From Duty to Daddy (11 page)

‘I’d never be angry with you.’

‘You confused me by leaving your email address in my pocket and then having my emails bounce back.’

‘At the time I believed you were better off without me. I still do.’ Marshall slowly leaned back against the window ledge, folded his arms across that expansive chest. ‘But...’ He paused. ‘Those weeks were something special, weren’t they? Wild and crazy, fun and exciting. Yeah, very special.’

‘Is that why you came to see me?’

‘I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. It’s like we haven’t finished what we started. At the end of my last posting I headed home thinking I’d be able to put you into perspective once I was in familiar surroundings and no longer trying to distract myself as I listened to gunfire in the middle of the night.’

‘Didn’t work, huh?’ She tried for a smile, failed badly. ‘So you came for another fling. Or a continuation of the old one.’ The bitterness in her voice disgusted her. She didn’t usually act like this, yet her tongue was like a runaway train. ‘I’m surprised you stayed when you learned I had a child. Hardly the excitement you were looking for.’

Crossing the room, he gripped her elbows and hauled her up off the bed to hold her as his eyes poured out his anger and his hurt. ‘Stop it, Charlie. I don’t deserve that any more than you deserve what’s happened to you. I got a shock when I realised Aimee was mine. Who wouldn’t? But I stayed. I’m still here. And I’ll always be in contact. For Aimee. For you. No matter what the future brings. That’s my promise to you.’

Then he kissed her. Hungrily. As though he hadn’t had a woman for a very long time. As if he’d been waiting for her and the sex they’d just shared hadn’t even begun to fill a void within him. His hands slid over her arms, over her back, her tummy, cupped her breasts.

Pulling her mouth away from his demanding lips, she murmured, ‘I’m sorry. That was selfish of me.’ When he leaned close again she put a finger on his lips. ‘I like the fact you’ll stay in touch. Hopefully, my health will keep improving and we won’t need to revisit this discussion.’ Then she returned to kissing him. She could give him time to take in this latest information. Her heart might be squeezing with anguish at the thought of Marshall leaving but that was nothing new.

As her body cried out its need for his she gave herself up to the moment. Plenty of time to deal with the debilitating pain of letting him go after he’d gone.

CHAPTER TEN

C
HARLIE
SAT
ON
the veranda, overseeing Aimee playing in her paddling pool. At the barbecue Marshall was cleaning up after the lunch he’d cooked for them.

‘What are you smiling about?’ He dumped dirty paper towels in the rubbish bin.

‘Just thinking how this time last week Dad told me to stop searching for you and see what the universe brought.’ Her smile widened. ‘Weird.’

‘A troop carrier brought me, not the universe.’ He parked his delectable butt on the top step and tipped his head back to look up at her. ‘But, hey, who’s checking?’

‘I promise not to watch the sky too often after you’ve gone.’ She kept the smile on her face despite the sadness threatening to break through.

His big hand covered her knee. ‘I’ve put all my contact addresses and numbers on your laptop, as you asked. Feel free to call or email any time. I will answer. Might be late if we’re out on patrol, but I’ll get to it as soon as possible.’

‘Thanks.’ It was good to know he’d be contactable. Which had been all she’d wanted—at first. Now, having admitted she loved Marshall, she wished for so much more. But did she really want him here with her if his heart was elsewhere? Yes. No. Not really. She had six days left to enjoy his company. Why waste them being miserable? ‘Shall we take a picnic tea out to Acaia Bay later?’

The hand on her knee squeezed lightly and his eyes lit up. ‘Sounds like a good idea.’ Glancing across at Aimee, he grimaced. ‘She seems full of energy this afternoon. More than usual. Must know I’ve got plans for her mother when she goes to sleep.’

An afternoon in the sack with Marshall. She couldn’t think of a better way to spend the hours. Except Aimee was busy jumping up and down, intent on making the biggest splashes possible. ‘Funny how she seems to know when I want her to go down on time.’

‘If not energy then she’ll run out of water shortly.’ Marshall grinned and leaned up on his elbow to kiss her. ‘I could put a wee hole in the bottom of the pool to hurry things up.’

Her elbow caught him in the shoulder. ‘Shame on you, Marshall Hunter.’

The sound of car doors banging reached her from the other side of the fence. Please, don’t be coming here. Not that she was expecting anyone. Then the gate opened and four people streamed through. ‘Keisha and Toby.’ And their boys. She shivered. The afternoon had just turned grey.

‘The woman you mentioned with the breast lump?’ Marshall stood and held his hand out to her.

‘Yes. Can’t say I’m too surprised. If I’d got that message I’d want to know what’s going on. But it’s not going to be easy.’ Letting him tug her to her feet, she stepped down to greet the couple trudging up her path. ‘Hey, you’re home.’ She stated the obvious, letting them set the tone for the meeting.

‘Got into Auckland last night and drove down today.’ Toby stood irresolute, one arm around Keisha’s waist. ‘I’m sorry we’ve barged in but...’ His voice petered out.

Reaching a hand out to Keisha, who stood like a rabbit caught in headlights, Charlie said, ‘It’s okay. I understand what you’re going through.’ More than most.

Keisha gripped her hard, nearly breaking the bones in her fingers. ‘Is it...?’ Swallow. ‘Does this mean I’ve got...?’ Another swallow. The word was hard to say, and Charlie knew that once Keisha did utter it then it became all too real.

Charlie looked directly at Keisha. ‘We don’t know what your mammogram means yet. Come inside and we’ll talk.’

Marshall stepped up beside her. Held his hand out to Toby. ‘I’m Marshall Hunter, Charlie’s friend. Want me to keep your boys occupied while you talk with Charlie? There’s a football in the shed.’

Toby shook his hand in return. ‘Would you? That’s good of you. Calib, Zac, this is Mr Hunter. You’re to go with him while Mum and I talk to Dr Lang, okay.’

‘Sure,’ Calib answered. ‘Can Aimee play, too?’

Giving Marshall a grateful peck on the chin, Charlie whispered, ‘Thank you. I owe you.’

‘We’ll make up for lost time tonight,’ he whispered back, and planted a big kiss on her lips. No subtlety, then.

Turning to the upset couple, she indicated that they follow her inside. Keisha’s eyes were on stalks as she agreed. Once inside she gasped, ‘Is he really just a friend? That’d be a waste.’

So much for doctor-patient boundaries. Sometimes Taupo seemed even smaller than it actually was. She understood Keisha was deliberately delaying the conversation to come. So, ‘Marshall is Aimee’s father.’ No secret there. The man had made sure everyone at the medical centre knew, which meant hundreds of others were now aware of the fact, too. ‘I’ll make some coffee.’

She filled the coffee percolator and sat her guests down at the table. ‘How was Phuket? You’ve all got great suntans.’

Keisha answered. ‘We had a fabulous time. Right up until the moment we got home and heard the messages.’ She seemed stunned and yet simultaneously thinking about many things.

Toby added, ‘We had to come see you. No way could we wait until Monday.’

‘It’s truly all right,’ she tried to reassure the distressed couple, at the same time knowing exactly what they were going through. The shock, the fear and the many unanswerable questions. All very debilitating. Dropping onto a chair, she placed her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. ‘Keisha, your mammogram shows an abnormality. There’s a dense spot in your breast, like a lump. At the moment no one can say for sure what it is.’

The other woman’s face whitened. Toby took her hand and held on tight. Suspecting and knowing were miles apart. And at this point they hadn’t had confirmation that Keisha did have cancer.

Charlie continued quietly, ‘The radiology centre has left you a message, too.’

Keisha nodded. ‘I have to make an appointment for another mammogram. She said something about the X-rays of one breast not being very clear.’

‘That’s standard practice. The woman phoning is not a doctor so can’t tell you anything about your X-ray results.’ The coffee percolator made sucking sounds and she got up to turn it off. ‘Considering you were away, I thought it best we make you an appointment. Eleven o’clock on Monday. You can change the time if that doesn’t suit.’

‘We’ll be there,’ Toby growled.

‘The radiologist will give you an ultrasound scan. He’ll also take a tiny sample from the lump to send to the laboratory. Until he gets the results of that there’s nothing you can do.’

‘Except worry ourselves sick.’ Keisha leaned against her husband, her fingers now interlaced tightly in her lap. ‘How long will it take for the results to come back?’

‘A few days. I won’t deny that’ll be hard.’ Absolutely terrifying, if the truth be known. They wouldn’t get much sleep over those days. ‘If you want to talk about anything in that time, phone me. Or drop in. I really don’t mind.’

Gleeful shouts had them all turning to look out the window. Marshall had the boys kicking the ball at one end of the lawn while Aimee tottered around them in her wet swimsuit, laughing and chasing the ball.

‘He’s good with kids, your man,’ Toby said.

‘It’s all very new to him, this fatherhood stuff.’ He’d taken to Aimee like cheese to crackers. But try telling Marshall that.

Keisha watched them, her hungry gaze flicking from Calib to Zac, Calib to Zac. Tears gathered in her eyes. ‘My boys. Will they be all right? If...?’

‘Don’t go there.’ Yeah, right. Like she hadn’t? The moment she’d heard she had to have tests done she’d panicked and had spent every waking hour—which had been most of the days and nights leading up to getting her results—making numerous and varied plans for Aimee if the worst happened.

Keisha turned big, sorrow-filled eyes on her. ‘Yeah, right,’ she echoed unwittingly. ‘How did you manage...’ she wiggled her fingers in the air ‘...not to go there?’

‘I didn’t. It’s a very scary time.’ The not knowing had eaten away at her, as it did with anyone facing the same horrendous situation. ‘I suggest you try to take things one day at a time. You couldn’t have got an appointment any sooner. The lab will do their best to have answers quickly. They always do in these cases.’

‘I have to say it, Charlie.’ The woman drew a deep breath and spat it out. ‘Cancer.’

Toby blanched at his wife’s sudden directness. ‘Keisha, sweetheart...’

‘No, Toby, I’m saying it as it is. I have to. At the moment that’s what we’re looking at. This time next week we might be dancing in the street and celebrating a good result.’ Her voice lowered. ‘Or I might be baking and filling the freezer with meals for you to give the boys while I’m in hospital.’

Charlie dredged up a smile. ‘Why do women always start trying to sort out their family in times like this? That seems to be their first concern.’

‘Guess it’s the nurturing instinct in us.’ Her bottom lip trembled and Charlie reached across to squeeze her hand. Nothing she could say would make this go away.

Then a loud shriek from outside had Charlie leaping out of her chair. ‘Aimee?’ Loud sobs followed that she recognised as Aimee hurting, intermingled with a deep male voice talking lovingly.

‘Sorry, but I’ve got to go and see to Aimee.’

Toby’s words stopped her. ‘But Aimee’s dad’s with her.’

‘He isn’t used to comforting her when she’s hurt or upset.’

‘Give him a moment. Seems to me he’s doing his best.’ Toby stared her down. ‘Come on, Doc, let him show Aimee who he is to her.’

Slowly she inched back down onto the chair. ‘You’re right. But I want to be there for Aimee.’

Keisha nodded. ‘That nurturing thing. But Toby’s right. If Marshall hasn’t had much to do with kids, and especially with his daughter, then he’s doing really well. It’s gone quiet out there.’

Charlie blinked. ‘So it has.’ Pride swelled in her chest. Marshall was a fantastic dad. If only she could get him to see that, to believe it.

* * *

Marshall watched Toby gently help Keisha into the car and close the door with a soft click. ‘Poor bastard. He doesn’t have a clue what to do other than be right beside his wife every moment.’

Charlie grimaced. ‘Not much either of them can do right now. The waiting is horrible. They’ll be wondering if Keisha is going to die, if she’ll live and see her boys grow up, if she even has cancer or not. They’ll make plans for the boys in case the worst happens and then change them every five minutes.’

His heart thudded in his chest. Charlie was speaking from experience. If only he hadn’t changed his email address he’d have been here for her. Yeah—if the army had given him leave. ‘How long did you have to wait to find out your results?’

‘Ten days. Felt like ten years. I hardly slept that whole time. Spent hours just watching Aimee in her basinet, drinking in as much about her as possible. She was so tiny and vulnerable and I didn’t know how long I’d be there for her.’ Her voice caught and she slapped the back of her hand over her cheek.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he hauled her up against him. ‘But you are here, and the future’s looking good. Aimee’s happy, and lucky to have the best mom ever.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘You made it, Charlie. Hang onto that and try to let the past go.’

She sniffed against his shirt. ‘I’m trying, believe me. But having to tell Keisha she might have cancer threw me. I thought I’d manage but it seems I haven’t completely put it all behind me.’

‘You’re strong and getting stronger by the day.’ He put her away from him enough to be able to see her face. ‘Promise to let me know any time you feel you can’t manage. I can’t make up for not knowing but I can be sure to talk with you any time you’re worried. Okay?’

Her teeth left an indentation on her bottom lip as she nodded. ‘Okay. That would be good.’ She didn’t look overly convinced, though.

* * *

Hours later Marshall tucked a strand of Charlie’s hair behind her ear as she slept, curled up against him in her bed. He hadn’t had more than a catnap through the night, afraid to miss any moment holding Charlie to him. What she’d told him about her cancer had cut him deep. How had she coped with all the worry and fear it had brought while trying to look after a baby? At least she’d had Brendon but Keisha was way better off having Toby with her at this time.

His hand fisted. If only he’d known. If only he hadn’t deleted his address. If only a whole bunch of things. But nothing could be changed except what he did for the future. He had to stay in touch with Charlie, no matter what.

Seeing the first hint of sunlight creeping around the edge of the curtains, he grimaced. Friday. Tomorrow—well, tomorrow was his last day here.

He’d spent as much time as he could with Aimee during the past two weeks, which had been pretty much all of it. Being with Charlie hadn’t come as easily. She had a job to do. She’d pointed out that asking for time off when she’d already taken months over the previous year and a half didn’t sit easily with her.

The reason for that time off terrified him. Was Charlie really going to make it? She had to. No argument. Aimee needed her. It was sad that there’d be no siblings for his girl but not the worst thing to come out of this. Charlie had all the love she needed from her father and it would be similar for Aimee. But cancer? Showed how little he had to do with everyday medicine if he hadn’t recognised her gauntness and lack of energy for what it was. He still didn’t want to think about Charlie and cancer in the same sentence. But there’d be plenty of nights ahead when he wouldn’t be able to avoid it.

Since learning what was behind her exhaustion, he’d wanted to do even more for her. But mostly, every night when she’d crawled into bed, exhausted as usual, he’d followed and held her as she’d fallen into that first deep sleep. He’d lain awake, hearing every breath she’d taken, feeling the rise and fall of her breasts against his arm, absorbing her warmth and scent. Trying to pass his strength on to her.

About an hour later she’d wake up suddenly, her eyes wide and excited, her lips searching for his mouth, her hand pushing down his body until she encountered the hard result of him holding her so close.

They’d made love, sometimes so slowly and exquisitely it hurt him inside where his heart lay. At other times their passion and need had driven them wild with excitement and they’d had to restrain themselves from crying out loud enough to be heard throughout the house.