CHAPTER 19
Sarah was alarmed when she saw the time on her clock. Her cell phone was ringing and it wasn’t even 6 A.M. Who’d be calling this early? She reached over and looked at her phone. It was Sydney. She flipped it open not sure what to expect.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Lynni.” He sounded calm enough.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Sorry for calling so early. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” In all the years she’d known him, she knew the only times he couldn’t sleep were when he was stressing about something. She sat up and plopped a pillow behind her.
“Nothing’s wrong.” But Sarah knew that tone.
“Sydney, you’re stressing about something. You should know better than to try and hide it from me.”
There was silence on the other end then a sigh. “I can’t stop thinking about you and Angel,” he said. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay coming back here?”
Sarah frowned, it had been over two weeks since she and Angel had made love for the first time. She kept it from Sydney for a while, not wanting to betray Angel by sharing something so intimate with anyone else. But about a week ago she hadn’t been able to keep it to herself anymore.
Angel told her how much he loved her every day now. It was killing her that she couldn’t say it back to him. So, she’d broken down and told Sydney, crying in the process. Ever since, Sydney had been beside himself, skeptical about her being able to come back to Arizona. But she’d been trying her best to convince him that she could and would. There was no way she’d let on that just the thought devastated her.
But she had to go back, no matter how much she wanted to stay now. She just wouldn’t be able to live with herself. How could she tell him she was turning her back on him now because of a guy that she’d known for just four months? Albeit they’d been the best four months of her life, she just couldn’t do it.
She’d never forget the way Sydney cried that awful day she found out she was going to have to move. She’d cried for him almost as much as she’d cried for herself.
“Sydney, I already told you. I can do this. Me and Angel are still gonna be together, even once I move back.”
“Are you sure?” he said. “You two haven’t been apart for even a day since you started going out.”
Sarah squeezed her eyes shut. She knew he was right. It was going to be hard, harder than when she’d left Sydney. Still, she had to do it.
“I’ll be okay, Syd. I made it this long over here and remember how I didn’t think I could?”
“Yeah, you’ve been fine; more than fine, because of him.”
“Well, I’ll have you when I get home to help me through this.”
There was a strange silence for a few long moments. “Lynn, in all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never heard you so happy. I’d hate for you to come back and be miserable.”
“Impossible,” she said. “As long as I have you there for me, I’ll be fine.”
She couldn’t help but let a yawn escape. She was so tired. The lustful stop at the restaurant had lasted much longer than they intended. She got home way after curfew. Luckily, as far as she knew no one had noticed. Everyone was sound asleep when she snuck in.
“You should go back to sleep,” Sydney said. "You sound really tired.”
“I’m okay.” She yawned again.
“No, you’re tired. Go back to bed, we’ll talk later.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” she said. “Stop worrying about it, Syd. Everything will be just like before. It’ll be like I never left.”
After she hung up and went to the restroom. She thought of the day ahead of her. Ever since the night she’d given herself to Angel, and they’d agreed to continue the relationship even after she went back to Arizona, she’d been riddled with guilt. She had to tell Angel the truth about Sydney and she almost had that same night. But she chickened out, not wanting to ruin the night. Sarah shook her head remembering how she’d shamelessly used her mom to change the subject.
Ever since, she’d made one excuse after another to not tell him. But she wouldn’t allow herself the pleasure of telling Angel she loved him, until she came clean and told him the truth. And not being able to say it was killing her.
It was going to be tense, but if he really loved her like he said he did, he’d understand. She fell back asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow again. Being an early bird, it startled her when her phone rang again and she realized she’d slept for almost three more hours. It was Angel this time.
“Hello?”
“Hey, babe, did I wake you?”
“Mmmm.” She stretched her arms out. “Yeah, but it’s nice that it’s your voice I’m hearing.”
“Don’t make that noise, Sarah,” he said. “It’s gonna drive me crazy all day, until I can be with you.”
“All day? Aren’t you picking me up early?”
“No, babe. We’re short staffed today. It’s so bad, me and Sofi got stuck dropping off the morning catering, and then we gotta go back to the restaurant. I won’t be able to pick you up 'til at least seven tonight.”
“Hi, Sarah!” She heard Sofia in the back.
Sarah frowned, upset with herself that she’d slept so late. She could’ve helped them with the catering. “You need me to help in any way?”
“Nah, Eric’s gonna help out. We’re picking him up right now.” His voice got lower.” Besides, I kept you up late enough last night. I want you to rest up for me, for tonight.”
Sarah beamed. Who needed rest? Her entire body felt great. She was ready for him now.
“I hope you’re rested,” she said. “Because I’m ready now.”
“Stop it,” he whispered. “Shit, if I can get off earlier than seven, I’ll call you so be ready.”
“Okay.” She giggled.
“I love you, babe.”
She felt her heart being held hostage, unable to say what she wanted so badly. “Okay, bye.”
That's it
. She absolutely was telling him everything tonight. Sarah dreaded it with every ounce of trepidation in her body, but she had to. She couldn’t go even one more day without telling him how much she loved him.
Deciding that as long as she was coming clean, she’d also let Sydney in on the whole convoluted lie as well. Maybe he’d have some advice on how best to break it to Angel. She tried calling him but it went straight to voicemail. She left a brief message only to say she needed to speak with him and was free of Angel for the day, so he could call her anytime.
The rest of the day was spent doing laundry and going over what she’d say to Angel. There was no backing down this time. She rehearsed it over and over again. Every time she looked at the clock, the knot in her stomach got bigger and heavier. She tried calling Sydney a few more times, but each time was sent to voicemail.
He’ll understand, she kept telling herself. He had to. She’d make him, and once she told him how much she loved him, he’d know he had nothing to worry about.
Sarah was looking through her closet when she heard, “Hey, you,” and jumped, almost losing her balance. She turned and saw Valerie standing there with a smirk. “What’s with you?”
Sarah closed her eyes and put her hand on her chest. “God, I’ve been so nervous all day, I’m a mess.”
“About what?" Valerie walked in and sat down on Sarah’s bed.
Sarah slumped her shoulders. “I’m telling Angel tonight.”
“Telling him what?”
“About Syd.”
Valerie eyes opened wide. “He still doesn’t know?”
Sarah rolled her eyes. Valerie always had a way of making her feel worse, especially about this. “No, but he’ll know tonight for sure. No buts about it. I’m telling him.” She turned back around to look in her closet. “I’m just not sure where to start.”
“Well, expect the worse.”
Sarah spun around and shot her a look. “Gee, thanks. That helps.”
Valerie shrugged. “I’m just saying, he’s gonna be pissed, Sarah. You know he is. Shit, his brother still had the nerve to tell me he didn’t like me talking to Reggie. I’m not even seeing him anymore, and he was never my boyfriend to begin with, but Angel has it bad. And he has a little more right to feel like you’re his,
all
his. He is not gonna be happy about you going back to Sydney, your guy friend.”
“I have to tell him though,” Sarah said.
“Yeah, and you should,” Valerie said. “Have you thought about what you’re gonna say?”
“All freakin day.” Sarah plopped down on her desk chair.
“Maybe you should dress up really nice,” Valerie said. “You know, do yourself up really good, extra sexy. The distraction might make him a little softer, less mad.”
“You think?” Sarah looked at her apprehensively.
“Yeah.” Valerie jumped off the bed. “I have a really hot dress you could borrow. It’ll be a little short on you, but you won’t look slutty. I promise.”
Sarah watched as Valerie ran out the room. She chewed her lip thinking about it. It seemed so silly, but she was willing to try anything that might help.
Valerie came back in holding a black dress. It was low cut in the front and had slits on the side of both legs. It looked like it might be about an inch or two above her knees. Sarah stared at it. “Am I gonna fit in that thing?”
“Try it on.” Valerie shoved it at her and left the room.
Sarah tried it on and it was a perfect fit but a lot tighter than what she normally wore, and a lot more revealing. It really showed off her cleavage. They were supposed to be going to a party on the east side, a bit ritzier than their usual backyard parties. But she had a feeling that after seeing her in this dress, they may not make it there, and instead head back to the restaurant which was just fine with her.
She turned around to get a view from behind in the mirror when Valerie walked back in.
Sarah turned to see her holding her hand over her mouth. “What?”
“Oh, my God, I’m a genius.” Valerie laughed. “I doubt he’ll even hear a word you say. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?”
Sarah glanced back in the mirror. The dress was so unlike her. Angel was going to know something was up the second he saw her. “Is your dad even gonna let me out in this?”
“Ooh, good question.” She said circling Sarah, still sizing her up. “What time is he picking you up?”
“Around seven.”
“Oh, you’re good.” Valerie still had that evil grin on her face. “They’re going to the show and dinner. But they’re cheap, so they like catching the earlier show around five.”
Sarah turned back to the mirror. That ugly feeling in her stomach was back, but dress or not, she was telling him tonight. No matter what.
She started getting ready just after five. Valerie helped her with her hair. Sarah's hair was fairly straight, but Valerie said it straightening even more would make it look extra sleek and super sexy.
Sarah watched Valerie through the bathroom mirror as she concentrated on the flat iron she held in Sarah’s hair. “So, how was it last night with Alex? You two looked pretty chummy.”
Valerie glanced up at the mirror and shrugged. She continued concentrating on Sarah’s hair. “Well, I think he turned his phone off or put it on vibrate. ‘Cause it didn’t go off once last night. I tried to resist him as long as I could but it’s so damn hard. I didn’t sleep with him though. I told him I’m not doing that anymore. So, he asked if it was because of Reggie. I told him no, it’s because it hurts too much. Then he made a stupid joke apologizing for his size. ”
Valerie’s expression was disgusted, but Sarah couldn’t help laughing. Alex was too funny.
“Stop,” Valerie said. “You’re gonna make me burn you.”
Sarah controlled her laughter as best she could and Valerie continued to tell her about the rest of her evening with Alex. Sarah couldn’t help busting up several more times.