For the Right Reasons (38 page)

Finally, the day arrived.

I turned over in the bed, looked out the window, and saw an overcast day in always-sunny Santa Barbara. I hadn’t seen Catherine, and the idea that my life was about to change forever started weighing on me. People swirled around me—planners, photographers, friends, people with clipboards and earpieces talking about how it had started raining. Of course. This area had been in a drought for months, but there’s nothing like an outdoor wedding to bring out the rain clouds.

When former Bachelor Jason Mesnick married Molly Malaney, it began to pour about midway through Molly’s vows. The producers had given all the guests clear umbrellas, but the bride and groom got drenched. Jason and Molly handled it with good humor and laughter, and it made the event much more memorable.

I’m not sure whether the producers had learned from that experience or not, but no one seemed worried about the dark skies. Notwithstanding Jason and Molly’s damp affair, I assumed the producers had contingency plans for the possibility of a true storm. That morning, the rain was light and erratic. It was about fifty-five degrees, but that didn’t stop people from jogging along the coast and riding bikes. It hadn’t rained in so long, it seemed as if no one took the threat of rain seriously, as if the locals looked up at the skies and thought,
Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it
.

Their skepticism turned out to be warranted. Nothing ever came of the ominous clouds, and whatever rain had fallen soon was soaked into the dry earth. So after my groomsmen and I went to breakfast, we went onto the front lawn of the resort and tossed the football. A couple of those guys had been on my football teams in high school and college. Throwing the football with them was just like the good old days, except this time we had an audience. Paparazzi lined the edges of the lawn, hoping to get a good shot. We had a blast, tossing the football, joking, and laughing while they took photos.

When I got back to my room, I had the gradual awareness that I was about to become a husband. All the details of the wedding—the cakes, the floral
arrangements on the reception tables, the music—had been taken care of. Honestly, I didn’t care much about those things. The detail I still hadn’t been able to work out in my mind weighed heavily on me as I sat down at the desk in my room with a pen and paper.

Our vows.

Catherine and I had decided to write our own vows, so we could personalize the ceremony with our deeply felt convictions. However, every time I sat down to capture my love for her, I couldn’t quite do it. How do you convey deep feelings without sounding like a Hallmark card? Over the past few weeks, I must’ve sat down twenty times to write them, but the words never came. That morning, after breakfast and football, it all came together.

“From the moment I met you, I wanted more,” I wrote. The words poured out of me until I sat back and smiled.
This is it
.

The clouds meandered out of the skies by the afternoon, and everything was dry by the time guests began arriving. It was still a bit cool, so the producers distributed shawls to keep guests warm during the ceremony.

While the guests began mingling outside, we were all together getting dressed. I couldn’t help but remember all those times Chris Harrison and I were getting dressed for those infernal rose ceremonies. During filming of
The Bachelor
, I remember putting on my suit while trying to fight that sinking feeling in my stomach as I prepared to send someone home. Tonight, I was going to be sending someone home, all right. After this day, Catherine and I would both be going home together. The thought was almost too much to bear.

“What do you think?” I asked. I had on my tuxedo and my diamond cufflinks.

“At least the mirror didn’t break.” My friend Clay laughed.

I was ready. Almost. All my groomsmen gathered around me, laid their hands on me, and prayed. “Father God, we thank you for Sean and this day,” Andrew said. “It’s been a long time coming. We know you’ve guided his path until now. We ask you, keep your hand in their marriage from the start.”

That “long time coming” comment was true. I never moped around wishing I had a soul mate, but when I met Catherine, everything changed. I felt incomplete when I wasn’t with her, and the past fourteen months seemed to take forever.

“All right, it’s time,” Mary Kate said.

I wanted people to know this day wasn’t about me, and it wasn’t even really about Catherine. Before I went to the spot, took the arm of my mother, or went over my vows again, I pulled out my phone and sent one last tweet as the Bachelor.

“Jesus, may your name be known today.”

eighteen

BACHELOR NO MORE

When I saw Catherine at the end of the aisle, the tears began to flow. For months I’d told reporters I was probably going to be the first to cry at the wedding, and I delivered. Though I’m not an emotional person, there’s just something about Catherine. She affects me in a deep way that causes me to choke up when I speak about her. When I saw her in that gorgeous dress, I didn’t stand a chance. I know every groom is supposed to say his bride is stunning, but I couldn’t believe that gorgeous woman was about to become my wife.

At this point, I was expecting to hear the traditional wedding march. But when Catherine started walking, the cellists played their rendition of Michael Jackson’s 1982 tune “Human Nature.”

People in the audience smiled at the unconventional choice, and I was surprised too. During rehearsal, they’d played this pop song as she walked down the aisle. However, I assumed we’d have a more traditional song during the actual wedding. I guess when 2CELLOS play at your wedding, they choose the song! Thankfully, it was beautiful, both Catherine and I liked it, and we were thankful they didn’t select “Thriller.”

When Catherine finally got to the end of the aisle, she hugged her parents and turned to me.

My dad began. “I’m so excited to welcome all of you to this beautiful
evening to celebrate the marriage between my son and the love of his life,” he said. “Sean and Catherine’s journey to find love with each other has been an epic fairy tale on display for the whole world to see. It all began with a simple step from a limousine and spanned many cities, states, and countries, to a beautiful proposal in Thailand, and an elephant ride into the sunset.”

I felt my lip quiver, but I held my emotions under control. As my friends and family looked on, my dad decided to get personal.

“Sean, as far as I’m concerned, you are the best son a father could have. You have such kindness and honesty, and it’s what draws people to you. But most importantly, I have watched you live out your faith in Jesus Christ your whole life—no wavering, no exceptions. And I am so proud of you, son.”

Then he turned his attention to Catherine.

“When I look at you, I smile. You incite happiness everywhere you go. That’s what I remembered about you the first time we met you. You just giggled all the time. Sherry and I are head over heels in love with you, girl—as well as the whole family. We’re blessed that you’re a part of our lives and that we’re a part of your and your family’s lives as well.”

Since this was both a live televised event and a wedding, we had to take commercial breaks. When it came time for that, my dad asked those in attendance to silently pray. Everyone bowed their heads and the cellists played while who-knows-what was being broadcast to the at-home viewers. In person, however, it wasn’t off-putting. It was just a moment for everyone to catch their breath.

“Sean, will you take Catherine to be your wedded wife and to live according to God’s Word in the holy union of marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and to forsake all others as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.”

“Catherine, I would say to you too,” he continued. “The man you love is about to become your husband. He has shown a willingness to leave his home and make a home with you. His love will be your inspiration, and your prayers will always be his strength.

“Do you take Sean to be your husband and to live according to God’s
Word in the holy union of marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and to forsake all others as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” she said.

In addition to these vows, however, Catherine and I had written our own.

“Before I met you, before I even knew you existed, I knew you were coming,” Catherine said. This was when her tears threatened to come, but she was able to hold it together. “I was ready to give my whole heart to someone, and now here you are. The first time I saw you, you were like a light to my bug. I had to find you. You mesmerized me with how brightly you shone. Every time I look up at you, my heart fills with love sprinkles. Every time I kiss you, my whole body feels it. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode from how much I love you. I am completely consumed by you, and tonight we get to become one. I promise to love you until after my heart bursts. I promise to love you after our children are old and gray. I promise to love you after we can’t even remember our own names. I will still know how fully I have loved you. You’re my dream and my reality, my future and my present. My whole heart and my best friend. I thank God for bringing me to you, instilling that light so I could find you. I thank God for bringing you to me and igniting that same light. I can’t wait to shine together and make everybody completely blind. I love you.”

Her vows were loving, a little quirky, and wonderful. And while her words were still circling in my head—
I am like a “light to her bug”?—
my dad asked me to go ahead with the vows I’d written. I took a deep breath and tried to focus.

“From the moment I met you, I wanted more,” I said, squeezing her hands. “I wanted more of your infectious smile, I wanted more of your adorable giggle, and I wanted more of your love. You had me hooked from the beginning, and I didn’t want to let you go. We met in the strangest way you can possibly meet someone. On
The Bachelor
, with an army of people following us around with cameras, but I know that wasn’t by accident.”

Even though I’d sat down twenty times to write these lines, I felt like they’d come together perfectly.

“God says that all things work together for the good of those who love him. I know that we met on
The Bachelor
so that I could fall in love with my best friend. Every day I am encouraged by your love and your selflessness, and as your husband, I promise to always put you first. I promise to be the best father I can be to our children, and I promise to always make you laugh with my silly faces and ridiculous voices. So today, in front of my dad, my family, all of our friends, I want to say that I love you and I’m gonna love you for eternity.”

Clay, my best man, brought up the rings. Instead of pulling out the Neil Lane rings, he pulled out a ring pop. We laughed and Catherine said, “Hey, I want that! I’m hungry.”

After he pulled out the real rings, we slipped them on each other’s fingers and each said, “With this ring, I pledge my love and loyalty to you for the rest of my life in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.”