Free Pass (Free Will Book 1) (11 page)

Chapter Twenty-seven
 

Stretching widely, I opened my eyes to Jake's sleeping face. Dark lashes rested on his cheeks. His scruffy beard darkened the lower half of his face. I still couldn't believe he grew a beard simply because I asked him to.

His wiry arm held me close. I eased from under it and headed to the bathroom. He'd barely moved when I returned. I lit up my phone to check the time. 5:25. I slid back beneath the sheets and cuddled up to his warm, naked body.

His breathing shuddered. Did I wake him? He shifted and his arm tightened around me. His breathing evened back out and I relaxed. Should I wake him like he woke me Monday?

If I wasn't so tired, maybe. Right then, I wanted to snuggle into his chest and catch a few more Zzzs.

His alarm woke us an hour later. Jake knocked it off the nightstand. It continued to blare from the floor. He half-fell out of the bed fumbling for it, cursing.

Once he managed to shut the damn thing off, he leaned over me. His eyes remained dull with sleep, but the smile on his face was bright. Dropping his head to mine, he brushed his lips across my forehead, whispering "Good morning, love."

Each time he called me
'love'
, my hopeful heart fluttered. My smile must have been every bit as bright as his. I slid my arms around him, wanting to hold him for a bit longer. I had class, and Jake work, but these sweet moments were what relationships were about. His arms kept me pinned to his chest. His rough hand drug up and down my back. My contented sigh earned me a squeeze. I giggled and he kissed me—soft, slow. Unlike Monday, this wasn't sexual. Emotion was at the forefront of this embrace.

Rising from bed, from each other, was a chore. One that we knew must be attended to, but dreaded nonetheless. He gave me a T-shirt and some sweats to put on, since I hadn't brought a change of clothes.

He dropped me off at my apartment on his way to work. I would be pushing it to get to class on time, but needed to grab my backpack, laptop, and shoes. Sweats and three inch heels? Couldn't wear that to class. My neighbor lifted an eyebrow as I walked by. I was totally doing a walk of shame. Except I was not a bit ashamed.

When I walked in, Kelsey took one look at me and spewed coffee down her front. "Oh my gosh! Did you even read the shirt he gave you to wear?" she finally managed to choke out, once she finished drying her face. Dabbing at the coffee on her shirt, she was still laughing.

"What?" I hadn't read it. I looked down and couldn't help but laugh myself then. My shirt read:
'It's my brother's fault'
.

Smart ass. Of course he would give me a shirt like this. I texted him.

Me: Well played. I should have read the shirt before I put it on, huh? You owe Kelsey for dry-cleaning the coffee spit out of her shirt.

Jake: Seemed appropriate. Tell her to bill me.

I made it to class on time and with a smile on my face. Randy waited outside when I came out after. "Hey Laney, Austin asked me to wait for you. He wanted to talk to you about something but lost his phone. Wanted to see if you'd meet him at the cafeteria after your next class. I told him I'd tell you."

"Okay." What the heck could Austin want? I hadn't seen him since the weekend. Not since our breakfast together.

Randy tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. I stepped back and he smiled at me. Reaching out, Randy laid his hand on my forearm. "Austin told me you guys are seeing other people. Busy tonight?"

Randy was hitting on me?
Holy crap.
My mouth gaped open and I just stared at him. He was completely delicious, but I was not interested. Not even a little bit.

Kelsey walked up then. She smirked at me, eyes twinkling with mirth, and I knew she'd overheard. "Laney's off-limits, Hot Stuff. I'm willing to give you a go though."

She stepped between us and grabbed the strap of Randy's backpack. "If you can handle me, that is." He looked absolutely gob smacked. When she sashayed away, he trailed behind her. If anyone could take playboy Randy down a notch or two, it's Kelsey.

Distracted, I walked to my next class. I missed part of the lecture, deep in thought. What could Austin have to talk to me about now? Hadn't we said all there was to say the other day? While I wanted to stay friendly with Austin, especially since I hoped to be dating his brother long-term, I didn't want to have solo lunch dates with him.

Nothing for it, but to see what he wanted though. I had to give the butterflies in my stomach a good talking to. The little bastards, I told them I'd bring a net. This was just Austin. It's nothing. No reason at all to be nervous and fluttering about.

He was already in the cafeteria when I walked through the doors. The blonde leaning against him held his attention. He didn't notice me. I stood next to them and tapped my foot impatiently. Why did he invite me to lunch when he already had a date?

She was the one who finally noticed they had a new addition to their party. When she nudged him and nodded toward me, he finally looked up. "Oh hey, Laney, uh... This is Kara."

Kara? This was the slut he cheated on me with in Destin! Now he wanted to introduce us?
Oh, screw that.
She was welcome to him. Shaking my head at him, I turned to walk away.

"Laney, wait, please!" he called out. He grabbed my arm and his grip held me in place. Glaring up at him, I waited for him to speak. If I opened my mouth right now, it wouldn't be good. My mother's voice filtered through my rage to whisper,
'If you don't have anything nice to say, bite your damn tongue.'

"I, uh, well, I know Kara may be the last person you want to meet. But, uh, she's transferring up here next term, and we're going to try and make a go of it. I wanted to tell you in person, rather than you hear it through campus gossip."

Why couldn't I have the power to set people on fire with only a glare? For one day. Hell, I only needed a minute.

When Austin didn't burst into flame, I responded. "You can date anyone you choose. I don't care if you fuck Kara, that red-haired slut you brought to your parents' anniversary, or every cheerleader on the squad. I do wonder why you felt the need to shove her in my face though."

Should have bit my tongue longer.

"I shouldn't shove her in your face? Laney, you are wearing
my brother's
shirt. You still have a hickey on your neck that
my brother
left there. I heard you fucking
my brother
Saturday night." His raised voice drew a lot of attention. The clatter of dropped silverware and uptick in whispers made that crystal fucking clear.

"Maybe he had a feeling I'd run into you when he gave me this particular shirt this morning. Read it. It's a true statement. This entire situation? Entirely on you." My voice had gone all high-pitched by the time I ended that rant, and I stomped away before the tears I held back poured down my face.

I didn't make it quite to my apartment before the dam broke and tears ran full-force down my cheeks. One of my neighbors asked if I was alright. I ignored her and forced my key into the lock. It took several tries before I managed to let myself in the door.

I threw myself on the couch and let all it all out. I held nothing back. Face down in Kelsey's knitted throw, I cried until I couldn't. Until every drop of moisture had been wrung from my tear ducts. I cried for the friendship I thought Austin and I might have salvaged. For the relationship I hoped Jake and I would have. For the embarrassment of the entire school knowing Austin cheated on me and that I'd slept with his brother.

That's when I stopped. Was I embarrassed to have slept with Jake? Oddly enough, no. But that didn't mean I wanted Austin to go screaming at me in front of the entire campus about it either.

I dried my eyes with the throw. It needed a wash now. Covered in sweat, tears, and… eww gross, was that snot? It was not fit to be out anymore so I tossed it in the dirty laundry.

A shower made me feel marginally better. But nothing would hide the red, puffy proof I had spent the afternoon bawling. I put Jake's shirt back on with a pair of my jeans. It made me feel closer to him to keep wearing his shirt. I wished it smelled like him.

The knock at the door surprised me. Did Jake get off early? I opened it to see Austin standing there, a box in his hands.

"What the hell do you want? Didn't you say all that you had to earlier?"

He pushed past me and set the box carefully on the table before speaking. "I didn't mean for things to go that far today. I just wanted... I thought... Hell, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry. I, uh, I brought the stuff you left at my place."

"Austin. Just go, please." My energy gone, I collapsed on to the couch.

He sat next to me and I ended up in his arms. The familiarity brought the sting of fresh tears. His lips brushed my forehead. "I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

My head fell to rest on his shoulder. We didn't speak. Just sat and grieved what might have been. But, it's not meant to be. Change was hard, but we would be happier apart. And we both knew it...

Chapter Twenty-eight
 

I pulled in and parked next to Laney's car. I got out of the Jeep and stared up at the front of her building. She hadn't answered my texts earlier, but she hadn't cancelled.

"Hey Loverboy," Kelsey called as she walked up the sidewalk.

"Hey," I called back.

She walked up to me and looped her arm through mine. "So... you got it bad for my girl up there, right? You aren't going to fuck her over like that damn brother of yours, or I'm going to fuck you up. You feel me?"

I laughed, but I'm pretty sure she was serious. She had a smile on her face, but a hardness in her eyes made it clear that she was not as fragile as she looked.

She let me go and opened the door to their apartment. "Oh fuck."

Laney and Austin sat cuddled up on the couch. Hell, she was practically sitting in his damn lap. My heart nearly broke. I plastered a weak smile on my face that I'm pretty sure fooled no one. "Maybe I should have called first?"

I turned to leave, and Austin shoved Laney off him. I knew I should just walk, but I couldn't stay quiet when I saw the redness around her eyes. "Were you crying? If he makes you cry so much, why would you stay with him?"

"I..."

"No, I don't want to hear some lame excuse about how you've loved him for years! Damn it. Can't you see what's right before your eyes? You and Austin. Will. Never. Work. He doesn't love you back. Can't you see that?"

Kelsey said, "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. Laney, you want to tell us what's going on?"

"I... We just... Austin and I had an argument and we were just..."

"What Laney's trying to say is, I brought the stuff she'd left at my place back. We'd had a fight earlier and were just trying to make nice again. No big deal." Austin stood and crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

I glared at him. "I hope you are happy. Because I'm sure as fuck not."

How could I be happy? I was watching Austin take her back from me. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Laney laid a hand on my arm and I shrugged her hand off. With a growl, I put my fist through the wall and stomped away.

She called after me, but I didn't slow down. I couldn't deal with this shit. Did she want me, or did she want him? She needed to make up her damn mind and quit dicking us both around.

Chapter Twenty-nine
 

Ouch. Opening my eyes freaking hurt this morning. Ugh, I needed to remember that before going on another marathon crying jag.

Damn Austin. Damn Jake.

I grabbed my phone. No missed calls. No unread text messages.

Shit.

Should I call first? What did I say? "It wasn't what it looked like?" I mean, it really wasn't. But how clichéd was it to say that? Should I try to explain?

Maybe I'd text him. Test the waters and see how pissed he was before jumping in head first. But what should I write?

My thumbs moved across the screen.

Me: Hey Jake, I wanted to see if you...

No.
Backspace, backspace.

Me: I’m sorry about...

No. I didn't do anything wrong. Jake misread the situation. I won't apologize. I wasn't in the wrong here. He was.

Crap.

Me: I love you.

I stared at that one for a minute. No, I wasn't in love with Jake yet, was I? Besides,
'I love you'
wasn't something you first said in a text message.

Kelsey knocked and peeked her head in. "Hey sweetie, you up yet?"

One look at me and, in the space of a couple seconds, she climbed into bed with me. "Those Davidson men are asses. Look at what they've done to my girl! I say forget them both and come out with me tonight. We'll get all slutted up and go dancing. Whatdya say?"

"I love you, Kels. But I'm not sure if I am up for it."

"Okay then, we'll Netflix us a chick flick and curl up with a tub a-piece of Ben & Jerry's." She held me close and reminded me once more that I had the world's best friend. "Who needs men?"

My phone buzzed and she snatched it from me before I could read the text.

"Well, well, Jerkface Jake wants to know if you'll go out with him again, even though he was an ass last night. His words, not mine. But I damn well agree with his assessment."

"He wants to see me?" Hope bubbled up within me. Jake extended the olive branch, so to speak, and set my heart aflutter.

"That's what this says." She handed me my phone. I swiped my thumb across the screen to bring his message back up.

Jake: Have dinner with me tonight??? I'm an ass.

I struggled to read the message through the tears.

"You gonna go?" Kelsey asked, concern heavy in her voice. Brushing my hair back, she met my eyes. She answered herself with a shake of her head. "Of course you are. You're still crazy about him."

"I am. God help me, but I am."

"Well, we gonna spend the afternoon getting you all prettied up. Show that man what he's 'bout to lose. Right?"

The acknowledgment I gave was feeble, but Kelsey powered on. Her voice muffled by layers of clothes, all I can see was her backside as she dug through the wreckage in my closet. She resurfaced with a dress I'd bought several months back, but never worn.

"How 'bout this?"

"I don't know. It was too snug on, I'd planned to return it but lost the receipt."

"Hmm. Well, try it on for me."

I indulged her and shimmied into the snug dress. The A-line skirt skimmed beautifully over my wide hips. The plunging back could only be pulled off by someone lacking in the bust department, such as myself.

"Damn, Laney, it looks fantastic! Too snug, my ass! That shit fits you perfectly."

I glanced in the mirror and had to do a double-take. She was right. It wasn't too tight after all. It looked like it was made for me, not straight off the rack. Those torturous crunches I'd subjected myself to had paid off. Running my hands over the silky material, I contemplated wearing it tonight.

"But what if he just wants to go get a burger or something? I'll be way overdressed."

"We want to make him hungry. What kinda food y'all get ain't important! You just let me handle this. Kelsey's gonna make you mouth-watering. Jake Davidson'll be smacking his own mama to get a taste of you tonight."

Diving back in my closet, she tossed out a pair of heels. "These are perfect. Add a little height to make him dream about them legs of yours wrapped around his waist."

"Maybe these? He's got a thing for garters." I pulled some hose and such out of my drawer.

"Don't all men, honey?" she laughed.

Well, she might be right. But, he loved when I wore the garters before. To show him what he would be losing, I needed to be the most desirable me I could be. That meant a sexy dress, heels to make my legs look awesome, and undergarments that screamed
'fuck me'
.

"You gonna text him back and say yes?" Kelsey prompted.

Oh shit, I never answered him!
Tripping over my laundry, I flailed trying to keep myself upright. I stumbled into the nightstand. Searing pain stabbed through me and I just knew I had broken my hip. Holy crap that hurt. Tears of pain, physical pain, filled my eyes this time.

"You okay, girl?"

I nodded, but tears crept down my cheeks. Snatching up my stupid phone, I text him back.

Me: Pick me up at 6. Better make it nice.

Once I could open my mouth without releasing a scream, I whimpered, "That's gonna leave a mark."

Kelsey and I left for class, but not before I debated grabbing an ice pack to put on my aching hip. We made plans to meet after our last class, so she could help me with my hair and makeup. Kelsey was the best friend a girl could ask for. I told her that and she laughed, telling me I'd do the same for her. She's right. I had done the same for her.

Class today was just review for finals. This semester couldn't be over fast enough. Except my summer plans were still up in the air. Kelsey was going back to Georgia for the summer so I'd have to pay for our apartment alone. How on earth I'd be able to afford that, I didn't know.

"Lost in your own world today, hmmm?" a soft voice interrupted my thoughts. Startled, I glanced around to see my entire class had left and I sat there alone, just me and my professor. My face heated, and I stuttered out an apology.

"A lot on your mind, I suppose?" Professor Anderson actually looked interested. But there was no way I'd blab all this out on her. Nope, not happening.

"Yes, ma'am," I answered, gathering up my things. "I'm sorry again for being so distracted."

She let me walk out without saying anything else. I counted my blessings on that one. She's known to be a nosy one. I'd spent two hours daydreaming about Jake and summer plans. Not a good sign.

I had to get my life straight—Jake or no Jake. This had to end.

Kelsey'd beat me back to our apartment. Her makeup case all laid out on the table, she was ready for me. "Hey girl, you wanna go ahead and shower? We will get your hair done, then do your makeup."

I turned the water on and waited for it to get hot. My reflection caught my attention. The puffiness around my eyes was going down, thank God. Maybe with makeup, I wouldn't look too bad.

The heat and steam eased some of the tension from my shoulders. I stood under the stinging spray and prayed tonight went well. Austin was my past, and I wanted Jake to be my future. But he couldn't stay jealous. Austin and I wanted to keep something of a friendship. Jake needed to be understanding of that. But if it came down to a choice between which of them would be in my life, Jake had to know I would pick him. Surely he could see that?

The last droplets of warmth disappeared into the ether and left me with an outpouring of near ice water. Wet, slipping feet fought me as I attempted to climb the glass to get away from the frigid water. I'd allowed my daydreams to force me into a cold shower.
Awesomeness.

Wrapped in my fuzzy robe, I turned myself over to Kelsey's talented hands. With a little coaxing, she wrangled my hair into a complicated, sophisticated look. Why could I never make my hair do that?

Then, for makeup. Kelsey dabbed and blended, rubbing and smoothing. She painted my face with the modern-day equivalent of war paint. For war, I fought. A battle of love, for Jake's love. And this battle I fully intended to win. My future happiness depended on it.

Could I be happy without him? Maybe so, but I didn't want to be. Each time Jake crossed my mind, my heart leapt, crying out that he's the one. My soul pled for me to keep him around, for his love filled my missing piece.

Tonight, I'd show him what he had to lose. Tonight, he'd see what's at stake. And maybe, just maybe, he'd be willing to fight for me.

Kelsey helped me finish getting ready. "You gonna knock that man's socks off, girl. He won't know what hit him."

"Thanks, Kels," I whispered. And I had to admit, I looked damn good. I almost looked as good as that drawing Jake made of me.

I gave her a big hug and tried not to cry. If I blubbered all over the beautiful makeup after she'd just spent all that time on making me perfect, Kelsey'd probably kick my ass.

When you stood waiting and ready, the knock seemed to take ages to come. I opened the door and his mouth dropped. That's the response I'd hoped for. Rendering a gorgeous man speechless was quite a confidence booster.

Jake advanced, his physical presence pushing me into the apartment. I gasped when he backed me into the wall. His intensity took my breath away, like a gust of wind ushering in a storm.

His body pinned me to the wall and his forehead rested against mine. Wordless, ragged breaths fanned over my face silently screaming his desire. My hand came up to finger his tie, the silken fabric a textural tease. His fingers brushed against my cheek, and I shuddered at his first gentle touch. Why could we say so much more when neither of us spoke a single word?

His movement sent the musky scent of his cologne wafting up to my nose. It was intoxicating, and I wanted to press myself to him. To be so close to him that the orange blossoms and woodsy vanillas of my perfume clung to his heated skin. No, I couldn't give in to him. He owed me an apology first.

His lips crushed against mine. Releasing the tie, I pushed against his chest, while my other hand came up to tangle in his hair. His kiss kindled a spark deep within me, which soon became a raging blaze of desire. The fire between us melted my resistance and I clung to him.

The open back of my dress tempted his roaming hands. His tender caress brought out goose bumps, and I moaned. Kelsey's cough broke through the smoky haze in my mind, and I remembered I should be upset. That he needed to earn back the right to curl my toes with his scorching kisses. Every ounce of self-control within me I wrangled into pushing him away. The burn of an unfinished kiss hung between us.

Jake groaned, trying to recapture my lips with his own. But I didn't allow it. "No, we need to talk. I can't do this right now."

Eyes heavy with desire, he stepped back. Holding my hands in his, he agreed, "You're right, we do. You look amazing. I'm gonna have a hard time keeping my hands off you."

He gave a little tug, trying to pull me back to him. When I resisted, he grinned at me. "Are you ready to go then?" he finally asked.

Kelsey shoved my purse between us, and nudged us out the door. He tucked me into the Jeep, but didn't try to kiss me again. When he turned into his drive, I wondered if he had lost his ever-loving mind.

"I thought we were going out? If you think I'm just going to sleep with you and that makes it all better, you're wrong."

A hurt look flashed briefly across his face. "I just wanted to have a little privacy, considering everything. Trust me?"

"Okay..."

His eyes brightened at my agreement, and he rewarded me with a soft smile. I'd give him a chance, anything, for that smile. When he tugged me closer, and my body craved his very touch, that's when it hit me.

I was in trouble.

My willpower didn't have the best track record with resisting him. He didn't try to kiss me again and I was thankful. We needed to talk.

Walking backward into the house, he pulled me along into the dining room. We stepped through the doorway and I gasped. A beautiful bouquet of red tulips graced the center of the table. The lights were dim, soft music played, and candlelight flickered softly. My heart fluttered at the romantic scene before me. Jake had really made an effort.

Bringing my hand up, he brushed a kiss over my wrist. The soft sweep of his lips set my pulse racing.

He grunted when he noticed the effect he had on me. "I'm sorry, Laney. I shouldn't have flipped out about you and Austin hanging out."

Damn right, he should be sorry. I did nothing wrong. With a lifted eyebrow, I waited for him to continue. Two sentences was not enough apology for his little hissy fit.

"Austin is still your boyfriend. And that kills me. I saw you with him and lost it. This isn't much of an excuse, but I was jealous. Plain and simple."

"I figured that much out on my own." He wanted forgiveness, he'd have to work for it. It was too soon for him to think he can yell at me over nothing and us be all good.

He pulled a chair out for me and nudged me toward it. Sinking down into it, I expected him to sit across from me. He didn't. No, he dropped to his knees beside me. "Laney, I'm an ass. I had no right to yell at you like that. I won't apologize for what I said. Every word I said, I believe to be the truth, and I stand behind that. But the delivery was inappropriate."