Flutter (The Discover Series) (26 page)

“He is out of town for the weekend. I’ll see him Sunday.” I didn’t want to talk about him, so I didn’t leave any room for elaboration.

“Are you guys doing okay?” She asked lightly. Trying, and failing miserably, to act as though her question didn’t have a deeper meaning.

“Were alright I guess.” I said slowly. I tried to catch her eye, but suddenly everything around her seemed to catch her interest, and she avoided all eye contact.

“
Elizabeth
?” when she still didn’t look at me I stopped, trapping her arm with my elbow, and pressing it into my side. She jerked to a halt and reluctantly looked at me. “What’s going on?”

She groaned, “I wasn’t supposed to say anything. I promised I wouldn’t.”

“Tell me!” I demanded. I freed her arm, and shoved my bare hands into the cooled pockets of my wool jacket.

“He is just so worried about you. Just like I am,” she said attempting to defend both of them. “You’ve been so distant since you’ve been back and it’s freaking us out. He just wanted to know if everything was okay between the two of you.”

“So he came to you for relationship advice? Why didn’t he just ask me himself?”

“Because every time either one of us tries, you always have the same response, ‘
I’m fine’
She mocked.

“So you guys have secret intervention meetings behind my back? Is there anyone else that I should know of who is involved, Andres perhaps?”

“No Sara! It’s not like that, we’re just worried.” She sounded frantic.

“Did it ever occur to the two of you, that maybe I really am
fine?
I don’t understand what else I need to do to make you guys understand.
”
 

I was being completely unfair, but I was angry at everything. Elizabeth and I never fought. She hated confrontation, and she hated the kind that involved us. We had never gotten into any kind of arguments like this before; it was foreign territory for the both of us. I didn’t like fighting with her. The tears that glistened in her eyes told me she hated it too, and because I hated myself for hurting her, I turned to walk away.

“Sara, where are you going?” She called out to me.

“I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a few minutes!” I shouted over my shoulder, unable to look at her again.

When I finally reached the bathroom, the girl’s line was so insanely long that I kept on walking. I needed a few minutes to myself before I caught up with
Elizabeth
again. I was a horrible friend. I understood they were concerned about me, but I didn’t like having my every word or action analyzed. I just wanted to walk around and not have to pretend that I was normal.

As if on cue, my deviant defect, reared its ugly face, and I could feel the low flutter underneath the surface of my skin intensify. It was always there, but so lightly that I had become use to it, and was able to tune it out…mostly. I couldn’t remember if it had been something that I had always been able to feel, but ever since I had awakened in the ice, I was constantly always aware of it.

Not again, I groaned.

I looked around, not really sure what had caused the freakish radar in my body to spin out of control. I searched for his face. When I had had the attack earlier he had been there, and maybe if he was around now I would have a good theory to start building on.

Maybe it was ‘insanely hot guy radar’?
I thought.

I wished it could be something that simple, but something told me I wouldn’t have it so easy.

The current raced through my body, like I was a track and it was doing laps over and over again. My heart was pounding in my chest, and it was getting harder to breathe. It was different than it had been in the forest, but it was just as strong as this morning. The sensation was ferocious, but painless, and a little harder to ignore. I breathed in large amounts of air, hoping to stop my head from spinning, and control whatever was happening to my body. I continued to walk, I was being pulled toward him and there was nothing I could do about. My body had known way before my mind did, that I was going to seek out the mystery boy from earlier.

An applauding crowd had gathered around, waiting for the show to start. It was one of my favorite parts of the festival. Musicians from all over came here just to sing in front of crowds of strangers. They were brave to put themselves out there like that and I had always admired every single one of them.

I pushed my way through the crowd until I could see the small set up for the performers. I tried to focus on the boy sitting with his guitar in his arms; he had been tuning the instrument when I saw him stiffen. His head snapped up and his eyes met mine, we stared at each other and my heart started to beat wildly out of control. For one paranoid moment I thought the sound of my heart had stolen the show, but when I glanced around no one even noticed I was there.

He shifted in his chair, before he plucked at the strings of his guitar. Beneath the gentle persuasion of his finger tips, the melody flowed flawlessly from his guitar as he started the beginning of the song. When the sound of the music echoed through the speakers, the crowd grew quiet. I was growing anxious, but I didn’t know why. I hadn’t identified the music, but when he started to sing the words, I knew instantly what song it was.

“My life is....”

As he sang his voice poured over me, sending shivers down my spine. I had a hard time paying attention to each word.

“
My … brilliant,

My love is..
.”

With the next line, he lifted his head and his blue eyes found mine, pinning me in place. My gasp was loud to my own ears, but no one seemed to notice it over the music. I no longer had to worry about the beating of my heart, because I was pretty sure it had stopped.
His eyes seem to send shock waves
through my body every time I saw them. I
knew
they couldn’t, and didn’t, belong to my wolf, but this hadn’t been the first time I had thought I was staring into those same blue eyes. Of course I had been wrong.

“
I saw this girl…
”

His eyes never left mine and I never thought to look away. He didn’t have to look down, to make sure he was going to string the next cord correctly on his guitar. He was entirely sure of himself and it showed in the way he looked at me, and the way he was singing to
me
, because that’s exactly what he was doing. I felt the blush that warmed my face, highlighting my cheek bones.

"
So close... yet so far away,
I want to touch you
But I'm afraid that I'll stay
.”

When he finished the last two lines, a very slow and dangerously sexy smile spread across his face, and he winked at me. My insides melted and I swallowed hard.

“
Consumed by you, consumed by you,

I saw your face in this crowded place,

Couldn’t take my eyes off of you,

I can never be with you.”

M
y sadness seemed to mirror his at the last line.
It’s just a song,
I reminded myself.
He was working the crowd
, but I couldn’t entirely convince myself of that. When he stood up and started walking toward the crowd, toward me, my stomach dropped and twisted. I held my breath when he finally started singing again.

“I can’t take my eyes off you,

I wish it wasn’t true,”

He stopped standing directly in front of me, and for a moment we were the only two people in the world. I wasn’t aware of the thousands of jealous eyes that were glaring into my back, I was only aware of him. The eyes couldn’t be the same, but his blue eyes were just as breath taking and that’s exactly what he was doing to me.

“
That look in your eyes
Is like fuel to my flame
Can you feel my heat rise...,”

For the first time since he had looked at me, he broke eye contact, and I wanted to cry out in protest. He was walking around me and my whole body was tingling, just from his presence. He seemed careful not to touch me, and I was both glad and extremely disappointed. He was in front of me again and this time he was closer. The next lines came out acapella, as he pushed the guitar behind him. He was standing within inches of me, so close that I could feel his body heat, but he was still careful not to make contact.

“Consumed by you, consumed by you,”

I was lost in his intense gaze, being hypnotized by his voice, and being persuaded by that incredible smile. I didn’t move when his hand came up, and he dragged the back of his fingers down the side of my jaw bone and underneath my chin before he let his hand drop away. The touch was filled with tiny sparks that left my face sizzling.

“Consumed by you.”

He stepped away, pulling his guitar back into place, picking up on the notes where he left off. As he sang, he slowly walked backwards.

“I found your face in this crowded place,

I can’t take my eyes off you,

And I’ll never be with you.”

Why did that hurt so much?

He sat on the stool and strummed the last few bars.

His smile was gone and there was no more trace of that confident teasing. His voice was almost firm and the last lines were sung with a hint of finality, that I wanted to deny with everything inside of me, but I didn’t move a muscle.

“Why can’t I see, that

I will never be with you.”

He strummed the last bar and went silent.

Seconds later the crowd was cheering and applauding. His smile was forced, and was meant for everyone around me, but his eyes were fixed on my face. I could feel the tears that threatened to fall, and I no longer wanted to be standing so close to this boy. I fell back a step, letting the crowd of cheering people swallow me, until I was able to turn around. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see
Elizabeth
, and if I turned now, I could still pretend like I hadn’t seen her.

I turned away just in time to
not
see her trying to flag me down. I wanted to take off in a full on sprint, but that would have made it obvious that I was trying to escape. Walking as fast as I could, without looking like I was running away, I looked for a place to hide. I just needed five more minutes to myself before I faced Eli. I didn’t know if she had caught the performance, but something told me she had.

I could hear her calling my name above the swarm of voices all around, but I kept on walking, picking up my pace just a little. Then I heard another voice calling my name, and I almost skidded to a stop. I wanted to whirl around, but I was scared to death. I didn’t know what had happened to me back there, but it took every ounce of control I had not to turn back. I took a fast right, and I was relieved when I found the perfect hiding spot. I jogged to the photo booth, and dug through my pocket for the correct amount of change. I didn’t actually plan on using the machine, but I wanted people to know someone was in here so they wouldn’t disturb me. Feeding the money into the slot, I pushed the curtain open and slipped inside, closing it behind me.

I leaned against the cold metal wall and closed my eyes. I was breathing hard, and I felt like I had just been running for my life. My throat felt tight and my lungs hurt, I felt drained and exhausted. I just wanted to go home, hide under my bed, and never come out. I had thought about running away many times, but no matter how angry I was with Andres, I couldn’t do that to him or Elizabeth or even Scott.

I heard a beeping sound, and my eyes opened to seek where the noise had come from. I saw the little computer screen blinking instructions, and I touched the screen until it started to count down. My nerves were still completely frazzled, and I still felt like I hadn’t caught my breath. I knew I couldn’t hide out here forever and I sighed. Ignoring the flashing screen, I grabbed the curtain, pushing it aside. It was overcast, but still considerably brighter outside, compared to the dimly lit box, and I had to squint. I managed to get one foot outside, before I was completely blindsided, and quickly shoved back inside.

He had me pinned against the wall, and the curtain closed behind us, before I had time to blink. I opened my mouth, but what I was going to say, I hadn’t thought of that yet. It didn’t make much difference, because he had his finger pressed against my lips before I could say anything. My lips instantly began to tingle, and I realized I was holding my breath.

“Shhhh,” He whispered, ducking his head. His warm cheek pressed against mine, and I could feel his breath in my hair. My eyes slid closed when I felt his words tease my ear. “She’ll hear you.” Was all he said, and it took me a minute to realize that he was referring to
Elizabeth
.