Forgive Me (Callaway Book 2) (25 page)

Just like a first-class jerk, he'd gone and made things worse. "Really? You're spending more time at the diner than at home, and that's what you consider making the best of the situation? Excuse me for not believing you. I thought we were in this together, but I guess I was wrong." That night was the first of many he'd slept on the couch, and in the morning, Amanda hadn't talked to him once.

She'd focused all of her attention on Lucy that week, proving him wrong, and that hit him like a knife straight to the heart. Things were not going the way he wanted; everything was so much harder than he had hoped.

By the third week, things had gone from bad to worse, with Jamie going into labor. It meant double-duty for everyone on the ranch, and at the cabin, to make sure everything was ready for the baby. Thankfully, he'd brought Lucy along with him on his chores, and she seemed to enjoy being out in the open. They were finally building a solid relationship, all while his relationship with Amanda was sliding backward. They hadn't had sex in almost three weeks, and their lack of time together was starting to take a toll. That wasn't who they were.

The day they went up to the cabin to meet the new baby, he'd overheard Amanda's conversation with Jamie and he knew he was losing her.

"You look worse than me, and I'm the one who just had a child. What's going on with you?" He hadn't planned on listening to their conversation, but when Amanda answered, he couldn't move.

"Me and Drew, we're not doing so great. I knew it was going to be a hard adjustment with Lucy, but I thought if we stuck together, we would be stronger for it. We're not, though. We're barely talking and when we
do
, we end up fighting. We haven't had sex in almost three weeks and I know it's silly, but I miss that connection. I miss
him
. I don't know what to do."

"Having a child is a hard adjustment for couples. That's what all the baby books say anyways. Have you talked to him about how you're feeling?"

"We haven't been doing much talking. Between work and Lucy, we haven't had much 'us' time. It'll be okay." He could hear the uncertainty in her voice, though, even as she tried to remain strong.

Listening to her cry that day had broken his heart. He knew he had to find a way to fix them before he lost her forever. He had a feeling if she left, no matter how far he chased her, she wouldn't come back.

On the fourth week, Drew, Amanda and Lucy were outside playing on the new swing set his brothers had built when a car pulled up the driveway, throwing his plans for a romantic night with Amanda out the window. The guy in the car had handed him papers, and the words he'd spoken were ones he would never forget.

"The child's mother is giving up her parental rights. The papers are all here, all you have to do is sign." Drew had hired a private investigator right after Lucy had been dropped off, hoping to find her mother and find answers to many of the questions that were still unresolved. Two days before the strange car had pulled into the driveway, the private investigator had called Drew to tell him he had found her in Virginia. From the pictures, she didn't seem all that torn up about leaving her daughter.

That night, after Lucy had gone to bed, he and Amanda sat down at the kitchen table. He would never forget the defeated look in her eyes. It was like some part of her had shut down, and he hated that he was responsible for it.

They remained silent until Drew lost track of time. It was almost like both of them were too scared of what the other one might say to speak, so they opted for silence, which he was growing tired of. "You should sign the papers. Lucy should never have to see that woman again. I know you share a child with her, but she was a one-night stand, Drew, and she was as far from being mother material as you can get." That was all Amanda said before standing and walking up the stairs. That was when he'd had enough. He threw an empty vase across the room and watched it shatter, just like his relationship with Amanda was.

That night, Lucy woke him up with a nightmare. When he went into her bedroom to make sure she was all right, Amanda was already sitting in the bed with his daughter. His heart tightened at the sight of her holding a crying Lucy in her arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. He leaned back against the doorframe and never took his eyes off them, until he couldn't take more of their conversation.

"It's okay, Lucy. It was just a bad dream. You're okay." Amanda had Lucy cradled into her body, running her hands down his little girl's back as she soothed her.

But when Lucy spoke next, the remaining piece of his heart shattered and he knew he had to fix things fast. "Are you and daddy going to break up?" The tremor in Lucy's voice was too much to take, and he felt the tears spilling down his face.

"Why would you ask that?" Amanda had questioned Lucy in a voice that revealed just how emotionally shaken she was by the question.

"He's been sleeping on the couch, and you fight a lot. Is it because of me?" When he heard his daughter, he wanted to barge into the room and tell her it had nothing to do with her.

Before he could do anything, Amanda said exactly the right thing.

"Oh, honey, no, it's not because of you. I don't want you to ever think that. Your daddy and I are just going through some hard things right now, but it has nothing to do with you, I promise. We're just going through some stuff."

"Okay then. Can you sleep with me tonight?"

And that was how he ended up in his mom's kitchen at 7 a.m. the next day, desperate for advice on how to fix the mess he'd allowed by not nurturing his relationship with Amanda.

"Honey, are you all right?" his mom asked when she walked in the kitchen and saw him sitting at the table alone, coffee cup in hand.

"I need some advice, Mom," he finally managed to get out through the burn in his throat.

He watched as his mom poured herself a cup of coffee before sitting down beside him, looking as concerned as he was. "What's going on? You look like you're facing a big decision."

"I'm screwing everything up, Mom. I don't know how to handle being a dad to Lucy, and being with Amanda. I feel like, no, I
know
I'm putting Amanda on the back burners, and things are not good, Mom. We haven't slept in the same bed in weeks. It's like we're roommates more than a couple, and I don't know how to fix it without making Lucy feel like she's not as important. I can't lose her, Mom. I can't do this without her." He dropped his head in his hands when he finished talking. Getting the words out in the open was like removing a pressure on his skull he hadn't even noticed was there.

"When Becca was born, I was so overwhelmed. I had four boys who demanded a whole lot of attention and energy, on top of a newborn baby girl who needed me to be the best mother possible. But I also had a husband who I loved more than anything in the world, and who was amazing with his kids. When you have children, it's so easy to forget that you're more than just a parent. Your father and me, we were so caught up with being parents that months went by and it was like we forgot that we were also married. When it hit me that we hadn't been intimate in any way in a couple of months, it hit me hard." He listened to every word his mom spoke, like she was telling him a secret he just had to know.

It was so strange to be sitting at the kitchen table he'd grown up around, listening to his mom talk about the troubles she and his dad had faced. Growing up, they always looked so happy, so fulfilled that it was hard to believe it hadn't always been that way. "How did you guys fix it?"

"Cole was old enough to babysit then, so your dad rented a room at this beautiful bed and breakfast near Helena. He took me away from everything else so we just could be us. Children are beautiful, amazing things to have and to share as a couple, but finding the right balance is also important. You have a family who loves you, Drew, and even if things have been crazy lately, we are always here if you need us."

As he took a sip of his coffee, a plan formed in his head. He had neglected his relationship with Amanda for weeks, and it was about time he stepped up and be the man she had chosen. "Do you think you could watch Lucy this weekend?" he asked his mom, hopeful he could get them back to where they once were.

"Of course, honey," she told him, squeezing his hand while smiling up at him.

He had three days before the weekend at the bed and breakfast, and he planned on making the most of them. Every morning, he got up before Amanda and made breakfast. Sure, he wasn't the greatest cook, but he could get around the kitchen, and seeing the smile on her face every morning as she came down the stairs and saw him made it all worth it. He started leaving little notes in her purse so she would have a reminder of how much he loved her when she was at work.

The big test came when he asked his brother if his workload could be lightened for a couple of weeks. He hated being the one responsible for his brothers working harder than they already were, but he also knew something had to give. "It's about damn time you asked for help," Nick had said.

"I can't do this myself," was his response, because that was all there was to say.

The next day, he took Lucy to the diner to surprise Amanda and when Lucy started to run toward her, the hopeful yet inquisitive smile she offered gave him hope.

That night, he had finally had enough of sleeping on the couch. If he was going to fix them, he had to be there with her; it was the only way his plan was going forward. When he'd slipped under the covers and pulled her body tightly against his, she surprised him by snuggling closer, her face buried in his neck, inhaling his scent.

"I miss you, baby," he told her as his hands roamed over her back.

"I miss you, too. We haven't been a couple in weeks," she whispered against his skin as he held her. No other words were spoken because in that moment, nothing else needed to be said. He held her as they both fell asleep, the anticipation of the weekend to come humming through his body.

When he woke up the next morning, he climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Amanda. He took a shower and woke up Lucy, who was beyond excited to spend the weekend with her grandma. Half an hour later, his mom knocked on the front door and he ushered her in as quietly as he could. He kissed Lucy goodbye and when his daughter was safely buckled in his mom's car, he grabbed the suitcase he had had Abby prepare and loaded his truck.

When everything was ready, he poured a cup of coffee for Amanda and headed upstairs. She was still sleeping, her body barely covered by the comforter. He bit back a groan at the sight of her ass peeking out, teasing him. He put the coffee cup on the bedside table and sat down beside her, running his hands over her arms and back to wake her up.

"Drew, what's going on?" she asked, still half-asleep. She looked so beautiful with her hair all over the place, not a trace of makeup on. His cock ached when she shifted on her side, giving him a perfect view of her barely covered breasts. At that moment, he had no doubt this little getaway was exactly what they needed.

"What's going on is that you and I are going away for the weekend. My mom has Lucy, and you are all mine, baby. You said we haven't been a couple in weeks, and that's the truth. It's time we change that."

"I have work, Drew. I can't just leave out of the blue," she tried to argue, but he wasn't having any of it. They needed this, and they were doing it.

"I talked to Abby, and everything is set. Now, you can stay in bed and keep finding reasons why you can't come with me, all of which I will shut down, or you can get up, get dressed and give me the weekend to start fixing us."

"Okay, I'll go away with you." He leaned closer to her and pressed what was meant to be a soft kiss to her lips. However, the instant his lips touched her, he lost it. He flipped her on her back, kissing her with all the pent-up need of the last few weeks, and covered her body with his, his arms on each side of her face. He kissed her like a starving man, and by the way she was kissing him back and moaning, he knew she was right there with him. Her hands pulled at the back of his shirt and her legs wrapped around his waist, putting his erection at the center of her cotton-covered pussy. He threw his head back and growled when he felt her heat through his jeans.

He dropped his forehead to hers, a gesture that had become so meaningful for them, and he looked in her eyes as he talked. "I know I've been neglecting you, neglecting us, and I am so sorry, baby. I promise you I will do better, that I will always nurture what we have, no matter how crazy life gets. I won't take you for granted again. Now, I'm going to get off this bed before I end up fucking you into the wall. You're going to get dressed, and then we'll get on the road. When we get where we're going, I promise you, this body is fucking mine."

Sitting in Drew's truck, looking out the passenger window, Amanda didn't know if she was happy Drew was taking her away for the weekend or if she was scared about what it would open the door to. The past month had been an emotional rollercoaster, from meeting Lucy, to moving in together, to trying to make sense of their new life. It definitely hadn't been as easy as she had imagined. She loved Drew more than ever before, though, and watching him build a relationship with Lucy was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever seen. If nothing, it made her love him more.