Forever After (28 page)

“I don’t know …”

“You could get a dog.”

She turned to glare at him, then swatted his arm when she saw the mischievous glint in his eye. “Very funny.”

He laughed and patted her knee in a way that made her forgive him.

“Where’s the house?” She turned and looked behind them, wondering if they’d somehow missed it.

But as they rounded a curve in the lane, a flash of white and turquoise glinted through the trees.

“There it is.” Lucas pointed, wrists lopped over the steering wheel.

She followed his line of vision and her heart sank. “It’s … a trailer house.”

“You didn’t know that?”

“No.” Hot tears threatened, but she swallowed them back. “I thought it was a house. A real house.”

He laughed softly. “A mobile home is a real house, Jenna.”

She shook her head. “No. Turn around. Go back.”

He looked at her askance. “You’re not even going to look? It looks to be in pretty good shape. And it’s a double-wide. Those things are a lot bigger inside than they look.”

“No. Go back. I’m not interested.”

He stopped the truck and turned toward her. “Jenna, are you serious? You don’t even want to go check it out? Is it because of what I said about wolves and coyotes? I was kidding. You’ll be perfectly safe out here.
You’re practically
in
town. I’d live out here in a heartbeat! Besides, you’ll never find anything this great for the price.”

She folded her arms across her chest and stared at the property.

“At least take a look,” he coaxed.

She half expected a rottweiler to come racing around the side of the house. Why hadn’t Bryn mentioned that it was a
trailer
house?

She felt a familiar touch on her arm and took a deep breath, preparing to face Luc’s scrutiny.

“What’s wrong, Jenna? There’s something you’re not telling me.”

How could she make him understand? Maybe she was being ridiculous, but she would live in her car on the streets before she’d move into a trailer house again.

The thought stopped her in her tracks. Hadn’t she thought those very words about the homeless shelter that first night she’d fled the Morgans’ home? Did she think she was too good to live in either of those places? She hadn’t been too good to grow up in a trailer.

She dropped her head, completely blank for words to explain everything she was feeling to Lucas. But he deserved an answer. “Luc, I grew up in a trailer house—a turquoise and white trailer house, if you must know.” She gave a humorless laugh that threatened to turn into a sob.

“So?” His tone was far gentler than the word itself.

“So … I don’t want to go back.”

He tapped a staccato rhythm on the steering wheel, and she knew he was praying for the right words, words to reason with her.

When she looked up, he was waiting with a gentle smile. “Listen, sweet woman. I don’t know what your life was like growing up, but whatever that turquoise trailer represents,
this
”—he spread his arms to encompass the property—“is not it. Don’t get the two mixed up.”

“How could I not?”

He shook his head. “For starters you could go look at this place. If it’s awful, fine. At least you gave it a chance.”

She siphoned a breath, feeling unreasonably panicky. But she nodded. “Come with me.”

He gave a little laugh. “Of course. You didn’t think I was going to wait out here, did you?”

“Luc … Don’t tease. This is hard.”

Something changed in his eyes—a softening … pity? But he drew her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Jen. I know it’s not easy for you.”

Now she felt bad for making him feel the need to apologize. She pulled away, hugged the door of the truck, steeling herself. “I’m okay.” She forced a smile. “All right then … let’s go take a look.”

She shivered at the images flooding her mind …

31

J
enna waited for her eyes to adjust to the dim light, suddenly aware that she was clutching Luc’s hand as if she were drowning. Before they’d climbed the rickety steps to the front door, he’d propped his crutches against the side of the trailer.

The trailer smelled stuffy. But in a different way from where she’d grown up. This kitchen carried the smells of old cooking grease, bacon, and garlic—musty smells a good airing would drive away. The room was surprisingly spacious with an eating bar that divided the kitchen and dining room—much like the one in the Vermontez home.

Lucas let her hold his hand—maybe as much to keep his balance as to give her moral support.

“Hey, this is great. Really great, for the price.” He looked around the open floor plan, then sought her gaze. “What do you think?

She looked away, not ready to let him see whatever might be written across her features. Slipping her hand out of his, she led the way down the narrow hallway, peering into a tiny bathroom and next to it, a bedroom that looked as if it would barely hold a double bed.

“This is convenient.”

She turned to see Lucas bracing himself between the two walls of the hallway.

“Wouldn’t even need my crutches here.” He grinned, trying, she knew, to elicit a smile from her.

She didn’t feel like smiling right now.

At the end of the hall was a bedroom almost as large as the guest room at Bryn’s and, beyond that, a full bathroom with a deep whirlpool tub. Okay, so maybe they’d come a long way in designing trailer houses in the last twenty years. Still, the low-hanging ceiling, the feeling that the whole house was rocking and swaying beneath their footsteps … It all brought back too many memories.

And where would she go if there was a hailstorm or a tornado? How many times had her mom awakened her and Becky in the middle of the night to drag them halfway across the trailer court to the cramped cellar in the community building to wait out the storm?

She shivered at the images flooding her mind, coming faster than she could deflect them. No. She couldn’t stay here. Not even one night. She would not go backward.

She sidestepped Luc and headed back down the hall.

“Hey, did you see this?” he called after her.

“I’ve seen enough. I’m not interested.”

She made a beeline for the front door and went straight to the pickup. She climbed in and wrapped her arms around herself. She was still huddled there, staring at nothing, when Lucas finally emerged from the trailer five minutes later.

Watching him navigate the uneven terrain between the front door and the car, she had a sudden sense of what he’d lost in the fire. It moved her—and scared her a little, too.

He went behind the truck and spoke to Sparky, then came around and slid his crutches under the seat. Lucas would carry his disability long after the cast was removed and the doctor gave permission to abandon
the crutches. He would always walk with a limp. If they were … together, his disability would be hers in many ways.

“What took you so long?” she asked, not meaning for the words to come out as sharply as they had.

He looked at her as if she’d just slapped him, and his retort was equally sharp. “I was turning out lights and locking up. What’s the problem?”

She immediately felt repentant. “I’m sorry. I … I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Without responding, he turned the key in the ignition and backed the truck until they came to a wide spot in the lane where he could turn around.

But instead, he stopped and reached across the seat to put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey.” He put the truck in Park and angled his body toward her. “Jenna … It’s me, remember? Your friend?” He brushed her bangs out of her eyes in a way that didn’t feel like “just friends.”

She felt paralyzed. “Would you please talk to me? Jenna?”

But she couldn’t. How could she possibly make him understand everything that was swirling through her head? She couldn’t explain what that trailer represented. That it was everything she’d spent the last decade of her life trying to overcome, trying to put behind her.

She may have lost the status and wealth she’d had with Zach—or the appearance of wealth anyway. But she would not go back to ground zero.

L
ucas sat with his hands at ten and two on the steering wheel, waiting, praying silently for Jenna. He’d never seen her like this. She was actually trembling in the seat beside him. Yet she refused to tell him what was wrong.

He wanted to take her into his arms, to just hold her until she stopped shaking. But he knew from past experience that it wasn’t possible for him to “just” hold Jenna Morgan. And he’d promised her they’d just be friends for now. “How can I help if you won’t talk to me?” he prodded, risking a hand on her shoulder.

“Maybe I don’t want your help.” She slid the little goldfish charm back and forth on the chain at her neck.

“Fine.”

Silence.

He shook his head in frustration and started the truck’s engine. They drove back to his house in silence. This wasn’t going to work. They were too different, wanted different things.

He knew Jenna thought they’d had an open and honest conversation that Christmas afternoon when they’d driven out to the country to talk. But there was too much they
hadn’t
talked about. He hadn’t revealed the biggest of his concerns: Jenna believed in God, but it was a stretch to say they shared the same faith. He’d always felt free to talk about his faith with her, and sometimes it felt as if she was close to understanding what it meant to him. But if there was any possibility of this friendship turning into something more, he needed to be sure where she stood. Dogs might be negotiable in their future, but faith wasn’t.

He couldn’t hold back the sigh that escaped him as they pulled into the driveway at his house. He pulled the truck up close to her car.

She turned to him with a sad smile. “Thanks for going with me, Luc. I’m sorry it was a wasted trip.”

“I’m sorry, too. I’m sure you’ll find … a place that’s just right for you.”

She looked at him as if she was trying to decipher a deeper meaning from his words. He hadn’t intended one, but now that he thought about it …

She opened her door. “I’d better go. I have to work at four.”

“Okay.” He was tired of trying to pull meaningful conversation out
of her. Tired of trying to make their friendship work when he wasn’t sure it was meant to.

He watched her get into her car and waited until she’d backed out of the driveway before he got out and went into the house.

How could one woman have the power to put him on top of the world one minute and in the depths of depression the next?

He felt like he was on a roller coaster.

32

M
a was in the kitchen fixing a sandwich when Lucas came in. She must have come home for lunch when he was out with Jenna.

She looked up from the counter with a cheery smile. “Hey, you. Where have you been?”

Great. He was in no mood to talk. He just wanted to medicate himself with a strong cup of coffee and be left alone.

“I went to look at a house with Jenna.”

“Oh? Did she find something?”

“No.” He deposited his crutches in a corner of the kitchen and went to clean out the coffeemaker from breakfast.

“Is she looking to buy?”

“No. It was a rental.” He drew fresh water and measured coffee into the filter. “Not what she was looking for, though.”

“Oh? What
is
she looking for? I’ll keep my ears open.”

“I don’t know what she’s looking for, Ma.” He felt bad for being short with her. He just didn’t want to talk about Jenna Morgan.

Ma must have gotten the hint because she took her sandwich to the table with a magazine.

He waited for the first cup to brew, then filled a mug and headed down the hall to his room.

“Oh, Luc! I almost forgot.” Ma’s voice stopped him. “You’ve got a letter. It’s with the other mail by the phone.”

He went to flip through the stack of bills and junk mail until he came to a white business envelope addressed to him. The return address was handwritten and contained only a post office box number and zip code, but he recognized the address. It was from the guy at the training center in Tulsa, Wyatt Barnes.