Foolish Notions (7 page)

James’s jaw tightened. He moved
to the cabinet, got a glass, and filled it at the sink. “They
have explained the treatment, but I’m not sure if I understand
it all.”

“Would you like me to explain it
to you?” she offered.

“Yes, and please do it in
layman’s terms so I can comprehend what you’re saying.”

“Sure. The chemotherapy drugs
that Marie will be given will travel throughout her body to slow the
growth of cancer cells and, hopefully, kill them. The doctor has
chosen to inject the drugs into the bloodstream through an
intravenous needle that is inserted into a vein.” She fought
the urge to reach for his hand. “Chemotherapy is usually given
in cycles during which you have treatment for a period of time, and
then you have a few weeks to recover before your next treatment. This
is how Marie is going to have her treatments.”

Samantha stopped when she saw the flash
of anger and hint of sadness flicker across his face. She would
explain the rest another time. “I know this is hard on you.”
She tried to offer him a reassuring smile as she slid out of the
chair and walked around to him. “We’re going to get her
through it.”

Setting the glass down, he braced his
arms on the counter; his head was dropped slightly, and his voice was
resigned as he spoke. “Why did this have to happen to her?
She’s always been healthy. I can’t remember her ever
being sick.”

The urge to console him and soothe his
pain shot through her with fierce intensity. James was the strongest
person she knew. Nothing intimidated him. He wasn’t weak in any
sense of the word—physically, mentally, or emotionally—but
his mother’s illness was taking its toll. It hurt her to see
him like this.

Taking a small step toward him, she
reached out her hand and rested it against his cheek. Her fingers
moved over the planes of his face as his eyes dropped closed. The
gentle touch brought back memories, which she attempted to stuff back
into the depths they came from. “You need to be strong for
her,” she whispered reassuringly.

“I’m trying.”

Her hand lingered, her fingers
caressed, and when he opened his eyes and looked at her, the
connection she felt was deep. “I know you are.”

“It’s hard to watch her go
through this. I hate knowing that there’s a disease in her body
that’s—”

“Shh,” Samantha said
softly.

He shook his head. “God, I can’t
even stand to think about it.”

“We’re going to get her
through this. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get her
through this as easily as possible.”

“This is out of your and my
control. Damn, I hate this.” His jaw clenched. “I feel
like I’m looking down an endless tunnel with no goddamn light
in sight.”

She raised her other hand, holding his
face. He was used to being in control and having control of almost
everything that affected him. She knew having that vital attribute
taken away left him extremely vulnerable. And that was one thing he’d
always prided himself on not being. “We just have to be strong
and have faith. We have to put our trust in God.”

He tried not to laugh. “Put my
trust in God? I have little faith in Him right now.” His eyes
followed hers. “He’s the one who is trying to take my
mom. I think I’ll put my faith in something or someone who is
on my side, because God definitely isn’t.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“The hell I don’t,”
he snapped.

“James—”

He covered her hand with his and
fiddled with the silver thumb ring that rested against his jaw. “He
took you from me, too.” A heart-wrenching expression crossed
his face. “Why would He take the two most important things in
my life from me?”

His words came out in the form of a
soft breath against her face, causing her own breaths to come in
small, short gasps.

“I’ve already lost you. I
can’t lose her, too.” He pinched his eyes shut. “I
rather die myself.”

“You’re not going to lose
her.”

“Can you promise me that?”

“You know I can’t.”

He held her face, gently stroking her
hair. “I never thought I’d lose you and look what
happened.”

“I didn’t die.”

“It felt like you did.”

She withdrew her hands and stepped
back.

James reached for her. “Samantha
—”

Samantha held up a hand not only to
avoid contact with him but also to silence him. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

She moved across the room. “Don’t
say anything.”

“Why?”

“Because, I don’t want to
hear anything you have to say.”

“Christ, Samantha, I’ve
waited a year to explain what happened. You never gave me that
chance.” He paused as he tried to control a year’s worth
of frustration and anger. “You left before I could justify
myself.”

“I don’t want to hear any
justification. I didn’t want to hear it then and I sure don’t
want to hear it now.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Not fair?” The words flew
from her mouth in disbelief. “Not fair. How’s this for
not fair? I gave you everything I had, my love, my heart, my soul.
And what did you do with it? You betrayed it all.” The change
in her eyes was sudden and fierce. “I don’t think you
want to talk to me about what’s fair and what’s not.”
Their eyes held for an uncomfortable minute. “Your infidelity
damaged more than just our relationship.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You broke emotional bonds, which
can never be fixed. You tore me in two.”

“Jesus, Samantha.” He was
shaking his head. “I didn’t betray you or anything we
shared. If you knew what really happened, you would understand that.”

“I know what happened, James. I
saw her in your arms.” She blinked back the tears that
instantly formed. There was no way she was going to let him see her
cry. She was finished with crying. She had stopped crying a long time
ago. “You were kissing her, and holding her. I’m not
stupid or blind, so don’t talk to me about understanding. I
understand what happened perfectly.”

“You understand nothing.”

“I don’t want to discuss
this anymore. Me moving in here and taking care of Marie is strictly
professional. My relationship with you is strictly professional. What
happened in the past doesn’t matter. I am here as a nurse and
as a friend to Marie. That’s all.”

“Sam—”

She cut him off. “Do you have a
preference about what room I’ll be staying in?”

He blew out a long breath. “Take
your pick.”

James cradled the hot cup of coffee in
one hand and closed the sliding glass door behind him with the other.
He wandered across the deck toward a table that was shaded by a huge
green umbrella and surrounded by matching chairs and cushions. Beyond
the arrangement of chairs, plants, and flowers there was a built-in
barbecue and a wet bar made of brick that hadn’t been used in
over a year. To his right, there was a covered hot tub that also
hadn’t been used in some time. Surveying his unused amenities,
he realized that he hadn’t done much over the last year but
work. And once his mom had been diagnosed with cancer, every spare
moment thereafter had been dedicated to her.

“Good morning,” Marie said
as she squinted against the bright morning sun. “Isn’t it
just a beautiful day?”

James looked toward the edge of the
deck, where the stairs led down to the beach. He moved to his mom’s
side, resting his hand on the back of her chair. “What are you
doing out here?”

“Enjoying the sun, the breeze,
the water.” She pointed to a chair next to her. “Sit
down, it’s wonderful.”

“Here, hold this.” James
handed her his cup of coffee. “It’ll warm you up.”
He disappeared into the house, and then returned with a blanket. He
shook it out to its full length. Reaching for his coffee, he balanced
it on the railing before he draped the thick material over her and
tucked it around her shoulders.

“What are you doing?” she
asked curiously.

“It’s cool.”

“It’s refreshing,”
she countered as he awkwardly tried to cover her.

“Call it what you will.” He
worked the blanket a little more.

“Don’t be silly, Son. I’m
fine.” She pushed at his hands to illustrate her point. “See,
as snug as a bug in a rug.”

James touched her hand, holding it
tightly in his. “Your hand is cold. Maybe we should go in; the
breeze might be too much for you.” He looked up into the gentle
morning wind rolling off the ocean. It didn’t feel overly cool
to him but he had to consider her condition.

“Stop fussing and sit with me for
a minute.” She gave him a soft smile. “Thank you.”

James pulled a chair next to hers and
sat. It wouldn’t hurt for her to be out for a little while, he
determined. “For what?”

“For calling Samantha, for asking
her to be my nurse.”

“I didn’t ask her to be
your nurse,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Maybe not directly.”

“Not at all.”

“But you got her over here so I
could ask her.” Marie was quiet for a moment. “I wasn’t
sure the deal was still on.”

He looked at her. “What? Couldn’t
overhear much from the top of the stairs?”

“Not really,” she said
sourly.

“I’ll make sure to speak
louder when I’m having a private conversation.”

“I wasn’t sure she was even
in the house until she came in to say good night.”

“Did you think I’d throw
her out?” he said as he took a sip of his coffee.

“No. I raised you better than
that. However, after you demanded that you speak alone with her, I
thought she might run out the door and never look back. You looked a
little unsettled.”

“Unsettled, is that how I
looked?”

“I should have called and told
you she was going to be here.”

She adjusted the blanket. “I
wanted to surprise you.”

“You surprised me all right.”
His tone was gruff and little irritable, too.

“I realize now that that wasn’t
fair. I’m sorry.” She glanced at him. “You’re
not happy about her being my nurse, are you?”

He stared down at his coffee.

“You can tell me how you feel
about this. After all, it’s your house.”

“I want what’s best for
you.” It was the truth, he thought, as he reached for her hand.
“And if you feel Samantha is the best person to help you get
through your treatment then I have no qualms about it. Besides, we
both know she is an excellent nurse.”

“Yes, she is. And you’re
okay with her living with us?”

“We’re all adults.”

“I don’t want you to be
uncomfortable in your own home.”

“I won’t be.”

Marie nodded and then raised her hand.
“Look over there.”

James’s eyes followed the
direction of his mother’s pointed finger. In doing so, he
spotted Samantha several yards from them on the beach. Her hair
tumbled around her face and formed soft tangles in the wind as she
bent over to pick something up. Her left hand rested on her thigh and
held a handful of the red cotton dress she wore. The remaining
material danced around her calves. The hem was slightly wet from the
water. Red toenails peeked through the sand as her fingers rooted
around beside them. She was breathtaking.

As she stood, the morning light
outlined her body and caused warm hues of sunlight to spread through
her hair, growing lighter toward the tips. The rising surge had her
quickly gathering more of her dress into her hand to keep it from
getting wet. The small movement caused a long, golden leg to appear
as the dress inched further upward. His gaze followed the shapely
curve of her calf to the firm contour of her brown-sugar thigh. From
there the lightweight material clung gently to the curve of her
bottom.

James silently groaned as he remembered
all the times he had casually touched, gently kissed, or passionately
loved the areas he was looking at.

“Isn’t she just a vision?”
Marie turned and looked at her son.

“James?”

He blinked. “What?”

“She looks angelic with the ocean
behind her and the wind looking like it could scoop her up and carry
her away.”

His body hardened at his mom’s
words. He had been thinking the exact same thing.

“Do you think she has any idea
that she looks that radiant?”

James simply shook his head.

“I didn’t think so.”
Her gaze moved between James and Samantha. “If she knew the way
the sunlight filtered through her dress revealing her figure I’m
sure she’d be self-conscious of it.”

James silently agreed.

Marie smiled. “I think that
simple fact makes her all the more beautiful.”

He didn’t want to take his eyes
off Samantha, but he tore his gaze away and tossed a stern looked at
his mom when her overly innocent tone registered with him. “What
do you think you’re doing, Mother?”

“Don’t call me Mother. You
only call me Mother when you’re mad.” She gave him a
condescending look. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I also call you Mother,”
he said the word slowly, “when you’ve overstepped your
bounds.”

Her eyes flickered. “I have no
idea what you’re talking about. I was merely pointing out that
she’s very beautiful.”

“Mother—”

“Oh, stop. I’ll mind my own
business,” she promised cordially.

* * * * *

Samantha caught sight of James from the
corner of her eye when he stepped out of the house. She was glad she
had worn her sunglasses so he couldn’t see her gaze. As she
watched him she couldn’t help but notice the power that oozed
from his magnificent body, which was clad in a crisp white shirt and
dark slacks. The stark material stood out against the mute colors of
the house and the beach. It wasn’t just the material that made
the distinction. He would have stood out no matter what he was
dressed in. She watched him as he sat next to his mom, holding her
hand, flashing his disruptive smile, sipping his coffee. She absorbed
the sudden sentiment, reminding herself that she was here as a
professional, before she started toward them.