Fluorescence: The Complete Tetralogy (47 page)

“Brian!?”

Someone called my name. I gasped and rolled over on the floor, grabbing at my throat. Wheezing.

No words came out.

My eyes burned. I squeezed them shut against a sudden glow of light.

The floor vanished from beneath me.

My back slammed against the ground.

A musty scent filled my nostrils.

“Brian!”

Alice helped me sit up. My hands brushed against carpet.

The hotel room?

I
looked
around.
Things
slowly came into focus. Ugly brown
wallpaper. Paisley patterns everywhere. We were back.

I took another breath, realizing how close I’d come, yet again, to death. Because of them.

“Shit,” I huffed.

Alice took my arm.

Kareena?
She crawled over on her hands and knees.

“You’re here?” I said as our eyes met.

Kareena’s lips curled into a small, thankful smile and she nodded. “Yeah,” she replied, taking my hand. “I’m here.”

Chapter 32

“
W
e can’t fight back,” Alice said, unwrapping the brightly
colored foil from one of the protein bars Jane had given us. “They almost killed you.” She took a bite, crunching on the nutty center.

I plopped down in the chair across from her. “The Saviors
won’t kill me. I think they need me. I’ve put up enough of a fight already and they haven’t killed me yet. They want me alive, obviously.”

“Mmm. These aren’t bad,” Alice said, munching on the bar.

I needed real food. Soon.

“Your big mouth is what’s going to get you killed,” Kareena
snapped, crossing her arms and screwing up her face. She was leaning against the TV stand. “Keep your damn mouth shut and maybe—”

“I’m not going to help them hurt people!” I shot up from
the chair. “Do you want to be responsible for someone’s death?
And seriously, Kareena, do you want to live like this forever?”

“Well, no.” She shrugged. “But we don’t have a choice. We’re not shit compared to them. In case you’ve forgotten, they’re freaking aliens. They can snap their ugly fingers and zap us anywhere they want. Jesus, when was the last time you watched a sci-fi movie?”

“You think this is some kind of joke, don’t you?”

“No.” She rolled her eyes. “Do you really think I’m enjoying this? I’m not. I just want to go back to the way things were before Alice shocked me. Before I hit my head and you—”

“Saved your life?”

Her lips thinned. She averted her eyes.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Forget it,” she muttered. “You can stay in here and keep
wallowing in your broody shit. I’m going to take a walk.”

She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

. . .

My mind raced—swirling with thoughts of vengeance. Bustling with worries and fears about what we would do next. Where we would go. How we could get there. What would happen if the police found us again? How could we possibly explain everything to them?

I dropped my head back. Hot water drizzled down my face. Almost too hot to bear, but my tired muscles needed to be soothed.

Steam clouded the glass walls of the
walk-in shower
, thickening the air with warm, silky mist. It felt good to breathe in
the steam. Relaxing. Clean. The quietest few minutes I’d had
in days.

The Saviors always toyed with us. Used us as pawns in some game they refused to explain.

Now, they were threatening
me
?

Threatening to remove the one thing keeping my heart stable.

How could they?

I twisted the rusty faucet and the shower shut off. I squeezed
the excess water from my hair and reached for a towel.

People fear death, but feeling it—actually tasting it—is a whole different story. Too many times already. Too much pain within the past few weeks.

And after all of it, Alice had the nerve to turn
cold. Pushing me away as if I were a stranger.

After everything I’d done. Everything I’d been through.

Helping her.

Protecting her.

Sacrificing anything I could for her.

At least Kareena seemed grateful—if only marginally. She
had thanked me, and that was what mattered.

. . .

The next morning, I found Kareena leaning on a wooden
fencepost behind the motel, staring off at a fresh, green pasture that stretched for miles. Tall stalks of grass swayed in the wind. A cool, pleasant breeze tickled my nose and I took a deep breath of clean country air.

Black and brown cows moseyed along in the distance.
Some sprawled out on the ground, sunbathing. Others mindlessly
chomped away at the grass. A few little calves—about the size of German Shepherds—bounded playfully in circles around their mothers.

I smiled.

“Hey.” Kareena turned toward me.

“Hey. So, did everything go okay with the manager?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she replied, wrinkling her lips to the side. “It
went okay. I mean… I didn’t have any trouble getting a room
or whatever but the guy’s a total perve.”

“Oh?” I ran my finger over a smooth section of the barbed
wire fence and gently prodded at one of the barbed knots down the line.

“He freaking tried to hit on me.” She scoffed. “He tried to hit on me and he wouldn’t stop staring at my boobs. I mean, seriously. Back off, Grandpa.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I returned my focus to her. “He was a little creepy.”

She was wearing the same skimpy black-lace skirt and burgundy tank top from yesterday—not that she had any other alternatives—so no wonder the manager had gotten the wrong idea.

“You might have to start dressing down a little around here. Maybe a bit more conservatively even?”

“Damn.” She shook her head. “It’s bad enough we’re in the boonies out here. I have to dress like a hick, too?”

“Well, no, but…”

“Yeah. I get it. Get off my ass, Brian. I’m in no mood for this.”

“Sorry.” I brushed some crumpled dead leaves from the
top of a nearby tree stump and sat down. “I’m a little on edge,
too.”

Kareena took a step closer. “So… you and Alice. You guys okay?”

“Yeah. Why?” I squinted. “It’s not really your business.”

“I know. I’m just asking. You’ve been under a lot of pressure and she doesn’t seem like she’s taking it very well.”

“We’re fine. Don’t worry about us.”

“Okay. Whatever. Sorry I asked.” She turned back toward the pasture.

I watched some calves prancing back and forth, bucking and jumping at each other. Oblivious to the outside world.

It’s ironic how in movies, cows so often get abducted and dissected by aliens.

In movies.

But not in real life. Not in our lives. We were the ones being picked apart.

“Hey, Kareena?” I shuffled toward the edge of the tree stump and picked at a piece of loose bark peeling up on the edge.

“What is it?”

“About Alice… have you noticed anything different about
her since you got here? I know it’s only been a few hours, but still.”

“If by different you mean she’s not glued to you, then yeah.”

“You noticed that, too?”

“I noticed she’s not hanging all over you like she usually is, if that’s what you’re trying to ask me. It’s probably stress.
Maybe she can’t handle it like you can. Or, maybe she just…”
Her voice trailed off.

“Just… what?”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to be here. You ever thought about that?”

Didn’t… want to be where? With me? Is that what Kareena
was hinting at?

The idea crushed me.

Sure, we had marched out on Jane abruptly, but I thought
Alice had trusted my decision. I’d done it for both of our
sakes. We’d needed to get out of there. We’d needed to move on.

I didn’t do this for myself. I did it for us.

“Brian?” Kareena bent down and looked me in the eye. “You asked me what I thought, and I told you. But don’t let it get to you. I can’t do this without you, you know. You have to stay strong for me, too.”

. . .

“Alice? We need to talk.” I slammed the motel door shut behind me and locked the deadbolt. Alice jerked her face up from a brochure she’d been reading while sitting on the bed.

“Brian? What’s wrong?”

“Don’t bother getting up.”

She plopped her feet onto the floor and stood. “What is it? Tell me what’s wrong.”

“So now you care?” I reached toward her shoulders and she staggered back, frightened. “Look! You’re doing it again. Pulling away from me.”

“Brian, what are you talking about? I don’t understand.”

“Kareena was right. Do you even want to be here? With me?”

“Of course I do, Brian. But I’m just—”

“Exactly. There’s always a ‘but.’ You can’t just admit that
what I did was the right thing, can you? You can’t even thank me for putting my own ass on the line for you. You haven’t
shown me a sliver of gratitude for any of it.” I grasped
her
forearms. “You can’t keep pushing me away.” Her legs bumped against
the edge of the mattress and then she tumbled onto the wrinkled up sheets.

“You don’t get it, do you?” I bounded onto the bed and crawled up over her. She tried to scramble out from under me, but I straddled her legs and wrapped my fingers around her wrists, forcing her arms back by the sides of her head.

“Brian? What are you doing?!” Her eyes glistened. “I don’t understand. Why—”

“You’ve been acting like a goddamn child for far too long.” I squeezed her wrists a little tighter. She flinched and sucked in a shuddering breath. “You’re repulsed by me. Like
I’m a horrible mistake you can’t stand to admit.” I took a breath and broke eye contact with her for a moment. “I’ve been trying to tell myself that you just need some space and that I should let it go, but I can’t.” I looked down at her again. “I won’t let
you treat me like this. We’re in this together. You’re not the only one having a hard time.”

I pulled her left hand up so she had to face the ring I’d given her. “Do you even remember why you accepted this? Because you used to… want me.”

“Brian,” she muttered, her lip quivering. “Stop this.”

“Do you remember back when you texted me because you couldn’t stand another second without me? When you wanted me so much you almost gave in and we… But, no. You were so worried about what your mom thought of you that you couldn’t make your own decisions. You couldn’t decide what
you
wanted. What
you
needed.” I put her arm down and pressed it into the bed, crouching down even closer over her.

“Stop, please. You’re hurting me.” She squirmed and tried to wriggle her arms out of my grasp.

I wouldn’t let go.

She trembled beneath me. Something she once did passionately… not fearfully.

Never fearfully.

I brought my lips to the side of her neck and exhaled.

“You used to need me, Alice.” I breathed the words against
her skin. “What changed?”

She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face away. “This isn’t you. Please don’t…”

I scoffed.

Seriously?

“I would never
ever
force you to do anything!” I pushed
her arms deeper into the mattress and then released her abruptly. “The fact that you even thought for one second that I would, disgusts me.” I hopped off the bed and marched toward the door. “Stop being so goddamn selfish and think about
me once in a while. What I’ve given up to be here. And what we’ve been through together. Think about that.”

I left, slamming the door behind me.

I needed air.

Space.

Anything to clear my head of that fearful look in her eyes.

I walked to the edge of the parking lot and sat down on an old prickly wood pallet. It creaked and bowed a little beneath my weight but held up.

Alice actually thought I would force something on her?

How could she even think that? I love her.

Damn it, Alice. Damn it!

I heard movement and lifted my face, hoping it was her but…

Kareena knelt beside me.

“Is everything okay?” She bit her lip.

“Yeah. Sure. I… Never mind.” I drove my hands through my hair and groaned.

She sat down, her hip pressing against mine, and rested a hand on my knee.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, walking her fingers up my leg. Bright red nails lightly scratched against my jeans.

“No.” I exhaled loudly.

She rested her head against my shoulder.

“I know how you feel,” she whispered, so close to my neck,
I felt her warm breath on my skin. “I know
exactly
how you feel.”

“Do you r
eally?” I stared off into the distance, focused on nothing. I doubted she could ever understand how I actually…

“Brian?”

I turned and
looked
her in the eye, our
noses
almost
touching.
She gazed up at me through ebony lashes and cracked a smile.

“I’m here for you… if you need me. If you need
anything
, I mean.” She pressed her fingertips deeper, sliding them up toward my thigh. Her eyebrows rose.

I swallowed hard and a lump caught in my throat.

She had this
look
in her eyes. This I’ll-sleep-with-you-and-we-don’t-have-to-tell-anyone look.

But I’d seen it before. More times than I had wished to.

And in a way, I couldn’t blame her. With the fluorescence
threatening to burst her head every time she flirted with a regular guy, it had to be hard for someone like her—someone who made a hobby out of sleeping around.