Fluorescence: The Complete Tetralogy (48 page)

“I know you care about me, Kareena,” I said. She glanced at my lips. “I’ve seen it in your eyes. But…”

She brushed a hand across my jaw line. Warm fingertips sliding over my face. My eyelids drew closed against my will and I exhaled.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad—her wanting me.

At least someone did.

But all she wanted from me was…

Fingernails tickled the back of my neck and I opened my eyes. Her woodsy green irises glimmered with l
onging. Her
hand
crawled
toward my waist. She
tangled two fingers around my belt and tugged gently, inching closer. Her shallow breaths
rising and falling in her chest. So near, I could feel the heat of her body—the intense craving she had for me.

And for one goddamn second, I thought about it.

I almost considered her blatant offer. Considered saying to hell with the rest of the world and humoring Kareena. Knowing how desperately she wanted to please me with her twisted little fantasy, it probably would have been freaking amazing.

But it would have ended right there.

It wouldn’t change things. It wouldn’t extinguish the fire building inside—the need to have Alice back. My Alice.

I didn’t love Kareena. Maybe I’d grown to care about her, but I didn’t
want
her.

I couldn’t. Not the way I wanted—needed—Alice.

“This is just a game to you.” I pushed her hand away. “I’m not that desperate, Kareena.”

It wasn’t about sex. It was about having the girl I loved with me the way she had been before—back when she wasn’t filled with so much fear. Before every minute threatened our very existence. Back when I’d embrace her and she’d melt into me, trusting me completely.

Back when I knew she needed me in her life.

Now she recoiled. Annoyed by my every word and action.

“You can’t win this one,” I said. “So save your energy and drop
it. I’m with Alice. Only Alice.” I pushed up off the pallet and headed back toward the motel.

“Have fun with your little girl!” Kareena called after me, snarkily.

I clenched my teeth and turned. “Have fun being alone.”

Her jaw dropped and she huffed, crossing her arms and looking away. She let out a loud, frustrated groan as I walked away.

Chapter 33

F
rom outside, I heard sobbing beyond the door. I shoved the key into the knob, turned it until it clicked and released the lock, then eased the door open.

At that moment I couldn’t have hated myself any more.

Alice lay curled up in the fetal position, quaking, crying her eyes out on the bed. A mountain of tissues balled up on the floor. I approached slowly and climbed onto the bed. My weight sunk into the mattress and she let out a muffled whimper.

“Alice?” I scooted up behind her, resting my fingers onto
her bare shoulder. I kissed her arm and she cringed.

What have I done?

“I’m sorry, Alice.” I kissed her cheek, tasting salty tears. “I am so damn sorry.”
Her skin trembled beneath my fingers and my chest tightened. “I shouldn’t have done that to you. There was no excuse for it.” I shuddered and strained to keep my composure. Every stitch of my being was unraveling. “I did all of this for you. I can’t… I don’t want to be here without you. I’d rather be dead right now, than go this alone. Please, Alice.” I rested my forehead against her shoulder and a tear streamed down my cheek.

My face grew hot. “We have an entire lifetime ahead of us,
but I feel like we’re drifting apart already. In just a few days. And that scares the crap out of me, Alice. Every moment I
breathe is only because of you—because I want to be here with
you. I need you in my life.”

She sniffled, then rolled over to face me, wiping her cheeks
with the backs of her hand. “I want a life with you in it, too,
Brian,” she said, quivering. “But I never wanted a life like this.
Always afraid. Uncertain. Like oddities in a traveling freak show. I’m tired of it.”

I scooted closer and rested my arm on her waist. “So am I.”

Her breaths softened.

“Brian, I can’t find the strength to love you when I don’t ev
en love myself right now. I wake up every morning and contemplate how I could die that same day. How I might lose you.
How we’ll get by. How to end the day without hurting more people. These aren’t the kinds of things a girl my age should be worrying about.”

“I love you, Alice. I’ll love you no matter what. But you can’t let this nightmare the Saviors created change who we are.” I took her hand into mine and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“I understand,” she replied. “But I need you to believe in me, too. Respect me for being who I am. For being strong. Responsible. I can do it, if you let me. If you believe in me.”

I propped myself up onto my elbow and brushed her hair behind her ear. The fluorescence ignited in my arm and the blue cast a soft tint on our surroundings. I couldn’t hide how much passion I had for her.

“It never should have gone this way, Alice. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I’ll try to let up more from now on and give you space to grow. I’ll try.”

“Thank you, Brian.” She combed her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and exhaled a slow, contented breath. Warm fingertips gliding across my scalp. Slender fingers lovingly coiled a length of my hair.

If she could forgive me, maybe I could forgive myself.

Maybe
…

“I love you, Brian,” she said, cupping my face with both hands, her voice breaking. Her eyes gazed into mine. “Don’t
ever…
ever
doubt that.” She leaned in to kiss me briefly, then
came onto her knees and pushed me off my elbows and onto my back.

“I won’t doubt you anymore. I promise. I’m sorry for what I
did to you earlier. I—”

“
Shh.” She pressed a finger to my lips and moved forward, on
top of me. “You’ve been dealing with so much anger and pain. Bottling it all up inside. We all have. What you did was a mistake, but I forgive you for it. It’s in the past now.”

I slid my hands to her waist and wrapped my fingers around the supple, smooth skin peeking out above the waistband of her jeans, my thumbs flitting over her hipbones. The warmth of her body made me shudder. Goose bumps rose across my arms, and the hairs on the back of my neck perked up. She came down to kiss my lips first and then the sensitive flesh of my throat.

The light of my fluorescence tinted her skin a gorgeous
soft blue. The green glow of her shoulder sparked to life dimly
at first and then grew brighter, taking on a faint teal hue.

Alice?

“We’re meant to be together,” she said, exhaling a hot breath
near my ear and then kissing me there. Her wandering hands wrinkled up my shirt. “Together we’ll get through this.”

My Alice.

. . .

I put my feet onto the knobby carpet and craned back to look at her. Even tangled up in ugly beige sheets, Alice was breathtaking
. Wavy dark brown tresses complimented
a porcelain white complexion.

Warm, afternoon light seeped in between the curtains, making the soft blue of her eyes sparkle. A subtle pink flush of color on her skin made her glow with new life.

I didn’t want to leave her, even for a short while. But she could take care of herself. She needed me to believe that—to trust her.

From now on, I would.

I bent down to scoop my clothes up off the floor and pulled the t-shirt over my head. Alice reached across the bed and twisted her fingers around the hem of it.

“Don’t go,” she said, looking up at me with a frown.

I chuckled. It was the first time I’d smiled in nearly two days.

“I’m just going to take a quick walk down the street and see if I can grab us something other than protein bars to eat.”

“Be careful,” she added, withdrawing her hand as I stood.
I tugged my jeans up both legs and weaved my belt through the loops.

“I will. Don’t worry, beautiful.”

Alice smiled.

“I’ll be back soon.” I quietly closed the door behind me and locked it.

The manager had mentioned a gas station and some
drugstores not far from where we were.

I set out to cross the parking lot toward the main road.

After only a few steps, I froze.

Voices.

I heard someone talking. Worried it could be the cops, I held my breath and listened.

Kareena?

Who was she talking to?

David?

No. It couldn’t have been. At least I hoped it wasn’t. I wasn’t prepared to deal with the havoc he brought along with him
. Not today.

I listened intently to her voice and followed the sound around to the back of the motel.

“Kareena?” I asked, rounding the corner that led to the pasture.

There she stood, alone in the distance, staring straight
out at nothing. Fixated on something—or someone—I couldn’t see.

“Kareena?” I called quietly, trying not to startle her.

She ignored me so I tried again. “Kar—”

“What… are you?” she asked no one.

My eyes widened and my jaw eased open.

Had she lost it?

There was nothing there but grass, going on for miles in front of her. Nothing.

Then her brow furrowed and she nodded, still watching the invisible thing intently.

“You can help us?” she said, anxiously cupping her hands
together near her heart. “But… how?”

Chapter 1

W
hile sitting back on my heels beside him on the bed, I drove my hands through his hair and watched the blue light
burning inside him as it
always had. Alive. Skittering through his bloodstream.
Brightest in his left arm.
A glimmer of azure surged through his heart, outlining the organ in slivers of throbbing white fire.

His eyes wandered, his gaze flitting from wall to wall before finally returning to meet mine. I glanced into his weary eyes and cracked a small, sympathetic smile. Even in
his darkest moment, the vivid greens and soft golden browns drew me in. Only now there was fear and uncertainty
in them. Fatigue.

He was tired of running. Tired of feeling
like he was fighting this battle alone.

“Kareena, I—”

“No.” I pressed a finger to his lips and shook my head. “Don’t over think it.”

He lowered his head in submission.

“Hey,” I whispered, tipping his face up. “You deserve better. You know that, don’t you, Brian?” I reached for his hands. “She doesn’t deserve you.”

It wouldn’t take long for me to alter his world. I’d make him forget her—even if only for a moment. I’d leave a mark on
his soul. Leave him spellbound, wanting more.
Wondering why he hadn’t chosen me instead of
her
from the beginning.

I straddled his legs and leaned in, exhaling a breath near his throat that made him shudder—his chest swelling with sheltered desires. His smooth, musky scent made my heart pump faster, the beat thumping into my fingertips.

My hands drifted up to his collar, where they worked to begin unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes locked on to mine and an anxious breath escaped his lips as I set the second button free. And then the third. And fourth. Blue light licked at the surface of his skin, forking and reeling through him, the soft color tinting me with its wintry glow.

I continued until I could peel apart the sides of his shirt and run my fingertips across his bare chest. I traced his
collarbone with a bright red fingernail and grinned, caressing
flawless curves of ivory skin.

A stroke of my tongue against the sensitive flesh on the side of his throat made him drop his head back against the wall with a muted thud. The sexual tension quickened his pulse, making his breaths hasten. His face came back down
and our gazes met, a new kind of need glistening in his hazel eyes.

Damn it! Why can’t I have him?

I could hardly stop slipping in and out of the daydream whenever he was near me.

“I know you care about me, Kareena,” Brian said, looking off into the distance.

The sun glistened off his light brown hair. His sof
t, beautiful hair. So perfect, bristling against my palms. I inched closer to him until our hips touched and took a breath near his collar. My fingernails gravitated toward the back of his neck where I scratched him playfully. Imagining us together in my motel room, intertwined, made my heart race.

I wanted to be in his arms. I wanted to snuff out whatever
glimmer of
her
remained. With my experience, I could fill his head with things he’d never thought about before. Things he wouldn’t soon forget. Things that would bring him crawling back, wanting more. Moaning in the ecstasy
I
could give him. Calling out
my
name.