Authors: Marissa Dobson
“Couldn’t Blake and Chase do this alone?”
“I need to do this for us. I promise you I’ll be back as quick as I can.”
“What if they capture you? Patrick…I couldn’t lose you, too. Not with Dean out there, and who knows where he is. I haven’t known you that long, and…I’d like to get to know you. I’d rather not lose that chance.”
“I know, angel.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “Nothing will happen. I’ve done this before, and I’ll be back before you know it. We’ll do it at night when only the security guards are on duty. I’ll be back by the time you wake up the next morning.”
“Take me with you.”
“Absolutely not. Your face is all over the news. You will stay here where you’re safe. Austin and Luke will be here to make sure nothing happens to you and Jade.
“Three going, and four staying here. That hardly seems fair. Maybe Austin should go with you. He can put his military skills to use.”
“You worry too much. Austin and I have already gone over the plan of attack. I know what we’re going to do. I’ve got to lead my family through this. Now more than ever.”
She closed her eyes and let out a soft breath. “This is about you being Alpha, isn’t it? Jade mentioned that you needed a mate who would stand by you, not cower behind you.” She doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.”
“Now, you listen here.” He guided her chin up with his index finger. “You’re an amazing woman, full of courage others only dream of having. I don’t know what Jade said, but if she thinks you’re not the woman for me, she doesn’t know you at all.”
“You should have a shifter as a mate, not me.”
“You’re the woman I want.” He smirked. “Do you realize you’re talking like you’ve already made up your mind?”
“Have I?” She shook her head. “I mean, it’s not like I have a choice or anything, do I? In college, I used to read paranormal romance. The human doesn’t get a say. You claim us anyway, and then we’re chained to you for eternity.” Hints of disgust laced her words, saddening him.
“I hate to disappoint you, but that’s not how it works.”
“Don’t lie to me.” She pulled out of his embrace and stepped away from him. “I might not have a choice in this matter, but I refuse to stand here while you lie to me.”
“Clarissa, I’m not lying—”
“Bull crap. I can feel the draw between us. It’s like something magical. But I guess in the end, that’s what you are. You’re a magical being, not some scientific experiment gone wrong.”
“Will you let me explain?” He paused, waiting to see if she would interrupt him again. “You feel the connection like a live wire between us. Sizzling through you, connecting you to me, and when we touch it sparks to full life, filling you. It’s a warm energy without causing you any pain, but it’s always there, keeping you on edge. You feel it, don’t you?” When she nodded, he continued. “That’s the mating link. It will always be there as long as you choose this.”
“Choose?”
“Yes, you have to decide if you’ll accept me as your mate. Until you make that decision, it will stay as it is. If you decide you can’t handle me as your mate, then you’ll no longer feel it.”
“But you will?” She moved to the middle of the library where a sofa and two chairs sat before a large stone fireplace. She lowered herself onto the soft cushions.
“Once you make the decision not to accept me, the connection will fizzle out until there’s nothing left. For me, it will leave a hole, an emptiness, but you’ll be able to move on with your life. Find another man who meets your needs.”
“What about you? Will you be given that same opportunity?”
He couldn’t keep the frown off his face. “This happens so rarely that no one is really sure. Some say that eventually we will find the right person, one who can accept us, and we’ll mate. But others say we would have missed our chance, and that we didn’t try hard enough to convince our first mate.”
“How awful.”
“For me, yes. But for you, either way, you will eventually have a man you can spend the rest of your life with.”
“Which brings me to a whole different question.”
He nodded. “Go ahead. I’ll start a fire.” He went to the fireplace and knelt, collecting wood from the basket they kept and began to build a fire for them.
“The rest of my life…” She shook her head and started again. “What I’m trying to say is, from what I read, your species lives a long time. Longer than any human. Why would you or any shifter ever want to be saddled with a human who’d die before you?”
“I’m assuming you read about our life span in one of Hathaway Medical’s files?” He lit the kindling and waited for it to catch, stoking it to create a nice big fire and warm the cavernous library. “They don’t have all the facts about us.”
“So, you don’t have an extended lifespan?”
He tossed one final log onto the fire that was now fully engulfed, and stood. “No, we do. We can live for hundreds of years.”
“Then why…”
“Why mate with a human if they’ll die long before us?
”
He lowered himself to sit next to her on the sofa and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Once the mating has been completed, our lifelines sync, so we’re able to have many long years with our mates. Before you ask, it doesn’t mean that when one is killed the other will die. It allows humans to age more slowly, to age with us instead of before us.”
“What’s the point of living hundreds of years if you’re old and feeble? I wouldn’t want to become a burden on someone, especially not my children or my family.”
“Unlike humans, we don’t have that problem. Our bodies stay active even as we age, and we go on doing the things we’ve always done. It’s very important to us that we can continue to do things for ourselves, especially Alphas. Once we stop leading our pride, we’re of no use to anyone.”
“Can you ever just step down as Alpha, or is that something you are appointed to for life?”
“To step down is most likely going to get an Alpha killed. Normally, anyone who wishes to take over the pride has to challenge an Alpha and only if the challenger defeats the Alpha will they gain control of the pride.”
“By defeat, you mean…to the death, don’t you?” The uncertainty was clear in her tone, and she seemed to be waiting for him to deny it.
“Yes. No Alpha wants the former leader around. There’d be too much loyalty left over for the previous leader to allow the new one a fair chance.”
She pulled back as if his touch were suddenly poisonous. “You killed someone to gain your position. How could you?” Tears glistened in her eyes. “I didn’t think you were like that.”
“Hold on, Clarissa.” He reached out and took her hand. “That is
not
what I said, I only told you how it normally works. My case is different, and I didn’t kill anyone to become Alpha. Hell, I’m not even sure I wanted this position, I only know I can’t let anyone else lead my family.”
“If it’s so different, then what happened?” she snapped.
“I told you about my family, our house, and lives. There was no one else, and we formed our own pride. We didn’t need anyone else. Our father was Alpha. Mom had been his right hand until her death.” He paused, allowing the memory of those first few days to flow through him. Grief and uncertainty had filled him during that time, like never before. “When she died, I was pushed into her role and my father relied on me more than the others. It prepared me for the position I’m in now.”
“Why don’t you want to be Alpha?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to be, I’m just not sure I’m ready. Dad was the leader of this family. Now I’ve been pushed into the position, and since then I haven’t been able to help Chase get over whatever he saw. He lives in his lion form, and Jade was captured and tortured. I just don’t think I’ve made that good of an Alpha so far.”
She placed her hand on his and squeezed. “I disagree. You got Jade back and everyone is together again. You saved me and tried to help Dean. You’ve done countless other things, but what’s important is everyone is alive and well.”
“I’m not sure about well. Jade still has nightmares, and there are the issues with Chase.”
“You’re dwelling on the negatives.” She turned away from him to look out the window. “I remember Forever Creek Ski Resort. There’s something I didn’t tell you. My father brought Dean and I here the year before it closed. When you mentioned the name, I tried to shut out those memories. He used to come here with his family and was trying to reconnect with us after our mother died. So many years ago, and all this time it’s been empty. You must have had to work hard to make this place livable again.”
“Most of it was cleaning, fixing broken windows, adding new locks, those types of things. Blake was able to install solar power units. Otherwise, we’d have been back in the stone ages without the electric company.” He nodded toward the fireplace. “The solar power works for heating as well, but since there are fireplaces in nearly every room, we tend to use those more.”
“What about the smoke? Can’t people see it?”
“Maybe if they flew over, but we own the place. Well, Dad and I did. Like your father, he used to come here in its glory days. It went on the market some years ago, and Dad didn’t want to see it go to someone who’d only demolish it. We bought it together and planned to remodel it as a family, make it a vacation hideaway. It was several hours away from home, but it would give us all the privacy we wanted to shift and run.”
“You own this place? Wouldn’t it be easy to trace it back to you if they find out you’re a shifter?”
“Luke helped make it harder to trace, putting the property in a company’s name so it appears less suspicious.” He leaned forward and wrapped his arm around her again. “There’s nothing to worry about now. Lean back and enjoy the fire.”
“There’s work to do. I’ve got to remember where those camps are. We can save them.”
“We deserve a little time to ourselves before Nolan gets here. Now, come here. I want my arms around you.” This time, he didn’t give her a chance. He pulled her back against his body.
“Who’s Nolan?”
“A Ranger who served with Austin. He’s the one bringing us samples of LUNA, and he’ll be here tonight. Jade’s planning a special dinner to welcome him, and after that we’ll get to work on breaking down the compound.”
“There’s so much work and so little time to do it in.” She relaxed into his embrace. “But…when I’m in your arms, the worries of the rest of the world seem to slip away. Still, it seems too soon to be saying that.”
“That’s the mating bond. A mate’s touch can ease physical and emotional pain.” He ran his hands through her hair, pushing it away from her face, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Having her in his arms eased his beast’s demands, but it wouldn’t be long before he would feel it gnawing at him again to claim her.
All in sweet time.
With her robe tied loosely shut and her wet hair wrapped in a towel, Clarissa stood in the middle of the bedroom suite feeling lost. It was late, and she should be tired, but the books she’d brought from the library called to her. She was hoping they might help spark her memory. Even more than her pull toward the books, she could feel herself being drawn to Patrick. It was like a magical string being tugged, growing taut until she thought it would snap with tension. Her body sang for her to go to him.
They had spent hours in his makeshift lab working on LUNA, but their tests were just beginning, and they still had no answers. She wasn’t surprised, but she couldn’t help wishing they’d have some answers on it before Patrick and the others left. It would give her some peace of mind if they had something to counteract LUNA, in case they ran into any trouble.
She sank down on the mattress and pulled the towel off her head. Her hair spilled over her shoulders, sending a chill down her neck as the wet strands touched her skin. “I’m in too deep. I barely know him, and yet he’s all I think about.”
“Talking to yourself?” Jade stood in the doorway. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail with only a few strands escaping around her face. The jeans and sweater she’d been wearing earlier had been replaced with black yoga pants and a long sleeved t-shirt to match. Still, she sent a ripple of jealousy through Clarissa.
Was it wrong to be envious of the fact that Jade always appeared ready to tackle the next problem, no matter the time of day or the issue at hand? She seemed quite unlike Clarissa, who felt overcome by her exhaustion. Jade looked refreshed like she was ready to begin the day anew. She had put in just as many long hours as the rest of them. When she wasn’t cooking, she was busy with Shifters Underground.
If shifters were able to keep their energy going throughout the day and not let fatigue show, then humans were certainly at a disadvantage. Humans gave in and gave up when they became tired. Even now, Patrick was down in the lab, still working.
“Are you okay?” Jade asked when she didn’t answer the first time.
“I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”
“Aloud, until I popped in.”
“I’m known for that.” Her grip on the moistened towel tightened. After the last conversation with Jade she felt uneasy, but there was no one else who could answer her question. Instead of letting her discomfort bother her, or the fact the two hadn’t seen eye to eye, she took a deep breath. “Do you ever worry about your brothers when they leave?”
“I always worry about my family.”
Clarissa shook her head. “I guess I should have asked, how do you handle it when they leave?”
Jade strolled into the bedroom and came to stand near Clarissa. “It’s normal to be worried about Patrick. I’d be concerned if you weren’t, but he’s going to be fine. They’ll go, do what they have to, and they’ll be back. The longest part for them will be traveling. They’ll have to limit their time in Hathaway Medical to maybe twenty or thirty minutes, so the security guards don’t catch them.”
“What will happen to any of the shifters they find?”
“That will depend on their conditions. In the past, most of them have wanted to go out on their own to see about finding their families. We give them the Shifters Underground card in case they ever need our help.” Jade leaned against the dresser. “What we don’t do is bring them back here. It’s too dangerous when they first get out. We don’t know what happened to them, or what they’re capable of. We have to protect our home.”
“So, you just toss them out into the cold to be captured again?”
“No, we have safe places for them all around the country where they can stay until they decide what to do. This is command central for Shifters Underground, so it’s important to keep it safe. For all of our sakes but also for all the ones we can save.”
“After Patrick and I have deconstructed LUNA and find a counteragent, what can I do to help with Shifters Underground?” Even as she said it, she couldn’t help but think of those who’d helped rescue slaves on the Underground Railroad. It was exciting to think she could help in some way but she also wanted to use it as a tactic to cross the wall between her and Jade. If she were going to mate with Patrick, Jade would be a big part of her life. Being that they were the only two women in the house, it would help if they bonded in friendship, if not as sisters.
“There’s always something to do, but you’re so much more skilled than I am. Reuniting families is a pale comparison to what you and Patrick have been doing in the lab. Though, if you have some free time, I’d love some help searching the database for missing people, to try to reconnect them with their families, or at least give them closure.”
“What you do it just as important. You’re bringing peace to those who are suffering. Never doubt what you’re doing.” She paused and looked at Jade. The two of them had already started moving in a different direction, but maybe that had more to do with the fact she had accepted that Jade was right. She couldn’t fault the woman for stating what she needed to hear. “I’d love to help with what you’re doing. Just give me a couple days for Patrick and I to find something to stand against LUNA.”
“Did I hear my name?” Patrick stepped through the doorway.
“Seems like my bedroom is becoming a central spot.” She smirked at him and tried to hide the fact she was glad he’d come to her.
“That’s what happens when you leave your door open. It’s an open invitation in this house. Which is why most of the time everyone’s doors are partly open.”
“I thought you were going to work longer in the lab?”
“I was, but I wanted to be with you.”
“That’s my cue.” Jade straightened, and stepped away from where she’d been leaning on the dresser. “Sleep well, and…Clarissa…” She glanced at her brother before turning back to her. “This chat proved I was wrong this morning. I think you’ll be perfect.” With that, she slipped from the room leaving them alone.
“What was that all about?”
“I think your sister just gave us an approval, rescinding her original comment that I wasn’t good enough for you.” Towel still in hand, she rose from the bed. “Wanted to be with me, huh? Isn’t that a little presumptuous?”
“I thought you’d be thinking of me as well, and from the look in your eyes when I entered the room, I don’t think I was wrong. Though, if you want me to, I’ll leave.”
He turned on his heels, and she was tempted to let him walk away. It would teach him a lesson that he shouldn’t jump to conclusions with her. Next time, she promised herself. “Get back in here.”
“I thought…” With a smirk stretched across his face, he raised an eyebrow at her in question.
“We may not know each other that well yet, and this attraction feels too sudden to me…but I’m not into self-denial, at least not when it comes to things I really want.”
“My angel, should I take that to mean I’m something you really want?”
“Don’t get cocky.” She dragged her fingers through her damp hair and went to the dresser where she knew she’d find some of Jade’s clothes. It took all her concentration to keep her attention on finding a nightshirt instead of going to him. She wanted to feel his arms around her, holding her like he had the night before. “Give me a minute to change.”
“I like what you’re wearing. It lets my mind wander to how enchanting you must look underneath that robe.”
She tried to ignore how his words made her heart flutter with anticipation. There was no way she could deny she wanted him, obviously as much as he wanted her, but now didn’t seem like the time. Plus, sex would only complicate things. Sex would complete the mating, making her his. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Not yet—but her body screamed soon.
Instead, she pushed herself to a safer topic. “Did Austin get Nolan settled in? Will he be staying here permanently?”
“For now, he will be. He took a room on the third floor.”
“Two floors down?”
He nodded and stepped closer. “While Austin knows and trusts Nolan, I don’t. He’s not family. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought…” His words died off, and he slid his hands up her waist.
“What?” she pressed.
“Whenever I’m around you, I can’t seem to keep myself from touching you.”
“You were saying that you gave something a lot of thought.” She placed her hand on his chest, not to push him away but because she wanted to touch him, too.
“Thought…oh, right.” He nodded as if he remembered what he had been about to say. “I’ve decided we’re keeping this floor for family. Tomorrow, Blake is installing a passcode lock on the doors to this floor. No one without the code or one of us accompanying them will be given access. With Luke’s office up here, the confidential information and our safety, this is imperative.”
“Then I’ll gather my things.”
He stopped her as she started to turn away. “You’re my mate, and you’re not going anywhere.”
“Actually, I’m not your mate yet.”
“You’re my mate. I just haven’t made the claim official yet. I’m waiting for you to be ready.” His wrapped his fingers around the tie of her robe. “Though, we can change that if you’d like.”
“Let’s stay on topic for now, and maybe I’ll reward you later,” she teased. She took his hand in hers as if to stop him from untying her robe.
“You’re staying here, close to me. Preferably in my bed, but one step at a time.”
“Is a passcode lock on the doors really necessary?”
“Yes. It’s for our protection. Not everyone we bring here will be someone who knows one of us, like Austin knows Nolan, and we need to protect ourselves. Nolan is going out tomorrow to deal with something for another Ranger, and he’ll be gone most of the day. Meanwhile, I’m going to get everyone on board to transport the lab equipment from downstairs to its new location in one of the rooms at the end of the hall. We’re going to set up a conference area we can use if we’re meeting with others. I’ll keep an office downstairs so I’ll be accessible to anyone who’s here, but I’m going to have a second one off the lab so I can work on more confidential stuff if I need to.”
“It sounds like all of a sudden you’ve lost faith in our safety here.” She pulled her robe tighter around her body. “Why did Nolan’s arrival change you this much?”
“It’s not that.” His brow furrowed for a moment as he considered her words. “In the future, we’re going to have others here. That’s a certainty. And when I return from Hathaway Medical, Andrew will be coming with me.”
“Andrew the security guard? Why?” She thought of the last time she’d seen him. Standing outside, he had warned her, told her to record the experiments. Had he known she’d be appalled by what she saw?
“He’s been on edge there for a while, but now that LUNA is being used, he can’t risk trying to find another job. He’s switched shifts with one of the other guards so that he’ll be on duty late Friday night when we arrive, and he can help us get in.”
“He’s worried about LUNA? He can’t be…”
“A shifter?” he finished, before nodding. “Bear.”
“What? Why was he working for Hathaway Medical, then? I saw him holding down the shifter once, when they were experimenting. How can you let someone like that come here?” She eyed the man before her, mentally questioning his actions. She couldn’t understand how he could bring someone who had played a part in the experiments into their home and lives. That only increased the dangers for all of them. A part of her wondered if Andrew was only helping the O’Reillys so he could get to Clarissa.
“Andrew’s motives were unusual. Two months ago, his sister was killed, and the evidence points to it being someone who worked for one of the labs and had tried to take her. She struck out at the kidnapper, trying to protect her daughter. Andrew believes his niece might be in one of the labs. He’s been spending all this time searching for her, but he hasn’t found her.”
“How old is she?”
“Eight. That might keep her alive.”
“Why?” She couldn’t think of one reason it would be good for her to live, to suffer through horrendous tortures. Life wasn’t worth such agony, especially not when the little girl wouldn’t understand what was happening to her.
“At that age, we shift unexpectedly, especially when our emotions get the best of us. They’ll want to find out why she’s able to do it so often.” Even as he said it, she could see a glimpse of doubt in his eyes.
“But that will mean…” She couldn’t bring herself to say
torture
.
“Pain, experiments,” he said. “Andrew is hoping they will monitor her instead of experimenting on her.”
“What about you? Do you think they won’t experiment on her, that she’s even alive?”
“Eventually, monitoring her won’t be enough. They won’t be satisfied with it, and they’ll experiment on her. Maybe they will keep her sedated so she won’t feel the pain.” He closed his eyes for a moment, and something about it made her think he didn’t believe what he was saying. “I don’t know if she’s alive. As awful as it sounds, and even worse how it feels to say it, I’d rather she’d have been killed with her mother, or after she was at the lab. As long as she wasn’t incinerated alive.”
“There’s no win to this situation, is there? Either she’s in a lab being tortured with endless experiments or she’s dead. How’s anyone supposed to deal with that?”