For the Love of His Life (23 page)

He drew in a deep breath and joined her under the covers. He ignored his body’s instinctive reaction, which got easier as the scene progressed. He was so involved with the words he was saying and the feelings of love that he was supposed to be professing, that he forgot about feeling weird. When it came time for him to tell her that he loved her beyond life itself, he pictured Nica’s face and imagined how freeing it would be to actually tell her how he felt. His voice broke a few times, which wasn’t in the script, but Jared kept filming.

They were almost done when the sheet slipped off more than it should have, and suddenly Jared called, “Cut!”

Raul and Kelly turned to him for an explanation.

“Uh, Kelly…what the fuck is that on your hip?” Jared demanded, pointing.

Kelly giggled, “Oops!”

Raul shook his head, “Honey, I told you you’d have to cover that up. Even men didn’t get inked back then like we do now. Women never did.”

Jared’s eyebrows rose before he barked out an order for the make-up person to get over there quickly and cover up the offending skin art. She did and the filming resumed.

After the filming had wrapped for the day, in the early evening, Kelly pulled her robe back on and Raul pulled on the boxer shorts he had tossed off onto the chair he had sat on until he was needed.

“I think we did a great job on that scene, don’t you?” Kelly asked him as they walked together back to their trailers so they could get dressed before they ate.

Raul nodded, “I think so too. I kept imagining that you were my Nica, and I was finally brave enough to tell you how I felt about you.”

“Yeah, I figured that. You know, I’ve seen lots of your movies. I’ve never believed that you were in love with anyone except yourself, even in your clincher scenes. But this time I actually felt the love coming from you! Maybe you had to really experience being in love before you would know how to express it on film.”

Raul smiled, “Thanks. I felt like I was nailing that scene. It felt good.”

Kelly giggled. “As good as nailing me would have felt?”

Raul rolled his eyes. “Puh-leeze, girlie. You’re too young for me. Go on back to the sandbox and look for someone your own age to kick sand into the eyes of, and give him a run for his money.”

Kelly punched his arm lightly. “Okay, gramps. If I don’t see you in the tent soon, I’ll know it’s because you’re taking a nap, to recover from the excitement of the day, right?”

Raul stuck out his tongue at her. She was still giggling as she opened the door and went into her trailer.

As always, now that he was alone, Raul began to obsess over how many minutes it would be until he was going to hold his woman in his arms again.

Two days later Raul was counting the minutes until lunchtime, so he could see Nica again. When Jared called the break, he raced over to the dining tent to see crew members lined up out the door, since everyone was getting used to being well-fed for Friday’s lunch.
Reluctantly he got in line and eventually he was able to see into the tent. To his surprise, it was Jake who was sitting by the pies, cutting them into slices. Once he had his soup, Raul made his way over to demand some answers.

“Hi, Jake. Where’s Veronica?”

Jake looked up and Raul was instantly on guard just from the look in Jake’s eyes. He obviously had no experience with lying and was trying to act casual, but was utterly failing.

“Uh…oh…hi, Raul. Um…she’s…uh…not feeling well. She said to tell you that…uh…she’s going to spend the day in bed and she might not be here to get you tomorrow either, depending on how she feels.”

Alarm bells were going off in his head, but Raul persisted.

“Then can you give me a ride out there when you take the pie pans and soup pots back. Even if you just take me to the resort, I can jog over to her house. It’s not that far.”

“Um…no…I don’t think I can do that…” Jake appeared to be floundering for words and looked around wildly so he didn’t have to look Raul in the eyes.

Jared strode over, “There you are, Raul. We have a problem. That scene we did in the woods didn’t play like I wanted it to. We’re going to have to do it over again tomorrow, when the light is right. And we’re going to spend the rest of today shooting the
teaching Kelly how to ride horseback
scenes. She’s already meeting with the trainer and she’s ready for this. So we still have a long day ahead of us. Eat hearty, because it’s going to be a long time before dinner.”

Abruptly he turned and walked away and out of the tent. Raul stood and watched him then turned back to Jake. But Jake had disappeared.

Raul found an empty chair and sat to eat, but everything tasted like sawdust. Nothing had flavor because he had a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

What’s going on? It’s like her family is putting themselves in between her and me…like I did something wrong. What?

He wracked his brains while he ate, but all he could think of was how passionately they had made love on Sunday night, and how bereft he felt as usual, when Nica dropped him back off on the set on Monday morning. He felt distracted and on-edge all afternoon. More than once, Jared stopped the cameras to correct some mistake he’d made, or to yell at him for not putting the proper emotion or inflection into his words. He was beginning to get angry at the perceived mistreatment and he finally snapped when Jared stopped a scene for the fifth time, to tell him how badly he was screwing it up.

“What the fuck?” Raul said in exasperation. “You just told me to do it that way, now you’re not happy with that either? You’re just looking for something to yell at me for. Are you trying to pick a fight with me? ‘Cause you’re doing a damn good job of it.”

Jared glared at him. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m having second thoughts about your ability to do what I want you to do…”

Suddenly a hush fell over the set. The crew was silent and both men became aware that they were being watched.

Raul bit off his angry retort to say through clenched teeth, “Maybe we should take this outside.”

To his surprise, Jared got up from his chair and began to stomp angrily towards the door. Raul’s eyebrows rose but he followed Jared. They were both panting from exertion by the time Jared stopped, because he kept on walking until he had gotten into the copse of trees near their set, behind the trailers. Suddenly he wheeled on Raul, who almost walked into him.

“What the fuck is your problem, man?” Raul demanded. “Nothing I’m doing today is right to you. Now you’re thinking of firing me? Over what?”

Jared’s hands were clenched into fists at his sides.

“Maybe over what I should have seen coming a long time ago. You were right. I never should have sent you up here. And I certainly never should have asked Ronnie to babysit you when I knew what a whoring pig you are.”

“Whoa! Where’s that coming from?”

Jared’s eyes narrowed. “I’m trying very hard not to hit you right now. So don’t bother trying to deny anything.”

“Deny what? I have no idea what the fuck you’re so pissed off about, but I’m getting plenty pissed off myself! First Veronica isn’t here, then Jake has his lame excuse about how she’s too sick to come out here and probably won’t be here to get me tomorrow. Then you’re on my ass over every little damn thing! What the fuck is going on?”

Jared turned and took a few steps in the other direction, taking deep breaths. He whirled around to spit out, “How did you know about the tattoo? And don’t tell me from pictorials in magazines, because she hasn’t done any…yet.”

Raul’s face reflected his shock, his eyes opened wide. “Fuck!”

“Yeah, that’s just what you did, huh? Couldn’t wait to get back to L.A. before you jumped her ass? How many nights did you control yourself or did you bang her the night you met her?”

Raul stood shock still, speaking in a flat, unemotional tone, “That’s what this is about? Her tattoo? She broke into my trailer the day I met her. When I went in she was naked in my bed, because she had heard from some of my ex-leading ladies that was the only way to get any realism out of me in love scenes, and she’s really hoping this movie makes her a big star. I told her I was in love with someone, so not interested. She put her clothes back on, called me pussy-whipped and laughed at me, then she left. That’s when I saw the tattoo.” He peered closely into Jared’s disbelieving face. “I swear I never touched her until two days ago when we were filming the love scenes.”

“You sure were convincing as all hell…I couldn’t figure out why until you slipped up about the ink. Then I realized why you could act like you really loved her…”

“You’re an idiot,” Raul said clearly and Jared advanced a few steps on him.

“How do you figure that, asshole? I’m not the one who is a cheating pig.”

“I used to be one…or more accurately, I never fucked the same woman twice, so I didn’t have any idea what it felt like to be in love. That’s probably why my love scenes have always been flat. I had no idea how to act, since I had never felt those emotions. Now I have. When I was acting as if I was in love with Kelly, it was Nica I was thinking about. I was imagining how it would feel to actually be able to pour my heart out to her and have her believe me. I’m always afraid she’s sure I’m lying, or acting. And now with this? How will I ever get her to believe me? I told you I was afraid I was the one who would be hurt by this relationship. And now it’s happened.”

“What if I don’t believe you?”

“You’re giving me credit for being able to play the hurt lover without any practice ahead of time? You know how well I can act…do you really think I’m faking this now?”

Jared studied his face. “I’m still not convinced.”

“Then go ask Kelly.”

“She’s an actor too. You and she could have concocted a story that you’d use if you ever got caught.”

Raul tried to laugh, but instead it sounded like a painful sob. “Then there’s no hope for me. Go ahead and fire my ass. There’s no point to me sticking around here when everything I was hoping for will never happen.”

Jared decisively strode past Raul. “Kelly’s with the horse trainer. Let’s just go see what she has to say about this.”

Raul followed Jared slowly, like a puppy dog with his tail between his legs. He was mortified at how close he was to crying, so he tried to keep his face neutral. They walked across the field over to the makeshift paddock that had been erected when the trainer arrived with his horses. Kelly was riding around on a large roan. The trainer barked commands and encouragement at her, but she didn’t look happy.

“Hey, Kelly! I need to talk to you!” Jared called out, loud enough for her to hear him.

She rode the horse over close to where he stood and he nodded at the trainer who quickly joined them to grab the reins of the horse to keep it still.

“I just need her for a few minutes, okay?” Jared said to the trainer, who nodded.

“Oh, thank God!” Kelly spoke dramatically as she was helped down off the horse by the young man. “My ass is killing me! When you told me I was gonna get horseback riding lessons from a real cowboy, I was thrilled! I’ve always loved me some sexy cowboys…I mean, what gal doesn’t? Those long legs, those tight jeans and sexy flannel shirts? The hats?”

The trainer was blushing furiously, trying to hide his embarrassment. He was also trying not to stare at Kelly because when he did, he blushed even more.

“But you never told me he was gonna be a slave-driver! I mean, Jesus Christ! He’s made me ride around the same damn circle over and over again! I never knew my ass could hurt so much! If he was a really nice guy, he’d be offering to rub it for me later, but no such luck!”

Jared rescued the trainer, “Come over here a minute, Kelly. I need to ask you something and it’s kind of important.”

Kelly shrugged. “Okay.”

She followed Jared over to the opposite side of the paddock and Raul trudged behind them. She glanced curiously at him once they stopped, then turned expectantly to Jared.

“There’s no polite way to ask this. Have you had sex with your co-star?”

Kelly shook her head, smiling broadly, “With Raul? The guy who keeps telling me I’m too young to even be in this movie? Haven’t you heard me calling him
Gramps
?”

Jared persisted. “Then how did he know about the tattoo on your hip?”

“He saw it when I broke into his trailer and tried to get him to poke me. See, I’d spoken to Lorelei and Patti, who’d both been his co-stars in movies. They told me he was too emotionally-stunted to be able to act like he was in love with anyone except himself. They told me I had to seduce him in order for him to be even partly believable as a man in love. I really want this movie to be a success, so I was willing to
take one for the team
…especially once I saw how hot and sexy he is in real life! But he said
no
, and I respect that. Any man who can turn down a naked and willing woman in his bed, is a man who’s really in love.” She slapped Raul on the arm “Right, old man?”

He nodded morosely.

“So, are we done here? I think I’m going to make that sexy cowboy feel so guilty that he’ll be begging to come into my trailer to rub my tired ass muscles tonight!” She giggled. “So I might be unable to re-shoot any scenes until after lunch, if you get my meaning.” She winked at Jared, turned to flash a quick smile at Raul and sashayed away from them, heading towards the other end of the paddock.