Flutter (The Discover Series) (53 page)

             
“I never wanted to hurt you. I hope you know that.”

             
He smiled at me, but it wasn’t a
real
smile. “I know, and I don’t want to hurt you either. That’s why I’m going to take it like a man.”

             
I laughed and looked down at my hands that were still twisting away. “I’m not sure I deserve that.” I said, but wished I hadn’t.

I didn’t want him to reassure me, and knowing Scott that’s exactly what he was going to do.

             
“You tried, Sara. At least you tried.”

             
I could feel the tears coming, and the sensation stung my nose. “Thank you for my party.”

             
“You’re welcome.” He said.

             
I took the last few steps until I was standing in front of him. “I know this might be selfish of me to ask, but…can I give you a hug?” I whispered.

             
Again his smile was empty. “I was hoping you would ask.”

             
The tears fell before I had the chance to take the one step I needed to close the distance between us. I reached up on my tip toes and slipped my arms around him. Fists closed, my arms overlapped each other and rested behind his neck. His arms were around my waist and he pulled me up hard against him, almost crushing me with the strength of his hug, but I didn’t protest. This would be the last time I hugged Scott, for a while anyway, and I wanted to enjoy it. The tears continued to fall, soaking into the fibers of his shirt, but he didn’t say anything.

             
His grip on me finally loosened, and we both pulled away from each other while I wiped at my eyes and sniffled. When I looked up at him, his eyes looked red too, but he wasn’t crying.

             
“Are you sure you don’t need me to take you home?” He asked quietly.

             
“No Eli will.”  He asked one more time.

I didn’t want him to think I was going to run straight into Adan’s arms minutes after we had broken up. That would be a major slap in the face on my part, and he definitely deserved way better then that. He took a deep breath and nodded, looking at me one last time.

“Okay then, well, I’m going to get back inside.”

He pointed over his shoulder - in the direction of the party - with his thumb, and I don’t know why I was surprised to find that life was still continuing even through our break up.

“Okay. Goodnight.”

He went to turn to go inside, but stopped, thinking for a moment before turning back
toward
me. I didn’t know what he was doing, and I wasn’t expecting it, so when he leaned over to press his lips against mine, I made a sound of surprise. His hands came up and cupped my chin between his palms, pulling me closer to him. He didn’t try to deepen the kiss, we just stood there for a few more seconds with our lips together.

When he lifted his head, I opened my eyes and smiled at him, and he returned it.

“Sorry,” he said, “but I couldn’t walk away without getting to do that one last time.”

“It’s okay.” I told him.

“I’m really going to miss you, ya know?”

“Just because we’re not together like that anymore doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I know that sounds like a cliché, but in our case it’s true.”

“Maybe not at first, but someday, I would really like that.”

I nodded. “Me too.”

He dropped his hands from my face. “Bye. For real this time.” He added and laughed, turning away, and just like the others, he was swallowed by the darkness.

I took a deep and shaky breath, I felt numb and I don’t think the realization of what just happened had fully sunk in yet. I expected to be sad, after all I still cared about Scott and I didn’t want to hurt him anymore, but even though I felt somewhat relieved that it was over, the urge to go home and cry lingered on the surface. I just wanted to find Eli to inform her that, 1. She unknowingly was going to be the one to take me home tonight, and 2. I was ready to go home.

The conversation had gone better than I thought.  As far as break up’s go, I thought ours was as good as breaks ups could be. Scott had been understanding and very mature, and I was impressed by that.

I frowned when the chanting coming from inside of the venue penetrated my thoughts, and taking a step closer I tried to decipher exactly what they were repeating over and over. Taking another step closer, my eyes grew wide when I finally made out the single word, and I didn’t hesitate a second longer. I rushed inside the room, praying that I was wrong and it just sounded like the same word.

             
What other phrase sounded like
fight, fight, fight?

Eighteen

& I’ll cry if I want too

I had to squeeze my way through the chanting idiots.

             
They had all gathered around in a giant circle, hollering and waving their hands in the air, cheering on the morons who were apparently
fighting,
and I was silently hoping I didn’t know who those
morons
were.  As I finally broke through the crowd, I was horrified to see Scott standing over Adan, who was currently laying on the floor with his hand covering his nose.  It wasn’t bleeding, but it was obvious that Scott had hit him.

             
So much for our mature break up.

             
“What are you guys doing?!” I hissed, coming to stand next to them. “Scott?”

I had to drag my eyes away from Adan because the urge to bend down and make sure he was okay was overwhelming, and I didn’t want to do that in front of Scott and all his friends. Scott was breathing hard and glaring at Adan, he wouldn’t look at me nor did he try and answer my question.

“Just a little bit of a disagreement, Sara.” Adan finally said. “But I think it’s all cleared up now.” He rubbed his nose and got to his feet.

Scott’s posture relaxed, but only by tiny bit. “As cleared up as it can be.” He replied.

I looked around as the crowd started to thin out, and I was extremely annoyed as people waved their hands in our direction, obviously disappointed by the lack of fight they were expecting.

Scott looked at me, not sure what to do next. “I hope you don’t expect me to apologize to him.”

“No, but I also didn’t expect you to
hit
anybody either.” I looked at Adan. “Is it broken?” I asked him.

“I don’t think you can break steel, but you can break bones.” He said, looking over my shoulder at Scott I heard him huff behind me. I narrowed my eyes at Adan, clearly not in the mood for his jokes. “You’re not going to hit me too, are you?” Adan teased. “Because don’t think for one second I won’t make you kiss it afterwards.” I gaped at him and turned
toward
Scott, but I was surprised and relieved to see he wasn’t there anymore.

I felt Adan come up behind me and whisper in my ear. “Don’t worry spitfire, he was gone before I said that.” He said, reassuring me.

I turned back to look at him, and for the first time, I didn’t feel that nagging feeling of guilt for talking to him. It felt amazing.

“Are you-” He stopped as the band started up a new song and the music blared around us, drowning out Adan’s question.

He looked around and then I felt his fingers wrap around my elbow. He pulled me
toward
the exit of the building until we were outside and away from the noise.

“That’s much better.” He said, looking around the empty parking lot, no one was around.

He let go of my arm, putting space between us, and I used the wall of the building to lean up against. Neither one of us said anything for the longest time, but I could tell Adan was anxious, and for whatever reason, it made me feel anxious too.

“Are you going to tell me what happened in there?” I demanded, when I could no longer stand the silence.

“I’m not really sure,” he answered, “I was going to see if you were okay, and before I knew it, I was on the floor.”

“He just hit you? He didn’t say anything to you?”

“Nope. I figure he thought the punch pretty much said it all.”

“I can’t believe he hit you.”

“Now before you go being all impressed by you’re boyfriend’s right hook, I think you should know I let him hit me.” I believed him.

“He isn’t my boyfriend anymore.” I told him quietly, and he just looked at me and then nodded.

“Well that explains the fist to my nose. Which I’m pretty sure he broke his hand.”

“What?! Why do you think that?”

I tried to picture the way Scott had looked before he had wondered off. I didn’t remember him holding his hand, but it had been limp at his side and that could have been why he had left without saying a word to me.

“I just know.”

“I should have checked on him.” I said, feeling guilty. If it hadn’t been for me, he wouldn’t have felt the need to hit Adan to begin with.

“I’m sure the last person he wanted to know that his hand was broken is you.”

He was probably right, Scott didn’t like to show weakness, and he especially didn’t like to show it in front of me when we had been dating, which had been twenty minutes ago. I’m sure he really wouldn’t want me to know now that he had broken his hand, and because of Adan no less. Looking at him now, I realized that he didn’t look like he had just been punched in the face. His nose wasn’t swollen or even red! There had been no blood whatsoever, but yet Scott had broken a hand? How was that even possible?

“How is it that you don’t even look like you were just his in the face less then fifteen minutes ago.”

“I told you, you can’t hurt steel.” He said smugly.

“You didn’t even bleed.” I pointed out the obvious. “I just don’t get it.”

He shrugged his shoulders not seeming to be all that concerned about it. “I don’t know. I doubt I could explain it anymore then you can.”

“Why don’t I believe you.”

“So you don’t have a boyfriend anymore?” He changed the subject, trying to seem nonchalant about it as he fiddled with loose gravel on the parking lot ground.

“Like you didn’t already know that. That’s the reason you
let
him hit you.” I said, calling him out.

He was silent for a minute. “Maybe. I may not have been a big fan of Scott’s, but I’m not very proud of what I’ve done. I figured the least I could do is take one for the team.”

Forgetting about the loose rocks, he stepped on to the sidewalk and came to stand directly in front of me. He wasn’t standing too close, but I could still feel the electric crackles as they sizzled off of him, magnetizing toward me like static cling. It was as if my body knew there was nothing holding me from giving into Adan anymore, and it was pulling me to him without any effort from me.

             
“You have a team?” I teased him.

             
“Team Sara and Adan.” He whispered. His eyes became blue flames, and I could see the ribbons of sparks swirling around, stealing my breath from me.

             
“What happened to team Adan and Jasmine?” I asked him, wondering how I could have forgotten who he had arrived here with.

             
Come on Sara, you know that there is nothing going on with Jasmine and I.” He took a step closer and I swear I could see the electric blue lines flowing off of him and reaching out for me.

             
I don’t know how I’m suppose to know that when you show up with her on your arm.” I argued, ignoring the currents.

             
“And that bothered you?”

             
“Yes!” I answered before I had time to think of what he was asking me. “No. Fudge. I don’t know.” I looked at him accusingly. “Was that your plan? Try and get a rise out of me? I know you like to play dirty, but bringing Jasmine?”

             
“No it wasn’t my plan.” He said softly, seeing how upset I was. “I’m not going to lie though, it’s a bonus. Admit it, you care.”

“I guess I didn’t
like
it. She’s not who I would have picked for you anyway.” I tried to back paddle.

             
“Oh really?” His interest suddenly piqued. “I’m curious then, who would
you
pick for me?”

He took another step closer and the ribbons reached further. I could feel the flutter inside my body explode, making my head spin. I used the wall for support, and tried to hide the reaction he was responsible for.

“There are plenty of girls here who are far better than her.  I’m just saying.” I was having a hard time trying to pay attention to this conversation.