Flutter (The Discover Series) (40 page)

“Will you be-“

“Do you need me-“

We started at the same time and then laughed.

“What were you going to say?” he asked.

“I wanted to know if you needed a ride home?” it occurred to me then that I didn’t even know where
home
was. “Do you live close by?”

“I’m actually staying at the hotel down the street for now.”

“Oh, how long do you plan on staying there?” I hoped it didn’t sound like anything, but curiosity.

“I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon if that’s what you’re asking.” He said sticking his hands in his pockets and lifting his shoulders.

“Oh,” I said remembering. “Here’s your jacket, thanks for-” He stopped me before I could pull it the rest of the way off to give to him.

“You keep it.” He was already pulling it up around me again. He tugged the ends together in place pulling me
toward
him. “I know where you live if I need it.”

“Thank you.” Why did I sound breathless?

“You’re welcome.”

We stood there, delaying the inevitable.

“Will you be okay?” He finally whispered, breaking our silence.

“Yes. Andres will be more worried then he will be angry.”

He nodded. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

“I have to work.” I wanted to say yes.

He nodded again, not saying anything this time.

He continued to stare at me, his eyes always seemed greedy when he looked at me. Like he was trying to remember every detail about my face and the realization of this made my stomach flip. I was relieved to know that he seemed to take as much pleasure in looking at me as I did him.

“Damn,” he said frustrated.

“What?” I asked confused.

“I really want to kiss you.” His eyes were all over my face and I forgot how to breathe.

“Sara,” his hand came up and his thump brushed across my lips, slow and tantalizing, back and forth, over and over. I couldn’t help and think how delicious his touch felt, “breathe Sara.” He whispered softly and slowly I let out the breath I had been holding. “That’s my girl.”

“Adan…” I bit my lip not wanting to have to finish my sentence.

He closed his eyes tightly, letting out a loud sigh. “I know.” He said. When he finally opened his eyes I was watching him closely. “Don’t worry,” he was staring at something over my head, “I’m not going to…” he said finally looking at me, “yet.”

The back of his fingers trailed slowly down my throat and he reluctantly dropped his hand away and I could feel his disappointment. He took a step back, holding his hands behind his back and I frowned instantly confused.

“Sara?!” I heard from behind me.

Scott!
, I froze, panicking at the tone of his voice.

He was angry.

I looked at Adan, but he was staring over me again and everything made sense. I turned around hoping I didn’t look as guilty as I felt. I tried to calm my racing heart as much as I could before I spoke.

“It’s okay Sara.” Adan said low enough for only me to hear. He had stiffened after hearing Scott’s anger and took a protective stance next to me. “He’s not going to hurt you.”

Before I could respond Scott was coming around the side of my car, demanding answers. “What the hell are
you
doing here?” He hissed at Adan.

Okay he was
very
angry.

Adan ignored Scott glaring right back at him, never once showing any sign of backing off of their intense stare down.

Scott was the first to look away and he turned his stare on me. “Where the hell have you been?! Where is your phone?!” He pushed himself between Adan and I, leaning into my car and grabbing my phone from the seat. I caught a glimpse of Adan’s face over Scott’s body. He was still glaring at Scott’s back and I could see the tense muscles in his jaw as he gritted his teeth together.

The minute he picked up my phone I could see the screen was being lit up with another call from Andres. Scott slid his finger over the screen, answering the call and bringing it up to his ear.

“Andres, its Scott, I found her.” I couldn’t hear anything Andres was saying on the other end, but I was able to fill in blanks by Scott’s end of the conversation. “No, she fine. She didn’t have her phone on her.”

I was suddenly
very
irritated by Scott and Andres’s conversation about me as if I wasn’t standing right there. I could understand Scott being upset with me, but he had never talked to me that way before and I was not about to let him talk to me like that now.

“Give me my phone Scott.” I said sternly and held out my hand waiting for him to put it there.

“Hold on Andres.” Scott said before handing me over the phone.

“I’m on my way home Andres.” There was silence on the other end, before Andres gave a terse ‘okay’ and I hung up the phone without saying another word. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to deal with Scott.

“Scott calm-“

“What the hell are you doing with him Sara?!” He demanded, talking over me. “It’s almost 1 in the morning! I’ve been trying to call you for two hours!!” He yelled.

I hadn’t actually checked the list of missed calls and realized that I had just assumed they had
all
been from Andres. I could see Adan’s jaw clenching and unclenching and could almost hear him grinding his teeth together.

“I suggest you watch the way you talk to her.” Adan’s voice was low and almost deadly as he spoke his threat.

He turned
toward
Adan. “I’m sorry, please tell me how any of this is your business.”

“
Sara. Is. My. Business
.” He said slowly, biting off each word.

Scott turned
toward
Adan fully, his face bright red and fuming at Adan’s fierce declaration. Quickly I grabbed Scott’s arm pulling him back and getting between the two of them.

“Stop it!” I held my hands up between the two of them.

Please Adan, please
, I thought to myself and looked at him, my eyes doing all the pleading my voice couldn’t do with him. I silently begged him not to take this further. I could feel the anger vibrating off of him against my hand even though I wasn’t touching him, he was furious, but he backed down.

“Will you be okay?” He asked.

Scott bristled behind me. “Are you freakin kidding me?! Of course she’ll be okay!!” he snapped. “Tell him Sara.”

Adan ignored Scott, his eyes never leaving my face.

I shook my head. “I’ll be fine.”

He seemed reluctant to go, but we both knew he didn’t have another choice that probably wouldn’t end in a fistfight with Scott.

He stood there for another minute before finally nodding. There was a look in his eyes I couldn’t explain and then he left me stunned. “Goodnight spitfire.” He turned off in the direction of his hotel.

I stood there for what seemed like forever. Remembering that Scott stood behind me, I took a deep breath trying to gain some composure before having to face him. The only thing my mind wanted to concentrate on was Adan’s parting words.

“What’s going on Sara?” He asked quietly behind me, all traces of his anger gone the minute Adan was out of earshot from us. “Is there something going on between you two?”

Finally I found the courage to face him. “I would never cheat on you Scott.” I said sincerely, doubting that I hadn’t already been doing that.

“Then explain to me what’s going on. Explain to me why you’ve been ignoring my calls –Andres’s calls. Tell me why you’re out in the middle of the night with him. I don’t understand what’s going on with you lately.”

Without the intense pull that I had
toward
Adan, when he was so close to me, there to cloud my ability to separate myself between right and wrong, I felt the guilt that I had managed to ignore, all too clearly. I reached up hugging Scott and pushing away the nagging voice inside my head that wanted to point out to me how wrong this felt and how incredibly empty I felt without Adan there.

“I’m sorry Scott, nothing is going on.”

“Nothing? You call being out with another guy in the middle of night nothing?” He was waving his hands around and his voice was getting louder.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t entirely nothing
.

“How did you even end up with him tonight?”

I didn’t know how to answer his questions that wouldn’t further piss him off, but I knew I couldn’t just stare at him either.

“He came to the book store when I was closing.”

“He knows where you work?!

“It’s not like my job is top secret Scott, yes he knows where I work. I ran into him before work.”

“What is he seeking you out now?”

“I was walking through town before work, it’s not like he was waiting in the shadows.”

That I know of
, but I kept that part to myself.

Scott made a sound that said he didn’t exactly believe that.

I thought of something then. “I introduced him to Elli and the girls.” I blurted. “He seemed to hit it off with Jasmine.” Just saying the words left a sour taste in my mouth and I swallowed trying to get rid of the feeling. I hoped that would be enough to put his mind at ease.

“What have you guys been doing all night? Why didn’t you answer any of my calls? Or Andres?”

I sighed; it didn’t seem to work as I had hoped. I knew I owed Scott all the answers he wanted and more, but I was starting to feel the fatigue sinking in again and I didn’t feel like being grilled anymore.

“When you didn’t show up tonight, we went to get something to eat-“

His eye nearly bugged out of his head and his hands balled into fists. I glanced down at the muscled twitching throughout his body and for a moment felt a little bit of fear, but it was quickly pushed aside. I had never seen Scott this angry before, but I was positive he wouldn’t hurt me.

“You went out with him?”

“Calm down Scott.” I said watching the fingers curl and uncurl into a fist over again. He looked down at his hands too and loosened his fingers. “I did not go out with him.” I said when he finally seemed to simmer down. “We just went as friends.”

“Right.” He scoffed. “Friends. I thought I asked you to stay away from him Sara?”

“And I told you, you could trust me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

I was stunned and my face showed it. “Of course Scott!”

“Do you still love me Sara?”

I felt a tiny piece of my heart break at his question and how sad he looked. What was I doing? For not wanting to hurt him, I was sure doing a bad freakin job at it. Did I love him? Yes, but was I
in
love with him? Or a better question, had I ever been in love with him?

“Yes Scott.”

That wasn’t exactly a lie, but my hesitant answer didn’t seem to reassure him and he still looked hurt.

“He likes you Sara. You can’t tell me that you don’t see it.”

No I couldn’t.

“I guess I just need to know: do you like him or do you want to be with me?”

Turning off the car, I sat there feeling completely depleted.

My life was a mess and I didn’t have a single clue as to how to clean it up anymore. I had a choice to make and neither one of them was going to have a happily ever after outcome.

I had been thrown twice tonight: first with Adan’s goodbye and then with Scott’s parting question. A question I had left unanswered for now. Not that he really gave me a chance to answer right then and there. I had a feeling that it made him feel more in control of the situation to give me a day to think it over. If I was going to end things with him, he would rather it be on his terms and not after finding out I had spent the entire night with someone else.

After his bomb of a question, he had apologized for getting so angry and treating me the way he did. Yes, he twisted the good guy knife. I knew it wasn’t an act and that he felt genuinely sorry and that made what I had done even worse. I had hurt him and he had every right to lash out at me - anger I could handle. What I couldn’t handle was him feeling sorry for it.

He had pulled me close and kissed my forehead softly –I could still feel the gentle squeeze on the back of my neck when he had finally let me go. He told he would come see me at work the next day and to drive home safe. Once I had gotten in the car, he shut the door behind me and I watched him stand in the street until I couldn’t see him anymore.

Sitting here now
,
I didn’t know what I was going to do or how I was going to answer Scott’s question tomorrow. What I did know was that I still had one more fight for the night waiting for me inside and I had saved all of my pent up confusion, frustration and exhaustion over everything that had happened tonight for this one.

Until I was told otherwise, I was going to continue to blame Andres for the mess I currently called my life.