Forgive Me (Callaway Book 2) (8 page)

He and Cole spent three hours going over the house and making a list of supplies needed for the renovations before calling it a day. When he walked inside the house to let Amanda know they were leaving, he found her sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over a laptop with her hand rubbing the back of her neck. He fought the urge to pull her back to his chest and touch her himself. He sat down beside her and she smiled, making him feel like he'd just won the lottery. "We're just about done. We'll be back tomorrow morning."

"Okay." Her attention was obviously focused on whatever she was looking at.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

She bit the inside of her cheek, and he remembered that was one of her tells when things weren't going her way. "I'm trying to find a vendor for fresh fruits and veggies for the diner and for the wedding, but every farm is far out. I know Jamie wanted to use your mom's veggies, but I'd like to use a variety."

There was a big chance he would end up regretting what he was about to say, but seeing the defeated look on her face didn't sit well with him. "Not every farm," he told her, running his fingers through his hair. He watched as her eyes followed his hand and he smiled at her clenched fists on the table, like she was trying to stop herself from reaching out to him.

"What do you mean?" God, she was so damn beautiful, even more so every time he saw her.

When she tilted her head to the side, he realized he hadn't answered her yet. "About three years ago, we built a greenhouse for my mom to grow veggies and herbs. She's been talking about selling more of it. You should talk to her about buying from her. She supplies to some restaurants outside the city. And honestly, you don't need to worry about variety. Mom's been on a growing mission."

"Really?" She sounded surprised, both that he would suggest she work with his mom and because of the scale of her production. Her reaction reminded him just how much history laid between them.

"I'm sure she'd like that," he told her honestly. His mom would be happy to have something extra to do and she'd always cared for Amanda, so this was an easy fix for everyone. Plus, if it meant seeing Amanda on Callaway land more often, there was no way he was letting that opportunity pass him by.

"This is great. Thank you, Drew." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, stunning him in the process. As quickly as she had moved to him, she was gone. Her face was flushed, and he could tell she was embarrassed by her reaction, but he sure as hell wasn't. He wanted to haul her off the chair into his lap and hold her tight.

"No problem." His voice was huskier than he wanted it to be, but she was turning him on, and there wasn't much he could do about his body's response to her.

"Thank you for doing all of this, too." She waved her hand around as she spoke. "I don't know what I would do if you guys hadn't offered."

"You're family, Amanda." She was his everything. He hated the thought of her feeling alone, like she didn't have anybody she could depend on. He wanted her to depend on him, to know she could call him day or night and he'd be right there. He wanted her to know he would give anything to make her happy.

"Not anymore, Drew. I haven't been family in a long time." He hated the sound of defeat in her voice, but he also knew better than to push her at the moment. So, he took a few steps closer to her and pulled her into his arms.

"You're always going to be family. You're
my
family, Amanda. You are all that matters." He kissed the top of her head, letting his lips linger a bit longer than he should have, inhaling her scent before walking out the back door.

"You okay?" He jerked his head up at the sound of his brother's voice.
Was
he okay? He honestly didn't know how to answer that.

"I'm fine." He knew Cole saw right through his lie, because he was the last thing from fine. They drove home in silence and for the first time in a long time, Drew fell asleep later that night, hopeful for the future. Hopeful for a future with the woman he loved.

Amanda woke up determined not to let the moment she'd shared with Drew the day before get to her. Something had shifted between the two of them, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She knew she couldn't avoid going to the Callaway Ranch, since she really needed those fresh fruits and veggies, but she also knew there was a strong possibility Kathy would chase her off her land. Any mother had the right to hate the girl who broke her son's heart, but Kathy was in a whole other class of mothers. She was
the
mama bear.

"You can do this, Amanda," she told her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she finished getting ready. She grabbed an old pair of cut-off shorts and a light blue tank top before heading out. The sun was already making the temperature almost unbearable, sweat dripping on her forehead. The summer heat was one thing she definitely hadn't missed while she was gone. Although she had to admit, it had its perks, like watching Drew working sweaty and shirtless.

She rolled the windows of her dad's old pickup truck down and cranked up the radio to the only country music station. When George Straits' "Check Yes or No" came on the radio, she smiled at the memory of the first time Drew had asked her out. She was fifteen, and she'd been crushing on him for weeks when he slipped her a note in the hallway. When she'd opened it, she remembered getting butterflies in the pit of her stomach as she read what he had written:
'Do you wanna go out with me? Yes or No.'
That note had changed their lives; after that first date, they'd become inseparable. He might have been her best friend's brother to start, but he'd become her family.

By the time she pulled up at the Callaway ranch, she'd managed to make herself even more nervous about seeing Kathy. Her trip down memory lane to the sound of George Strait had only increased her fear that Kathy would despise her. She thought about turning right back around but just as she was about to put her truck in reverse, Nick came out of the barn and waved at her.
Well, there went my escape plan.

She put the truck in park and slid out of the cab as Nick opened her door. "Hey, Amanda."

She was surprised when he hugged her, and it took her a few seconds before she hugged him back. In that moment, with one little gesture, Nick reminded her how much she loved this family. "Hey, Nick, how are you?" she asked after kissing his cheek.

"You know me, always well. What brings you over? Drew went into town." Her whole face blushed as Nick mentioned Drew. When she looked at him, he was grinning ear to ear. She shook her head, laughing nervously.

"I'm actually here to see your mom. Drew told me about the greenhouse and I've been looking to buy locally, so he thought I should talk to her." Amanda knew she was rambling, but she couldn't seem to stop. Her hands were damp, and she was starting to feel lightheaded from worrying about Kathy's reaction.

Nick must have sensed her unease because he steadied her with his hands on her waist. "She's going to love that. You look like you're about to pass out, are you okay?"

Before she could stop them, the words slipped past her lips. "What if she hates me, Nick? I haven't seen her in five years, and I broke her son's heart. Oh, God, what if she hates me?" She dropped her forehead on Nick's chest as he ran his hand up and down her back, trying his best to calm her down.

"Breathe, Amanda. She doesn't hate you. No one hates you for leaving. You did what you needed to do, and Drew did the same thing. You were both kids, Amanda."

She pulled away from him and wiped the tears that had fallen down her cheeks, "I never meant to hurt him, Nick." Thinking about the way she left him made her stomach twist. Looking back, if she could do things differently, she would.

"Darling, we know and Drew knows, too." The raw honesty in his voice told her he spoke the truth. Could they really have forgiven her for hurting Drew the way she had?

She wasn't ready to have this conversation with anyone, especially when she hadn't even had it with Drew yet. "I should go talk to your mom." As much as the thought of facing Kathy scared her, she knew she couldn't avoid it forever. She needed to do this; it was a part of the healing process for everyone, including herself.

Nick nodded, and she knew he understood exactly the dilemma she was in. "She's in the kitchen." The memories of all the times she had spent in the kitchen with Kathy learning how to cook flooded her mind.

She was on the verge of tears before she tried to get a hold of herself. This was neither the time nor the place to lose it. "All right. Thanks, Nick." She kissed his cheek again and started walking towards the front door.

"Amanda?" She stopped walking when Nick called out her name then turned around to face him.

"Yeah?" she responded, her voice a little unsteady.      

"He still loves you and I think you still love him, so give him a chance." She couldn't find the words to speak, so she just nodded and focused on walking up the front steps without falling down on her ass.

She pushed the front door open softly. The second she stepped inside the house, she was overwhelmed with memories: of all the times she'd been there with Drew, all the dinners she had eaten there, and every holiday Kathy had welcomed her into her home. This house had been her second home and as she looked around, she smiled at how little it had changed. They'd made some improvements, but it still felt the same.

She walked down the hallway that led into the kitchen, and the smell of fresh-baked cookies stopped her dead in her tracks. The first time Drew had taken her out for a date, his mom had packed them a picnic with some of the best chocolate chip cookies she'd ever tasted. God, everything reminded her of Drew, and what they'd once had. She really needed to get it together.

She walked into the kitchen and the second Kathy saw her, she smiled and all but ran toward her. "Amanda! Oh, good God, girl, come here and give me a hug."

"Hi, Kathy." She didn't know how she managed to speak with the web of emotions going through her body.

She smiled when Kathy took her by the hands and gave her a squeeze. "Oh, baby, you have grown into such a beautiful woman. Just look at you!"

"Thank you." She didn't know what else to say. This was not the welcome she had prepped herself for, and she honestly had no idea how to act since her worse fear hadn't come true.

"Are you here to see Drew? He went into town to grab some supplies the boys need to start working on the house tomorrow."

Of course, Drew hadn't told her she would be dropping by.

"I actually came to see you." She took a seat on one of the stools facing the kitchen window.

"Is everything all right?" Kathy asked, concern written all over her face. In that moment, whatever worry she had about Kathy hating her vanished for good, which led her to ask herself if she was the one who couldn't forgive herself for hurting Drew. It was obvious everyone else had.

"Oh, yes, everything is fine. Actually, when Drew and Cole came over yesterday, they told me you've been growing berries and vegetables and supply some restaurants in the city."

She watched as Kathy's smile widened at the mention of the greenhouse. "My boys built me a greenhouse a few years back, and I cannot get enough of it!"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd consider sourcing to the diner. I've been trying to buy locally, but I haven't had the best of luck finding the right provider." It was one of her pet peeves as a chef. Every chance she had to source locally, she felt the responsibility to take it. Growing up in a place where people depended on revenues generated from their farms, she knew too well the struggles local producers came across.

Kathy looked a little shocked by her proposal, but it quickly turned into enthusiasm. "Darling, I would love to. You just tell me what you need and I'll get that going for you."

She stood up, grabbed the folded piece of paper in her front pocket and handed it to Kathy. "I have a list of things I would need to start with. This is pretty basic, and we can see what changes we can make to the menu as we go along."

Kathy looked at the list and smiled back at her. "I can do this list. Oh, this is so exciting. I'm so happy you came to me. With the boys working so much on the ranch, I've been feeling a little useless lately, so this is exactly what I needed."

Amanda highly doubted Kathy Callaway had even spent a day of her life being useless. Between running a ranch and raising five kids, the woman was like a superhero. "I can pick up the products every three days or so, if that works for you," she told her.

"I can have one of the boys drive into town for you, if that's easier. I know how busy you are," she suggested.

No way would she be able to handle seeing Drew that many times. And she knew deep down that if she agreed to it, Drew would somehow find a way to make every single delivery. "Oh, no, that's all right. Between the ranch and my house, I think they have enough on their plates already."

Kathy didn't speak for a few moments, just looked at her as if she was trying to read a part of her mind. When she finally spoke, Amanda fought back the emotions threatening to erupt. "My boy would do anything for you."