For Now (Broken Promises #1) (9 page)

“Al, really. I’m ok. I’m just tired and want to rest. You haven’t slept in your apartment in days… don’t you think you need to get back and at least make sure it’s still standing? Plus, you’ve had a crazy long day too. A good night sleep is what we both need, then you can be back here first thing in the morning.”

I know he’s lying. I know he wants me here but he just doesn’t want me to see him in case he gets sick, but it still pisses me off. I thought we were past this. I thought we were older than this. He should know that it’s going to take more than that to get me out of his apartment tonight. I’m not willing to fight with him over this, but he just needs to understand that I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.

“I’m not leaving. I’ll sleep on the couch if anything, but I’m not going anywhere.” I cross my arms and bring back that stubborn, strong Alexis everyone keeps telling me about and glare at him. I will win this.

“You’re not sleeping on that couch, Al. Seriously. I’m fine. I love you. Go home and get good sleep.”

I don’t say anything, I don’t move… I just stand there. Arms crossed, stern face, and I watch him as he starts to chuckle.

“You’re not going anywhere, are you?’

“Nope.”

“And if I make you leave?”

“I’ll sleep on the other side of your door.”

He sighs and laughs, then says something under his breath. Rubbing his hands through his mussed hair, he shakes his head.

“Alright then. Let’s go to bed.”

I smile and let out a ‘whoop’ of victory. “Thank you,” I say, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him like I feel like I haven’t done in ages. It’s not fair of me, because I know he’s tired, but I need to touch him.

In any way I can.

His kiss deepens and his arms wrap around me, picking me up and letting me wrap my leg around him. I love that about him, that he’s able to pick me up without any hesitation and carry me around like it’s nothing. Savoring the moment as it is, but deep down knowing this isn’t going to be happening for much longer, my lips find his as he turns and walks down the hallway with me effortlessly in his arms.

Walking back to the bedroom, he shuts the door behind us as he walks us to the bed, kissing my neck and grabbing my ass as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“Your turn tonight, babe.”

Lane

She’s looking at me with this gleam in her eyes. I’m tired as fuck but the minute she kissed me it was all over and all I could think about was fucking her. I don’t have a ton of energy, but I can’t
not
fuck her. She’s so fucking beautiful and strong and it’s been too goddamned long since I’ve had her.

“Lay down,” she whispers, immediately helping me down and going for my belt buckle. Her hands swiftly and efficiently remove my clothes and I’m left with nothing while she’s fully dressed.

“That’s not fair, babe.” I reach up and start to take her shirt but she slaps my hands away.

“You said it’s my turn. Lie back and enjoy the show,” she whispers before nipping my bottom lip.

When she stands and starts to slowly sway, her hands go to the hem of her shirt and she slowly pulls it off, revealing a hot pink and black lace bra. Fuck. Then her hands go to her pants and before I know it she’s standing in front of me in matching panties and bra, slipping her hands down the front of her panties and moaning as her fingers push into her. I reach out to help, to touch, to feel… but she pushes me away again laughing and tsk-ing her tongue at me.

“Touch yourself if you want to touch something,” she says, grinning and flicking her gaze to my dick. My hard as fuck dick.

Groaning, I start stroking, watching her moan and huff as she fingers herself. Each stroke I get more and more frustrated that she’s not riding me yet. Every touch from her makes me harder and harder for this beautiful specimen in front of me. She slows and opens her eyes, cheeks flushed with arousal, and smiles as she watches me pump my fist harder and harder. Licking her lips, she crawls on top of me, but instead of sitting on me, her mouth goes for my dick and when she wraps her warm lips around me I about lose my load from her warmth and wetness.

Fuck!

“Al, I need to be inside you,” I gasp as she pops the tip of my dick out of her mouth and smiles up at me.

“I know,” she says, grinning and taking me back into her perfect fucking mouth and practically swallowing me she goes so deep.

Jesus Christ.

As soon as I feel the orgasm start to build I tense, not wanting to blow my load inside her mouth quite yet.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She asks, her hands wrapping around my dick and pumping gently as she lays kisses on the tip. Her eyes are watering from gagging on me and the sight alone makes me want to cum but I don’t. I need to be inside her.

“Get up,” I all but growl at her. If she’s not going to fuck me, I’m going to have to take measures into my own hands.

She giggles, something I’m not used to hearing from her but something I love all too much, and crawls up my body. She tries teasing me, letting my dick feel just how wet she is but not letting me go all the way, but when I flip her over and push into her suddenly, she gasps, then moans as I start fucking her harder than I’ve ever fucked her.

“Shit, Lane,” she groans as my fingers find her clit. I’ve always made soft love to her but when she’s been teasing me like this for so long all I can think about is fucking her brains out and leaving her a puddle of tingling hands and feet. “Ah fuck!” she yells, not even trying to keep quiet this time as I slam into her. Her walls clenching around me, I feel her already starting to come undone and growl, reaching down and grabbing her nipple and pinching.

Hard.

“Jesus Christ!” She bucks her hips up to me, I’m so fucking deep and her clit is rubbing on me with each thrust. Chuckling at her need for release, I pull out and go to my knees as quickly as I can and push one, then two fingers inside her.

Fuck she’s so wet and warm and tight.

“Oh my god, Lane,” she moans. I wrap my lips around her clit and suck and bite until I feel her orgasm starting, then don’t let up until she’s screaming my name. As soon as her release starts, I sit up and slam into her again, pressing on her clit with just enough pressure to continue my release as she rides out her own orgasm on my dick.

“Fuck, baby,” I growl, allowing her to milk me as I release into her. “Shit,” I hiss when her hands come down and grab my dick as I’m pulling out.

“No. Stay,” she whispers. “Jesus Christ, please stay.” She’s breathing heavily and I’m panting and she’s right. I shouldn’t go anywhere. We can clean up later. Right now I need to be right here. So I do as she asks and lay down, arms bracing myself on the sides of her head, and kissing her deeply.

“I love you, Al.”

“I love you just a little bit more, Lane.” I sigh and let her have this small victory, mostly because I’m suddenly too tired to even talk.

And that’s how we fall asleep. Wrapped and twisted in each other’s arms, full of love and tingling limbs.

***

“Mom! He’s sick again!” Tommy yells from the bathroom as I empty my lunch into the toilet for the third time today.

“Oh baby.” She walks in the bathroom and coddles me just like any mom should. Warm towel, popsicle, clean clothes.

She’s the best mom ever. Even when I’m bad she’s not mean to me. She’s awesome.

“Mommy my tummy hurts,” I cry, laying back down on the couch.”

***

Fuuuuuck.

Holy shit.

“Oh god,” I manage, stumbling out of bed.
Oh my fuck.

“Lane?” Her worried voice comes from behind me as I move faster than I’ve ever moved before.

Rushing to the bathroom, I just make it to the toilet before emptying everything out of my stomach. Holy shit. Everything hurts and I can’t get off the fucking floor. What the fuck? This isn’t supposed to happen this fast!

My limbs don’t want to work without hurting, my stomach is rolling and here we go again. Puking has never been my strong suit. I don’t think it’s anyone’s strong suit, but I fucking hate it. After two rounds of getting sick and sweating like I just ran a few miles, I prop myself against the bathroom wall and try to catch my breath. I seriously feel like my stomach is on fire and I can’t get off this floor.

This is it. This is where I’ll be if anyone needs me. Right here,
because I can’t fucking get up.

“You ok in there?” Her voice is a whisper but I hear her. I can’t see her, but she’s out there.

“Where are you?” I manage, my throat raw. “I need some water,” I rasp, hating how I feel so useless right now but not really having enough in me to care or fight it. I just want to lie here and die.

Holy shit
.

“I know.” She appears in the doorway with a glass of water for me and a cool rag, gently smiling that courageous smile.  “Can I help you up?”

I nod, not wanting to use my voice because it hurts too fucking bad, she slowly helps me up and waits as I regain my balance. I can’t believe this is really happening. I felt so good earlier. Refreshed after my nap, the sex was fantastic, I really thought tonight was going to be a good night. Now I’ve puked my guts out and feel like I’m spinning and on fire at the same time. Once I’ve regained balance I take a drink of water, sipping it slowly as Alexis watches me intently.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Lane,” she whispers, her hand coming to my cheek.

I turn away from her because I know I look like shit and she doesn’t need to be touching that close to my mouth right now, but she’s adamant that she wants her hands on me and turns my face back to look at her.

“I love you. You’re fighting this and you’re going to get through it. I believe in you.”

Good thing she does. I’m starting to not believe in myself.

“I love you too,” I manage through an incredibly sore throat. “I’m so weak, babe. Let’s go back to bed.”

Weak, tired, nauseous.

She smiles and silently helps me back to bed, tucking the covers on my side before crawling in on the other side of the bed. She gives me my space, probably thinking that’s what I want, which I do, but I always need to touch her. She grounds me. She makes me feel normal, and everything else I’m feeling right now is anything BUT normal. I need a constant, and that constant is her.

My Al.

“Come here,” I whisper, reaching for her arm in the dark. The bed shifts as she moves over to me, just enough to make my stomach roll again. “Nooo,” I groan, rolling to the other side of the bed and trying to get out before vomiting all over. Barely making it to the bathroom before I start dry heaving, there’s nothing left in me but acid and it burns so fucking bad, but I can’t stop.

“Goddammit,” I mutter, cleaning my face off and splashing some cold water on my arms.

“It’s ok, baby,” she whispers from the doorway.

“I fucking hate this.”

“I know.”

“You don’t need to see all of this, Alexis,” I whisper with a raw throat as she wraps me into a hug.

“I don’t need to. I know that… I want to, Lane. I love you. I’m not leaving you.”

I grumble something about how stubborn she is and she laughs, then we finally head to bed and sleep the rest of the night. Well, she does. Every time I close my eyes the room starts to feel like it’s spinning and I feel like I’m going to vomit… so she sleeps... I lay here, my hand caressing her arm as I think about what I’m going to do with this new life of mine.

I feel like my mood and thoughts have been everywhere lately. I’m sure that’s pretty normal for someone in my situation, but I hate it. One minute I don’t want help, I don’t want to get better, I just want it to all be over… and the next minute I’m trying to fight it and lead as normal a life as I can. I can’t decide if I want help or not. I can’t decide if I am going back for the next treatment or not.

The only thing I can truly say I’m positive about anymore is the fact that I want Alexis. I want her for the rest of my life… whether that’s just a few months or years. She’s the only constant I’m positive, with one hundred percent certainty, that I want. That I know exactly what I want and my mind never waivers.

By morning I’ve probably slept all of an hour total. I just can’t find it in me to sleep. My body is fucking tired as hell, but I feel like shit and can’t close my damn eyes. Alexis starts to stir right as the sun starts to rise and she turns to me, hair mussed from sleep and makeup smudged under her eyes. Even in the morning after a long and rough night she still looks beautiful. Not many girls can pull this off. I’ve been with plenty that don’t take their makeup off before bed and look like a raccoon on coke the next morning. Not my Alexis. My Alexis looks like she was just freshly fucked, which is insanely sexy.

It’s too fucking bad I feel like I’m going to vomit or else I’d take care of her this morning.

“Hey you,” she says, sleepy voice still present as she smiles up at me.

“Hi,” I whisper, pecking a small kiss on her forehead. I need to brush my fucking teeth but she fell asleep on my arm last night and I didn’t want to move.

“How’d you sleep?” she asks, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She’s so goddamned cute and sexy, and I wasn’t even sure that was possible.

“Like shit,” I chuckle. “You?”

“Pretty good. I had a dream you and I had a mansion in Maine. So fucking weird.” She laughs and lays on her back, staring up at the ceiling. “Aren’t dreams nuts? Like… you can sleep for a couple hours and your dream feels like it can last for days and days. It’s insane.”

“I like that you’re dreaming about us,” I say, smiling. “It’s cute.”

And it is. It’s sad as fuck, because she’s dreaming of a future that we may never get, but it’s still cute.

“Yea,” she says, making a sarcastic face before sitting up in bed. “I’m gonna shower, ok? Then we can grab food and see what’s on the agenda for today.”

She leans in and kisses me quickly then is off the bed and out of the room as fast as she can move.