For the Right Reasons (39 page)

I swallowed hard, realizing that the God who brought us together will also keep us together.

“I’ve got one thing for you to remember for the rest of your life,” my dad said. “Love God the most, and you will love each other more. Are you ready? This is about to happen!”

Everyone laughed, and I somehow kept the tears in.

“By the power vested in me as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the laws of California, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

It wasn’t the first time we kissed on national television, but it was the first time we kissed as husband and wife.

“It is now my privilege and my honor to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs. Sean Lowe!”

The cameras swooped in, the confetti was thrown, and the ceremony was over.

At that point, I was overcome with emotion. As I made my exit, the cameras caught me crying like a baby.

I was a bachelor no more.

EPILOGUE

In all this, there was one moment I’ll never forget.

It was in Thailand, just after the proposal. A few minutes after I got down on one knee, Mary Kate asked Catherine and me to sit down for our ITM.

“Both of us?”

“Yes,” she said, motioning to a couple of chairs situated in front of the camera.

We sat down, holding hands, beaming from ear to ear. It was the first time I’d been interviewed by Mary Kate with another person.

“So,” Mary Kate said with a smile, “how are you both feeling?”

“We’re excited to start our lives together,” I said, squeezing Catherine’s hand.

“I’ve never been happier.” She giggled.

After Catherine finished talking, I was thinking about how fun it was to be interviewed for the first time with her by my side. I was thinking of all the things we’d eventually do together as a couple—grocery shop, work out, teach our kids how to ride bikes. As my mind wandered, a sound tech came up.

“All right, you can unhook your mics now,” he said.

Throughout the entire season—for ten weeks straight—everyone had been mic’ed up. In my case, I wore an elastic belt under my shirt that held the microphone in the back. The sound tech ran the wire up my shirt so the mic was near my mouth. Those little devices picked up everything, so I knew whatever I said could possibly be broadcast to millions of people. For
weeks, I lived with that awareness at all times. I worried I would sneeze too loudly and burst some poor technician’s eardrums. I worried I’d forget to turn off the mic when I went to the bathroom. I worried I’d say something that would be misconstrued.

After Catherine finished talking, the guy just stood there with his hand opened. He noticed I was standing still, seemingly immobilized by the simple request. “Do you, um . . . need help unhooking it?”

“No,” I said, reaching under my shirt and handing him the device.

Wow
, I remember thinking as he walked away.
It’s over
.

When you are the Bachelor, it’s easy to get caught up in the momentum and the glamour of the show. But life isn’t normally televised. Conversations aren’t evaluated by thousands on Twitter. Decisions aren’t questioned by media personalities.

Most of life is lived unhooked. Unplugged. Unnoticed.

But don’t be fooled. Everything that’s really important happens when no one else is paying attention.

When I was on
The Bachelorette
, Emily often described me as “perfect.” But I’m fallen, flawed, and in need of redemption. Thankfully, I had great parents who taught me how to be a good kid and then how to be a man. I’m still learning that.

My on-camera actions were only a reflection of all the years of living “unhooked”—of the moments when my dad pulled me aside as a kid and spanked my backside, when I was building character on the football field in high school, when I was reading my Bible during college, and even when I was learning from embarrassing mistakes after college. That day-in, day-out work of character development is tedious, boring, and just plain hard.

I sometimes failed.

One of the things I’ve seen throughout this process is this: only after I was faithful in the little things did I have the opportunity to be faithful in bigger things. I didn’t show up one day on
The Bachelor
and suddenly have
the chance to show America how to navigate the show with purity, honesty, and fairness.

I did my best to practice integrity every day as I went about my daily life. That meant I honored my parents, treated my girlfriends with respect, politely declined alcoholic drinks at parties before I was twenty-one, and worked hard at everything I tried to accomplish. That meant I cold-called potential insurance clients and tried not to be angry when they hung up on me. My life wasn’t exciting, but it was training ground for how to make the right decisions—even if the decision was as seemingly insignificant as steeling my nerves and answering the call of disappointed, furious investors after I’d lost all their money.

All of these character-building moments happened when no one was watching. I made mistakes. But I repented and changed.

People often tell you to “live your dream.” But I think the better advice is to be faithful. Treat people well, even when you don’t feel like it. Tell the truth, even when it’s complicated. Admit your mistakes, even when they make you look bad. In other words, don’t save your integrity for the big moments. Practice it at all times so you actually have some when the big moments come.

In my case, that big moment was
The Bachelor
, a place where I was able to meet the girl of my dreams. Thankfully, I managed to do it in such a way that allowed both of us to draw closer to God.

Now we’re moving back toward the “unplugged” life.

Since the wedding, Catherine and I have bought a house in Dallas, located near our favorite restaurants and within walking distance of many fun activities. The yard is fenced, so Lola and Ellie have a place to run. We’re so happy to be in Dallas, though I’m not sure where I’ll end up on—I’ll go ahead and say it—my journey.

I heard
Bachelor
fans played a drinking game during my season, in which every time I said the word
journey
, people took a drink. They were making fun of the fact that this is the most overused word in the show.

But I know this. I used to pray as I drove to my job to sell insurance: “God, you know I don’t want to live a normal life. If this is your will—if you
really
want me to sell insurance—I’ll do it. But there has to be more.”

This book ultimately showed where this prayer took me. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “ ‘I know the plans I have for you,’ says the L
ORD
. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’ ”

As I look back at my life over the past few years, I’m thankful.

It definitely was a journey worth taking.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Nancy, I couldn’t have told my story without you, and for that I am so very grateful.

I’d like to thank Katherine Rowley and Kristen Parrish, whose edits made my story so much better.

I appreciate the hard work of the marketing team: Chad Cannon, Katy Boatman, and Tiffany Sawyer.

Thanks to Kristen Vasgaard for the great cover design.

My agent, Stéphanie Abou, whose charming French accent made all our conference calls much more interesting.

Thanks to Matt Kirschner for always seeing opportunities and believing in my potential. Thank you for orchestrating my life.

Of course, I need to express extreme gratitude to all the wonderful people at
The Bachelor
. You made the process so fun—I loved all the conversations and jokes that happened during the hurry-up-and-wait moments. I count you all as friends.

Specifically, Chris Harrison, you make roses and romance look manly.

Elan, your hair inspires me every day.

Martin, I so appreciated our late-night chat.

Cassie, thanks for your friendship.

Alycia, your kindness and love always showed up when I needed it the most.

Mansfield, you have such a servant’s heart.

Bennett, thank you for encouraging me every step of the way.

Mike Fleiss, thanks for taking a chance on me.

Rob Mills, you are the coolest studio exec ever.

And to my family:

Mom, your love has made me the man I am today.

Dad, your pursuit of the Lord inspires me.

Papa, thank you for being the godly patriarch of our family.

Mimi, your humor and love are contagious.

Grandmother, you are the glue that holds our family together.

Shay and Andrew, I’m forever indebted to you.

And, Catherine, thanks for saying yes.

NOTES

1
. Douglas S. Looney, “Futility U Kansas State, Winless Since 1986, Has One Claim to Fame: It Is America’s Most Hapless Team,”
Sports Illustrated
, September 4, 1989, http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/1989/09/04/120464/futility-u-kansas-state-winless-since-1986-has-one-claim-to-fame-it-is-americas-most-hapless-team.

2
. “The Brady 6,”
The Year of the Quarterback
, Vinnie Malhotra, prod., ESPN documentary, aired April 12, 2011.

3
. Author’s best recollection of news article from that day.

4
. Sarah Young,
Jesus Calling
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004), 14.

5
. Sarah Young,
Jesus Calling
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004), 2.

6
. Erykah Badu, “Tyrone,”
Live
, Kedar Records/Universal, 1997.

7
. Allison Corneau,
US Weekly
, “Chris Harrison: New Bachelor Sean Lowe Is ‘So Sincere,’ ” October 30, 2012, http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/chris-harrison-new-bachelor-sean-lowe-is-so-sincere-20123010#ixzz2ApHlZmFU.

8
. 2Cellos.com, Biography, accessed July 7, 2014, http://www.2cellos.com/us/biography.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Sean Lowe
, one of the three finalists on Emily Maynard’s popular season of
The Bachelorette
, later starred in the 2013 season of
The Bachelor
. Credited by the New York Times for “reinvigorating the franchise,” he has been voted America’s favorite Bachelor and is the only one to marry his match from the show. Sean and his bride, Catherine, live in Dallas, Texas, with their two dogs, Ellie and Lola.

Nancy French
is a three-time
New York Times
best-selling author who has written books with former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, Chinese dissident Bob Fu, Iraq war vet and Constitutional lawyer David French, Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson, and Bristol Palin. Read about these—and other books—at
www.NancyFrench.com
and connect with her on Twitter at
@NancyAFrench
.

PHOTOS

Shay and I, Christmas 1984