Forbidden Lessons (13 page)

The smell of paint, the smell of clay. The same clay she had used to mould a figurine shaped like him.
 

She couldn’t stop him even if she had wanted to. His hands were already possessing her.

"It doesn’t take much to get you wet, does it? Was that for him or me?"

She couldn’t believe the effect he had on her. Even being brutal he turned her core to liquid.

He had thrust two fingers inside her, feeling how wet she was, already lubricated enough for him. Removing them, he pushed her down on the table, and replaced them with his full length.

She cried out at the suddenness and the size of him. He didn’t allow her a moment to get used to it.
 

He had never been this forceful before. He drove into her, as hard as he could, again and again, trying to own her, trying to punish her. He gripped her wrists and held her arms above her head so she couldn’t move, couldn’t fight him.

He twisted as he thrust into her, screwing into her as deep as possible. He wanted to hurt her as much as he wanted to bring her over the edge, so she knew that he had command of her, dominion over her body.

And she was lost. Nothing but raw feeling. Her heart ached for him as much as her body throbbed.

"You are mine. Mine, mine," he repeated as he pushed into her.

"Yes!" she cried out to him as her body took over.
 

"Come for me, Laura, come for me now."

She had never orgasmed so hard. She was practically sobbing, clinging to him.
 

Just as it started to happen he climaxed too, enhancing her own sensations. It was the first time they had come together, he usually got her there first.

Then staying inside her he slumped on top of her, and she felt his weight crushing her body. She could only just breathe.

"God, forgive me, forgive me, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you," he said.

She wasn’t sure how long they lay there for, in the near darkness, the hard surface of the art table beneath her and his body above.

Eventually he got up from her and helped her up. He held her to him and stroked her hair. Tenderly.

"It wasn’t what you thought," she said.

"It’s okay, you don’t have to explain."

But she told him anyway. How Jonathan had never been any more than a penpal, that she had been about to let him down, that she no interest in him or any other boys.

"And I took my anger out on you like that. What have I come to, a grown man getting jealous of some schoolboy?" He was truly contrite, hating himself.
 

She tried to make it better. "I felt bad that you misunderstood and I couldn’t explain, but you didn’t hurt me," she said.

"I forced myself on you in anger, I practically raped you."

"You knew - you could tell - I wanted you too. Otherwise you wouldn’t have done."

"Wouldn’t I?"

She looked at his face, the dark, deep shadows under its angles. His hair fell over his brow, he looked haunted with guilt.

She felt anxious. "Do you still…?"

"Love you? Christ yes. I am going out of my mind with what I feel for you. Look what it’s doing to me."

She had meant to ask him if he still wanted to see her, or if he regretted it too much to continue, but his answer was more than she could have hoped for.

* * *

He took a risk and walked back with her towards Michaelmas House, until he needed to take the other path to the groundsman's cottages. He couldn’t bear to let her go alone.

She loved the darkness for giving them cover. It was a starless, moonless night. It had rained earlier and the tarmac still glistened under the street lights.

"I hate leaving you, particularly after the way I treated you."

"I wish I could just come back with you. I could sneak out in the morning."

But it was too much risk.

"Just six more days and we get to spend the whole weekend together. Not that I’ll find it easy waiting," he said.

They stood briefly before their paths diverged.

"This is me wanting to take you in my arms and kiss you and tell you how sorry I am and how much I love you, but not daring to in the remote chance someone can see this far in the dark and is watching us," he said.

"This is me doing the same."

"Sleep well, I will think of you all night."

* * *

Back in the dorm Susie convulsed with laughter when Laura gave them a brief account of what had happened.

"We wondered what had happened to you. Jonathan passed us on the way back in and looked absolutely terrified. From the way he described it we thought it must have been Mr Tyrrell who found you. Too funny that it was Mr Rydell!"

"So did you manage to explain everything to him? Was he mad?" Charlotte asked.

It was written all over Laura’s face though she had intended not to reveal anything.

"Oh my God you fucked him in the art room!" Susie said. "How are we supposed to concentrate the next time we do ceramics?"

She had enjoyed her stolen half hour with Darius, and Charlotte had managed to go further with Julian than with any of her Welsh boys over the summer. She was quite starry-eyed about him.

Margery had been on the edges of the conversation, not saying anything. She felt terribly left out. But she also burned to know if the boy she liked had been there. She screwed up her courage.

"Was Robert there?"

"We didn’t see him. Honestly it’s not you, Margie, I don’t think he really goes after anyone. He’s shy, Darius said."

Susie was lying to save Margery’s feelings. In actual fact Darius had said that he wasn’t interested.
 

The last thing Laura remembered before she fell asleep was that he hadn’t used any protection. Thank God her period was due.

He met her at the station and she ran into his arms. It had been the longest week of her life. They had managed to phone each other once or twice, but it was hard because the phone at Laura’s house was in the living room. It was difficult to get any privacy.

Carrying her bag, he walked her outside to his car.
 

"Your parents don’t suspect anything?"

"No, they were just glad for me that a friend had asked me to stay." Susie was her alibi for the weekend.

Before he started the engine, he turned to her. "So I figured as it was the holiday, there was no point just going back to school. How would you like to go up to London for a couple of days?"

"Really?" She would absolutely love it.

"We can do whatever we want, no sneaking around. See whatever you want to see."

Laura’s first thought was Madame Tussaud’s and a whole host of other tourist sites that she had always wanted to visit. Her family lived so far from London that she had only been there a couple of times. She didn’t want to sound like a child though. "The British Museum?"

"You’d really like to go there? I was thinking more along the lines of the Tower of London or the Zoo. But we can easily visit the Museum if you want. There’s plenty of time."

"Actually I would really like to see Madame Tussaud’s."

He laughed. "Then we’ll do that."

"Where will we stay?"

"I’ll get us a hotel. The Ritz if you like."

She wasn’t sure if he was joking. She also remembered that she had hardly any money with her. Suddenly it all seemed huge, she felt out of her depth. She was familiar with the confines of school, comfortable with its restrictions. But this - a hotel - just the two of them in the city for an entire weekend, was she ready for it? She tried to think like Susie, who would doubtless have demanded the Royal Suite and champagne and made a ball of it.

She stared out of the window. They were already on the motorway.

He picked up on her anxiety. "What’s worrying you?"

"Nothing, it’s just I haven’t really got much money with me."

"Laura, you don’t have to pay for a thing. I earn a wage, you don’t. Nor does that put you under any obligation to me. Of course if you want to feel obligated…" He was joking, but he put his hand on her thigh, and moved it up. "Pity you’re not wearing a skirt, this would be a lot easier."

"You can’t do this here, you’ll crash."

He opened the front of her jeans and pushed his hand down below her underwear, making her squirm in her seat. His fingers found exactly what they sought, and he applied just the right pressure.

"I can’t! Not in broad daylight," she said.

"You can and you will."

God. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. He moved his fingers over her, feeling her increased wetness at his touch.

"I’m not going to stop until you’re there."

He loved making her come, making her lose control from his touch.

"This is only the start. I want you every way tonight, Laura, I want all of you."

She didn’t know exactly what he meant but she knew she could trust him. Her breathing was getting faster, she was almost too sensitive beneath his fingers, but he didn’t relent.

It was such direct stimulation that it didn’t take him long to bring her over the edge. She felt her face flush with heat.

He glanced at her. "You are so beautiful when you’re aroused."

* * *

It was the first time she had stayed in a proper hotel. She wanted to look around at everything, but he threw her on the bed.

"Finally."

Her heart was already racing for him, she needed more than what he had done to her in the car.
 

"After a week without you this will probably be over in seconds, but we have all night," he said.
 

Afterward she lay in his arms, completely and utterly happy. She still found it hard to believe she was with him. He was so good looking, so intelligent, so tall and strong. So adult, compared to boys of her own age. What did he see in her? She wasn’t even one of the glamorous girls at school. There were a couple of sixth form girls who practically looked like models.

Yet he loved her and wanted her.

Laura turned onto her side and looked at his face, leaning on her elbow. He opened his eyes. "What is it?"

She lent over him and kissed his lips. She played with them, nibbling his bottom lip. Then while he lay there she worked her way down his body. Down his neck, past his collarbone. Over the hard, defined planes of his chest. His stomach with the trail of dark hair leading her lower.

She hadn’t ever done what she planned to do, and had no real idea how to do it, but she wanted to make him feel as he made her feel. He was already hard again from her kisses over his body, and she wondered at the size of him. They didn’t cover this in Biology.

She took him in her mouth, kneeling over him. His skin tasted salty but it wasn’t bad. Her hair fell down in a curtain, brushing against his stomach. He pushed it back, wanting to watch her.

Not really knowing what to do except to try and stimulate him as much as she could with her tongue, she moved her head down and tried to take him deeper into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around him and he groaned.

By instinct she got into a kind of rhythm, moving her head, hand, and tongue on him, not really knowing where she was going but aware that she was having more and more effect on him. Then his hips bucked and he pulled her head off him and she watched as he came. She had never seen it before.

"Where did you learn how to do that?"

She was embarrassed to tell him it was the first time she had tried it.

"But how did you know what to do?" he asked.

"Magazines and stuff, you know." Susie had also told her a few things, but she didn’t mention this to him. He knew that the others knew about them, after all she needed their help to be able to see him, but he didn’t know exactly what details she shared.

* * *

The Italian restaurant was crowded due to it being the weekend. The lighting was dim, with candles on each table. They had deliberately chosen somewhere not far from the hotel.

It was a day of firsts: after the hotel, this was the first time Laura had been out with him in public. She had initially felt nervous but he was so easy to be with.

They shared a pizza and got onto the topic of Susie. "We have her to thank for your alibi. It makes me uneasy though, asking one of your school friends to lie," he said.

Laura explained that Susie didn’t care what happened to her.

"She has her future all mapped out. Her uncle’s going to give her a job in his business as soon as she’s eighteen, and she says she’ll get to travel the world."

"They’re in wine aren’t they?"

"Yes. Her parents want her to go to university but she says she can do that later on. Business studies or commerce."

Susie was so clear-sighted about what she wanted. None of the others had nearly such a definite idea of what they planned to do. Margery thought she would probably become a teacher and Charlotte still hoped for something in sport but Laura herself had no idea beyond going to university.

"Oxford or Cambridge?"

"God no, I don’t think so. Only a few people go for that every year."

"You could easily do so, you’re already in all top sets," he said. "What would you do, English?"

"Probably. I wondered about History for a while. If I take them both for A-levels I can decide later on."

The waiter came to top up their wine. Laura didn’t usually drink much alcohol. Unlike many of her friends she had never even been drunk. She was already feeling tired and light headed but took a gamble on one more glass.

"If you do want to do Oxbridge I’ll coach you," he said.
 

"But you did languages."

"It’s no different, it’s all literature. And I’d feel less guilt about taking advantage of you if I was benefitting your education rather than wrecking it."

* * *

Laura’s head was swimming from the wine and she felt woozy from tiredness. She just wanted to fall asleep in bed with him but she knew he wanted her badly. The desire was in his eyes even in the restaurant.

She also knew that she would yield under his touch.
 

Back in the hotel room he soon had her clothes removed and laid her on the bed. He kissed her and caressed her breasts, touched her between her thighs. Her body instantly responded to his hands, she was defenceless against him, kissing him back, loving him, wanting him.