Authors: Nika Michelle
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #African American, #Urban, #Genre Fiction
Princess stared at me curiously. “What? Ablo caught you? El’s girl walked in? What?”
“No. It’s even worse than that.”
“Well bitch, don’t keep playin’ these guessin’ games. What the hell happened? You getting on my nerves now.”
“The fuckin’ condom broke. That nigga’s sperm is probably swimming inside me right now,” I said.
Princess looked at me and sighed. “When did this happen?”
“A few weeks ago.”
“Bitch, that nigga’s sperm ain’t still swimming after a few weeks. C’mon Yanna. I know you know that,” Princess laughed.
“Fuck you. I could be knocked up, so the shit ain’t funny,” I said angrily.
“What ain’t funny?” Tre asked as he walked into the room fully dressed.
“Oh nothing,” Princess said trying to play it off. She walked over to him and gave him a kiss. They were acting like they hadn’t been under each other all day.
Tre’ pulled away and looked at me like he’d just noticed that I was still there. “Hey Yanna”, he said and sat down on the sofa.
“What’s goin on Tre’? I asked.
“I should be askin’ you, Ablo told me you dumped him. What’s wit that? I thought ya’ll was in love,” Tre’ said turning the TV on.
“Yeah, we broke up. He was cheatin’ on me again. Love ain’t got shit to do wit’ the fact that Ablo can’t seem to keep his dick in his boxers.”
“Right on bitch,” P. said giving me five.
Tre’ looked at us and shook his head. “P. I know that you of all people know that just ‘cause you fuck a person don’t mean you don’t love somebody else, people cheat all the time.”
“That don’t make it right Tre’,” I argued.
“Get over it and move on. Ablo love you. He still a young nigga. He just dipped his spoon a few times, but he wanna settle down wit’ you. Believe me, he for real. He always said he was gonna marry you,” Tre’ said.
“Tre’ I expect for you to defend your boy. I don’t buy that bullshit for one minute,” I said looking at Tre’ and then at Princess. She looked like she was about to explode.
“So you dippin’ your spoon too?” Princess asked Tre’.
Tre’ looked really uncomfortable. He didn’t like to be in the hot seat.
“Can’t stand the heat?” I asked. “It don’t mean you don’t love her.”
“C’mon baby. You know I don’t need to dip my spoon. I got a spoon full right here. I’m satisfied. I’m very satisfied,” he said attempting to rescue himself from further scrutiny.
“Well, who the fuck is Tanya then? Huh? She called your cell phone ‘bout four this morning.”
“You answered my phone?” Tre asked.
I looked at Princess to see if she was serious. I couldn’t tell. She did really look mad.
“Answer me Tre. Who the fuck is Tanya? Don’t make me ask you again.”
“I know plenty of chicks named Tanya, but I ain’t fuckin’ wit’ nobody. Ain’t no bitches been callin’ my phone ‘cause I don’t be talkin’ to or fuckin’ no other woman besides you. If you answered my phone and some bitch named Tanya asked for me then somebody must be playin’ on the damn phone.” He looked sincere, but I didn’t know if Princess believed him.
“You fuckin’ somebody. She probably gave me a fake name. Ain’t nobody goin’ be playin’ on your phone for nothing’ nigga.”
Tre’ was looking like she’d really pissed him off by that time. “I done told you I ain’t cheatin’ on your ass! You the one who fucked all my homeboys when I was locked up. Shit, you probably the one cheatin’ on me.”
“Don’t try and turn the shit around on me! Bitches be callin’ your phone! You ain’t got no reason to be questioning me. All that shit you talkin’ is in the past. Don’t bring up what I did when you was locked up. I did what the fuck I had to do. End of fuckin’ story. You knew about all that before you agreed to be wit’ me again. Save that stupid ass shit you talkin’. Don’t forget that I could bring up some shit from your past nigga. How many times did you cheat on me before you got locked up? How about the fact that you fucked every single bitch I worked wit’ at the strip club. Should I name them? Uh, lemme see…”
“Stop Princess. Okay? Chill. I started this,” I said attempting to break up their argument.
“Fuck this shit! I ain’t gotta stick around and listen to your bullshit!” Tre yelled angrily. He left and slammed the door.
“Bye nigga! Don’t bring your sorry ass the fuck back!” Princess yelled. “Good fuckin’ riddance.”
“What the hell just happened?” I asked. I was confused. One minute they were all over each other and the next they were down each other’s throats. I guess me and Ablo had been the same way.
“He talkin’ all that shit and defendin’ Diablo. I wanted to catch him in some shit.”
“So there ain’t no Tanya?”
“Not that I know of. I just wanted to see if he would tell on hisself,” Princess said like what she’d just done was innocent enough.
“You pitiful Princess. You ain’t even got no proof that the man is cheatin’, but you treatin’ him like he is. You goin’ drive him away wit’ that shit girl. He goin’ end up doin’ it for real.”
“Oh, so is that why Diablo cheated all those times Yanna? Did you accuse him so much that he figured he might as well go ahead and do it? It don’t really matter. The truth is that all men cheat. What makes Tre’ any different than Diablo or any other man out there? His niggas is sorry as hell and so is he.”
“That’s not true Princess. Look at us. We like night and day,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, but you on your way to bein’ how I was.”
“Shit, I ain’t no whore in trainin’.”
“I was the best whore bitch. You ain’t no whore in trainin’ ’cause you a mama in trainin’,” Princess teased.
“You got jokes. Princess this is serious,” I whined.
“Seriously though Yanna. Tre’ got a dick just like any other man. If he ain‘t cheated yet, he will. I know it. Especially wit’ those females out there who just like I used to be. I didn’t give a shit who the nigga girl was. If I wanted him, I got his ass. I ain’t stop ‘til I got a mufucka caught up. I ain’t doubting that Tre will come across a bitch who’ll give him a run for his money. Just like I did. When I met Tre he had a girlfriend. Of course I didn’t care. I had to have his chocolate, fine ass. After a month of teasin’ his ass mercilessly I finally gave him some pussy. Yanna, girl, I put it on his ass. I was very experienced for my age. You know that. He was shocked that somebody so young had sucked and fucked him so good. Next thing I knew the girlfriend was history. Who’s to say that I won’t get back exactly what I put out. I keep thinking about karma and shit,” she shook her head.
“I don’t know Princess. I can’t say what Tre’ do. All I can say is find some kind of evidence first before you just start goin’ off on the man. I always went off on Diablo ‘cause I knew for a fact his sorry ass was cheatin’ on me. You on the other hand don’t know for a fact that Tre’s been unfaithful,” I said.
“You’re right,” Princess sighed and gave me an intense stare. “What you goin’ do?” She asked.
“About what?” I asked. “Oh. I don’t really know yet. I’m waitin’ to see if my period’s gonna come on.”
“A period don’t really mean shit and you know it.”
“I know Princess, but I don’t really wanna talk about that right now. I just had to confide in somebody. I’m about to go. I need some time to think.”
Princess got up and walked me to the door. I left her apartment with a heavy heart. I still loved Diablo, but I had to learn to live without him. He was starting to do me more harm than good. I knew that the last step was to get my things out of his house. I would deal with the rest of my problems later. I pushed the episode with El out of my head. There was no way in hell that I was pregnant. It couldn’t possibly get that bad.
* * *
I pulled up to the house I used to share with Diablo to get the rest of my things. My condo was finally ready and I had just paid the first month’s rent and security deposit. I noticed that the Jag was gone and figured that he was gone. I was glad because I didn’t really want to deal with seeing him. I hadn’t seen him in about a week. I’d heard that he stayed in an apartment in the city during the week and came to the suburbs on the weekends. I wondered if he shared that apartment with another woman.
I parked in the garage and went inside the empty house. I was glad he hadn’t changed the locks. He wouldn’t have changed the locks though, since he wanted me to come back. After packing a few boxes I had a sudden urge to pee really badly. I couldn’t hold it so I hurried to the bathroom in the hallway. I opened the cabinets searching for some toilet paper. I had to squeeze my legs together to keep from pissing myself. I had to find some tissue because I wasn’t with that drip dry shit. That’s when I spotted a pregnancy test in the drawer with my personals. I was curious because my period hadn’t come on when it was supposed to. It was usually right on time. I already had to pee, so I might as well had put it to some use.
I followed the directions that I knew by heart and waited. I couldn’t even look. I didn’t know if I would have the baby if I was. Not knowing whether it was El’s or Diablo’s made the decision easy. There was no I could have it if I was. I had to put my foot in my mouth for being so hard on Maya. I could kind of understand how she must’ve felt.
It was time to take a look. The test was on the back of the toilet and I tiptoed over to it as if my footsteps would change the results. I even prayed on the way. “Lord let it be negative please.” I crossed my fingers and everything. “Shit, two lines. Oh no!” I stumbled out of the bathroom. I’d had sex with Diablo three days before El. I had to let El know and get the money for the abortion. Shit, I had to wait a whole month or so to get one.
“Damn!” I yelled and sat on the sofa. I couldn’t help but cry. I’d gotten myself in some deep shit. I finally perked up because Diablo didn’t even have to know and I could move on with my life. I stood up and decided to finish loading my things into the car. I was putting the last of my boxes into the back seat of my car when the garage door opened. Diablo drove in and parked beside my car.
He got out of the Jag looking fine as usual. “Yanna, I’m surprised to see you,” he smiled liked he was so happy to see me.
“Don’t get too excited. I ain’t stayin’. I just came to get the rest of my shit,” I said nastily.
“Oh, okay.” He looked disappointed. “Well, I guess you really serious then. You really fed up wit’ me huh?” He searched my face for a sign of the love I once declared for him. “You can’t find it in your heart to forgive me? Baby, give me one more chance.”
“Your chances are out Diablo, and so am I.”
Diablo looked at me and opened the door to walk inside the house. Then I remembered the pregnancy test that I had left in the bathroom. I was shocked and forgot to throw it away. I rushed into the house behind him and he headed to the bathroom.
“Damn, I gotta piss,” he said opening the door.
“Ablo, hold up. We need to talk,” I said nervously. I couldn’t let him see that test.
He stopped and grabbed his crotch. “You goin’ have to talk to me while I piss baby. I can’t hold it no more. Why the fuck you wanna talk to me all of a sudden? I thought you said you was leavin’.”
I walked toward him and pulled him away from the doorway of the bathroom. “I really do need to talk to you.”
He pulled away from me and walked into the bathroom. “I’m goin’ piss all over myself fuckin’ wit’ you. So, what’s up baby? What you wanna talk…”
There was silence and then I heard the door open. He hadn’t even peed yet.
“Yo’, come in here,” he said peeking out.
“Look, don’t even worry about it okay. I ain’t goin’ have it.”
“What? Fuck no! Not this time! You havin’ it! Fuck what you talkin’ bout, it’s my baby too!” He yelled.
If only he knew. “How you goin’ stop me?” I asked.
“I’ll tie your ass up to the bed ‘till you too far along to get one. When you do decide you want kids you ain’t goin’ be able to. Stop doin’ that shit to yourself Yanna. If God want it to happen it’s goin’ happen. I want this baby Yanna. You know that. What? You tryin’ to get me back for cheatin’? You wanna punish me? Is that it?” He looked like he wanted to cry.