Forever and Always (7 page)

* * *

Sibyl was having trouble getting over her astonishment. Logan had interpreted the contents of Norman's ledgers as though it were something he did every day. He had worked though the books so quickly she could have believed he'd written down the figures himself. Even more amazing, she could understand his explanations. What Norman had always insisted was a complex system that required a long apprenticeship, as well as great intelligence to master, was simply a matter of common sense. Once she knew what the figures were intended to represent, it was like coming on the answer in a flash of understanding.

“The bank doesn't seem to have been doing much business,” Logan told her. “I find that surprising considering the prominence of the building.”

“That was built when this was the only bank,” Sibyl told him. “Norman was so obnoxious people opened a second bank. Nearly everyone went there.”

“Why are all these loans so large?”

“The other bank has limited resources. If anyone wanted to borrow a lot of money, they had to come to Norman.”

“What did he do to lure them back?”

“Nothing.”

He looked at her like she hadn't understood his question. “He must have done something. Any businessman would.”

“You would have to know Norman to understand. He didn't believe it was his fault. If anyone left his bank, it was
their
fault.”

“Well,
you
must certainly attempt to regain their business. There must be lots of things you can do. The first thing we have to do is analyze your competition to learn their strengths and weaknesses. Once we know that, we'll be in a position to attack them.”

Sibyl was feeling very uneasy. “I don't think I'd like that.”

“Why not?”

“The people who own the bank are all related to me.”

“So?”

“I expect it's hard for someone without a family to understand how I feel.”

“I have a family. I just don't know where they are.”

There was such sadness in Logan's voice that Sibyl wanted to reach out and comfort him. She'd often felt she had too much family, had longed for the chance to live her life without having to consider how it would affect people she loved. There had to be a sense of freedom to owe allegiance to no one—no explanations, no excuses.

“You don't know where they went, what happened to them?”

“No.”

She waited for him to explain, but he said nothing. She took that as a sign he didn't want her to pry. “I'll be happy to lend you some of mine. I've got more than enough for both of us.” She was relieved to see him smile.

“I had an adopted family.” His smile vanished. “I'll trade you.”

“I think I'll keep mine even though they think they can run my life better than I can. It can be annoying, but it's a comfort to know they're concerned about me and Kitty.” She smiled. “Though I'm not sure letting her play with Colby's twins is a good idea. Colby is happy to let them run around like two ragamuffins.”

Logan's eyes lit up. “I met all three of them yesterday.” He laughed. “The oldest can't be more than ten years old, yet they wanted to take care of this old man. They insisted I should see the doctor. Kitty even offered to take me there.”

Sibyl knew about the meeting because Kitty had told her about it. She had spent all of supper talking about Logan. She knew Logan's health was none of her business, but she couldn't let such an opening slip by. “I agree with them. Dr. Kessling is an excellent physician.”

Logan's gaze locked on her. “I've consulted the best doctor in Chicago. There is no help for my condition. If my looks upset you, I won't come here again.”

“It's not that,” Sibyl hastened to assure him. “It's just that you're clearly not well, and I don't think seeing the doctor would hurt.”

“There comes a time when the only thing left is to accept what can't be changed.”

Sibyl wanted to say more, but she decided against it. “Where are you staying? I'd hate to see you use all your money paying for lodging. I'd be happy to give you a wage. You've more than earned it.”

“I have a camp up on the Rim,” Logan said. “It's all I need.”

The idea of camping out in the wilderness appalled Sibyl. Memories of the trip by covered wagon from Kentucky still gave her nightmares. A campsite on the Rim was no place for a man as sick as Logan. “You've got to move into town. I know of a number of places you can stay inexpensively.”

“I don't want to move into town. My tent is warm and dry, and I can find plenty of meat by hunting. I like my solitude. It gives me time to think. It also spares people having to look at me and pretend nothing is wrong with my face.” His smile was wintry. “Not like the children. They asked me right off what was wrong.”

“I'm sorry for that.”

“I'm not. I would find it much easier if everyone would acknowledge that I suffer from weak spells and my face looks like it's about to explode. Despite all this, I can take care of myself and prefer to do so without bothering anyone else.”

“It wouldn't be a bother.”

“Of course it would. Let's not pretend otherwise.”

Sibyl felt like a child who had been chastised. “All right. It would be a bother, but I'd rather be bothered than have you living in the woods surrounded by wild animals.” She didn't know how a smile from that face could be endearing, but it was.

“The only wild animals up there are cows that are too lazy to do anything but graze, and deer that do their best to stay far away from me.”

“Jared says there are cougars, wolves, and bears.”

“Probably, but they stay even farther away.”

“You're not going to let me talk you into moving into town, are you?”

“Your appeal was presented very charmingly, and your concern does you credit, but I'm going to resist despite your nearly irresistible smile.”

Sibyl felt herself blush. Norman had never complimented her, and no man who wasn't related to her had dared. She was disconcerted to realize she found his words very agreeable, even that she wished he would say a few more. She attempted to chastise herself for vanity, but it did no good. It felt absolutely wonderful to be told that a man found her charming and nearly irresistible.

“I wish you would reconsider. It worries me to know that you're sleeping in the woods. I wouldn't be able to close my eyes.”

“I sleep better than I ever did when I lived in a house. Who would have expected that?”

He had never said much about his life before he came to Cactus Corner. “What kind of house was it?”

“It was large and quite comfortable, but it never felt as welcoming as my tent.”

Apparently he wasn't going to tell her anything about his past. “Either you had a very strange house, or you have a very unusual tent.”

“I don't think it has anything to do with the house or the tent. I'm sure the difference is in me.”

“How is that?”

“I'm not sure. If I figure it out, I might tell you about it.”

“But you might not.”

He became very serious. “No, I might not.” He seemed to gather himself and put whatever thoughts that were in his head behind him. “We'd better get back to those books. This bank isn't going to run itself.”

Considering how little business they had, there was nothing happening that Cassie and Horace couldn't handle. However, it was clear Logan wasn't going to share any more confidences. She would have to contain her curiosity as best she could. Maybe he would tell her more about himself in the coming days. She couldn't tell his age, but he'd obviously done more than wander around the West. What kind of man could effortlessly unravel the mysteries of bank ledgers yet be so good with a gun and prefer living in a tent in the woods to a large, comfortable house?

She was surprised by the extent of her curiosity, as well as her comfort with a man who was a virtual stranger. It wasn't merely that he'd saved her life or that he was helping her learn how to run the bank. She was interested in
him
, the person behind the swollen face and periodic bouts of weakness. It wasn't just about his illness or where he lived. She wanted to know where he'd lived, what he'd done, the people he had loved, his reasons for coming to Cactus Corner. How old was he? Had his face always looked like this? Where did he learn to understand ledgers? Had he ever been in love? Had anyone loved him? What happened to his family? Had he tried to find them? Did he
want
to find them?

What made him offer to help her? What did he think of her? Did he think she was a helpless female who couldn't do anything without a man looking over her shoulder? Would he get bored and disappear in a few days? Why was she afraid he might disappear? He was a stranger who had no place in her life.

“Are you all right?”

Logan's words startled Sibyl out of her abstraction. “Of course I'm all right. What made you think I wasn't?”

“I spoke to you, but you didn't respond.”

“Sorry. I was thinking.”

“It must have been something really important. I hope they were happy thoughts.”

She couldn't answer that question because she didn't know the answer. “I'm not sure. I guess time will tell.”

“You don't have to go back to work if you're not ready. I can go over the rest of the books and report what I find.”

“Thanks, but I need to go over them with you. That's the only way I'll know what's in all of them. You don't mind, do you? I know I ask a lot of questions.”

“It's your bank. You have the right to ask any questions you want.”

She didn't feel like it was her bank. She could practically feel Norman trapped in his grave howling in protest that she would be brazen enough to enter his office, sit in his chair, believe she could understand how to manage
his
bank. She was a mere woman. She couldn't expect to be able to do the work of a man. Yet that voice in the back of her head made her more determined than ever to learn everything Logan could teach her. Norman would never know that she had succeeded, but she would. And that was all that was important.

She returned Logan's gaze. “I'm ready when you are.”

* * *

Logan was glad his horse knew the way to his camp. He'd been so preoccupied with his own thoughts he could have been headed in the opposite direction and he wouldn't have known it. He badly wanted to know what had occupied Sibyl's thoughts so completely that she hadn't heard him when he spoke to her. Being around her had forced him to realize he didn't know much about women. He'd always been so busy working he hadn't had much time for them. Besides, it hadn't seem important when he expected to marry Bridgette, despite the fact that their fathers—brothers who looked as different as they were unalike in personality—rarely spoke to each other except to argue. He was honest enough to know he didn't love Bridgette—he knew she didn't love him—but he needed a wife, and she was the logical choice. He had to admit she'd endured his lack of attention with a degree of acceptance few women would have been able to equal. He had seen it as a promise that their married life would be without the arguments and stresses he saw in the lives of the men who worked for him. She never entered in the arguments between her father and uncle. She'd said she was happy to leave all business decisions to the men in her family. Logan had thought that was an admirable attitude. Now he wasn't so sure.

He had never met a woman like Sibyl. To be honest, he wasn't sure he looked carefully enough to know what any of the women he'd known were like. He'd lumped them into this anonymous group that was always attached to some man, who gained their identity through that man, who depended on men to make all the decisions in their lives. He'd taken it for granted that all women felt that way.

Sibyl was completely different. She had no intention of leaving the business decisions to anyone. She was determined to learn how to run the bank herself. She wasn't interested in impressing anyone. Nor did she look for approval. He didn't know anything about her family. Did she have a father, brothers, uncles? Logan wondered how the men in her family had reacted to her decision. Did the women in her family agree with her decision, or did they believe she ought to stay home and let—

He heard the dog growling before he saw the man.

“Steve didn't tell me you had a watchdog,” the man said to Logan when he rode up. “He won't let me dismount.”

“He's a stray,” Logan said. “Somebody beat him so badly he could hardly move. I've been feeding him.”

The man laughed easily. “Looks like he's decided
you
belong to
him
. Do you think you could convince him I'm not here to steal anything?”

“I don't know,” Logan said. “This is the first time anybody's come to my camp since he followed me here. Take it easy,” he said to the dog that had planted himself in front of the tent. “I don't know who this man is, but I think he's friendly.”

“I'm Jared Smith, Steve's uncle. You met him a few days ago.”

Jared Smith, who'd been born a Holstock.
He'd been looking forward to meeting the man. He was disappointed he didn't see any similarity, but that didn't mean the man couldn't be his brother. “If you've got time to sit a spell, I'll make some coffee,” Logan offered. “Quiet, dog. Go sit in the woods if you don't like company.”

The moment Jared's foot hit the ground, the dog bared his teeth and growled deep in his throat.

“Stop it!” Logan commanded. “If you're going to stay here, you've got to be polite to company when I'm here. If I'm gone, you can lay into anybody who comes nosing around.”

The dog stopped growling and moved to a spot about a dozen feet from the tent.

“He still doesn't trust me,” Jared said.

“He was hurt real bad when I first saw him. I'm not sure he'll ever trust anyone.”

“He seems to trust you.”

“We have something in common. I'm not in much better condition myself.”

“Steve said you looked sick.”

That was a tactful way to put it. “I've been better. You two don't look much alike,” Logan said to change the subject.

“We're not blood kin. I was adopted.”

His name was Jared Holstock and he was adopted.
If he hadn't come from Texas, Logan could have been certain. But for now he should get on with making the coffee and not try to find connections where there may not be any.

“Of course, I wasn't born in Texas, and my name wasn't Smith.”

Logan hoped Jared didn't notice that he'd almost spilled the coffee. “Where were you born?”

“I don't know, but my name was Holstock. That's one of the reasons I had for coming to see you. My parents died on the Santa Fe Trail. I had two brothers who were also adopted. I found my younger brother Colby right here in Cactus Corner. His name was Kevin, but he goes by Colby Blaine. I have no idea what happened to my older brother. When I heard your name was Holstock, I had to see for myself even though I knew it was only one chance in a million that you were my brother.”

Logan forced himself to say, “I've spent my whole life in Chicago.”

Jared shrugged in disappointment. “I knew it was a long shot, but I had to ask.”

Logan struggled to calm his thundering pulse. “Do you know his name?”

“No. He was adopted and gone before my parents adopted me. If they ever knew, they forgot.”

Logan had no doubt that he'd found his brothers, but despite the joy that surged through him, he told himself to be cautious. He would wait until he met Colby so he could be sure. Even though he didn't intend to reveal his relationship, there was no reason why he shouldn't learn as much about them as possible. It wouldn't be the same as being accepted as a member of the family, but friendship was far more than he could have hoped for.

“I hope you like your coffee strong. My father taught me to drink it hot and black.”

“Is there any other way?”

Logan had often thought about finding his brothers, but he'd never really considered what they'd be like. He'd assumed they'd be like him, but why should they? They were different men raised by different families with very different lives. Consequently, he was surprised and pleased when Jared settled without hesitation on the fallen log Logan had been using.

“You've got a comfortable little camp here,” Jared said. “How long do you plan to stay?”

“I don't know.”

“You're welcome to stay as long as you like. I would appreciate another pair of eyes on my cattle. I can't afford to lose any to cougars.”

“I haven't seen any cats. I expect the dog would keep any from staying around.”

Jared looked at the dog, who was still unhappy about his presence. “Do you know if the calves are safe from him? He looks pretty big.”

“I'm sure they will be, but right now he's too weak to chase anything faster than a three-legged rabbit.”

The coffee had started to boil, so he rifled through his tent for two cups. “I don't have anything but tin,” he told Jared. “Crockery was too heavy for travel.”

“I was in the army,” Jared told him. “I didn't eat off of or drink from anything but tin for seven years.”

“What made you decide to go into ranching in the Arizona Territory?”

Jared blew on his coffee. “My last army posting was Camp Verde, which is about twenty miles upriver. I was raised on a cattle ranch in south Texas, which isn't a lot different from here. So when the Green River Ranch came up for sale, buying it seemed the thing to do. Besides, I was looking for my brothers. My parents went back east, but I figured at least one brother came farther west. It was just luck that I ended up close to Cactus Corner where Colby lives.”

“Did you recognize each other?”

“I was sure when I saw Colby, but he wasn't convinced. He wouldn't even consider it until he got proof after his parents died.”

“Are you close now?” Could brothers who'd spent nearly all of their lives apart regain that closeness? Now that he'd found them—
if
he'd found them—it would be easier just to watch than have his offer of friendship rejected.

“I can't say we're close, but we're good friends. We don't live near each other, but that's not the real reason, either. We're just different people who are busy with our own lives and families. My wife and I own the ranch, and she owns the mercantile in town. Colby transports stuff all over the Territory and as far away as Santa Fe. Still, it's nice to know I've found one brother. I'd hoped to find both, but that was always more of a wish than a possibility.”

Logan wondered how he'd feel if he knew this disfigured stranger was his brother.

“How long ago did you find each other?”

“About two years ago.”

“There's plenty of time to catch up.”

“I don't know. Every time we think about doing something together, one or the other of us is too busy. Other times our children are sick, or our wives have a new baby. It looks like we won't have time until we're old men and can sit around reminiscing while our grown children do all the work.”

If they hadn't managed to build a relationship in two years, how could Logan expect to accomplish anything in just a few months? His father and his uncle had never been able to build a relationship, and they had spent their lives in near daily contact. Logan was a commodities dealer who had bought and sold products without ever seeing what he bought and sold. What would he have to share with a rancher or a teamster, men who spent their lives outdoors and in direct contact with the fruits of their labors?

“I didn't mean to bore you with all this talk about myself,” Jared said. “I just wanted to meet you and tell you that you could stay here as long as you wanted. Do you get into town very often?”

Apparently Sibyl and the others had been able to keep the secret about him shooting the robbers, but he figured it was best if everyone knew he was working with Sibyl. Too much secrecy would only cause problems.

“I plan to go in every day for a while. Mrs. Spencer needed some help understanding her husband's books. I've done a little work in an office, so I offered to do what I could.”

“Is she planning to sell the bank once she figures everything out?”

“I think she's planning to run it herself.”

Jared grinned. “Good. I hope she's successful. That will put her father in his place.”

“Why's that?”

“He has as poor an opinion of Sibyl's ability to understand business as her husband did. He expected Sibyl to hand everything over to him to run or sell as he saw fit. I hope you have more than
a little
experience, though. I hope you're a genius who can turn the bank around. Norman was a good businessman, but he was also an arrogant, interfering snob who managed to alienate just about everybody in town.”

Apparently no one had a good word for Norman Spencer. Why would Sibyl have agreed to marry a man so unlike herself? Surely her father couldn't have forced her down the aisle, and he didn't believe Sibyl would have married him just because he was rich. Norman hadn't been unattractive, but he wasn't so handsome a woman would lose her head over him.

Jared swallowed the last of his coffee and stood. “I'd better be getting back. I hope you're able to help Sibyl. I'd like to see her succeed, but she'll need to find a way to win back some of the customers Norman drove away.”

“She wants to succeed, but she doesn't want to compete with the other bank.”

“That's because one cousin runs it, and another cousin's husband is the primary investor. Sibyl is very loyal to her family.”

Logan valued loyalty to family, too, but it shouldn't determine how you do business. If his father had been so loyal to his brother that he'd refused to go against him, their company would have been bankrupt years ago. He'd have to help Sibyl understand that. She owed it to herself, her daughter, and her employees.

“Where do you have your accounts?” Logan asked Jared.

Jared grinned sheepishly. “With the competition. Norman was particularly cruel to my wife when her first husband died. That's the main reason the new bank was formed. Neither she nor I would do business with Norman.”

“But Norman is dead, and Sibyl is your wife's cousin, isn't she?”

Jared's gaze narrowed. “What are you getting at?”

“Since both banks are owned by your wife's cousins, wouldn't it be a gesture of goodwill to use both banks equally?”

Jared's features relaxed. “I'd never thought of that.”

“That's not surprising with Norman's death being so recent. But now that you have, I hope you'll consider it.”

Jared favored Logan with a speculative gaze. “I get the feeling you're a very clever man. I hope you're an honest one as well. I'll talk with my wife about your
suggestion
, but I hope you know that everyone in Cactus Corner loves Sibyl. They would be very upset if your efforts to help her were to have any negative effects.”

Logan smiled inwardly. Jared might not have been able to develop the brotherly relationship with Colby he'd hoped for, but he clearly had developed a protective feeling for his own wife's family.

“I know I don't look like an upstanding citizen. I live in a tent in the woods with an abused dog as a companion. I'm not in good health, and no one knows who I am, where I came from, or why I'm here. All I can tell you is that my time is my own. I have nowhere to go and no place to be. I offered my help because Sibyl needs it, but I have no plans to stay here. In fact, I'll be gone before the end of summer.”

“I'm not trying to run you out of town,” Jared said. “Steve likes you, and Sibyl obviously trusts you. And if you've managed to win Cassie's approval, that's good enough for me. She comes across as flighty sometimes, but that woman can smell a bad apple hidden at the bottom of a barrel. I just want you to know that people will be watching you.”

“Good. I'm glad everyone is so concerned about Sibyl. And I hope you'll encourage people to give her bank another chance. They'll get a very different reception.”

“I can't appear to favor one cousin over the other.”

“I wouldn't expect you to do that, but it would help if you'd let it be known that things are going to be very different now.”

“No one doubts that. They're just waiting to see what happens. As much as everybody loves her, they don't know if she can successfully manage the bank.”

“She'll do fine,” Logan said. “You just wait and see.”

“Will she let people know that you're responsible for some of that success?”

“I'm just helping her figure out what everything means. All the decisions will be hers.”

Jared seemed skeptical. “If you're as good as I think you are, she might benefit from your advice.”

“What makes you think I know anything about banking?”

“There's something about you that doesn't fit. You live like a hobo yet you speak with the confidence of a successful man. You've already talked me into thinking about supporting both banks equally. Besides, I trust Sibyl and Cassie's judgment.” He glanced over his shoulder at the dog that was still watching him with unfriendly eyes. “On top of all that, you've got a dog with plenty of reasons not to trust anybody defending your campsite like it's his own. I'd say that speaks well for your character.”

Logan ached to tell Jared they were brothers and that he'd do everything in his power to be worthy of his respect and friendship, but he didn't want to start something he couldn't finish. He would do everything he could to help Sibyl. When they learned after his death who he was, they'd have reason to think well of him without having to deal with his illness and death.

“I'll talk to my wife about your suggestion tonight,” Jared said. “I may be able to let you know tomorrow.”

“Tell Sibyl, not me—but don't let her know I had anything to do with it.”

“Why?”

“I feel more comfortable not taking credit for something she would have thought of once she got over the shock of the robbery and Norman's death.”