Fox Girl (33 page)

“I got lost,” I panted, bending down to adjust the straps on my shoes.

Sookie held up her hand. “Don't tell me,” she said. “You went back to check on that kid.” She shook her head. “I told you she'd mess you up.”

I glared at her. “And I told you, I'd deal with it.”

“So deal with it,” Sookie said.

Chinke hurried over. “Yoon's been asking about you,” she warned. “Don't tell her I know where you went, okay?”

Though I expected her to, Yoon never asked where I was. She just glared at me, opened her notebook and scribbled something next to my name.

Despite warnings from the other girls, I continued to use my breaks to check on Myu Myu. Most nights, the NyQuil kept her in deep sleep, and I was able to get back to the club before Yoon started docking my time. Twice, however, Myu Myu was awake and crying so loud I could hear her from the sidewalk outside the apartment building. I comforted her as best as I could, pacing the room while marking the minutes on the clock, then gave her another dose of NyQuil. After a few weeks, I had to start the night with a double dose of NyQuil, though some nights not even that much of the drug would be enough to keep her from crawling around and crying for my return.

One night when I went to check on her, I didn't hear crying as I unlocked the door. At first I was relieved, thinking that Myu Myu had slept since I left her. As I walked toward our corner of the room, however, I heard gagging. I rushed over, stumbling on the pillows I used to confine her. Myu Myu was tangled in the blanket, facedown in the futon and choking. I flipped her over. Eyes rolling up into her head, her body spasmed, limbs clenched and jerking. She heaved, bile bubbling from her throat, suffocating in her own vomit. I cleared out her mouth, placed her over my knees and slapped her back. She coughed, then after a brief moment of quiet, cried. I held her against me, cheek to cheek, crooning.

I refused to leave Myu Myu behind again that night, and brought her with me when I returned to Foxa Hawai‘i. Carrying her in a cardboard box cushioned with my clothes, I tried to smuggle her into the kitchen. But Yoon was waiting for me.

“Where have you been?” she screeched.

I ducked my head. “I'm sorry, Mrs. Yoon. This won't happen again.”

“Damn right it won't!” She pulled me into one of the backrooms. “Don't think I don't know. You've been disappearing every night! You're working the streets for extra money, aren't you?”

I jiggled the box, hoping Myu would remain quiet despite Yoon's yelling. “No, no, that's not it,” I whispered.

“I don't like liars and I don't like cheaters,” Yoon screamed, flecking spittle into my face. “You're both. In Korea, I thought you were something special. Here, when you do show up for work, you dance like a robot, nothing like you did in Foxa Korea.”

“Half the things I did in Korea are against the law in America,” I retorted. But I realized that that might be the only difference; though I was three thousand miles away from Korea, I was still trapped in America Town.

“Phah!” Yoon spat. “Only if you get caught.” She eyed the box I carried, distracted from her tirade. “What is that?”

“Just some clothes,” I stammered, trying to back away from her.

“This bar is not one storage closet,” she scolded, yanking my arm so that I almost dropped the box. “And don't you dare walk away from me. I'm not—”

Startled by the sudden violent motion of her cradle, Myu Myu cried out.

“Don't tell me you brought that fucking
tweggi
to my club! How dare you!” Yoon yelled. “What did I tell you about handling this problem?”

Myu Myu pushed the top of the carton, popping her head out. She whimpered, grasping at my chest.

“I'll handle it,” I said.

“Now you've made it my problem.” Yoon shoved me toward the door. “And that's it. I've had it with you. Get out. Get out of my club.”

I clucked to Myu Myu as Yoon propelled us from the backroom. The other girls and their customers looked up, gawking at me carrying a baby in a box. I caught Sookie's eyes—black and empty, unreadable in the dark—only for a moment before she turned her back on me. “I'll get a baby-sitter for her, Mrs.—”

“Don't bother,” Yoon said, shaking her head. “You're not coming back here. You can pay off your debt to me from Korea.”

I hid in the parking lot, behind the Dumpsters, waiting for closing time. Chinke, Froggie, and Lulu hopped in a taxi after the last of the customers stumbled out the door. Almost an hour later, Sookie walked out with Yoon. “I didn't know what she was up to,” Sookie said. “I told her that baby was going to drag her down. I begged her to leave it behind.”

Yoon fussed with the lock on the door. “Mmmmmm,” she mumbled. Sookie nodded. “I'm a hard worker. You'll see.”

Yoon stomped off, walking past the trash bins to get to her car.

I hunched deeper into the shadows, peeking into the box to make sure Myu Myu was still asleep.

Sookie waved as Yoon pulled out of her parking space. Yoon stared out her window without bothering to glance in Sookie's direction. Sookie dropped her hand, her smile fading. “Bitch,” she said. She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked out at the street. After a few minutes she smiled, once again raising her hand.

This was what I was waiting for.

The car Sookie waved forward wasn't Yoon's blue sedan, but a white wagon of some sort. Squashed in the driver's seat, his bulk pressed against the wheel so snugly that he had to suck in his stomach to turn into the space next to Sookie, was Fat Danny.

Balancing the box, I leaped forward and almost fell because my legs had fallen asleep. “Sookie,” I gasped, stomping the feeling back into my feet.

Sookie whirled around, her mouth opening when she saw me. She gulped air like a fish. “What are you doing here?” she hissed.

“I need you to take me somewhere.”

“The only place you're going is Korea.” She narrowed her eyes. “You are on your own.”

Electricity ran up and down my legs; I had to fight a desperate laugh. I made my voice mean. “If you don't want to end up back in America Town with me, you better help me now.”

“Sookie?” Fat Danny leaned his bulk toward the passenger-door window. “You ready?” He grinned when he saw me, waved his hand. The meat under his elbow quivered.

Sookie ignored him. “What are you talking about, Hyun Jin? You can't make me do anything.”

I smiled at Fat Danny. “Hello, Danio!” I sang out. “You give me ride tonight?” To Sookie, I asked: “What would Yoon say when she finds out you've been going home with Fat Danny almost every night, cheating her out of her commission?”

“Get in the back,” Sookie ordered, opening the back door.

I slid Myu Myu into the rear seat and jumped in. The warm vinyl stuck to my skin even though the windows were down and the night air was cool.

Fat Danny nodded at me. His glasses slid down his nose, revealing the deep indentations where they had rested under his eyes. He pushed them back up with a chunky middle finger. “Sure, sure, Hunni,” he said. “Where you like go?”

“Just drive,” Sookie snapped. “Get us out of here.”

Fat Danny fumbled with the transmission. “Did I come at a bad time?” he asked. “I did like you said, waited for Yoon's blue Caddy for drive away . . .”

“You did good,” Sookie assured him, patting his thigh. “That was good thinking. You are so smart.”

I rolled my eyes at Sookie's verbal and physical stroking and lifted Myu Myu from the box. She was wet through her clothes and had soaked the contents of the carton as well. Myu Myu's fingers clenched; she clung to me even in sleep.

Sookie turned around and glared at me. “Where are we going?”

“Give me a minute,” I said. “Let me think.” I rummaged through the box for a dry scrap of cloth, and cleaning Myu as well as I could as she sat on my lap, changed her diaper. When she stirred, I stuck a finger in her mouth until she settled back into sleep.

“Why didn't you use your brain before this moment?” Sookie threw her hands into the air. “I don't get how you're supposed to be so smart. Was it smart to bring the kid to Yoon's place? To America? Even into this world?”

“Talk English,” grumbled Fat Danny, interrupting. The rolls on the back of his neck glistened with sweat. I remembered what Froggie had told me about him: she said that she hated going into the backroom with him because of the folds of fat she had to lift just to find his penis; the creases smelled, she said, like the wax you cleaned out of your ears.

“Okay, okay. Hyun Jin say thank you for driving her to—” Sookie broke off, raising her brows at me. Before I could answer, she said, “To the airport. She say, Danio really one nice guy. Handsome, too,” she added, giggling. “I say that, not her.”

“Airport?” I yelped. “You're doing Yoon's dirty work—sending me back to Korea? Now—just like that?”

Fat Danny glanced at me through the rearview mirror. “You're welcome,” he said, smiling. His jowls jiggled with the car's engine. Even from the backseat, I could see the large, glistening pores on his nose, ripe with black oil.

Sookie said, “I never told you you had to go back to Korea. But you do need to leave Hawai‘i. Now. Before you drag us both down.”

“But—” I gaped. “What about Yoon?”

Sookie grinned, reminding me of her younger self. “I'll tell Yoon you ran.” She shrugged. “What could I do? You always were faster than me.”

“English,” scolded Fat Danny. “Speak English.”

I shut my mouth and Sookie squared her body to the front, refusing to look at me. At the airport, Fat Danny missed the departure ramp, so we had to circle around again. Sookie betrayed her impatience with a cluck of her tongue.

“Terrible signs,” Fat Danny muttered, then asked: “What airline?”

“Stop,” Sookie said. She tapped him on the arm and pointed out the window.

“But if you tell me what airline,” he said, “I can take her right—”

“No need.” Sookie cut him off. When the car edged the curb, she jumped out, then flung my door open. “Get out,” she said in Korean. “I tell her,” she added in English for Fat Danny, “ ‘we're here.' ”

I shook my head. “I'm not ready,” I said, shaken by the danger of possibilities. “Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do?”

Fat Danny turned his head as much as he was able and looked at me from the sides of his small piggy eyes. “We stay at the wrong airline terminal?” He frowned at Sookie, his eyes shrinking even more into the flesh surrounding the sockets. “I told you for ask what airline she flying.” He tilted his head back at me. “United? American? TWA?”

“Danio,” she sighed. “Can you get that box for Hyun Jin? Please? Thank you.” She tapped her foot as she watched Fat Danny strain to push himself free of the front seat. He panted as he grabbed hold of the door frame. Grunting, he hoisted himself onto his feet and paused to press at the sweat along his hairline.

Suddenly, Sookie swooped in and grabbed Myu Myu from my lap. Myu wailed, gripping my shirt and tangling a fist into my hair. I scooted out quickly. “Good,” Sookie said. “Now disappear. This is the only chance you're going to get.”

“What about you?” I asked. “Come with me.”

She grimaced at Fat Danny, who was tugging the carton of clothes from the back. “I'm better off here, taking my chance on him. He can pay my way out from under Yoon. Then maybe I'll start my own bar. I've seen enough to know how it all works.”

“Yeah?” I nodded. “I can help.”

She stared at me, her face blank, her expression flat. “No.” I studied Myu Myu, dangling from Sookie's arms. With both of them looking at me, I realized for the first time that they had the same eyes. “I don't want to leave you,” I whispered.

Sookie gazed at Myu Myu, cupping her cheek in the same way she told me she had touched me when I was born. Then she thrust the baby into my arms so quickly I almost dropped her. “How much cash you got?”

Picturing the wad of bills rolled in the money purse at my waist, I said, “Two hundred. Maybe.”

“Fat Danny,” Sookie yelled, leaning into the front seat. “Pass my purse.” Fat Danny grunted as he tipped over the front seat to nudge Sookie's purse toward her. Bent over, the bulk of his body wedged in the door frame, Fat Danny wheezed and sucked in his breath when he tried to back out.

“Never mind.” Sookie rolled her eyes as she reached into the car and plucked up her handbag. She pulled out a roll of money and handed it to me. “Here's another hundred. You should have enough for a ticket to the mainland. I heard L.A.'s good. Lots of Koreans there. Lots of work.”