Forgiving You: A Bluebell Valley Novel (3 page)

Austin

After the exhausting flight that had taken him from New York City to Portland, then the long drive from Portland to Bluebell Valley, Austin needed to unwind. He knew that William wouldn’t approve, but Austin planned on keeping that hidden from the cameras. They wouldn’t start shooting until tomorrow since everybody was a bit cranky today.

While everyone else was getting settled at the only hotel in town, Austin had snuck out of their guard to go explore his old stomping grounds. He hadn’t been here in years. It felt strange at first, to be back in this place he used to know. Some things had changed, like the new supermarket that was twice the size of the previous one. But other than that, everything was exactly as he’d left it.

He started walking on the main street, knowing exactly where he was going. He had made sure to change from his everyday suit to something more casual so nobody would spot him. It was hard to hide in a town so small, but he was hoping the local team baseball hat he was wearing would give him a free pass. He hid under it, looking at the ground as he walked past people he knew―or used to know.

It took him only a few minutes to arrive at his final destination: the liquor store. It was mostly empty, except for an old man looking at brandy bottles and a blonde woman looking at white wine. He recognized the old man as one of the farmers around his parents’ orchard, but it took him longer to recognize the blonde woman. She was too busy reading labels to even notice he was looking, so he kept his eyes on her as long as he wanted.

That was when he realized it was Sam. Samantha, the woman who now hated him, and his high school crush.

He couldn’t believe that she was even more beautiful now. In high school, she had cared for her appearance, but those days hadn’t been the most flattering for her. Now, with her hair in a ponytail and wearing a black outfit, she looked like a woman more than a girl.

When Austin looked at her eyes, he noticed that they seemed sadder than he remembered. There was a spark that had disappeared over the years. But even if he knew life had changed Sam, he couldn’t stop staring at her, mesmerized by the color of her eyes. They were his favorite color, he realized. Of all the greens he loved, his favorite shade had always been the one of Sam’s eyes: dark green with a streak of yellow in them. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

His brain told him to get away from here, from her. He shouldn’t have any contact with her—at least, not yet. But his heart had other plans.

Austin started walking toward her, unable to resist the urge that had taken over his whole body. He needed to know if Sam was still mad at him, if she would judge him for who he had become, if she were still the same old Sam he knew or if she had changed. He had so many questions. He couldn’t let her get out of his sight. If he didn’t ask her today, he might never get the chance.

He was next to her when he stopped, leaning against the red wine rack on the other side of the aisle.

“It’s been a long time,” he finally said, low enough that only she would hear it. He didn’t want to have the attention of everybody in the store. When Sam turned around to face him, Austin’s reflexes were faster than his brain and he caught the bottle she was about to drop.

He looked into her eyes. He was hoping she might have forgiven him already, but as he scanned her face, he realized that wasn’t the case. Sam didn’t seem very happy to see him. He couldn’t blame her.

“How have you been?” he asked, but she stayed silent.

“Au… Austin?” Sam finally asked. She seemed confused.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“What are you doing here?” she snapped. This wasn’t going how he wanted it to go. Even if he knew Sam hadn’t forgiven him, Austin had still hoped that she wouldn’t make a scene and be civilized about it. That was not where it was heading.

“I’m here to buy a bottle of wine. What about you?” he replied, hoping Sam would keep her voice down. Maybe this had been a bad idea.

“You know what I meant. Why are you in Bluebell?”

“This is my town too, Sam. I’m here for a documentary,” Austin replied, feeling like things were getting out of control. He didn’t want to fight with Sam, not so soon. Yes, they definitely had problems and they would have to sort them out, but not now, not here.

This had been a bad idea.

“We start shooting tomorrow. They want to see the orchard and where I grew up,” he added, hoping it would be a neutral topic.

He wanted Sam’s forgiveness, but she didn’t look ready to give it to him. She was still too hurt and he would have to work for it. But this seemed like a bad moment, as she probably had a lot of things to process. He had to do that too, as he could feel emotions being stirred inside of him. He hated fighting with Sam as much as he loved spending time with her. Seeing her again only made him more certain he wanted to make things right between them.

“How long are you going to be here?” she asked, her anger slowly fading. He couldn’t tell where that was coming from, but it was reassuring.

“Just this weekend. My plane leaves Sunday night.”

“Good.”

“Can I see you again tomorrow? There are a lot of things I need to say to you.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please, Sam,” he said, but Sam was stoic.

Austin watched as she turned her back, wondering if they could even get over what had happened between them. Now that he was on the top of the world, he realized that his friendship with Sam should have been more important. Having someone like her in his life would make him much happier.

The more he looked at her, the more he noticed how different she was. Yes, she was still as stubborn as when she was a teenager—she’d just proven it to him. But there was something in her that wasn’t as bright as it used to be. She looked… sad, almost. The only thing Austin wanted to do was make her smile, but he knew he wasn’t close enough to her anymore.

He sighed. It was better if he left now. He was still holding the bottle Sam had almost dropped. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted tonight—he needed something stronger.

Sam was standing right next to where he had to put the bottle back. He reached, brushing against her arm. The contact made him shiver, even though Sam’s skin was burning hot. The spark reminded him of all those times during high school when he had brushed his best friend’s skin, wondering if they could ever be
more
than friends. He had never felt that way about a woman since then. He had never felt that spark.

Austin put the bottle down on the shelf, his eyes still on Sam. If only she knew how he really felt about her. But he hadn’t wanted to ruin their friendship, and now it was too late. She might even be seeing someone, for all he knew.

“I’ll see you around,” Austin sighed. Even if he wanted to give Sam more time, she probably needed more than a weekend. But by then, he would be gone.

Austin walked around to the whiskey section and grabbed an expensive bottle he knew would help with his mood. By the time he was ready to pay, Sam had disappeared. She was gone already and his heart felt empty. Even though everything in his body told him to stay away from her, that this was just more trouble waiting to happen, his heart couldn’t be tamed: it wanted Sam, and it always had.

Sam

“It was… unreal,” Sam admitted as she sunk into the couch. April was sitting in front of her, giving her a look Sam didn’t want to see. She knew she’d been awful, and the look on her friend’s face reminded her of it.

After coming back home empty-handed, Sam had laid down on her bed, trying to make things clearer in her brain. She couldn’t have stayed a minute longer around Austin without kissing him, then kicking him in the nuts. The cocktail of emotions she was feeling was highly dangerous, and she couldn’t help thinking she was a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode. She hated herself for thinking that Austin had turned into a very sexy man, and she hated herself for being so angry at him. After all, it had been ten years. Couldn’t she just get over it? But she’d been scarred by him, and those were hard to erase. She had wanted to act like an adult and give him a chance, but she had reacted like a teenager instead.

Everything inside her was conflicted. Sam couldn’t pretend she liked the rich and successful Austin, as he was the one who abandoned her, but she was definitely attracted to something in him. A part of her thought it was only because she hadn’t been with a man in a long time, but there was a lot more to it than just that. Austin had always been so sweet to her, and if that sweetness hadn’t disappeared, it had been replaced by a confidence she’d never seen before. While the old Austin had always done anything to avoid a fight, he hadn’t hesitated to put her back in her place. After all, Bluebell Valley was also Austin’s hometown, and she shouldn’t have acted like it wasn’t. Maybe he’d changed, but it was his home as much as it was hers.

As she’d decided to leave without buying anything, she realized that she did want to see Austin again. Her curiosity would kill her if she didn’t. There were so many things she wanted to know about him. But at the same time, letting him into her life could only have one outcome: a big mess. Her life was comfortable and predictable. Was she ready to gamble all of it for a man who’d broken her heart once already?

But as she’d glanced at him in the liquor store, looking at whiskey bottles, she realized Austin wasn’t happy, either. The arch in his back and the sadness in his eyes gave it away—his life wasn’t as glamorous as it sounded. He was as lonely as she was.

“What did he say?” April asked, bringing Sam back to reality. She had told her friend what had happened earlier today since it was the only thing that she could think about. When April had arrived at her house, Sam hadn’t been able to keep it from her. She had spilled all the details about him being in town and how they had ran into each other at the liquor store.

“He didn’t say much, really. Just hi, and then I freaked out. I was so mad at myself for even thinking that he was… good-looking… that I became a bit… aggressive. I was just so confused.”

“Is he really that hot?” April asked with a grin on her face.

“April! Please, come on. That’s not what we’re talking about here,” Sam replied, feeling her cheeks flare at the thought of Austin’s strong arms and broad shoulders.

“It’s totally what we’re talking about. Tell me you wouldn’t have freaked out if he weren't good-looking.”

“I…” Sam began, then stopped. April was right. If Austin had still looked like the guy Sam used to know, or if he weren't that attractive, she could probably have forgiven him. She couldn’t say if they’d be friends again, but it wouldn’t be so hard. Now, the only thing Sam could think about when she imagined Austin was if he was a good kisser.

“Are you going to see him again?” April asked.

“I don’t think so,” Sam admitted, realizing what she had said to Austin. Or more to the point, what she hadn’t said.

“Why is that?”

“Well… he wanted to meet again, but I didn’t say anything.”

“Really? We’re going to have to do something about that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re clearly not over that man. I think you two have some issues to solve before he leaves again. Maybe you should make the next move?”

“I’m not sure I can do that, or that I want to,” Sam told April, remembering that evening when Austin had left. She could have told him her feelings, but she had been too scared. That hadn’t changed, even ten years later.

“You’re not a teenager anymore, Sam. If you’re attracted to him, please don’t avoid him! Do you know how hard it is to find a handsome man in this town?”

Sam couldn’t help but smile a little. April always knew how to put her in a better mood.

“I know you’re right, but…” Sam began, trying to find the exact word for what she was feeling. “He broke my heart. I know it’s in the past, but he’s changed. He’s not the boy I used to know.”

“Then get to know who he became by forgiving who he was,” April said. It sounded so obvious, but there was still a part of Sam that wasn't sure she could do it. She didn’t want to get hurt again. Not by the same man.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try,” she finally said, making her friend smile.

Austin

Austin sat in his old swing, looking up at the sky. The only thing his brain could do was wonder why he had turned his back on everybody like he did. Even being around his family was awkward, when it used to be so natural. He felt bad for everything he’d put his parents through, even though they’d never stopped loving him. He couldn’t help but feel the weight of how much he hurt them whenever he was around them. That was why, after dinner, he had decided to take a walk by himself in the orchard, hoping it would make him feel better.

The orchard hadn’t changed much since the last time he was in Bluebell Valley. The long walk through the peach trees had given him a lot of time to think. After wondering what he was going to do about his parents and quickly decided it was time to apologize, his thoughts drifted to Sam. Was it really too late for them? Could he change the way she felt? It was a hard task, but he believed deep down that Sam deserved at least an explanation. He couldn’t force her to forgive him, but he could apologize and try to explain why things had gone the way they did.

By the time he finally reached the stream on the other side of the property, the stars were shining bright. His childhood swing was still there and it seemed like the perfect place to ponder over what had happened today.

Sam had been on the defensive the whole time. Could she ever let her guard down again with him? Austin knew that he wanted to see her again, that their story hadn’t ended yet. He didn’t only
want
to see her—he
needed
to. He couldn’t leave Bluebell Valley before he had at least fixed that. His relationship with Sam had been the most precious thing he’d ever had, and he had crushed it. Now that it was broken, it was his to repair. Even if his old best friend didn’t want to see him again, he was determined to give it a try.

Because even though it made no sense to him, he was still in love with Sam. He had broken her heart and kept her far from him for ten years, only to realize she was the only woman he wanted to be with. After seeing her at the liquor store, it had all started making sense: he had never been interested in anyone else because Sam was the only one he could have feelings for.

On top of not being able to resist that feeling that had been inside of him for a decade already, he had a hard time getting her face out of his brain. Sam was even more attractive than she used to be, in a natural way. Even if her fair skin had been burnt by the sun, he still wanted to touch it and feel its softness under his fingers. He wanted to grab her waist, let his hands run on her back and play with her hair. The last thing Austin wanted to do was stay away from the woman who made him feel so many things he never thought he could feel again.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but he felt a new fire in his belly as he realized he was ready to tell Sam everything he never had.

The next morning, Austin was woken up by the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen downstairs. After coming back from his walk, he had gone straight to bed, knowing he would have a big day today.

When he looked at his clock, he realized it was only seven in the morning. He was still tired, but his stomach rumbled at the thought of home-cooked food. He had missed his mother’s cooking more than he wanted to admit. Grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, he headed downstairs. When he arrived, he realized he wasn’t ready for what he saw—the TV crew had turned his parents’ living room upside down and there were cameras everywhere.

“What is all of this?” he asked, looking for William. His friend was supposed to be supervising everything.

“We’re just setting up, don’t worry,” William replied as he came through the kitchen door, chewing on a piece of bacon.

“You said I wouldn’t even notice them,” Austin argued, remembering the conversation he and William had on the plane. He had been worried about the amount of people that were following them, and William had promised that it wouldn’t be as bad as it looked.

It was pretty bad.

“Aren’t they supposed to follow me around? Why are they setting up in here?” Austin asked, wanting a cup of coffee really badly.

“Don’t worry about anything. They want to interview you, your parents, and some friends of yours. Just… go eat something,” William said, pushing Austin toward the kitchen.

Austin didn’t resist and he was greeted by his mother at the stove while William went back in the living room.

“Good morning,” Constance said as Austin sat down at the kitchen table. “Did you sleep well?”

“Surprisingly, I did,” he admitted, wondering how he could have slept through the noise the TV crew was making. It was unmistakable now.

“Here, honey, I hope you’re hungry,” his mother said as she put a plate in front of him. “I made extras for all these people.” She leaned down to be closer to his ear. “I didn’t know there were going to be this many.”

“Me neither,” Austin replied with a smile.

He looked at the woman in front of him. Even if he had cut ties with Bluebell Valley when he had left for MIT, his mother had never stopped calling, never stopped caring. She had supported him all the way, and he felt bad for wanting her out of his life. He realized, as he was eating his breakfast, that she would never stop loving him and that he should stop pushing her away. If he wanted to make things better with Sam, he had to start by making his relationship better with his mother. She deserved to be the most important woman in his life.

“Thanks, Mom,” he said as he noticed that she had made scrambled eggs for him―his favorite when he was a kid. He smiled and started eating.

“Where’s Dad?” Austin asked. Benjamin Cole had always been a shy man and Austin wasn’t surprised to not see him in the house. He preferred to be outside, in his orchard.

“He’s checking the water pump. Apparently, it’s been acting up in the last few days and he has to fix it.”

Austin nodded, wondering if his father would be able to fix it. He had always been a good carpenter, but never a good mechanic. Austin might have to give him a hand later today.

Constance placed a cup of coffee next to his plate as she sat down, holding her own cup. He was happy to see her sit, which was a rare thing around here. His mother was always busy with one task or another. Austin was surprised that with this many people in her house, she was able to be so calm.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she said, grabbing his empty hand on the table. He was glad about it too, even though he knew it was going to be a hard weekend for him. He only had two days here and so many relationships to repair.

“Me too,” Austin replied. “I just started realizing how much I missed this place.” He saw the smile on his mother’s face and couldn’t help but smile too.

“You’re always welcome here. It’s your home, too. Don’t forget that.”

Austin squeezed his mother’s hand, knowing that she meant it. He had missed her a lot, too. She had always been so gentle, so devoted. He needed people like her around.

In New York, all his friends were in it for themselves. Nobody cared about other people’s feelings, unless they wanted something from them. It felt good to know that his mother only wanted him to be happy with no ulterior motives.

“I… I love you, Mom. Don’t forget that,” he whispered with a smile. Even though he had said it casually, it had taken a lot of courage from him to admit it.

When he saw the tears in Constance's eyes, it made things even harder on him. The only thing he knew how to do in these situations was hold the person in his arms. So that’s what he did, wrapping his mother’s fragile body in his strong embrace.

For the first time in years, he realized he was happy. Even if this was only a small glimpse of happiness, it made him feel good. He wanted more.

His mother started moving in his arms and he released her. Constance wiped the tears from her cheeks and pulled on her shirt to make wrinkles disappear. Austin looked at her, confused, and then followed her gaze. Behind him, hidden in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, was a camera. Spying on them.

“What is―” Austin began, bristling as he wondered how much of their exchange they had caught on tape. He hadn’t opened his heart to his mother for the sake of his TV appearance. He didn’t care about that.

“Mom, I’m sorry. They shouldn’t be here,” Austin said, feeling sincerely sorry for her. The TV crew was invading her house and now her privacy. This was too much for him.

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, her smile back on her face. She had been caught off guard, but now she was going to put her best face on for the show.

“Mr. Cole?” a voice called from behind him. When he turned around, he recognized the face of Stacy, the TV show director. She was the mind behind
Billionaire’s Secrets,
the woman he had to listen to. The camera had disappeared and it was only her now.

“Please, call me Austin,” he said, leaving his mother to her oven as he followed Stacy to the living room.

“We’re ready for you, Austin,” she said, pointing to the couch that had been angled so he could get daylight on his face. It was strange for him to sit there and be able to look outside, as it had always been facing the other way.

Stacy flashed him a disapproving look. What had he done wrong?

“I’m sorry, Mr. Cole… er, Austin, but you’re going to have to get dressed better than that.”

Austin had completely forgotten he was still in his sweatpants and t-shirt. That wasn’t exactly the look they wanted for him, even if it was the most comfortable clothes he had worn in a long time.

“Right,” he said, standing up again and going back up to his room. Stacy was going to have to wait a bit longer, because he also decided to jump in the shower. If he had to be Mr. Cole, the businessman, he had to do it properly.

Once he was out of the shower, Austin put on his suit but decided to forego the tie. After all, he was on his parents’ orchard. His unbuttoned shirt felt a lot better. When he went back down, Stacy was smiling at him. He took that as a sign of approval. He sat back down on the couch and a makeup artist came forward with tons of powders.

“While she does that, let me talk you through this,” Stacy said as Austin closed his eyes, letting the woman’s hands take over. “We have a few questions for you about your past here, in Bluebell Valley. Try to be as honest as you can with us. If you have stories to share, please do. The more content we have, the easier it is to choose the best one.”

Austin nodded before he realized that wasn’t something he was supposed to do.

“After we’re done, we’ll interview your parents together. William said he was going to give us a list of your high school friends, but he hasn’t done it. Is there anybody that would be willing to be interviewed, that we should talk to?”

The only person Austin could think of was Sam, but after yesterday, there was no chance she wanted to be interviewed.

“None that I can think of,” he finally answered. Sam would have been the best person to describe who he used to be as a teenager, but that wasn’t going to happen. He had to do that himself.

“Well, if anything comes to mind, let us know,” Stacy replied.

The hands on his face disappeared and Austin risked opening an eye. The makeup lady was back behind the camera and he realized he was alone on his side of the living room. The crew was ready to start filming.

“Let’s start, then,” Stacy said as bright lights were turned on. Austin was blinded for a few seconds before his sight came back. Stacy was going to be the one conducting the interview, so she sat down in the chair in front of him. Austin spotted William in the back of the room. His friend made a thumb’s up and Austin took a deep breath. This was a lot more overwhelming than he’d thought.

“Thank you, Austin Cole, for agreeing to do this with us today,” Stacy said, starting the interview.

“It’s a pleasure,” Austin replied, showing off his brightest smile, the one that had charmed all of New York City. It felt fake, but he didn’t know what else to do.

“We are in your hometown, Bluebell Valley. Can you tell me more about this town and what it means to you?”

“Bluebell Valley is where I was born and raised. My parents own the orchard where we are right now. I’ve spent most of my time here, and it’s the place I call home. I have an older sister. Her name is Nina. She’s seven years older than me and lives in Vancouver. We were never that close, though, because of the age gap. She always preferred playing with her friends over being annoyed by her little brother.” Austin smiled at the audience and the camera as he heard a small laugh coming from the crew. “But it didn’t matter that much at the time, since I spent most of my time with my best friend.”