From Fake to Forever (18 page)

As long as they both understood this was still a marriage with a purpose, all would be well. Under no circumstances could he allow any sort of emotion to be tied to this marriage. That’s when all the problems happened. The second he gave her any leverage over him—or worse, fell for her—she’d mess him up. Jason refused to be the kind of leader who let emotional distractions ruin a company. One Lynhurst with that track record was enough.

“I’m not.” Her smile grew tremulous. “It just scares me.”

“What, the idea of having a non-fake marriage?” He shrugged. “It’s not so different than what we’ve been doing.”

That was the key. Everything should—and could—stay the same.

She sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest, but not very well, and one nipple peeked out over the top. She couldn’t have struck a more erotic pose if a men’s magazine photographer had positioned her. Somehow, he didn’t think she’d appreciate knowing she’d turned him on all over again in the middle of her serious discussion.

“Jason, we’ve never dated. Never had that getting-to-know-you period. It’s not like we can go backward. This is all too real, too fast. It doesn’t terrify you?”

“The only thing that scares me is the thought of doing anything that jeopardizes my merger plans. As long as you’re not in the way of that, what’s the problem? We live together for a few weeks, get my mother comfortable with retiring and file the divorce papers. I’ll take you out on as many dates as you want.”

She stared at him as if he’d lost all of his marbles and then tried to take some of hers. “Why would we still get a divorce?”

All the air left the room. “Wait, when did we start talking about not getting a divorce?”

He couldn’t be married to Meredith long-term, letting her influence him and coerce him into losing his brain on a regular basis. The promise of divorce gave him a time box. He couldn’t lose that out.

“That’s the crux of this whole conversation.” She shook her head. “Neither one of us
needs
a divorce any longer. This is a matter of what we want now. You weren’t going to divorce Meiling after a few weeks, were you? Why is our relationship different?”

“Because it is,” he sputtered, scrambling to figure out why this part of the conversation
did
scare him. “Her culture frowns on divorce, and the textile agreements would have been long-term anyway.”

The atmosphere turned frigid as she watched him.

The fear uncoiling in his belly actually felt an awful lot like denial. He couldn’t have married Meiling. He was
glad
he hadn’t married Meiling. It probably would have been exactly the marriage he envisioned and he’d be unaware the entire time how unhappy he was.

But what would make him happy? Meredith? How could he possibly know that before making a mistake that couldn’t be easily undone? Or worse, before letting her into his heart where she might become more important than Lynhurst Enterprises?

This was backward and inside out. He
should
be telling her whatever she wanted to hear so he could keep her in place by his side. He needed to stay married. What Meredith suggested suited his plans to a T.

Why
wasn’t he saying yes and worrying about the fallout later? “You and Meiling are different. Leave it at that.”

“So you’re okay with landing your CEO job under false pretenses and then telling your mom you’re getting a divorce within a few days? She’s giving you that job in good faith.” Her gaze tried and convicted him. “Is that really the kind of man you want me to believe you are?”

No.
He wanted to scream it. But he couldn’t speak, couldn’t think around the roaring in his head. The question was too big to answer and too big to not answer.

She didn’t wait for him to figure it out.

“So as long as I’m convenient, I’m allowed to stick around and sleep in your bed. I get it.” Her mouth firmed into a flat line that conveyed exactly how disappointing she found this whole conversation. “This is still about how your marriage affects your merger plans. If I outlive my usefulness, then I get the ax. Even after last night...and this morning.”

Last night, when he’d held her close and breathed in her scent and it was every bit as wonderful as he’d remembered.

Something hitched in his chest as he saw very clearly what she’d hoped they were discussing. That their marriage could become real in every sense. Emotionally
and
physically. Her feelings were all over her face and glinting from her gaze. It sucked at him, encouraging him to spill things from his own heart. Things that shouldn’t be there because they led to bad decisions.

The pain behind his rib cage intensified. He had to shut down her hopes for anything more than the business arrangement they’d agreed to. “What else would you expect our marriage to be about?”

A shutter dropped over her expression and she looked away. “Nothing. Sounds great. Glad we talked. Let me know when you decide what’s happening with our marriage. I’m going to take a shower.”

Wordlessly, he watched her flee the bed. He knew he’d upset her, but he lacked the ability to fix it. And it hurt. He didn’t like disappointing her and he didn’t like not knowing what she might do about it. Would she leave him? That thought scared him more than the idea of staying married forever.

Yep. This was definitely a real marriage now, for better or worse.

* * *

Meredith didn’t bring up the subject of marriage again. Neither did she speak to him in more than monosyllables for the remainder of the weekend. She didn’t even say goodbye when he left for the office Monday morning.

Three days into this marriage that never should have happened and it was already a disaster. Twice during the course of the morning, he reached for the phone to call her and broach the subject of their divorce and stopped.

What would he say? He definitely didn’t want a divorce. But he wasn’t prepared to articulate why, even to himself. Though his brain had no problem reminding him constantly that if they got divorced, she might find someone else, and he couldn’t stomach the image of another man’s hands on Meredith.

On the flip side, he was equally unprepared to hear all of Meredith’s terms for a real marriage. How was he supposed to have a normal relationship? Lynhurst DNA laced his chromosomes, which apparently rendered males senseless when they got around a woman who was hot for them.

But he and Meredith couldn’t stay in limbo forever. They’d have to talk about it eventually.

It took the company grapevine about thirty minutes to send the news around that Jason Lynhurst had gotten married and his new wife had been working for Hurst. People dropped by all day to congratulate him, which he accepted with sincere thanks.

They didn’t have to know there might be a divorce on the horizon. Or there might not be.

The one person he didn’t talk to was Meredith.

He kept expecting her name to pop up on his phone, maybe with a sexy text message or a suggestion that he come home for lunch. Not that he’d been fantasizing about that or anything.

He watched the clock until after one and cursed when he realized he’d been hoping she’d at least take two minutes to let him know she was okay. Or what she’d done all day to keep herself occupied while he was at work.

She didn’t. He tried not to think about her during the interminably long day, but failed. Miserably. Her feelings were probably still hurt, and being responsible for that dug at him worse than not talking to her.

At five after five, he couldn’t stand the silence and he couldn’t stand any more brooding about it. This was ridiculous. At the very least, he and Meredith were going to be married for a few more weeks. They couldn’t go on like this.

He went straight home, irritation just this side of boiling over, and it made him even angrier that he had no good reason to be mad. When he stormed into the loft, she was standing in the foyer, filling his house with her presence, and it hit him in the gut. His temper drained away.

“Hey,” he croaked and cleared his throat.

She was so lush and beautiful and he loved that he could come home to her. She lived with him because she’d chosen to. Why that mattered, he had no clue. But it did.

“Hey,” she returned coolly, her smile strained. “I was going out. Hope you don’t mind.”

Enough was enough. He slammed the door with one hand and with the other, he yanked her into his embrace and growled, “I do mind.”

Then he poured all his frustration and longing into a scorching kiss. He hadn’t planned it, but he couldn’t go one more second without her in his arms. She was his wife and right now, he wanted her to know it.

She softened under his mouth and her hands clutched his shoulders weakly as he backed her against the door.

God, he’d missed her. They’d only been apart a few hours, but that was long enough for him to go numb. The taste of her zinged along his nerve endings, waking him up. And he wanted more, wanted her raw and open to him. Wanted to take her, right here, right now, so there was no question that she belonged to him.

Clearly of the same mind, she moaned, and one leg slid along his sensuously, electrifying his senses. Their tongues melded as he yanked her silk blouse from the waistband of her skirt and snaked a hand inside, running a palm down the globe of her gorgeous rear end.

She wiggled out of her panties in a flash. His eyelids flew shut as he dipped a finger in her accessible, wet center.

Perfection.
The feel of her slick readiness went straight to his head, sensitizing him, and he craved possession. Fully. Irreversibly. Before he knew it, she’d unzipped his pants, releasing him into her eager fingers. Stroking him with a throaty moan, she lifted a leg and hooked it behind his waist, grinding her damp sex against his bare flesh.

“Now. Make me come,” she commanded.

As if he could wait.

He slid into her with a groan and they joined. A flash of heat and something wholly amazing encompassed him as he made love to his wife against the door of their home. No condom, no pretending, nothing other than two people who completed each other.

His chest hurt as something inside him swelled.

He couldn’t possibly possess her because it was the other way around. She owned him. Wholly. And had for some time. That’s what he’d been trying to avoid, but it was too late to pretend he didn’t feel anything for Meredith.

She shuddered and climaxed in three hard thrusts, finishing him off, as well.

They slumped together, and he was physically unable to separate from her. “I’m not going to apologize. I had to have you. I couldn’t wait.”

Sated and glowing, she glanced up at him through her lashes and smiled. “I wasn’t confused. You’ve made quite a habit out of seducing me.”

“Me?
You’re
the one who comes on to me every waking moment.” He grinned back because he didn’t hate it. It was a huge turn-on to be the object of her lust.

She blinked. “You realize that every time we’ve had sex, you’ve initiated it. Right?”

No, he hadn’t.
She
was the sex goddess, enticing him to sample her gorgeous wares like a mythical Athena. “You’re...”

And then he thought back. In the car. On the desk. Saturday morning, in bed. This afternoon, against the door. It was the sexual equivalent of the board game Clue and all the cards pointed to Jason.

“Not complaining,” she finished for him. “But since you can’t keep your hands off me, I’ll start carrying condoms on my person at all times. The last thing we need is an accidental pregnancy to make our divorce complete.”

Yes, that would put the icing on his upside-down cake of a life.

“Let me take you to dinner. No more divorce talk,” he murmured. “Not now.”

Not while he was still sorting through what in the hell Meredith had done to his careful plans to stay completely disentangled from his wife.

Twelve

D
inner was less strained than Meredith had expected. Of course she’d been thoroughly mellowed by the hot and quick orgasm courtesy of Lyn’s chief operating officer.

He’d taken her against the door and then taken her to an outrageously expensive restaurant, flirting with her over lobster and crisp sauvignon blanc. Then he’d held her hand in the car and chatted all the way home about various topics like what he should give his mom for her birthday next week and whether Meredith would like to update the decor in his loft. Because he wanted her to feel at home.

She took it all in with a dollop of suspicion. Just a few days ago, he’d hemmed and hawed about the kind of marriage he really wanted: short-term vs. long-term, real vs. fake, same bed vs. separate beds. It was madness and she was thoroughly sick of being confused and scared that he’d never let himself be the caring, sensitive man she only got to experience when he forgot about being the mastermind, usually in the dark. That man would have no problem believing they could have a relationship based on something other than what was advantageous for Lyn.

That Jason was the one she loved and the one she wanted. She hadn’t given up hope that he’d eventually be that man permanently.
That
Jason might actually admit it if he developed feelings for her in return.

Was she crazy to hang around waiting for that miracle to happen?

At quarter till nine, Jason’s cell phone rang as they were walking through the door of his loft after dinner. He glanced at it and mouthed, “Avery,” and answered. After a couple of “Uh-huhs” and a “We’ll be here,” he hung up and raised an eyebrow. “She wants to talk to us. Both of us.”

Foreboding flooded Meredith’s chest. “About what?”

“She didn’t say. But she mentioned it was important. Do you mind?”

Avery with a secret mission sounded like the opposite of fun. Meredith sighed. She’d been fantasizing about taking a long, hot bath in Jason’s enormous garden tub that overlooked the skyline. “It’s fine. I’ll open a bottle of wine. Unless you think it’s not a social visit?”

He shrugged. “Avery is about as social as a black widow. Open the wine for us. So we can tolerate her.”