“Zoe.”
Tate flinched and averted his gaze. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Look, I’ve already had this conversation with Brody an hour ago. I’m tired and impatient so I’ll apologize up front for my bluntness. Brody’s thinking of moving out. Any chance you’re thinking along the same lines?”
Tate didn’t look surprised by Chase’s announcement. Not a good thing. Maybe Tate and Brody had discussed it, although Chase doubted Tate would have discussed his personal feelings for Zoe with anyone.
Tate shrugged and his lips pressed together in a firm line. “I’ve considered it, yeah.”
Chase ran a hand through his hair and wished he didn’t have to get into this all over again with Tate and then go home and rehash it all when Zoe got there. Part of him wished he had the balls to just say fuck it and only focus on his relationship with Zoe. But Zoe was miserable, and he wanted her happy. Tate and Brody were his friends, and he wanted them happy.
“You’re going to get an abbreviated version of what I told Brody, okay? Then you can decide what to do. I can’t make a decision for you.”
Tate frowned and his brow crinkled in confusion as he stared back at Chase. “Okay. Hit me with it.”
“I made some mistakes. I’ll apologize up front about the night with Dillon. It shouldn’t have happened, and it only clouded the issue and made everyone involved damned uncomfortable. I’ve already had this conversation with Zoe. I went too far.
“The other thing I have to apologize for is the fact that I knew before I ever asked you and Brody to participate in Zoe’s fantasy that you both had feelings for her.”
Tate’s gaze narrowed. “You knew?”
“Yeah, I knew.” Chase shoved his hands into his pockets and took a breath. “Look, Zoe has feelings for you too. She’s avoiding us all because she’s worried she hurt you and Brody with her fantasy, that somehow she messed up because of Dillon. Dillon is my fault. Not hers. But I can’t fix this with her without you and Brody. This has to be something that comes from the three of us.”
Tate shook his head and rubbed his palm over his jaw. “You’ve lost me, man.”
“Are you in love with her?” Chase asked bluntly.
Tate’s expression grew impassive. It was like iron bars rolled over his eyes. He was a hard son of a bitch.
“Now that would be pretty damn stupid, wouldn’t it?” Tate asked softly. “Falling for my best friend’s girl?”
“I didn’t ask you if it was stupid. I asked if you were in love with her.”
For a moment Chase thought Tate would deny it. He wore a pinched, pissed-off look that usually meant someone was in trouble. Hell. The last thing he wanted was a fight with his best friend.
Then to Chase’s surprise, Tate’s shoulders sagged, and he leaned back against the truck frame.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “For all the good it’ll do me.”
“Bear with me, okay? Because Zoe gets off soon, and we need to be at the house when she gets there.”
Tate’s brow wrinkled again. “We?”
“Yeah, we. This is going to sound bizarre, but I’m just going to lay it out there. What if . . . What if you could have a relationship with Zoe?”
Tate started to scowl, but Chase held up a hand to silence him before he got started.
“This is a conversation we’re going to have to have with Zoe because in the end it’ll be up to her, but the fact is, the three of us all love her and she loves us. I’m simply proposing that things stay the same. We all live together. Recently we’ve all been making love to her.”
Tate held up both hands, his head shaking in denial. “That’s crazy, Chase. You’re saying you’d be okay with me and Brody having a relationship with Zoe while you are? I’m not even sure what the hell you’re saying because it’s nuts.”
Chase looked down at his watch and blew out his breath in frustration. He knew he wasn’t handling this right. He’d dropped a bomb on Tate, and he didn’t have time to sit here and go through it like he had with Brody. Furthermore he didn’t want to. Not when they were destined to have the conversation all over again when Zoe got home.
“I don’t have time to explain. Think about what I said. If it’s something you’re open to, meet me at the house. Zoe will be home soon, and Brody and I intend to be there when she walks in the door.”
Knowing he’d probably just made a giant clusterfuck of the entire situation, Chase turned and walked over to his truck. Maybe he couldn’t solve the problem for all parties involved, but he damn sure wasn’t going to screw up things between him and Zoe. And maybe that’s all he could control.
CHAPTER
|
EIGHTEEN
She was a live coward. An exhausted, bone-weary coward, but
a chicken nonetheless. Which was stupid, really. No one had said anything to her after the night of the . . . Hell, she didn’t even know what to call it. Gangbang?
She winced. Bad word choice. It might be apropos, but she didn’t have to like it. And the thing was, she enjoyed it. It was sexy and she’d definitely orgasmed long and hard. It was the aftermath where reality caught up to her that squeezed her insides.
Some things . . . Some things just weren’t worth the end result. Something had changed between her and Brody and Tate that night. Something that made her afraid. Like maybe they’d turned a corner they couldn’t go back on.
She needed to talk to them about it, but she was too worried about what they’d say. So she’d avoided them for days, hoping . . . stupidly hoping that if she ignored the problem it would go away.
Add
dumb
to
coward
and you got a stupid chicken.
When Zoe realized she’d been sitting in the driveway for five minutes now, she shook her head and got out of her vehicle. From the looks of things Brody and Chase were both home. Tate was not. Well, two out of three wasn’t bad, and it was a start.
Just before entering the house, she rubbed her damp palms nervously down the legs of her scrubs. What the hell was she afraid of?
Well, she knew; she just didn’t know if her fears were founded or not.
When she walked into the kitchen, she found Chase waiting for her. Or at least she assumed that was what he was doing since he was in the center of the room staring directly at her.
There was a seriousness to his expression that unsettled her. She couldn’t read his eyes, didn’t know if he was angry or upset, or if he was anything at all.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Tough day at work?”
She tried to answer, but her throat was so tight that the words died before they ever hit her tongue. She swallowed and tried again.
“Just tired. Usual stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
She hated this awkwardness between them. They weren’t the type to indulge in meaningless little small talk. And yet here they stood, feet apart, talking about mundane shit. Next they’d actually be discussing the weather.
“We need to talk,” he said in a somber voice. Again, nothing in his expression betrayed what his intent was. So she nodded because they
did
need to talk.
She just wished she weren’t so afraid of the outcome.
He reached out and picked up her hand, his fingers curling around her palm. “Before anything else is said, I need you to know I love you. That’s not going to change no matter what.”
“You’re scaring me,” she whispered.
His eyes softened. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, baby. I just need you to know I love you and nothing’s ever going to change that. Tate . . . Brody and I have some things we need to say to you.”
She glanced around Chase to see Brody leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, his expression tense . . . but hopeful.
The door opened behind her, and she swung around to see Tate standing in the doorway, his eyes dark, his features drawn tight. He looked past her to Chase.
“I’m here,” he said in a low voice. “Am I too late?”
Her brow furrowed as she looked between the two men. What in the hell was going on?
“No, Zoe just got home,” Chase said.
Tate walked in and shut the door behind him. Without another word he walked up to Zoe and surprised her by pulling her into his arms.
“Don’t look so worried,” he murmured against her ear. “We’ll work things out, okay?”
Before she could respond, he tilted her chin up and kissed her, his fingers tangling in her hair as he pulled her closer to him. When he stepped back, she stared at him in bewilderment. He smiled, touched a finger to her swollen lips, and then walked past her toward the living room.
She turned back to Chase, looking for his reaction to what had just occurred.
“Chase, what is going on?”
He held out his hand, palm up. It was a request for her trust. He wanted her to come with him into the living room where Tate and Brody had retreated. As she slid her fingers over his hand, butterflies took wing in her stomach.
Fear and uncertainty gripped her as Chase led her toward the living room. She sensed this moment was huge. Bigger than anything else that might happen in her life. How she handled it would have an impact, not only on her, but on the lives of the three people she loved most in the world.
Neither Tate nor Brody was sitting. They stood in different parts of the room. Tension emanated from them until she could feel their discomfort as keenly as her own.
Had their friendship come to this? Awkward moments where they couldn’t even look at each other without uncertainty? Where they couldn’t talk without some grand production? Had she done this with her avoidance? Had she gone too far with fantasies that should have been confined to pillow talk with Chase?
She didn’t want to lose Tate and Brody. She didn’t want to lose Chase. She took heart from his declaration just a few moments ago. No matter what, he loved her. That wouldn’t change. Right?
But he didn’t speak for Tate and Brody. Only they could do that. And now she was afraid to hear what they had to say.
“I’ll start by offering you the same apology I’ve already offered Tate and Brody,” Chase began in a low voice. “You all need to hear it together because it builds the foundation of everything else we need to discuss.”
Her head swiveled in Chase’s direction. “Apology?” What did he have to apologize for?
Chase nodded slowly. “I had a good idea of what might happen if I asked Tate and Brody to participate in your fantasy. It’s not that I wanted trouble. Quite the opposite, actually. I thought ...”
“He thought there was a possibility that the four of us could share a unique relationship,” Brody said.
She turned in Brody’s direction to see him staring at her, his eyes so intense that she shivered under his scrutiny. “Four?”
“He suspected that we . . . I . . . was in love with you,” Tate said.
“And me,” Brody added quietly.
Her pulse ratcheted up until she could feel it pounding at her temples. “Are you?” she managed to croak out.
“Yes,” Brody answered, his voice tight.
She looked to Tate to see him standing there looking so . . . distant. He hesitated for a long second. Then his gaze found hers, and in that moment she saw raw vulnerability.
“Yes,” Tate finally said in a voice that was almost too low for her to hear “I do. I have. For a long time.”
She opened her mouth, but what could she say? She turned helplessly in Chase’s direction. How could she say anything at all? If she denied her feelings for Tate and Brody, she lost them, surely. But if she said anything, what would that do to Chase?
Chase closed the distance between them and gently cupped his palm to her cheek. “Do you remember what I said in the kitchen? Remember that, Zoe. Nothing that happens,
nothing
, will change the fact that I love you.”
She looked into his eyes and saw not only acceptance, but something else. Approval? Hope? It was then she realized that she wasn’t the only one agonizing over what could be lost here. These guys were friends. Not just her best friends, but each other’s best friends as well.
Slowly she pulled away from Chase and turned to face Tate and Brody. She licked her lips and hoped she had the courage to do the impossible.
“I love you too. Maybe I always have. Not just as friends.” The admission felt better than she imagined. Weight that she’d borne for days lifted, and she felt lighter and freer. “I don’t know what to do, though,” she whispered. “What do we do? I love Chase too. I don’t want to hurt any of you. I swear I never meant for this to happen.”
This time Brody came to her and shushed her with a gentle finger to her lips. His eyes were alight with relief and understanding, but an edge of worry still shadowed his gaze.
“You aren’t to blame, Zoe. Neither is Chase, though he seems determined to shoulder it all. I could have said no. I knew what would happen. I also know I don’t want to lose you.”
She stared helplessly up at him. “Then how?”
Tate and Chase gathered until the four of them formed a loose circle in the middle of the room. Tate stared fiercely at Chase.
“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Tate demanded.
“I meant it,” Chase said quietly. “But it’s not up to me. It’s Zoe’s decision.”
“What are you talking about?” Zoe asked as she searched each of their faces for some sign of what was going on between them.
Brody touched her cheek again and took a step back so that she was surrounded by the three men.
“It sounded so complicated when Chase brought it up earlier,” Brody said. “And now it seems so simple. He was right when he asked me if I would care about anything other than that you had accepted it.”
Confusion clouded her mind. “Accepted what?”
Tate stared directly into her eyes. “Us.”
Chase’s hand slid up her arm and then squeezed her shoulder. “The three of us, baby. We love you. You love us. We don’t want to lose you and I don’t think you want to lose any of us. What we propose . . . what we want to try . . . is the four of us. We already live together in this house. We’ve made love to you. We would continue our current . . . relationship. The four of us. You’d be with Brody and Tate. Not just me.”