Flowers on the Mersey (26 page)

‘You don’t think he’ll come back?’

‘We’ll worry about that if it happens.’

‘There were no clothes in the wardrobe upstairs.’

He looked at her. ‘But there was a bed?’

‘Yes. You’d better sleep in it tonight.’

A corner of his mouth twitched slightly but he did not say yes or no. She had trouble keeping her colour down and wondered why she should flush like a virgin at the thought of the two of them in bed together. Although she had not suggested that.

They came to the river where it was shallow and wide. The sun slanted down through trees, dappling the water so that it was a deep mysterious green in places and translucent in others. They could see mud, flowing weed and shiny pebbles beneath.

Daniel stopped and drank from his cupped hand where the river rushed white and foaming around rocks. Rebekah slipped off her shoes and trod carefully in boggy ground where the river had once overflowed its banks and washed over the odd large stone. She found what she was looking for and soaked it to rid it of any mud before putting it in the bag.

Daniel had seated himself on a rock and was staring into the water. ‘There’s fish.’

‘I know. Papa used to bring a rod here.’ She perched sideways on a few inches of rock beside him, and was immediately conscious of the warmth of his hip. ‘There’s a rod in the cupboard back at the house, and a reel with line and hooks and a box of flies.’

‘Perhaps ‘I’ll try my hand.’ He turned his head and their faces were only inches apart. ‘Can I kiss you?’ he said.

‘Yes.’ She took his face between her hands.

His lips were cool with the water he had just drunk and he was in need of a shave, but it was the kiss she had been wanting and needing for a long time.

They put an arm round each other and carried on kissing, long and leisurely, rousing latent passions.
They could not get enough of each other and desire left them breathing heavily when his mouth lifted from hers.

‘Nothing,’ he said, holding her close, ‘has tasted that good in almost two years.’

‘No.’ She rested her cheek against his neck. ‘This is like a miracle.’

He stroked the back of her head. ‘I remember when I first saw you with your hair cut. I’d just been thinking that you’d changed your mind about coming, and it hurt.’

‘I remember your face smeared with grease and dirt in the engine room. I wanted to rush over and fling my arms around you – I’d started to believe that I’d never see you again.’

‘And now we’re here.’

She leant against his arm and laughed.

Daniel grinned. ‘What’s so funny?’

‘Nothing. I’m just happy.’

‘Happy, happy, happy!’ He tried to swing her over on to his knee but could not.

He grimaced with painful effort and she scolded. ‘Give it time!’

‘We’ve lost enough of that.’

Rebekah stood. ‘We’ll catch up.’ She grasped his hand and he came to his feet.

They walked back, arm in arm, enjoying the peace and being in each other’s company.

On exploration of the neglected kitchen garden
they found some strawberries and rhubarb. There were potato plants, too, growing among weeds, but they both reckoned it was too early to dig them up yet.

Rebekah put the moss on the windowsill to dry in the sun, then made sandwiches from the remains of the beef. She had a cup of tea and Daniel a bottle of Guinness. ‘It’s good for you,’ she said with a smile.

‘So are you.’ The kissing this time reminded her of all that was sweet and light. It was honey, sunshine and flowers, and left them both light-headed with joy.

She ordered him to rest in the garden and he told her that she must as well. ‘I’ve got things to do,’ she protested, smiling. ‘A stew to get ready, and those clothes you were given will need altering. And I’ll have to go for some more water and wash a couple of things.

‘Later, girl.’ He took her hand and led her outside.

They lay in the grass, with his head on her midriff, her arm across him, eyes closed against the sun.

‘Less than thirty hours ago I thought you dead,’ he murmured. ‘I’d been shot in an exchange of gunfire outside Four Courts and by the middle of the morning there was a possibility of my joining you in the great blue yonder. “No surrender”, that’s what half of them were saying before the explosion.’

‘What about you?’

‘I was wondering what the hell I was doing there.
Irishmen shooting Irishmen. It’s a terrible thing, Becky.’

‘Why did you join the Irregulars then?’

‘Because I wanted what de Valera wanted: a united Ireland. I’d gone back to sea after the ceasefire, believing it was all over. But it wasn’t, and our Shaun got himself involved and went on about me sitting on the fence. He said I had to choose sides. The trouble was I’d been hankering for a fight ever since Green told me you were dead. I wanted to smash his face in because he was crowing, knowing what I was suffering.’ The bitterness was in his voice again.

Her arm tightened about him. ‘He’s not worth thinking about.’

‘I know. But that doesn’t stop me. Especially now I know he’s in charge of your affairs.’

‘I can cut the connection. The money doesn’t matter.’

There was a pause before he said, ‘Was there much?’

She stilled. ‘You know, I never asked. He gave me an allowance, but there are the shares in the company too. The trouble is that Papa made it so that I couldn’t have control of my affairs until I was twenty-five. I was annoyed about that. Why not twenty-one?’

‘What if you married?’

‘I don’t know, I never asked.’

‘I bet it would be different. It could be why he lied to me.’

‘He lied to you because he hates you,’ she said with a sudden surge of anger. ‘It’s as you said – he wanted to hurt you. He’s that kind of man.’ She opened her eyes and pushed herself up on one elbow.

Daniel twisted his head and looked at her. ‘You must have got to know him pretty well to have discovered that about him.’

‘Pretty well. But I’ll never understand him.’ She looked across the garden, thinking now was really the time to tell the truth. But suddenly it seemed like the serpent in the Garden of Eden – destructive. ‘Can we talk about something else?’

‘Suits me.’ He closed his eyes. ‘Tell me what you’ve been doing for the last twenty months or so?’

Rebekah breathed easier and lay back. Daniel seemed to have no suspicion about her and Joshua. And why should he? It seemed incredible to her now that she had actually gone and married him, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do they part. She pushed that thought aside and began to talk about the life she had led in Liverpool that had not involved Joshua.

‘This Pat – Brigid’s brother,’ said Daniel after she had mentioned him several times, ‘you went out with him?’

‘I was hurting and lonely. It was nothing important. Brigid lost her husband, as you probably know, and it was Pat’s way of cheering us up. I never went out with him alone and I stopped seeing him a
while ago.’ She hesitated before saying, ‘What about this Lily Shaun mentioned?’

‘Lil has a bike. She was acting as messenger for our units in Dublin.’ His head shifted on her stomach.

‘That’s all?’

‘No. Our Shaun told her that there was a woman in my past and that I needed help to get over her.’

‘He had a nerve,’ said Rebekah indignantly.

‘He was never backward in coming forward.’ He yawned.

‘And?’ she prompted.

‘And we were friendly.’

‘How friendly?’

‘Friendly, friendly.’

Rebekah cleared her throat. ‘Like we were friendly after a couple of days?’

Daniel turned his head and with difficulty moved to press his face against the fabric covering her breast. She felt the warmth of his breath. ‘Never,’ he said in a muffled voice.

She wanted to believe him. Then she did not want to believe him. It would lessen her guilt concerning Joshua if he had been with another woman, though she hated the thought. ‘I’d better stir myself,’ she murmured. ‘There’s the vegetables to peel.’ She sat up and he moved with her.

‘You don’t believe me.’ He stared at her straight in the face.

‘Yes I do.’

‘You should. It could never be the way it was with you.’ His tone was serious.

She swallowed, knowing how true that had been for her. ‘I believe you. But I’ve still got to peel the vegetables.’

There was a short silence, then he smiled. ‘Do you want help?’

She shook her head and Daniel pressed his lips against hers briefly, then eased himself down on the grass. When she came back out with some newspaper and the vegetables he appeared to be sleeping. She sat on the step, glancing at him now and again as she peeled potatoes, carrots, onion and turnip, and tried very hard not to think about him and Lil.

‘You can cook,’ said Daniel in a pleased voice, pushing his empty plate and taking her hand.

She smiled. ‘Mama made sure I could. The mutton wasn’t too fatty?’

‘It wouldn’t be your fault if it was – but it was fine.’ He kissed her fingers.

‘Perhaps we could have fish tomorrow?’

‘Sure, if the day’s not too sunny I’ll take a rod. Will you be coming with me?’

‘I might join you after I’ve been to the village. We’ll be needing more bread and I’d like some fresh milk.’

‘You’ll perhaps need to be careful what you say?’

‘I know. You don’t have to tell me you’re an Irregular on the run,’ she said lightly, watching him toy with her fingers.

‘A deserter.’ His expression was grim. ‘The danger in a place you don’t know, is not knowing which side people sympathise with.’

‘I’ll be careful.’

He nodded.

She pulled her hand away. ‘I’ll wash the dishes. You have a rest.’

Daniel frowned, leaning back in the chair so that all the weight was on the back legs. ‘All I’ve done all day is rest. I’m not used to it.’

‘You can fix the fire if you’re so desperate to start that shoulder bleeding, or there’s yesterday’s papers you can read.’

‘I know what they’ll be saying. Will you get me a paper tomorrow?’

Rebekah agreed and got on with her chores. Afterwards they sat on the sofa together and she would have altered a pair of trousers for him but he took them out of her hand and threw them on a chair. She was pulled against him and his mouth came down on hers. His kisses demanded and she responded with a hungry desire that dissolved all sensible thought. Physically he was just as attractive to her as in the past and she was not going to start worrying about the rights and wrongs of the situation she had got herself into. On the
Samson
she
had been ready to do anything to stay with him, and she was ready now. They went upstairs. She had to help him undress and did so carefully, conscious that he was watching her every expression. Her fingers checked his bandage before, trembling slightly, they explored his chest and unbuttoned his trousers. She knew better than to arouse him too quickly and just missed touching the source of his manhood, although it was difficult to avoid and she wanted to please him. She knew, though, that she had to pretend that the only sexual experience she possessed had been in his company. Not easy when her subconscious was telling her where to kiss and caress.

Daniel lay on the bed, watching her undress while the final shafts of evening sunlight played over her body. ‘It’s the first time I’ve seen you completely naked,’ he said quietly. ‘I know you had a good shape because it felt right, but—’

‘Shhh!’ She clutched her frock in front of her. ‘You’ll have me blushing.’

He grinned. ‘I should hope so. Now come here.’

She went, with that first time that they had made love on the beach in her thoughts. Her need for him took away any inhibitions. He touched and kissed places that Joshua would never have considered. She was high with breathless excitement by the time he finally took her.

Afterwards she worried as her fingers searched the bandages back and front. He had bled a little.
‘I’m all right,’ he said drowsily, dragging her arm and pulling it across his chest. ‘Go to sleep now.’

Unexpectedly, depression spoilt the moment. Joshua had a habit of saying those words when he had finished with her. When was she going to tell Daniel the truth? He would not like it. Wouldn’t like it at all! Fear made her feel cold all over. Her arm tightened protectively around him as she tried to shut out a different kind of bedtime memory. She drifted into sleep but the memory followed her and turned it into a nightmare. When she awoke, the decision was made. She was not going to tell Daniel about her marriage.

Rebekah came through the gate, spilling water in her haste, but Daniel had already got up and was in the garden, gazing at the roof.

‘Don’t even think it,’ she said, putting down the bucket and rubbing a muscle in her arm.

He turned and came over to her. ‘Perhaps tomorrow.’ His hand reached for the bucket but she gripped the handle before he could touch it.

‘Perhaps in a week,’ she said severely. He just looked at her. ‘Daniel! I don’t want you trying to unblock that pipe while I’m in the village. You’ll do some gentle fishing.’

‘You don’t think I’ll be using my shoulder for that, woman?’

She sighed. ‘I suppose you will, but not to the same extent as getting up on a roof. I’d say rest completely but I’ve got a feeling you’ve no intention of doing that.’

‘You’re getting to know me.’

‘I should say I am.’ She smiled. ‘Is the fire still in?’

‘I’ve seen to that.’ His hand fastened on part of the wooden grip of the handle. ‘We’ll share.’ His voice was determined.

‘You’re a stubborn man.’

‘And you’re a bossy woman.’

‘Only for your own good,’ she protested.

The tiny creases at the outer edges of his eyes deepened. ‘And don’t they all say that before they start trying to change you?’

‘There’s nothing about you I want to change,’ she murmured, eyeing him carefully and putting her tongue in her cheek. ‘Except several days’ growth of beard, that terrible shirt with blood on it, and your bandages.’

He rasped his chin with a fingernail. ‘They might ask awkward questions in the village if you buy a razor.’

She agreed and kissed him. The next moment the bucket was on the ground and they were lying in the grass making love. It was another two hours before she set out, walking to the village to save petrol.

It was set in a narrow valley with most of the houses spread along either side of a single street. There was a church, the priest’s house, a small school, a blacksmith’s, and a general store that sold everything and had a bar at one end. Rebekah had
considered going to the nearest town about six miles away where she had attended church every Sunday when she had stayed with her grandmother, but had changed her mind, thinking it more probably that she would find out more about Joshua’s man in the village.

She reckoned on it being reasonably safe for her to admit to who she was or had been to Mary Lochrane, who kept the shop with her husband. She was a large woman with a mass of soft brown hair that she wore tied with a bootlace.

‘It’s changing times we’re living in, Miss Rhoades,’ she said as she sliced bacon. ‘You must feel it with your granny gone and the land sold to that man in Liverpool. I’m surprised to see you here, I must admit.’ Her fine dark eyes were curious.

‘You remember my father?’

‘Aye! I remember him fine.’

‘He died.’ Rebekah told her about the accident but said nothing about Joshua’s being her guardian. It seemed that it was not known because the woman only tutted and expressed her sympathy.

‘I’ve nearly got over it now,’ said Rebekah, ‘but I had a yen to see the old place. I was surprised to find the house empty, so I thought I might just stay there a while. Is there someone I should see about it?’

Mrs Lochrane’s head drew closer to Rebekah’s as she wrapped the bacon in greaseproof paper.
‘Nobody’ll be minding. Mr Dixon, whose wife died from the appendicitis, lived there after your granny. He got drunk in here one night roundsabout Christmas and spoke up for the Treaty. Next day there’s a notice pinned to his front door telling him to get out or else. So he upped and left. Seeing as how there’s no Mr Green to check up on people, everything’s been left pretty much as it was.’

‘You don’t see Mr Green here at all?’

‘Not him.’ She tossed her head. ‘Not for years. It’s rumoured, though, that there’s talk of him selling the place. Let’s hope it’s true. It’s not doing anybody any good for things to be left the way they are.’

Rebekah agreed and asked how much she owed. It seemed reasonable considering all she had learnt.

‘Is it on your own you’ll be staying there?’ asked Mrs Lochrane, handling her change.

Rebekah kept her head down as she put the money in her purse. ‘I have my cousin from Liverpool with me.’ She picked up her purchases and Mrs Lochrane moved to open to door for her.

‘Perhaps we’ll be seeing you with your cousin next time?’

‘My cousin hasn’t been well and needs peace and quiet. Some good Irish country air should do the trick.’ She nodded and went on up the street, smiling at anyone who looked her way.

Daniel was not in the house when she arrived
back so she left everything on the table and went in search of him. He had abandoned fishing and was in the river. ‘I thought I might as well get myself cleaned up,’ he called.

‘You’ve got your bandage wet, idjit.’

‘Stop fussing.’ His brown eyes wandered slowly over her in the peach cotton frock and his fingers fastened on her bare ankle. ‘Get your clothes off and come in.’

‘I have no towel and I can’t swim very well,’ she murmured, eyeing him below the water line.

‘It’s not deep, and besides I’ll look after you.’

She smiled. ‘You can’t look after yourself, going and getting yourself shot.’

He pulled on her foot and she lowered herself quickly on to the grassy bank. ‘All right! But don’t rush me. I bet it’s cold.’

‘It’ll take your breath away.’

She pulled a face but began to undo her frock. ‘Mr Dixon, who lived in the house, was threatened. He spoke up for the Treaty.’

Daniel frowned and was silent a moment before saying, ‘Did you get a paper?’

‘They surrendered at Four Courts.’

‘I see.’ For a moment he looked grim. ‘Anything else?’

‘The woman who keeps the shop reckons that it’ll be all right for us to stay. I told her that I had my cousin from Liverpool with me.’

‘So I’ll have to put on a Liverpudlian accent?’

‘And be Quaker and female, I think,’ she said with a mischievous look.’

‘Re-bek-ah!’ he groaned, shaking his head and so sprinkling her with a myriad drops of water before pulling her into the river.

She gasped with the cold shock and pretended to hit him but he put his arms round her and kissed her long and hard until she actually did strike him.

He loosened his hold. ‘This is the life,’ he said against her ear.

‘You’re easily pleased.’ She put her arms round him as the current tugged at her legs.

‘The simple life. You, me, food to eat and somewhere to lay our heads. What else do we need?’ He nuzzled her neck and then lifted his head. ‘What’s this scar on your shoulder?’

She hesitated before saying. ‘It’s where the bed fell on me on the
Samson
.’

‘It looks like a burn.’ He turned her round. ‘You’ve marks on your back as well.’

‘Same thing.’

‘They look different.’ He pulled her close again and rubbed noses. ‘Poor love.’

‘I survived. But I’m not sure I won’t be having pneumonia when I get out of this river,’ she said through chattering teeth. ‘A hot bath is what I’ll be needing, but I’m sure I’m not going to get it.’

‘I’ll warm you up.’ He smiled into her eyes.

‘Is that a promise?’

‘You bet.’ He kissed her, and set about keeping his word.

Daniel slid down from the roof and entered the house where they had lived for ten days. He stared with satisfaction at the brackish-coloured water coming from the tap. ‘You can use that water for washing but don’t drink it, love.’

‘I’ve no intention.’ Rebekah carried a bucket over to the cooking pot and filled it. ‘I suppose I should want it to rain so we can have fresh water in the tank.’

‘I can’t believe we’ve been so lucky.’ He sat on the sofa, gingerly feeling his shoulder, but the bandage and vest were still dry. ‘Becky, we’ll have to get married.’

Her legs suddenly felt weak and it was several seconds before she turned and looked at him. ‘I’m not bothered about getting married. We’d have to talk religion, and as we’re already living in sin, what does it matter?’

He stared at her. ‘It matters to me. And I never thought I’d hear you talking of living in mortal sin so lightly!’

‘I might talk of it lightly, but I don’t mean it lightly,’ she said, sitting down, ‘I was thinking of Adam and Eve the other day and how there was no priest or minister there to marry them. ‘When we
leave here, who’s to know that we’re not married?’

He frowned. ‘I know you don’t want to be a Catholic, love, but I wouldn’t force you to go to our church. But if we could just have the priest say the words over us. I want us to be respectable. I don’t want our children being bastards.’

‘Children!’ She got up and began to sort out the washing, thinking how men thought it was so easy to get you with child.

Daniel came up behind her and wrapped his arms about her waist. ‘It might have happened already.’

Rebekah turned in his arms and looked at him. ‘And it mightn’t have.’

‘We make love all the time!’ he exclaimed, squeezing her.

She looped her arms around his neck. ‘You could be making love to me now instead of talking.’

‘Later. Now I want to sort this out. Once my shoulder’s healed I’m going back to sea.’

She dropped her arms. ‘What’s the rush? We’re safe here and I’ve still got money.’

‘We feel safe,’ he said, slackening his hold. ‘But feelings can be deceptive. And there’s another thing, I don’t like living off you.’

‘But that’s stupid.’ She pulled away from him. ‘In Liverpool I know women who have to work to keep a family going. I don’t suppose the children care who’s earning the money.’

‘That’s different.’

‘But in a way it’s the same. You can’t earn at the moment and the money I have is enough for us to live on for a while longer. I’m not saying for always, just a few more weeks.’

‘And then?’ he said quietly. ‘I go back to sea and you’re left on your own? I want a wife to come home to, Becky, not a mistress.’

She flushed. ‘When you say that it makes me sound different to how I see myself. I think of myself as your wife already.’

He drew her close again. ‘I want to be sure of you and I want you to be secure. If anything were to happen to me—’

‘Don’t say it!’ She clung to him. ‘I don’t want you to leave me. I couldn’t bear it if—’

‘Shhh!’ He kissed her and for the moment decision-making about marriage was put aside.

It was to come up again a week later when they were walking in the hills.

‘Look at that view.’ Rebekah forced Daniel to halt. ‘Let’s rest and have our sandwiches.’

He did as she asked and they sat gazing down the hillside and across a valley to the tree-massed slope on the other side. A rabbit watched them from a few feet away.

‘The view won’t keep us, Becky. We have to make some decision.’ Daniel screwed up his eyes against the sun. ‘I met the priest when I was fishing last evening.’

‘Did he ask where you were staying?’

‘Yes.’

‘Did you tell him?’

‘I gave him the impression I was sleeping rough, and from my tramp-like appearance and my talk, he drew the conclusion that I was an Irregular on the run. We discussed the Treaty.’

She bit her lip. ‘Do you think he’ll report you to the constabulary?’

Daniel’s brow creased. ‘One lone deserter? He asked me what I thought of Father Albert – who was with us at Four Courts – for urging the men to quit to save more bloodshed.’

She sighed. ‘What did you say?’

‘I said I was out of it but that I would have gone along with him.’

‘Sensible man.’ She kissed him. ‘What do you think has happened to Shaun?’

Daniel shrugged. ‘If he was caught he could be in Mountjoy prison.’

‘But if he wasn’t?’ She toyed with a blade of grass. ‘Is it possible he could find us?’

‘Anything’s possible if he really wants to trace us. He has connections and if there’s men in the village who sympathise with the cause—’ He shrugged. ‘We’re not that far from Dublin and he knows the car.’

She was dismayed. ‘You don’t think we should leave now?’

‘Not right now, but soon. We’ll have to think about where to live.’ He lay down, his hands behind his head.

She felt depressed at the thought of being parted from him in an Ireland that was still at war with itself and unexpectedly had a longing to see Liverpool again. At least there she had friends. ‘What about Liverpool?’

‘Liverpool!’ He pushed himself up and his expression had changed. ‘Green’s there.’

‘It’s a big city! Besides, we could live just outside. Seaforth, or somewhere like that.’ Her voice was eager.

He scowled. ‘I don’t want you within ten miles of Green. I don’t trust him.’

‘How’s he to know I’m there? You’re not thinking, love. When you’re away, at least I’ll have friends in Liverpool.’

‘You’re thinking of Brigid, whose brother is Pat. Who’s a sailor. Talk gets round. Before you know it Green will know exactly where you are. Or you’ll go and visit your aunt or that friend of yours, Edwina, and they’ll spill the beans. I don’t want him pestering you while I’m away. You don’t know him like I do. He’s ruthless when he wants his own way.’

‘I’m sure you’re right.’ She felt a strong sense of guilt and apprehension, as if the mere mention of Joshua’s name could spoil everything between them. ‘I’ll have to stay in Ireland.’

He frowned at her. ‘You don’t have to make it sound like a penance.’

‘I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m going to miss you when you go.’

‘I never told you it would be easy being married to a sailor,’ he said, and getting to his feet went on down the hill ahead of her. She followed him slowly, trying to cast off a feeling of gloom.

‘Ugh! I got soaked just coming from the car!’ Rebekah shook herself, scattering raindrops, as she closed the kitchen door.

‘Did you get a newspaper?’ Daniel helped her off with her coat.

‘And posted my letter.’ She took the newspaper from a shopping bag and handed it to him.

He opened it, and after a minute or so said quietly, ‘There’s been fighting in Limerick and Waterford. It’s been going on for days but now both towns have fallen to State troops.’