Flowers on the Mersey (29 page)

Rebekah wanted to scream at that but thought it wiser to remain silent.

Her husband’s expression turned ugly. ‘Nothing to say, my dear! I thought you would have had lots to tell me!’ He nuzzled her neck and instinctly she braced herself as his teeth nipped her skin hard. The next moment she was struggling with him but he forced her down on to the floor. He straddled her, painfully prising her fingers away when she sought to keep her skirts down. He gratified himself swiftly.

When he rolled away from her, it was several
minutes before Rebekah could rise but she managed it. She had to rid herself of the stink of him! The door gave beneath her fingers and she was out and stumbling towards the river. She waded in fully clothed, despite the chill water, and tears rolled down her cheeks. Shaun’s coming, and now Joshua’s arrival, were death to all her dreams.

‘You’ll get pneumonia like that,’ said Joshua from the river bank. ‘Come and get dry and put on a clean frock. Pack your case and let’s get going.’

Rebekah ignored him.

His lips thinned. ‘Rebekah! You’re being utterly stupid. Now come on out of there!’He stepped into the water and seizing a fold of her sodden frock, pulled her towards him. ‘Now you’ll stop this nonsense or you’ll be sorry. Being on your own here has affected your mind.’

A muscle moved in her throat but she did not say anything, only doing what he said. She walked stiffly beside him. He was silent and she knew she was in for trouble, but could see no point in trying to run away. It was obvious that Daniel no longer wanted her. What she had done had been terribly wrong and now she was to pay for it.

She changed and then packed her case while Joshua waited downstairs. For that she was grateful, fearing what he would do to her if he saw Daniel’s spare clothing. She went downstairs, sick with misery.

Outside, Joshua untethered the horse and told
Rebekah to get on its back. ‘I’m too tired to ride,’ she said.

‘You don’t
have
to do anything!’ He made a swipe at her bottom with the crop and she moved swiftly. ‘That’s the ticket.’ He smiled. ‘Just sit and I’ll lead him. We’ll fetch my bag from the big house. I’m not staying in this place any longer than I have to. They’re a sullen lot and it takes all day to get any information out of them.’

Rebekah made no reply but was relieved that nobody seemed to have mentioned Daniel. When they got to the house she paid little attention to her surroundings because she was so depressed. They stayed only half an hour while a pony trap was brought round. Then they left.

Rebekah was sick on the ferry and Joshua told her that it was all in her mind. She thought of her father and how he had said the same thing to her mother, and how because of him she had married Joshua. In that moment she hated them both.

When the Liver birds came in sight she felt a momentary lifting of her misery. At least Daniel had been right in saying that she had friends here.

It was to be several weeks before Rebekah saw either of her friends. With having been away there were matters to be seen to and besides she was unwell and felt lethargic, having no interest in anything. Eventually, though, she decided that she should go and see her aunt. On the way she met Edwina.

‘So you’re home! Did you go to Ireland? It’s been ages. You look terrible,’ said the older woman.

‘Thanks,’ said Rebekah drily, not feeling too friendly to Edwina, partly blaming her for mentioning Ireland to Joshua.

‘What’s up?’ Edwina’s smile vanished. ‘Is it something I’ve said?’

Rebekah realised that she could hardly tell her the truth. ‘Nobody likes being told they look terrible. My tummy’s a bit upset and I feel tired since I got back from Ireland.’

‘Tougher than you thought, was it?’ Edwina put her hand through Rebekah’s arm. ‘Was Joshua cross?’

‘Yes. You know how he feels about Ireland.’

‘By the look of you, you saw more unpleasant sights than you planned on?’

‘Yes, I did.’ Her smile came and went as she remembered her first sight of the wounded Daniel. ‘I really don’t want to talk about it.’

Edwina nodded. ‘I understand that.’

They walked along the road in silence. Rebekah forced herself to ask, ‘Have you spoken to my aunt?’

‘You’re joking! You know her opinion of me.’

‘I was on my way to see her.’

‘Come and have a cup of tea with me first. Dad’s out.’

Rebekah did not really feel like going but said yes. After all, it was not Edwina’s fault that everything had fallen apart.

The cup of tea did Rebekah good and so did Edwina’s gossip about the neighbourhood, coupled with her talk of the latest films. In return, Rebekah told her a little about Dublin, the house and the village. She had another cup of tea and a couple of scones. Her appetite seemed to have returned and she did not refuse another scone when Edwina attentively offered the plate.

Her friend suddenly blurted out, ‘You know, Becky, the more I look at you the more I’m convinced!’

‘Convinced about what?’ said Rebekah in surprise.

‘That you’re having a baby!’

‘What!’

‘You’re having a baby,’ repeated Edwina. ‘There’s a look about your face. And you said that your tummy’s been upset. Yet you’ve been tucking into those scones like there’s nothing wrong with you. Have you seen your monthlies lately?’

‘No!’ Rebekah stared at her and a multitude of emotions erupted inside her. ‘Are you sure?’

Edwina smiled. ‘I can’t be sure. I’m not a doctor or a midwife. Would you be pleased?’

‘Pleased?’ Rebekah pressed a hand to her stomach. Joshua had been going on about a son and heir, but if it was well past two months since her period then … Her spirits lifted. ‘Yes. I’d be pleased.’

‘You’ll have to look after yourself. Plenty of good food and rest,’ said Edwina.

Rebekah nodded and suddenly wanted to be doing something. It was as if she had suddenly come alive again. ‘What should I do?’

‘You’ll have to see a doctor.’ Edwina’s eyes twinkled. ‘I bet Joshua will be over the moon.’

‘Yes.’ Rebekah smiled. Hopefully her having a baby would alter matters.

‘He’ll probably coddle you to death. You’ll have to be careful. Lots of babies miscarry in the first few months.’

‘I’ll tell him that.’ Since returning, her husband had taken full advantage of what he called his marital rights. It was very probable that he would consider the child his but she was sure she knew different. Oh Daniel, our baby! There were times when she just could not believe that he had left her without a word. Now she wanted to weep but instead had to smile. ‘I’ll tell Joshua as soon as I’m sure.’

‘You do,’ said Edwina. ‘The sooner he knows, the sooner you’ll be spoilt.’

Rebekah could only hope that was true.

Because she was deep in thought, she would have walked past her aunt’s house if Esther had not been leaning on the gate. ‘Rebekah!’ She pounced on her, seizing her arm. ‘Thou must come in. I’ve missed you so much. Joshua called and didn’t seem to know where you were. I didn’t tell him about your friend because she told me not to.’

‘So Brigid did come to see you?’

Her aunt nodded vigorously. ‘She spoke a bit rough but seemed very fond of thee. She told me that thou was well and I wasn’t to worry about thee. That you weren’t sure when you’d be home. But I have worried, my dear. Hannah kept saying that she knew that thou would just go off and not come back. That thee were kicking thy legs up in London, and giving the men the glad eye.’ Her cheeks flushed. ‘Thou knows the way she goes on.’

‘Who better?’ said Rebekah wryly.

‘She said it was very odd that thee didn’t write to me thyself and I must admit, dear, that I have wondered why.’

‘I didn’t go to London,’ admitted Rebekah. ‘I’ve been in Ireland and I didn’t tell you because I knew that would worry you even more.’

Her aunt’s look was one of pure disbelief. ‘Why on earth did thou go there? So dangerous, Rebekah.’

She shrugged. ‘There are lots of places in Ireland that are far more peaceful than Liverpool, Auntie dear. I went to see the farm where Papa was born. I just had a yen. I’ve been back for weeks but haven’t been feeling well. Now shall I come in for that cup of tea or not? I have some news you might be interested in.’

Esther opened the gate and they went inside. Hannah was coming down the stairs as they walked up the lobby and Rebekah was certain she had been spying on them through the upstairs window.

‘So thee’s back, is thee?’ said the maid, giving the shiny knob at the bottom of the stairs a vigorous rub with a duster. ‘Just like a bad penny, thou is.’

‘I’m pleased to see you, too, Hannah. Killed anybody’s character lately?’ She smiled.

‘What’s that?’ said the maid, glaring at her. ‘I ain’t killed nobody. Thee and thee arsenic. Miss Esther’s very well.’

‘What’s this?’ said Esther, looking startled.

Rebekah pulled on her arm. ‘It’s a joke which Hannah didn’t get. Let’s go and sit down. That
knee’s still hurting you, I see. I’ll have to get you out and about before I won’t be able to fit behind the steering wheel.’

‘What do you mean?’ said her aunt.

Rebekah told her that she could be having a baby.

‘But that’s lovely!’ Esther flung her arms around her. ‘I do hope it’s a boy.’

Rebekah agreed that a boy would be acceptable.

Thou’ll know thee’s born when thee gives birth,’ said Hannah, smiling. ‘Aye! Thee’ll know, me girl.’

Rebekah laughed and wondered just what reception Joshua would give her news.

Startled but pleased, his pale blue eyes fixed on Rebekah’s face, and he paused in the act of fastening the last button of his shirt. ‘You’re having a baby? Well, it’s about time! I knew I could do it but I was starting to wonder about you. You’ve seen the doctor?’

‘Yes. It’s early days but he’s sure I am.’ She wished she had the courage to tell him that it was Daniel’s child and to wipe the smile off his face.

He sat next to her on the bed, putting his arm round her, and kissed her cheek. ‘We’ll have to look after you now.’

‘Yes. You’ll have to be careful,’ murmured Rebekah. ‘I mean, it might be best – safer – if we don’t have relations for a while. I’ve heard that you
can lose a baby that way.’ She did her best to infuse regret into her voice.

He frowned. ‘Did the doctor say that?’

‘Yes.’ She smiled and deliberately rested a hand on his trousered thigh. ‘I’ll need some money.’

His fair brows rose. ‘For baby clothes? Don’t you think it’s a bit early?’

She opened her eyes wide. ‘For clothes for me, Joshua. I’m going to grow out of everything I’ve got and you don’t want me looking a frump, do you?’

To her surprise Joshua reddened. ‘Of course not. But you won’t go buying them in shops,’ he said gruffly. ‘You’ll have them made. There was a woman my sister used to have call. I’ll find you her address.’ He rose and went over to the walnut dressing table and unlocked a drawer. He came back over to her. She suffered his kiss as he pressed money into her hand and a piece of paper. ‘Treat yourself to something nice, Rebekah. Flowers or chocolates. Some new perfume, perhaps? Anything you like.’

She thanked him, although she considered it no more than her due, and planned to save some of it. She would see Brigid, though, and take her out for a slap up meal where she could tell her all her troubles and hope she did not say: ‘I told you so!’

‘Yer like a bad penny,’ said Brigid in a non-nonsense voice but with eyes suspiciously bright. ‘Yer keep turning up just when I think I’ve got rid of yer.’ With
unnecessary briskness she dusted some non-existent crumbs off the damask cloth on the table between them.

‘Hannah said I was a bad penny,’ murmured Rebekah. ‘I think she still has her eye on my aunt’s money.’

Brigid smiled. ‘She didn’t like me arriving bearing news. She’d rather yer’d just vanished from the face of the earth.’

‘I could get a complex,’ said Rebekah, looking up from the menu. ‘Shaun turned up at the farm after I’d written to you. And, of course, you know how he feels about me.’

‘I was wondering when we’d get round to why you’re home. Tell me what happened?’

Rebekah told her everything, including what she had not mentioned in the letter.

Brigid’s expression was severe. ‘Yer’re a right pair of sinners and I don’t know how many “Hail Marys” yer’d have to say to get yerself forgiveness out of all this.’

‘I don’t blame you for saying that,’ sighed Rebekah. ‘Sometimes I wonder if it was really me doing all those things. But I love him and he loved me.’

‘And having said that,’ said Brigid, ‘you think it excuses everything?’

‘No. But I’m paying for my sins.’

Brigid shook her head. ‘I bet.’ She was quiet a moment then said, ‘I find it hard to believe that
Daniel would just up and leave yer without a word. Although he had every right to be mad with you for lying through your eye teeth.’

‘I didn’t lie,’ said Rebekah with the smallest of smiles. ‘I just didn’t tell the truth. It was so difficult because Joshua and Daniel hate each other, and we were so happy.’ She leant on one elbow. ‘I’ve thought a lot since being back in Liverpool and wonder now whether Daniel would have come back? Although I can’t stop thinking of how he looked when I told him about being married.’

‘It’s a hard thing for a man to stomach,’ said Brigid. ‘But I’m inclined to think that it’s all down to Shaun, Daniel’s going. They must have left together. Weren’t there any clues?’

‘Clues?’

‘Yes! All the best mysteries have clues. Look at Sherlock Holmes and that new writer, Agatha Christie! What was the last thing that Daniel said to yer about Shaun?’

Rebekah considered. ‘Not much. Something about him still hanging around, and Daniel not wanting to talk to him.’

Brigid’s face brightened. ‘There yer are then! He might not have wanted to go with him, but perhaps he had to. You mentioned the troopers—’

Rebekah put down the menu and was silent for several moments. ‘I have considered that the troopers or the Irregulars captured him, but I don’t
like thinking like that. I’d rather he’d just left me than have to start believing all over again that – that he might have been shot by one side or the other.’

Brigid squeezed her hand. ‘Don’t be thinking of any of it. Yer don’t know what’s happened. Maybe yer’ll see him again?’

Rebekah nervously twisted a strand of hair round her finger. ‘I haven’t told you all of it – I’m having a baby.’

There was a brief silence before Brigid said, ‘Well, there’s nothing so surprising about that. Whose do yer think it is?’

‘I’m pretty sure it’s Daniel’s.’

‘I wouldn’t let his lordship hear yer say that.’

Rebekah gave a tight smile. ‘I’m not a complete idiot.’ She picked up the menu. ‘Now what are we going to have to eat? You can have anything your heart desires.’

Brigid’s expression was suddenly upset. ‘Oh, Becky, luv, yer really worry me sometimes! Where will it all end?’

She pulled a face. ‘I don’t know. We’ll just have to hope for the best. What are you having?’

Brigid sighed, ordered roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, and changed the subject to talk about Joe and her family, adding that Patrick had been home, had met a girl in Australia and was talking of settling down there. Rebekah was surprised but pleased and wished him all the luck in the world.

The meeting with Brigid made Rebekah feel more settled and although Daniel was never far from her thoughts and she had a continuous aching regret for what might have been, she looked forward to the baby’s birth.

Two items of news out of Ireland almost destroyed her determination to get on with life as hopefully as possible. These were the reported deaths of Arthur Griffiths from an apoplexy and the shooting of Michael Collins in an ambush. If Daniel had been captured by the troopers and was in prison, there could be reprisals for the death of such a prominent leader as Collins. For days she fretted, but gradually accepted that she was not doing herself or the baby any good.

The months passed slowly and Joshua, who had been irritable at first due to his enforced celibacy, seemed to grow resigned to Rebekah’s unavailability. There were days when he arrived home extremely late but Rebekah asked him no questions. He often talked of ‘my son’ and of the child inheriting Green’s one day.

Just before Christmas the death by firing squad of Liam Mellows, who had been at Four Courts, was reported. His was not the first Irregular’s death Rebekah had read about but it affected her deeply as the baby was moving inside her. She did not want to think of death when life was so precious. She wished so many things could have been different and that
she knew definitely what had happened to Daniel. The Civil War dragged on despite the Irish gaols being full to overflowing with prisoners.

The New Year came and went and the pile of tiny garments, that Rebekah and her aunt were making grew to ridiculous proportions as April approached.

‘There won’t be enough days in the week for the poor thing to wear all these,’ said Edwina, when Rebekah showed her the deep drawers full.