Forgiven (3 page)

She exhales before replying, “I like the idea of moving today, but I’m so tired. I just want to be lazy for the rest of the day. I have a big day tomorrow.”

I’m relieved. I offered and I’d so move her, but I am emotionally and physically spent myself. “Okay. Let’s go get breakfast then. I’m starving.”

I
’m on my way to class. The drive takes me over an hour. I hate driving in Atlanta. I have seriously considered taking MARTA, which is Atlanta’s public transportation system. Bradley really doesn’t want me doing it myself. I appreciate his concern, but the thought of being taken to school and the extra study time is enticing. I have to leave so early on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s to make it to my class on time. Bradley is usually still asleep when I head out. It’s nice to see his face before I leave though, knowing I’ll get to see him again in a few hours.

Bradley and I arrived back to Atlanta in the early afternoon on Sunday. I’m not sure what made him more happy: me accepting his proposal or me moving in with him so quickly. I’m sure it’s probably a combination, but he’s been in rare form since Sunday. I must admit, it’s really cute seeing him like this.

He’s like a child in a candy store. He immediately hired a realtor and has started packing his apartment. Apparently, he can’t find us a new home fast enough. I’m excited to be going to look at places after my tutoring session. The houses the realtor sent have been homes similar to what my friends have had. While the thought of living in a house like that thrills me, it’s also scary.

Right now, I don’t know what I’m missing. This life I’ve had is all I know, and I’ve really been quite content with it. Who wouldn’t want to live in a huge house with all the nicest of furnishings? I just worry that if anything were to ever happen to us that it would be hard for me to go back to living like I have. That somehow I’ll become spoiled and change from the person I am now. I don’t want to change. I want to just be me.

I think subconsciously I am worried that all this has happened so fast that I have started to change. In the blink of an eye, it seems that my life went from boring and simple to so complicated. Everything I’ve ever thought I wanted has been handed to me on a silver platter. It just still all seems too good to be true. Everything in my life that has ever been this blissfully happy has come crashing down all around me, breaking me. It’s like a curse.

Then I’m reminded that the platter had extras, things I didn’t like and never wanted. Bradley has his own baggage. He’s tried to act unfazed by it, but there is no way he could be. I don’t expect him to act emotionless. There is a very real possibility he is about to become a father. Before we’re even married. I know he’s acting like this because he thinks I’m fragile. And I guess with the way I reacted, I can’t blame him.

The thought of him having a child with another woman, with someone he didn’t even love, nearly breaks my heart every time I think about it. But, I too, have tried to act unfazed. Supportive even. I love babies. I want lots of them. I just don’t want the complications that I know will come with not being the mother of his baby. I don’t want Veronica in our lives forever. I don’t know what she and Ian were up to or how it all went down, but honestly, I would be fine with never seeing either of them ever again.

My cell phone rings, and I know by the timing Bradley’s awake and calling for our morning talk. I’m relieved because I definitely need to change my train of thought.

I swipe to answer. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning, beautiful.” I think I can hear him stretching. His voice is deep and hoarse from just waking up.

“So what’s the plan for this afternoon and looking at houses?” My voice is perky because I’m really excited.

“I hate to have two cars.” He yawns, which makes me yawn.

I tease, “If you’d let me take MARTA, we wouldn’t have two cars.” I am only being partially serious. I respect why he doesn’t want me to take it, but I still would rather be studying right now so I won’t need a tutor for long rather than driving in this hellacious Atlanta traffic.”

“Gabby,” he reprimands. I can tell he’s not happy.

“I’m kidding, kidding. Cool it, Mr. Protective Pants.” I try to salvage the mood. “It’s probably just as dangerous for me to be driving and talking to you in eight lanes of traffic, though.”

He chuckles, “Mr. Protective Pants?”

I grin, “Yes. My Mr. Protective Pants. I don’t guess I’d take you any other way.”

“Good, because that’s not something that will change. No amount of pouting or begging. I don’t want you on MARTA by yourself.”

“Gotcha. So what do we do about this two car situation?” I inquire.

“I wanted us to look at a house in Château Élan. It’s a gorgous place, and it’s on your way back into the city. Do you want to meet me there?”

“Château Élan, huh.” I pass it every day. Granted, that means I’ve only passed it a few times now, but it’s visible from I-85. To say it’s impressive is an understatement. The only thing I can compare it to is The Biltmore Estate. Château Élan’s mansion isn’t as large as the Biltmore’s. Both have vineyards.

“Yeah, it’s gated. I think I want us in a gated community.”

“Why?”

“I just do. I don’t want people showing up unannounced anymore, ever again.”

Relief unexpectedly floods my body. “I didn’t like the thought of gated two seconds ago, but when you put it like that, I’m all for gated.” The very thought of Ian and Veronica never being able to just pop up into our lives again, at least while we’re in our home, is definitely soothing.

“So we’re going to meet there at four pm?”

“Yes. We’ll get dinner afterwards then come home.”

“Sounds great. I’m almost here. I better go. Hope you have a good day.”

“It will only be good when I get to see your face.”

I shake my head, rolling my eyes. “Such a charmer.”

“It’s the truth. Love you, Gabby Girl.”

“Love you,” I reply as I end the call and toss my phone down. It’s amazing how talking to him can change my mood so quickly.

As I sat through my history class, bored out of my mind, I tried not to daydream. Once class was over, I couldn’t wait to get in my car to meet him. Concentrating has been hard today. The anticipation of looking for our new home has been the only thing I’ve been able to really think about. It makes me sad in a way. I know I’m behind. I don’t want to need a tutor. But I can’t even pay attention in class half the time. It’s very unlike me.

Part of me wishes I had gone ahead and withdrawn from the semester after Christmas break when I requested my transfer. I could have moved to Atlanta while I waited. If I had not been able to transfer for the spring semester, I could have used that time to plan the wedding.

Now, just thinking about everything I have to do makes me overwhelmed. We’re officially moving me to Atlanta this weekend. It’s all bittersweet. I'll be even farther away from my sister, my only real family. I know Sam is considering transferring to Emory at the end of the semester, which makes me hopeful I won’t be sacrificing precious time with her. But the end of the semester is still a long way away. I still have hope it will all work out for the best.

Then there’s the wedding. We’ve yet to set a date. He doesn’t believe me when I say I’d be content eloping, but I would be. I just want to be able to be with him in every way. The waiting is killing me, and I worry that his patience is running out. He says it's not, but I've been there and done that before with Ian.

Ugh at Ian entering my thoughts again. He seems to be on my mind far too frequently. It infuriates me that he's found yet another way to hurt me. It's hard for my brain to believe that all of the things he said to me in my apartment were lies. While this weekend seems so long ago, the hurt is still so raw. I wasn't happy to see him at first. I was definitely suspicious, but I have realized that I really wanted to believe him. Worst of all, I enjoyed his company to some extent. That makes me feel so guilty.

Shaking my head, I remind myself that I need to prepare myself for the possibility, even though it sickens me, that it’s his; that the baby is Bradley’s. We have no proof that Ian and Veronica were scheming behind our backs.
Stop it Gabby. Don't go there
. I swallow the doubt that is creeping into my mind. I trust Bradley. I have to believe that he's right, and that this is all going to be okay.

All of this makes me kick myself. Because I know that if I had taken time off from school, at the very least, we would have had more time to settle into this new life together. We could have ridden together because I wouldn’t have been all the way in Gainesville, which is where Brenau is located. I sigh. The timing is absolute crap.

The drive to Château Élan isn’t long. I realize he didn’t tell me which part of this mammoth community to go to, nor did he tell me how to get past the gates as I exit the interstate. As I reach for my phone, it rings.

“Hey. Where am I supposed to be going?”

“Yeah, it would have helped if I told you, right?”

“Humph, ya think?”

“Just turn into the main entrance as you come off the interstate on the left. We’ll just leave your car there.”

“Okay. See you in a sec.”

I end the call as I pulled into the entrance of one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen in my life. The view from the interstate just doesn’t do it justice. The entrance has shrubs that are trimmed to read Château Élan, and there are colorful flowers surrounding the shrubs. The grounds are immaculately kept, and only compliment the incredible white mansion that I am driving towards. The vineyard spans for acres to the left. It’s hard to believe when you pull in that this paradise is in northeast Georgia, just a minute from a busy interstate.

I glance around and spot Bradley’s car, not because it’s a nice car, but because he’s leaning up against the side with his arms and legs crossed. He’s watching me drive closer to him, and I see his lips curving into a smile. That look, that smile in front of this beautiful place is panty melting. I just want to run up to him and wrap my legs around his waist, kissing him. I don’t think I realize how much I miss him during the day until I am back with him. Then it’s times like these I wonder how we ever managed a long distance relationship for the time we did.