to happen. Look at the distance he kept between them. She could still see the look on his face that one time she had touched him. He'd flinched away as if she were poison. That said it all.

The front door of her new home wasn't locked. She had a feeling it seldom was. There was no sign of Jack or Ellen, but the fruit of their joint labours was everywhere to be seen.

Every room sported a new coat of paint. The polished wood floors gleamed in the sunlight. The front room boasted a pair of big comfortable looking armchairs, and a sofa Jess guessed she could sleep on. It was certainly long enough. Walking through to the kitchen, Jess smiled as she saw the new fridge and stove. The cupboards were bare, but each was spotlessly clean. So was the en suite bathroom attached to the master bedroom. The enormous double bed looked just as comfortable as the one that Adam had purloined for use at the hospital. Walking through to the bright family room at the rear of the house, Jess saw the dining table and chairs – big enough for a family. She wouldn't be needing that, or the bed in the spare room. The third bedroom was empty. That made sense. She had no use for that either. It would make a good storeroom. But for what? She had brought so few things with her. She was going to have to go shopping just for pots and pans and knives and forks. Not that she would need many of those, living alone.

Jess left the house not feeling as cheered by it as she had hoped. She would have to check with Jack, but she guessed she could move in tomorrow. It wouldn't take long to buy the few things she needed. It would be good to have her own place. To have the privacy she lacked at the pub. Sometimes, when the nightmares woke her in the middle of the night, she wondered if Ellen, sleeping just across the hall, had heard her. She hoped not. It was pretty clear to her that Ellen had problems enough of her own. Life couldn't be easy for a single mum with two kids.

As she started walking back towards the pub, Jess's thoughts again turned to her own family. Her parents had opened their arms and their home to Jess when she was released from prison. Jess could still see her mother, all five foot nothing of her, standing on the top step, threatening the journalists camped outside the house. Jess had never doubted that her mother would have been after them with the fire irons if they had given her sufficient reason. Her mother hadn't wanted to see her daughter travel so far away. But staying away was the best thing Jess could do for them right now. Maybe, when enough time had passed, she could go back without dragging the media circus with her. In the meantime, phone calls and e-mails would have to do. In fact, she'd give her mother a call tonight!