Free Pass (Free Will Book 1) (15 page)

Chapter Forty
 

Jake took a sharp turn into the high school parking lot. Coming to an abrupt stop, he slammed the Jeep into park. Hand tangling in my hair, he drug me toward him. His lips crashed into mine. The console between us dug into my side, but it didn't keep me from leaning as close to him as I could. When we broke apart, we both gasped for air.

He rested his forehead against mine. "I don't want to lose this. I want more. I'm not ready to give you up, Laney. Please," he whispered.

My heart pounded against the cage of my ribs, threatening to break free and fly away. Was he about to tell me how he really felt? Was I going to find out what I need to know without having to force it?

He released me and threw the car into gear without another word.

What the hell?
That's it? My wishful heart excited too easily. Jake wasn't about to spout off a confession of love. Nope. Just saying he wanted more isn't love. It could still be entirely about the mind-blowing sex.

I needed to know that it's
more
than sex between us.

We pulled up at Free Will Bridal and he walked in holding my hand. My parents invited him to join us for dinner after they closed up, but he declined. What? I'd thought he was going to spend tonight with me.

"You need some time to make your choice." He shook his head and gave a disbelieving sort of laugh. "And, God help me, I'm going to do my damnedest to accept it. I've told you I want more. But I can't decide for you."

He leaned in close enough I could see the flecks of gold in his eyes, the single freckle next to his left nostril. I inhaled sharply when his hot breath rushed over my cheek. His mouth settled over mine and moved in gentle, addictive motions. When he traced his tongue along my upper lip, I melted. His strong arms held me tight to his chest, supporting me since my knees refused. He deepened the kiss, his tongue twirling around mine.

A needy moan reached my ears, and I realized too late it came from me. My arms came up to wrap around his neck, and I shifted trying to satisfy the ache within me. His taste intoxicated me. He pulled me in like a moth to a flame and I couldn't get enough. I would
never
get enough.

My dad cleared his throat and called, "That's enough." I considered patricide for the first time in my life. Didn't he understand this could be our last kiss?

At my dad's words, Jake softened the kiss. It became, not a kiss of passion, but one of reluctant farewell. He released his grip on me and whispered in my ear, "Goodbye, love. It's up to you now if this goes any further." He then turned and walked out the door.

"Well, that was, uh, interesting to see," my mom said. I raised an eyebrow at her, interesting how? She continued, "I don't recall seeing Austin kiss you with such intensity."

"That would be because he didn't. Ever," I replied. It's true. Austin had never kissed me with such passion, such intensity. Not even when we were intimate...

"You made up your mind yet?" Dad asked. I glanced over at him, and the little smirk on his face had me rolling my eyes.

"I don't know. What if I pick Jake and find out he only wants, you know... sex? That's what I'm worried about, Daddy." Saying the word sex in a sentence to my dad—so freaking awkward.

"He came to the hospital to visit your sick Granny after only a week. Darling, I am positive he wants more than physical satisfaction." Mom's matter-of-fact opinion made sense. I felt a bit more positive that tomorrow would go as I hoped. When my dad voiced a similar opinion, I couldn't help but smile.

We made it through dinner without any further embarrassing conversations. My parents both seemed to get that I didn't want to discuss Jake and Austin, so they kept the conversation away from them and told me about the new spring lines, how they were searching for a new part-timer for the boutique, and the typical small town gossip.

When we got home, I excused myself to take a nice long bath. Candles lit, I turned off the lights. Sinking down into the bubbles, I laid my head back on a towel and sighed. Stressing over Jake, and what he would do, had my muscles tied in knots. I closed my eyes and swore I could feel Jake there with me. The warm water rushed over me and I could almost pretend it was the warmth of his skin. Almost.

The water chilled before I drug myself out. I threw on some PJ's and collapsed into my bed. Exhaustion overtook me, and despite everything on my mind, sleep won out.

Chapter Forty-one
 

My dreamless sleep ended abruptly. My mom shook my shoulder and handed me the house phone. I muttered a sleepy "Hello" to whoever had called.

"You still in bed? Honey child, it's after eight," Granny asked.

"I'm up now," I said with a yawn. Stretching my arms out, I dropped the phone and had to dig through my bedding for it. Crap. "Granny? I dropped the phone, you still there?"

"Oh, I'm here. You need to come take me to church. We have to be there at 10:45. Go get your face on and come get me." Blunt as always. And I wondered, as always, who came up with that phrase?
Get your face on. As if I took it off at night and hung it on a hook?

When I replied I'd be there by ten, I talked to an empty line. Granny'd already hung up. With a quick glance at the time, I hurried into the shower. It's later than I thought. Granny said after eight, she should've said almost nine. I was in Mom's car, driving out to Granny's, before Jake even crossed my mind.

Well, at least I looked nice if got dumped in front of everyone. Could it really be termed 'dumped' when we weren't even officially dating? I didn't have a clue. But either way, I wore a dress and had my hair and makeup done. Granny'd shoot me if her church escort didn't look nice.

She waited on the porch swing as I pulled up, giant purse in lap, pillbox hat on her head, buckled shoe tapping to a beat only she could hear. She gave me a once over as I walked to the steps, nodding at my outfit. A weight lifted from my shoulders at her slight indication of approval.

When we walked in the front doors at Free Will United Methodist Church, she clung to my arm like she needed the support. Not sure what that was about, but I didn't protest. I knew better. When I saw the nervous glances she gave Mr. Peterson though, I had to suppress a chuckle. Granny had a crush.

We weaved through the crowd, greeting people as we went by. It's a small town, and Granny'd been a member of this church since before it had this big nice sanctuary. Everyone knew her and, by extension, me.

Even though we'd just arrived, the third pew on the right-hand side sat empty. Granny's butt had warmed that very pew for more years than I had been alive. She slid in and left me the end spot. Mr. Peterson came in from the other side, they'd been pew-mates for decades. I recalled hearing that his wife passed last summer. He left a respectable distance between the two of them, but he seemed to peek at her more than mere friendliness implied. Well, well, looked like Granny had herself a bit of a romance.
How sweet!

During the service, I managed to angle myself so that I could see them a little better. They kept glancing at each other, and on the few times their eyes met, they flashed each other shy, little smiles. When it came time for the passing of the peace, she moved toward him and they spoke only to each other. I greeted several people, still keeping an eye on Granny. Did my mom know about Mr. Peterson? I sure wouldn't be the one to tell her Granny might be moving on. My skin was worth more than that to me.

When we left, the teasing tone of my words earned me a sharp glance from Granny. But eventually she softened. "I don't know if anything'll come of it. We've just enjoyed a few cups of coffee and some conversation. That's all. Now don't you go telling your mama. I'll tell her if I need to."

"I bet Mom thinks she has as much control over you dating as she does me," I joked with Granny. We pulled up to Scott and Martha's house and my heart wasn't really in that joke.

Granny's age-spotted hand reached across and clasped mine. "Don't you worry about that boy. He'll do what you need him to do. And if he don't, well, we will have us a bit of a pity party and eat us some pie. And then you'll put on your big girl panties and find you another boy to try to pull'em off of you."

"Granny!" I couldn't believe she just said that.

Squeezing my hand once more, she said, "He'll speak up. Don't think no more on it. Austin knows how to push Jake's buttons. He's been doing it for twenty years."

Austin could annoy Jake like no other. If anyone could get him to talk, it's Austin. I tried to relax, but the knot in my stomach would not subside.

From the number of cars in the drive, it looked like we might be the last ones to arrive. I checked my hair and makeup one last time. My eyes closed and I took several deep, calming breaths. I could do this. I would do this.

Granny nudged me and I came around to help her out of the car. We were walking up the sidewalk when Austin jogged out. "Hey Laney, lunch is almost done. Y'all got here just in time."

He bounded down the steps and pulled me into a quick hug. "Jake saw you pull up. He's been watching for you, I think. Thought I should start making it look good. So pretend you're happy to see me."

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back. "What if he doesn't want me, Austin? If he doesn't, I need you to drag me out of there, please? I don't want to fall apart in front of both our families."

He tilted my head up. "Hey, none of that negative thinking. He's going to do what you need him to. I may go back to campus with a black eye, but he won't let me walk away with his girl. Chin up."

I nodded, but I wasn't as confident as Austin that things would work out. Wasting another three years of my life with someone who didn't truly want me was not an option though. I gave myself a mental shake and let Austin guide me into the house. He held the door for us, and even earned a pat from Granny.

When I say everyone was there, I mean
every one
. All my aunts, uncles, and even cousins. Austin and Jake's extended families were there. So, if things went south, I only had about thirty sets of eyes on me. The knot in my stomach grew bigger.

Austin's arm held me tight to his side. I greeted everyone, Martha rushed over and pulled me in for a big hug. She whispered in my ear, "I thought you were pretty set on Jake?" I just shook my head the tiniest bit. Understanding brightened in her eyes and she squeezed me.

With the furniture moved around, Scott had managed to find room to line up several tables so we could all sit together. I found myself between Austin and Granny. Jake sat across from Austin, next to my dad. Every time Austin touched me, Jake noticed.

Austin ran his finger along the neckline at the back of my dress. I shuddered in revulsion, but it must have looked differently to Jake. The hurt in his eyes, before he shut down all emotion, made me ache to go to him.

Austin's foot held my chair in place. He leaned over and whispered, "Give it a second. Don't give up yet."

"Hey Tim, I heard you and Mandy are getting married." Scott started some conversation with one of his nephews. The silence got a little awkward, so I'm glad
someone
could speak. My tongue felt about three sizes too big for my mouth. I moved food around on my plate, but very little made it inside me.

"Yeah, I proposed on Valentine's Day. A little sappy, I know. But she didn't seem to mind. She flew home to Washington to see her family for Easter. I've got a big case at work, so I couldn't go with her.

"So, when's the wedding going to be?"

"Uh, Mandy's thinking Christmas. Still ironing out the details. You'll get an invite for sure, Uncle Scott."

"I'm looking forward to having a daughter-in-law, after three sons," Scott's sister said with a laugh and nudged Tim.

"You know, I am looking forward to getting a daughter-in-law myself one of these days," Scott said, glancing over at his sons.

"Speaking of which. Austin, you and Laney have been dating for years. Isn't it about time you pop the question?" Aunt Lisa asked.

I'd known it was coming. I couldn't believe the conversation steered that way so quickly though. My heart lodged itself in my throat.

Austin leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "Laney will become a Davidson when the time's right. Don't worry."

I looked across the table. Jake glared down at his plate. He didn't look at me. Or Austin. The ham on his plate even seemed to shrink back in fear.

"Jake going to be your best man? My brothers are going to be mine," Tim asked.

The conversation had navigated perfectly toward pushing Jake's buttons. Did Aunt Lisa somehow recruit Tim to help her with her mission? Or did fate want to know how Jake felt as much as I did?

The tinkling of shattered glass interrupted the conversation. Jake stared down at the broken glass in his hand and shook his head no.

"Oh, Jake, is your hand hurt? You're bleeding." Martha hopped up to check on him.

"My hand's fine." He looked up at me. The hurt in his eyes burned me with its force. "My heart is what hurts."

He shoved his chair back, and it clattered to the floor as it tipped. Time slowed to a crawl as he rounded the table. But he came up behind me and spun my chair around. He wedged himself between my legs and tangled one hand in my hair. "I have waited too long for you. I refuse to lose you now. I know I said I'd walk away if Austin was your choice. But damn it, I love you, and I can't do it."

Tears filled my eyes, and I couldn't speak. I reached toward him, and he moved closer. He bent down and his lips were on mine. The kiss started off hard, a punishment for letting Austin touch me, maybe. But when my lips parted to allow him access, he groaned and softened the kiss. He cupped my jaw and tilted my head so that he could deepen the kiss. When his teeth tugged at my bottom lip, I whimpered and arched into him. He pulled me up out of the chair, holding me close to his body with only one arm.

One arm?
I tried to break the kiss, but his lips followed mine. When I got our lips apart, I saw why. Martha held his cut hand and tried to bandage it. Laughter bubbled out of me, and he yanked me up against him. "You think it's funny I lost control because of you again?"

"I had to see if you would fight for me. I had to know if I meant enough to you."

"You mean everything to me. I'd give up anything you asked to keep you in my life. Don't you know that? But I can't watch you with my brother, knowing he doesn't love you like I do. And I sure as hell won't stand by and let you marry him."

The tittering conversation around us was both amusing and embarrassing at the same time. I couldn't imagine what the extended Davidson clan must be thinking. Most of my side at least had a clue. They'd seen Jake at the hospital last week...

"Uh, Jake? You know it's poor form to go after your brother's girl, right?"

He looked away from me to glare at his cousin. Austin stood up next to us, and wrapped his arm around us both. His words calmed all the chatter. "She should have been his girl from the start. I'm the one who went after my brother's girl. Leave him alone. He loves her, more than I ever could."

"You are really okay with your brother stealing your girl?" Tim asked.

"More than okay with it. And she's not my girl. She hasn't been for a while. Not since I screwed up and cheated on her."

Scott chimed in, "But I thought you two were going back together after this silly fling idea you came up with."

Austin laughed. "Laney made her choice before the free pass started. She wouldn't have went out with Jake if she still wanted me. Don't you know her better than that by now?"

Jake tipped my face up. His dark eyes were full of questions. I nodded my agreement and he pulled me in for another kiss.

I didn't know what the future held for Jake and me, but we would face it together. I'd fight for him, and he'd fight for me. And that was enough for now...