For Better or Worse (17 page)

After getting the test ready, she closed her eyes. “God …” What did she say to Him? She was too old to have another baby. Thirty-eight, for goodness’ sake. She was going to be a grandma. And yet she was still a woman. And there was still this small, slight, microscopic piece of her that wanted for the result to be positive. To see what Harold’s child would look like. To cuddle her own newborn once more.

“God,” she started again. “You know.”

She took the test. Staring at the result, tears welled in her eyes. How can a woman feel happy and sad, scared and excited? She gripped the side of the bathroom sink. Staring at her reflection, that of a thirty-eight-year-old mother of three daughters and soon-to-be grandma, her heart raced as if it were about to explode. “I’m pregnant.”

After pushing the front door open, Harold tucked the dozen long-stemmed, red roses behind his back. He and Kelly hadn’t been able to make up their Valentine’s date, and though they’d spend this evening at Brittany’s basketball game, he still wanted Kelly to know he longed for alone time with her. His bride of two months stood at the kitchen sink, her back to him. He sneaked up behind her and wrapped his free arm around her waist. She jumped and turned, but once recognition dawned in her gaze, Harold pressed his lips against hers.

“Harold,” she whispered into his lips, and Harold longed to pull her closer.

Instead, he revealed the roses and handed them to Kelly. “We were never able to celebrate Valentine’s Day properly.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you, Kelly.”

Kelly took the flowers from his hands and stared at them. Tears pooled in her eyes, and Harold brushed them away with his fingertips. She gazed up at him, and Harold expected her to thank him for the flowers, to declare she loved them, that he was wonderful for remembering red roses were her favorite. Instead, sadness lingered in her gaze. She seemed to hide herself behind a new wall that she built between them. But for what reason now?

They seemed to be settling into a routine as a family. Zoey, though still a pregnant teenager, had recommitted herself to God and seemed to be handling things well. Brittany and Candy thrived in school and in their activities. He couldn’t think of a single reason for Kelly to shut him out.
Unless she just wishes she hadn’t married me to begin with
.

He shook his head. He wouldn’t allow his thoughts to go there. Quite frankly, it didn’t matter if she did feel that way. He’d made a commitment before God, family, and friends. He vowed to love, honor, and cherish her in the good times and in the bad times, for better or for worse, and she’d simply have to learn to love him again. No turning back. The two were one flesh.

Unable to get a good grip on the frustration he felt, Harold strode down the hall. He looked in Candy’s room. “Are you going to Brittany’s game tonight?”

Candy looked up at him and frowned. He knew his tone was too terse. She hadn’t done anything to upset him. “No. I have a project due tomorrow. I’m staying home with Zoey.”

Harold should have asked her about it, but he still felt such aggravation toward Kelly that he simply nodded and made his way to Brittany’s room. He knocked on the door. “It’s time to go.”

“Okay. I’ll grab my stuff. You get Mom.”

He strode into their bedroom and saw Kelly sitting on the bed. Red rims circled her eyes. “Harold …”

Harold didn’t want to hear. He was tired of all the emotions, of all the crying and whimpering. Things didn’t have to be as hard as his four women were always making them. He’d brought Kelly flowers. She had no reason to cry and shut him out. And he’d had enough of it. He pulled a few tissues out of the box and tossed them to Kelly. “Here.” His voice was tense, angry, but he couldn’t help it. “Clean up. We’ve got to go.”

Without a backward glance, he stalked out to the car. In his anger, he’d forgotten his coat. He didn’t need it. Frustration warmed him to his core. He started the car and waited for Kelly and Brittany to join him. Soon, they slipped into the car. The ride to the game was silent. Brittany seldom talked before she played, and Harold couldn’t think of anything he could say to Kelly that would be in any way kind. Obviously, Kelly felt the same way.

Once at the game, Harold followed Kelly into the gym. They sat in their usual spot, midway up the stands on the right side. Harold smiled and nodded at the usual parents who joined them in their normal places as well. Within moments, the girls’ team had emerged from the locker room to the shouts and cheers of the hometown fans.

Determined not to think about Kelly, Harold watched Brittany as she warmed up with her team. He felt such pride when his stepdaughter dribbled the ball from one hand to the other with ease. It was something she and he had practiced multiple times over in the driveway the past summer. Kelly’s girls had become like his own children; he could only imagine how much more pride the biological dads of these girls felt.

“Hi, Ms. Smith,” said a tall, African American boy scaling the steps beside them.

Harold looked at Kelly. Her face turned bright crimson as she merely nodded then peered down at her feet. Harold furrowed his eyebrows. That’s not like Kelly. Normally, she smiles, waves, even strikes up conversations with her students. She’d always been the friendliest teacher he’d ever seen when she saw her students in public settings.

Maybe that kid’s a troublemaker
. Harold glanced up the stands at the boy. The guy looked familiar. If Harold’s guess was right, he was the one who worked at their local grocery store. Harold studied the boy a moment longer.
Yeah. That’s
definitely the kid from the grocery. He’s a great kid. Why would Kelly act so funny with him?

Harold peered at his wife. Desperation traced her features. He couldn’t fathom what was wrong with her. He touched her leg. She jumped. He frowned. “Kelly, what is wrong?”

“Nothing.” The word came out loud and a note higher than she usually talked. “I’ve just got to go to the bathroom.” She stood, and Harold watched as she walked down the steps then out of the gym.

Harold sighed.
God, I have no idea what is going on with her
. He propped his feet on the row in front him then leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. He rested his chin on his fists.
I’m just going to focus on the game
.

He gazed up at the scoreboard. The game would start in less than two minutes. Brittany and her team had huddled around their coach by the bench. Harold couldn’t help but chuckle at how much taller Brittany, a freshman, was than the rest of her teammates. Though still one of the weaker players, due to being thin and not fully matured, Brittany started as the center for the team. Brittany’s dribbling skills warranted her a position as a guard, but the team’s desperate need for a strong center won out, and Harold found himself trying to help his fifteen-year-old stepdaughter beef up in weight and strength.

With only seconds left on the clock before the game started, Kelly made her way back up the steps and sat beside Harold. Too frustrated to talk to her, Harold didn’t ask if everything was all right. She wouldn’t have told him anyway. The woman had spent more time shutting him out in the two months of their marriage than she’d spent opening up to him in the year they dated. This should be the most exciting time of their marriage, and yet Harold found himself growing more confused and flustered by his new wife.

Harold clapped while the other team was announced and stood and cheered when it was Brittany’s team’s turn. The teams lined up on the floor, and Harold howled when Brittany got the tip-off. He watched the game intently, no longer thinking about Kelly and her odd reactions of late.

“Hi, Mrs. Smith.”

Harold looked over at the aisle. Two girls stood beside Kelly. The one talking smiled like a Cheshire cat. “Jerome told us he saw you at the grocery.”

Kelly’s face blanched, and she shifted in her seat. “Hello, girls.” Kelly gripped her purse strap and twisted it. “I see Jerome at the store all the time.”

Jerome. That’s the boy’s name from the store
. Kelly’s apprehension at talking to the girls stumped Harold. He peered back up the stands at the African American boy who’d spoken to Kelly earlier. He was standing, crossing his hand in front of him and shaking his head. He mouthed the word “no” repeatedly, and if Harold guessed right, it appeared Jerome was looking at the two girls talking to Kelly. Harold looked back at his wife.

“Yeah, but this was a couple of days ago.” The girl’s expression was arrogant and a bit bratty. “He said he had to help you with a price check.”

The blond beside the girl giggled then shifted next to her friend.

“Jerome helps with price checks all the time.” Kelly’s voice had a fearful lilt to it. It almost sounded like panic.

“Yeah, but what did Mr. Smith think about this price check?”

The girl’s tone was sarcastic and disrespectful, and Harold opened his mouth to tell her that it was time for her to go on back to her seat, when Kelly jumped up. “Excuse me, girls.”

She pushed past the girls, nearly raced down the steps, and out of the gym door.

The girl looked at Harold and huffed. “I take it that means you don’t know about her price check.” The girl turned to her friend and shrugged. The blond giggled again and tugged on the mouthy girl to head back up the steps. He heard her mumble to her friend. “Poor guy.”

Harold frowned.
What could possibly be going on with Kelly and some price check? And why would she let that teenage girl talk to her in such a disrespectful way?
In all the time he’d known Kelly he’d never seen her show a moment of weakness in front of one of her students, but tonight she practically ran out the door.

Harold looked up at the teenage girl. He had half a mind to stomp up those steps and tell that child she needed to find her teacher and apologize. He took a long breath. The girl didn’t know him. He didn’t know her. Kelly shouldn’t have let her talk like that. It was almost as if she had something to hide from him.
But why is she always trying to hide things from me, God?

Frustrated, Harold peered back down at the basketball court. He’d missed the last three baskets. He hadn’t even heard the announcer say who’d made the shots. His phone buzzed. He pulled it out of his pocket and opened the text. It was from Kelly. She was going to stay in the car the rest of the game. She doesn’t feel well, Harold grumbled at the last bit of her message.

Tonight, he was tired of her being sick. He was finished with her being secretive and trying to shut him out of her life. Tonight, he was going to watch his stepdaughter play basketball.
If Kelly won’t let me in on what’s going on, she can just wait in the car
.

He clapped as the buzzer sounded signifying the end of the first quarter. “God, I never thought I’d be saying this only two months in, but please, help my marriage.”

It was Monday, and Kelly still hadn’t started her cycle, she’d taken two more pregnancy tests, and they still came back positive.
Thank You, Lord, that I won’t have to face my students today, since they’re out of school and we have professional development
. But then, Kelly would be missing that, as well. She’d have to make up the hours at a later date. Today, she was going to Zoey’s ultrasound appointment. She peered at her reflection in the mirror and mumbled, “It’s going to be a great day. I get to find out the sex of my grandchild and if they’re doing okay.” She clasped her hands in front of her chest. “And I get to make an appointment to find out about my baby.”

Her expression sombered, and she plopped onto the toilet cover. “And I need to tell Harold.”

Her stomach groaned with anxiety at the thought of what he would say. She’d had her tubes tied five years before, she never even considered worrying about getting pregnant. Besides, she was thirty-eight years old, not that she was too old, but when she was the mother of teenagers and about to be a grandmother—Kelly shook her head and sighed. This whole situation was ridiculously overwhelming.

She remembered the way he’d laughed when Sadie had mistakenly guessed that she and Harold were pregnant. He made it abundantly obvious that the last thing he wanted was for the two of them to have a child.

A knock sounded on the bathroom door. “Come on, Kelly.

We don’t want to be late.”

Kelly groaned. And Harold was going with them to the appointment. Ever since he’d taken Zoey shopping for maternity clothes, Zoey wanted Harold to be a part of everything. Kelly couldn’t believe he’d agreed to take the morning off to go to the ultrasound with them. Of course, she’d seen the look of shock and uncertainty that wrapped Harold’s features when Zoey asked him to go. It was apparent he didn’t feel exceptionally comfortable with the idea. But she also knew that Harold wouldn’t say no.

It was one of the things she loved about him.

What’s he going to say when he finds out he and I are going to have a baby? We’ll be raising our child and grandchild at the same time, as if they were cousins. The very idea …
Kelly stood and walked out of the bathroom.
Just don’t think about it right now. One thing at a time
.