Floyd & Mikki (Book 2): Zombie Slayers (Dawn of the Living) (13 page)

The next three weeks passed by slowly and without incident. No raiders shooting up the place. No zombie bears attacking from the woods. No black helicopters appearing in the middle of the night to try and steal them away. Nothing.

The weather was a steady 74 degrees, with a light breeze. Sunny with scattered clouds. No chance of rain or showers. The fish were biting, the crops were growing, and the animals…were doing whatever animals were supposed to do.

Every morning, Floyd and Mikki got up and made breakfast. They usually ate outside at one of the tables, then washed the dishes and left them to dry as they sparred together awhile to maintain their killing edge. Then Floyd would fish for an hour or two, while Mikki fed the animals and scanned the radio waves for any other survivors. They never heard from Dave or his family again since that first night, and couldn’t help wondering if they were even still alive. They didn’t seem like the brightest bulbs on the Christmas tree.

The afternoons were mostly spent in the old Raider camp. Floyd used the power tools and machinery to modify the armored buggy that the Happy Campers had left behind. He didn’t approve of the sloppy job the raiders had done, so he took it upon himself to virtually rebuild it, making a number of substantial improvements in the process.

He added additional armor to the undercarriage in case they ran over a grenade or something, replaced the engine with a much more powerful one, gave it a tune up, and refitted the machine gun on a rotating ring. From her seat in the back, Mikki could stand up through the hatch and spin around to fire in any direction. All of this Floyd surrounded with bulletproof metal plating, including a pop-up roof of sorts (in case they needed to make a quick exit) and a small, v-shaped metal plow for bowling. Two sharp, angled, three-foot jagged metal blades emerged from the top and bottom of the nose on both sides, ready to slice through anything in its path. He could see through several narrow slits in the metal “windshield” without much chance of a bullet hitting him from outside.

It was half tank, half dune buggy, but was still small and light enough to get fairly decent gas mileage. Even so, Floyd added the 20-gallon tank from the long-deceased Monster Snowplow and a smaller reserve tank, so the vehicle could theoretically travel about 500 miles on a single tank of gas. He made sure there was enough plating around and beneath the gas tanks to prevent a bullet from hitting them.

Floyd loved to tinker, and Mikki loved watching Floyd tinker. There was something really sexy about a man hard at work, and Floyd was really intense about his vehicles. Often times, she would help him—handing him a wrench or something—but sometimes, she would just sit in a chair and watch him. Sometimes she brought a book or two with her to read. The women in the camp might have seemed as sweet and innocent as Rachel Rae, but Mikki had discovered a huge pile of racy romance novels left in a closet that surprised the hell out of her. Mikki was getting a much broader education in sexuality than she had ever expected. She learned some things in those books that even Floyd didn’t know. Of course, he didn’t mind learning a thing or two from Mikki, in that regard.

She also loved her science and educational books. There were a number of books the campers had used to home school their children. In the ranger’s office, she found several piles of Popular Mechanics and various electronics or computer magazines. Those must have been Bob’s. She devoured those nearly as fast as the romance novels. Combined with her daily combat training, Mikki was becoming quite a Renaissance Woman.

The Happy Campers had fixed up the old raider dormitory into a small makeshift hospital. Good planning if someone had gotten sick and needed to be quarantined away from the group, but it had clearly never been used. Whatever few medical supplies the campers had left behind were safely tucked away in cabinets, nicely ordered, neat and tidy. Mikki reorganized the entire barracks, adding her stockpile of Morphinol and other medicines she had brought out of Behemoth.

They had also kept two sets each of the Super Z armor and helmets. It was nice to actually change clothes every day. Now, they were able to shower regularly and clean their clothes properly. Floyd had even started shaving every day! He was actually kind of handsome, in a rugged sort of way, under all that red scruff. Mikki loved the feel of his smoothly shaven cheek pressed against hers, but she also still liked the scratchy feel of a little beard growth, occasionally.

After a relaxing dinner, they would sit together and watch the setting sun from the campground watchtower. It was so beautiful up there! They could see for miles in all directions as the changing colors danced over the tops of the trees. Dying daylight reluctantly relinquished its hold on the world to deepening shades of blue and purple, as night draped its evening cloak over the forest.

Mikki snuggled into Floyd’s arms, remaining in the tower with him until long after the show was over. They had found several decks of cards and old board games in a number of the cabins. Floyd taught Mikki every card game he knew from poker and blackjack to Go Fish. Mikki loved playing Monopoly and Risk, because those games took strategy, planning, and a lot of time to play. She tried playing Dungeons and Dragons with Floyd, but it just didn’t work with only two people. Besides, they didn’t have any of the fun dice, and Floyd didn’t really seem to get the game, anyway.

At the end of the day, it was time for warm showers, cool sheets, and hot lovemaking. Except for the week when Mikki felt she would be ovulating, they shared the most amazing passion together, each trying to outdo the other. And since they didn’t have to worry about waking the neighbors or attracting undead visitors, they were both free to be as loud as they wanted. It was good that they were alone in the camp. On most nights, anyone walking by would have thought they were killing each other.

When they eventually had enough, Mikki tucked herself into a special place in Floyd’s arms. He was so rugged and manly, but he was also tender and sweet. For all his muscular bulk, he turned out to be quite a cuddle bunny. His fingertips never seemed to cease gently stroking her hair or her cheek, as she laid wrapped around him. And he always had the cutest little smile. Mikki loved that, because she knew it was her who gave him that smile.

Oh my God!
She really did love him! She didn’t just love him, like she loved chocolate cake. She really
loved
him. She was
in love
with Floyd! And she knew he was truly
in love
with her as well.

As Floyd’s chest rose and fell under her arm, lost in slumber and punctuated with occasional little snores, Mikki stared at his face in the dim twilight as if she was seeing him for the very first time. She had never had time to think about such things before. She was
in love
with a man who genuinely, really and truly loved her! This wasn’t anything like those romance novels. This was…better! So very much better!

He would literally die to protect her, and had proven it on numerous occasions. He would never hurt her. He would never leave her. She was his Mikki and he was her Floyd.
Her Floyd
, and nobody else’s.

She had always hated men. She had never let anyone near her, let alone inside of her. But now Floyd was there, filling every part of her being. He was in her mind, in her heart, in her life. She loved provoking him, loved teasing him, loved arguing with him, love yelling at him, loved taking care of him, loved working with him, loved pleasing him…she loved
loving
him. She realized that he wasn’t the only one who was protective. She realized that, if the need ever arose, she would die to protect him, as well.

What the hell?

Was Floyd having another one of his weird dreams? No, he looked over at Mikki. She was also looking around, through sleepy eyes. She obviously had heard it, too.

The two had been rudely awakened from their slumber by a sound so implausible, so improbably, so impossible, that they couldn’t quite wrap their minds around it. Were they were trapped in an old episode of the Twilight Zone? That sound couldn’t possibly be what they thought it was. Yet there it was again. Over and over. The sound of a car horn blaring!

“Now what?” Floyd groused, as he jumped out of bed. “Better armor up.”

He didn’t need to tell Mikki, who was already pulling on her battle gear. The two loaded all their weapons and a healthy number of grenades as well.

“You take the tower with your sniper rifle and cover me, while Clyde and I see what’s up,” Floyd instructed.

“Yes, sir! Mr. Man, sir!”

“And
stop saying that!
”

He could hear Mikki snickering in his helmet audio as she climbed up the ladder. When he saw she was in position, he headed toward the sound of the car horn.

They had left the barricade up for just such a reason. They didn’t want anyone wandering into the camp unannounced. There was a way through, of course, but it was a secret gate surrounded by barbed wire hidden among the debris. You could open it from the inside with a key, but you couldn’t even see it from the outside. Of course, someone could find away over it if they tried hard enough, as Floyd and Mikki had done originally. The current visitor, however, seemed content enough to wait outside and keep blowing his stupid horn.

Floyd could see a beat-up, half-rusted, blue station wagon outside the gate through the zoom vision in his helmet. A man was standing next to the car, honking the horn through the open driver’s door. He was wearing short jeans cut off just above the knee and his hairy legs terminated in gray socks and brown sandals. He wore an old blue T-shirt with a faded Captain America shield on it. Inside the car, Floyd could make out a woman in the front seat and at least one other passenger in the back. It seemed the Griswolds had come to visit.

“Damn, Floyd! Do you see what I’m seein’?” Mikki asked, through the intercom.

“I see it. Don’t know what to make of it though.”

Floyd eyeballed the loudspeaker in his helmet screen and set it to loud. He stayed far enough back in the debris that he couldn’t be seen.

“Who are you and what do you want?” he asked, trying to sound as authoritative as possible.

The man leaned inside the car and said something to the passengers. He looked up again, all excited. He climbed up on the hood of his car and started waving. God only knew why, since it was obvious he had already been seen.

“Hey! I’m looking for Floyd and Mikki! Are you guys still here? It’s me, Dave! Got the whole family with me! Can’t wait to meetcha!!!”

“What’s he sayin’, Floyd? I cain’t hear from up here.”

Floyd switched back to the internal intercom and answered, “Some guy seems to know who we are. He’s asking for us. Some guy named Dave.”

“Dave?” Mikki asked. The name sounded really familiar. Then it dawned on her. “Oh, shit, Floyd! It must be that guy from the radio!”

“Well, what the hell is he doing here?”

“Well, I kinda sorta maybe mighta invited him.”

“You did what?”

“Oh, hell, you remember! I told him to stop by if he was in the area. I never thought he’d actually show up! I thought he was headed to NCH!”

“Well, we can’t just leave him out here. He’ll keep blowing that damn horn ‘til hell freezes over. I’m not taking any chances though.”

“Floyd and Mikki are here,” Floyds loudspeaker blasted. “What do you want?”

“Hot damn!” Dave exclaimed. He jumped up onto the hood of his car and started waving even bigger, shouting, “We wanna meet Floyd and Mikki! She invited us over. It’s Dave and Babbette and Chester!”

“Do you have any weapons?”

Dave looked genuinely confused at that question. “No! We ain’t got no weapons! Just an old station wagon and the family dog!”

Dog?
Dog?
Floyd thought every dog in America was either dead or zombified. But sure enough, the rear door of the wagon opened up and a mangy old Golden Retriever hobbled out. It was skinny and its legs were shaky, but it might turn out to be a beautiful animal after a bath, some food, and a little care.

“I got me a hunting rifle in the back if you want it!” Dave yelled, then he jumped down off the hood.

“No! Stand where you are!” Floyd ordered. Bring everyone out where we can see them. And don’t try anything funny. You are surrounded!”

OK, so Floyd lied. They could sue him later. He watched as the Bumpus family lined up next to the car—including the dog. You would have thought they were posing for a family photo. Floyd could hear Mikki laughing her ass off from up in the tower.

“I’m comin’ down, Floyd. I don’t think you got anything to worry about from these doofuses. Hey, is ‘doofi’ the Latin plural for ‘doofus’?” The latter comment was a rhetorical question that Floyd did not even try to answer.

Floyd stepped out into view. He didn’t aim Clyde at any of the visitors, but he carried it in both hands, ready to fire, just in case. Their reactions were hysterical. In the same instant, every face flipped from uber-happy to scared as hell. It was as though an alien had landed to capture them and harvest their organs.

Just for the hell of it, Floyd couldn’t resist playing it up. He took very slow, long strides, sauntering into the open. Then he stopped and froze, pausing for effect, letting them get a good look at him. He was pondering his next move when Mikki ruined it all. She came bounding in with her shotgun in one hand and her helmet in the other. She had the sniper rifle slung on her back, where she also carried the Mini Uzi.

“Hi there! So you’re Dave, huh? I’m Mikki!”

She blew past Floyd and moved to a place in the barricade where they could see each other better through the piled debris. The goofy looks of excitement were back on all their faces again. Well, except for the dog. It couldn’t figure out what was going on, and clearly couldn’t care. The animal plopped down in the dirt and stretched out. Then it began licking itself. It was obviously a male.

“Well, I’ll be!” Dave sputtered. “Well, how do we get in there! We been driving a long time. Sure would be good to have a safe place to stay for a bit.”

“I thought you were headed to California New Haven?”

“Oh, we are! We are! Got a long way to go, though. And we had to stop by and meet the famous Floyd and Mikki! Look here!”

Dave dove into the station wagon and dug around a bit, then he returned with what looked like an old World War II walkie talkie. Or maybe it was a cellphone from the 1970’s. Either way, the thing was huge.

“This here’s our radio!” he cried, stating the obvious. “We can talk to all kinds a people all over the US on this baby. Although, some stopped talking after a while. We don’t know if they died or found someplace to settle down. I hope they did. Find a place to stay, I mean! I don’t hope they died. That’d be just wrong. Uh, but anyways, this here is how we found you!”

Mikki laughed. “Alright, hang out by the car there and I’ll open this up for you. Oh! And this here is Floyd! Say hi, Floyd!”

Mikki was clearly thrilled to have company. Floyd wasn’t. He had an ominous feeling of foreboding. He had been a solitary man for years before the infestation began, and he was really enjoying his time with just Mikki. Still there wasn’t much of anything he could do about it at the moment. He took off his helmet and flashed a weak smile, hoping the Doofi Family would take off right after saying hi.

“Howdy,” he said, with feigned politeness.

Turning away from the unwelcome guests, he pulled Mikki over and whispered in her ear, “Are you sure this is a good idea? Letting them in?”

“Well, what are we gonna do, Floyd? They ain’t gonna leave without meetin’ us, and they’ll just keep blowin’ that damn horn if we leave ‘em outside. The sooner we have a nice little visit, the sooner they’ll leave, and the sooner we can get back to normal.”

As soon as she said the word “normal,” a strange tingle ran up and down both of their spines.
Normal? Well, yeah, why not?
Over the past few weeks, life had somehow become normal, against all odds. They didn’t have time to explore the issue further at the moment, however.

Mikki unlocked the gate, making sure the outsiders didn’t see the trick to opening up the barricade. She intended to go out to meet them and take them over to the Raider camp, but the damn dog got a sudden burst of energy and ran through the gate to jump up on her.

It looked at her with a big, silly dog grin, its tongue hanging out of its mouth and its massive front paws on her stomach. It barked a couple of times, then ran over to Floyd. He wanted to shoot the damn thing but didn’t. At least it wasn’t a cat.

“Daisy!” Babbette yelled.

A male dog named ‘Daisy’?
Floyd and Mikki shared the same thought and looked at each other, quizzically.

“Oh, he’s just excited to see other people,” Dave explained, shaking Floyd’s and Mikki’s hands, saying, “We’re the Rimmers! We’re your biggest fans! We been cooped up in that car for a couple years now. Eatin’ and sleepin’ and just livin’. Back seats fold down so it’s pretty comfy to sleep, and we got plenty of room for food and water and stuff when we find it. Just lock ourselves in if any zombies come around, but we try to avoid them too, whenever possible.”

“Good plan,” Mikki agreed. She chose not to mention that the entire family
smelled
like they had been locked up in that dumpy car for two years. She wondered if they had ever had a bath in all that time. Still, they had somehow survived, and living human beings were a precious commodity nowadays.

“Wow!” Chester exclaimed. “Your tits are huge!”

“Excuse me?” Mikki retorted.

“Chester!” the mom chided.

“Ah, well! Boys! You know,” Dave excused, with a silly grin on his face.

Undaunted, Chester asked a follow-up question. “Can I see them?”

Floyd quickly grabbed Mikki by the arm and spun her around toward the campground, saying, “Are ya hungry? Campground is this way!” From the look on Mikki’s face, he knew she was about to blow if he didn’t intervene. Besides, however indelicate he might be, the little Pugsley brat was right. Her tits
were
huge.

He led them to the center of the campground, Mikki fuming every step of the way. No sooner did they get there than the dog decided to take a dump. As if this wasn’t bad enough, none of the Rimmers made any move to do anything about it.

“Um, anybody gonna pick that up?” Mikki asked tersely, he face still constricted with rage.

“What for?” asked Dave in all seriousness. “Were outside standing in the dirt.” He genuinely didn’t see what the problem was. Which was, itself, another problem.

Babbette disappeared into the nearest cabin, which just happened to be the largest one, without asking. Chester just stood staring at Mikki’s chest. His eyes were breast-seeking missiles, and they were locked on target.

“Um, you should all be fine in cabin four,” Mikki suggested, as politely as she could muster. Her capacity for tolerance was hanging by a thread. She said it loud enough for Babette to hear through the cabin door, which she had left open.

Babette came out of cabin one and looked around briefly, then made a beeline for cabin four, leaving the door to cabin one still open. She popped in for only a few seconds, then came out complaining, “Oh that one is way too small. Cabin one is much bigger. You got any bigger cabins?”

“No!” Mikki insisted (and it was the truth). “But you don’t need such a big cabin for your family. What if someone else drops by?”

“You get a lot of visitors out here, do ya?” Dave asked, innocently.

“Uh, well, no, not really. Y’all are the first.

“Great! Then it’s settled. We’re neighbors! Hooray! Chester come with me. Honey! The boy and I are gonna get our things! We’ll be right back!”

“Ooh! Baby! They got a real tub in here! And hot water and everything!” Babette called from within the cabin.

Before they turned to go, Dave pumped Floyd’s and Mikki’s hands again in an overly exuberant handshake, and with utterly heartfelt sincerity, he said, “We can’t thank you enough. Really! This is really great of you!”

As father and son headed off to the car, Mikki was filled with a sense of dread. She couldn’t help thinking she had made the biggest mistake of her life. Floyd was annoyed, but not nearly as much as Mikki. He kicked a bunch of dirt to cover the dog poo and followed after her as she opened the door to cabin four. He whispered in her ear, “Look at the bright side, if giving them cabin one gets them to shower, we all win!”

Inside, Mikki desperately wanted to laugh at that, partly because it was funny and partly because it was true, but she couldn’t let go of her anger. She punched Floyd hard in the arm, marched off to the cabin and slammed the door behind her, cursing under her breath.