From Lies to Promises (19 page)

  “When she told me about running into you on her way out the door I yanked her in and told her to tell me exactly what she had done. I didn’t realize it was a trick until an hour ago when I checked my phone and saw the text she sent to you and came straight here.
” He said in one breath. The hand that was out to me is still there and he takes another step into me.

“You checked your phone? Have you been checking it this whole week, seeing my text and calls? Listening to my voicemails? What you just didn’t think it was a big deal to not reply at all?” I say shoving his hand away.

  As I do, it gives him the perfect opportunity to s
tep completely up to me. He clasp my hands in his and hold them between us. “I’m sorry. You didn’t need to see me like that.”

  “You’re kidding, right? I don’t care about that bullshit. I could have been there for you, could have held you the way you did me last week.
” I point out. I bend my neck until my head rest against our hands. “Why did you abandon me? I kept telling myself that you were different than the other guys out there and you proved I can’t even trust myself.” I start to pull back, but Ryder won’t let me.

  “I didn’t abandon you, I
promise.
I wanted and needed you there with me, but I just couldn’t. I am different. I am here and have been. If you needed me I would have come running. None of your messages sounded urgent.” Bringing our entwined hands up to his mouth he kisses each knuckle, as if to sooth the pain away.

  I shove him back with all my might, and this time he lets go. “
Stop with the promises! You don’t understand. I thought we were fucking perfect…you are the only man I’ve ever loved. And one day it’s just gone. You didn’t call, or answer my calls. I lost you, and it broke my fucking heart. No, it broke me.” Anger and heartbreak make my breaths come out in heaves.

 
“Wait. What?” Ryder ask bewildered.

  “You broke me, Ryder.”

  His lips turn up on each side of his mouth, “No, the part where you said you love me.”

  I am stuck lightheaded at the fact he is right. I had told him I loved him, even after I had worked so hard to keep
it to myself to keep from him hurting me. I thought, somehow, if I never said it aloud then it wasn’t possible for him to shatter what was left of my heart.  “I won’t ever feel for someone the way I do you, but I don’t know if I can do us again. You can’t begin to understand what you did to me.”

  “Don’t say that when you know it’s not true.”
The hope that sparks in his eyes when he realizes that I love him vanishes. “Please, don’t give up on this.”

  I blink up at him letting a lone tear escape. Ryder sweeps in and his thumb wipes it away.
My eyes search out his emerald ones, “I don’t want to, but I can’t put myself out there again. I let go with you and you hurt me.”

 
“I didn’t think. I cannot tell you how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you. Hell, that is the last fucking thing I would ever want to do and I am so mad at myself because I did.” His thumbs are still rubbing back and forth on my cheek bones. “Give me another chance, Katrina. Let me be here for you. Be the one to hold you at night, to keep you. Be mine.”

 
“Why?”

  “Because I love you. And I need you just as much as you need me. You said that I am the only man you have ever been in love with. The same goes for me darlin’.”

  I raise my eyebrow up at him and smile, “You are the only guy that you have ever fell for?”

  That gifts me with his full on,
megawatt smile. “Well, yeah. But, what I meant…”

 
“I know.” I say grabbing the front of his shirt. “I was just teasing you.”

“That’s not very nice, ya know?” He states towering over me. I watch as his tongue comes out and wets his lips.

 
“I’m not really in the nice kind of mood.” Slowly I pull on his shirt, his lips getting closer to mine with each beat my heart takes. Just when there is nothing but the stir of our breaths in between us connecting, the door opens and TJ is standing there with his arms folded and mouth hanging open.

  “You have got to be fucking shitting me, Kat. You should be tearing this guy a new one. Not a
bout to kiss and make the fuck up.” He yells his arms flailing at his sides to make it more dramatic.

  “Ugh, TJ. I can take care of myself
.” I tell him. I look down as Ryder reaches over and grabs my hand and slips his fingers in with mine.

  “Whatever. He’s just going to hurt you again. But go ahead. Everyone has to learn from their mistakes right?” He turns on his heel and storms down the hall towards to bar.

  “He’s in love with you.” Ryder notes.

 
I jerk my head up to him. “No he isn’t, he is like a big brother to me. There is no way.”

  “Trust me, that
…” He pauses to point dramatically at the door where TJ was just standing, “was not brotherly love. Nor was the way he acted with you at Sir Goony’s.” He tugs my hand, “Come on let’s get you home.”

“Ok.” Is all I say as I follow him out of the office and into the bar, hand in hand. I look around and find TJ at mine and
the girl’s usual table with a bottle of Jack and a shot glass. He catches my eyes as he throws back his head to swallows a shot. He averts his eyes just as quickly as I found them and pours him another.

 
Outside, I realize that both of our cars are here. Ryder sees my head going back and forth between the two and says, “We can take mine and I can bring you back for yours in the morning. If you want to that is.”

  I smile at him. He really is amazingly sweet. “That’s fine.” I laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” He asks.

  “You are. You are acting like I am going to take off running in the other direction any minute.” I explain.

  After the car doors are shut, he reaches over and pulls my face to look at me. “I fucked up pretty bad with you. The one person I never saw myself running from, and I ran. I may not have realized that was what I was doing, but it was.” His gaze darts out the windshield and comes back to me, “If I do it again, I’ll lose you. I know that.”

  I place my hands over his on my face. “Everyone fucks up, but you coming for me tonight,
to explain everything to me, that made it right. I don’t want you or me walking on glass because we are scared. That’s not how a relationship works.”

 
“So you are really going to give us another chance?” He asks hesitantly.

  “I think we owe it to ourselves to be happy.” I give him a peck on the lips and ask, “Don’t you?”

  “Oh, sure. And I know just how to start the happiness.” His lips meet mine in a kiss so needy, so hard I am sure it could break and repair my heart at the same time.

 
I plug my phone in on the way to my house and hit random. The fact that ‘Alone’ by Sleeping with Sirens is the first thing that starts playing, out of the thousands of songs I have isn’t lost to me. I really need to re-evaluate my thoughts on coincidence and fate. Maybe, just maybe she isn’t the bitch I thought she was.

  Walking to the front door I send a silent prayer that everyone is still out. Just me, Ryder and an empty house!
Hmmm.
I open the door and flick on the light. Before I can turn around Ryder’s hand are on my hips pulling me back into him. I giggle and angle my head to that I can see him, “Anxious, aren’t you?”

  “Mmmmm.”
Is all I get for a response. One hand roams to the front of my body and splays across my stomach. His mouth descends to the crook of my neck licking and kissing me. The hand on my hip makes a path down the front of my jeans and into my panties. When his fingers run between my folds and across the sensitive nub hidden there, my knees try to fold in. Ryder’s strong hand on my stomach hold me up as the other continues rubbing slow, deliberate circles. I bring my hand up and run my fingers through his hair, when his mouth finds mine.

  I cry out in pure bliss as he inserts a finger into me. Before long my hips are moving in perfect rhythm of his hand, our mouth still making sweet love.

  “Oh, gah! There is this thing called a bedroom.” Skeigh slurs. Ryder’s hand is out of my pants and we both just stand there like a deer caught in the headlights. “Let’s use that from now on because we really didn’t need to walk in and see Kat coming on your hand. Shit.”

  We were so caught up in each other, that neither of us heard the door being unlocked or opened. I really don’t see how either, from the looks of it Skeigh is very drunk. She is only standing because Dave is holding her up.

  “Um, hi.” I say stupidly, putting my hand up for a little wave.

  “Hellooo. Didn’t mean to intrude, just need to g
et this one to bed.” Dave jokes, then scoops her up and carries her to her room.

  Once he is out of sight
Ryder starts laughing. “That wasn’t awkward at all!”

  I join in on the laugh, “Nope, sure wasn’t.”

  We laugh for a little while longer but stop when Dave comes back into the room. “She should sleep for the rest of the night. So don’t let her being here ruin you two from tearing down the house.” He divulges.

  “Wait. Why were you with Skeigh?” I question him. “Last I heard you were ignoring her, too.”

  “Yes, I was. The damn girl is the most jealous girl I have ever fucking met.” He runs his hand in his hair and continues, “She saw me talking to a girl at the bar one night, while I was waiting on her to get there. Skeigh, well you know, is always late but I was just talking to the girl. We argued about it the whole night and I told her if she was going to be like that I didn’t want any part of it.”

  I speak up, “Asshole move. But that doesn’t tell me why you were with her tonight.”

  “Damn, is she always this impatient?” He ask looking to Ryder who is nodding profusely, but stops when he sees that he has been caught. “I was getting to it. Anyways, she went out to some random bar in downtown and called me after ten too many drinks. Telling me she was sorry, that she overreacted. I asked her where she was and came to get her. She was there alone, and drunker than Cooter Brown.”

  “Thank you, Dave. I
will let her know in the morning you were her knight and shining armor.” I tell him.

  “No don’t tell her. If you do, she will want to know why. I want her to apologize when she is sober. I have a feeling she doesn’t say sorry often and I
don’t want to give her the luxury of doing it intoxicated.” He declares.

  “Wow, you already have her figured out, huh. Ok, I won’t tell her a thing, but how am I supposed to explain how she got home? Or what if she remembers?” I inquire.

  He walks over and pats Ryder on the back and heads toward the door. “I’m sure if you both put your heads together, you can come up with something.” He sends me a winks then is out the door.

 
“You want to go to my place?” Ryder ask coming to stand in front of me.

  “Yes!”

              Barely through the door at Ryder’s and we are already ripping the clothes off each other. The entire ride here we teased each other. A nibble to the ear lobe, or bite on the neck. I would rub him over his pants, only to have him do the same. Every red light or stop sign he would take my mouth with savage need. By the time we make it to his house I could care less about leaving the car, I just needed him. Now.

  Ryder walks me backwards till I nearly trip on the coffee table. The buttons on his shirt are getting stuck and not wanting to cooperate with me, so I take it upon myself to
fix that problem by pulling the shirt open. I smile widely as I hear the buttons hitting the floor all over the room.

  “That was my favorite shirt.” Ryder tells me.

  “Oh my God. Really? I’m so sorry.”

  “No. But if it was I wouldn
’t have cared because that was fucking sexy a hell!”

 
“Oh?” I run my finger down his neck to his chest making sure to sweep over his nipple before continuing downward towards his belt buckle. I undo it and yank the belt through all the lopes in one tug. I keep my eyes on Ryder’s face as undo his button on his jeans and ease the zipper down. I put my thumbs in the sides of his jeans and boxers, then push them down till they fall to the floor around his feet. He toes his shoes off and kicks his clothes away. I let my gaze wonder over his body. I start with his tattoo and all its dark lines weaving this way and that, then I travel lower to his abs. When my eyes land on the prize, I can’t help but to lick my lips and think of how much pleasure it has and can bring to me.

  Ryder’s hand pulls my head up by the chin, “My turn.”

  Misery and desire rolled into one. That is what I feel as Ryder takes his time stripping my clothes from me. The carnal look in his eyes as he takes me in, all of me, standing before him. Ready. Wanting. I start to shake, but for once I welcome the lust I see in a man’s eyes. This man. He takes me to a new world, where there is no such thing as monsters in the dark. I forget and can let go.