From The Ashes (The Knights of Mayhem Book 3) (23 page)

“I’m not the one they need to apologize to.”

“Maybe not, but let them try.”

I take a deep breath,  “Okay.”

Chapter Twenty

Roman

I stand, looking in the mirror over the bathroom sink.  I rub the three-day-old scruff covering my chin and focus on the dark bags under my eyes.  Then the memory of Hollis’s face without her bandages ripples across my mind.  The bullet had shattered her cheekbone. If she hadn’t turned her head at the right time, I might be having a whole different vision.  The thought of her dying at the hands of Markus, protecting us, rocks my body.

I shake my head, trying to free it of the mental image of her dying and leaving me, but I can’t get the sinking feeling out of my heart.

I pull my shirt over my head and peel off my blue jeans.  I have never in my life, since I’ve been stateside and out of the military, let myself go so far.  I adjust the water and step into the cold stream, letting it hit me in the chest first, then duck my head. 

The water rushes over my body, taking with it the shell I’d been living in.  The strength I’d been propping up with toothpicks is now gone and I feel my knees crumple under the weight of it all.  A sob rips from my chest and for the first time since my parents died, I cry. I lean back against the cold shower wall as the water cascades over me.  I hold my head in my hands, letting my tears mix with the cold water.  Three days of pent up emotions, all the hate, all the anger, and all the helplessness flow from me.  I had never felt so helpless in my life and I’ve figured out real quick that I’m not a fan. 

I emerge from the shower, somewhat a new man, at least I’m clean and feel like sitting at the hospital for as long as Hollis needs me to. 

I walk down the hall and stop at Caden’s room. Emily had toned down the pepto pink to soft, pastel colors.  She’s sitting in the middle of the floor, playing with her dolls. She’s so engrossed I just stand and watch her.  The innocence this child encompasses after all she’s been through in her short life is enviable. Her blue eyes dart up to me and she’s on her feet, running straight for me. “Uncle Roman.”  Her arms are stretched out as I bend to scoop her up into mine. 

I hold her close to me.  “Hey, Boo.”

“Aunt Hollis, is she here too?”  She tilts her head back to look at me.

“No, baby. She’s still at the hospital.”  Hollis had been shielding Caden from the gunfire when she’d been hit.  Caden had seen it all and it took Oz and Kent both to get her to turn Hollis loose after it happened. 

“Oh, can I go see her?”

“Not right now, Boo, but maybe in a few days, okay?”  Her little face crumples.  I turn and carry her back into the kitchen where Cowboy, Emily, and Avery are sitting at the table, quietly talking.

“No need to stop talking about me because I’m in the room.  Share, ‘cause I’d like to know how you think I should get out of this.”  I kick out the chair and lower Caden and myself down into it.

“We weren’t talking about you, brother.”  Cowboy nudges Emily and nods to the coffee pot.  She jumps to her feet to get me a cup.

“Thank you,”  I say as she sets the cup in front of me. “Well, what were you all talking about?”

“How this might be at an end.”  Avery smiles at me.

“Don’t put the cart before the horse.” 

“I know, but a person can’t help but hope for it, you know?”  Avery’s soft eyes look up at me.  I nod at her then hug Caden closer to me.

No, you can’t help but have hope.

Hollis

I hear the metallic grinding of the machines first, then I try to blink my eyes open.  I wince at the feeling, like I’m blinking glass in my right eye, but strangely my left is fine.

“Roman?”  Panic sets in as the sense of claustrophobia engulfs me.

An intercom beeps then a clinical voice breaks through the air.  “Just lay still, Ms. Keaton. It’ll only take a few minutes.”

“Roman?” I scream and begin to push myself up, and when I do, it feels like my eye socket is going to explode, so I lie back down.

The clinical beep sounds, but this time a familiar voice is fighting with the man.  “Just give me the fucking mic, asshole. You’re scaring the hell out of her, she knows me.”  Then silence.  “Hollis, it’s Piper, babe.  They’re just checking to make sure the surgery is healing.  Can you lie still for just a few seconds and then you’ll be out of there.”  The mic stays live.  “She’s claustrophobic, dipshit. If you would’ve read her file, you would’ve known you have to sedate her for this shit.”

“She was out already when they brought her in.”

“On pain medi-fucking-cation, not sedated―medicated.”  I hear papers rustling.

“Guys, I can hear you.”

“Do you hear that? You’re upsetting her, numb-nuts. I suggest you get your shit done before my brother gets back.  Her boyfriend … oh, did I mention he’s Special Forces?  That means he can end you like that.”  I can hear her fingers snap through the speakers and I can’t help but snicker at her bravado.  Piper has always been over the top and now, at this point in time, she’s doing it for me. 

“Ms. Jefferys, if you do not calm down, we’re going to have to remove you from the booth.”  The gentleman attempts to get control of the situation.

“Bitch please, try and remove me.”

~~~~~~

I’m back in my room, resting when Roman comes through the door.  He stops when he sees me and for a second, his mask slips from his face.  His eyes turn soft and his features almost melt off his bones. 

“Hey, babe.”  I try my best to smile for him, but the tape holding my bandage is making it difficult on the right side.  I’m still not sure if he has the whole story or not, but I hope him being here means Kent filled them all in on what I’d done, which poses another problem. I’m now going to have to answer for going behind his back. 

He looks around the room then back to me with his mask securely in place again.  “Where’s Piper?”

I giggle. “Oh, she’s in hospital jail.”

He crosses the room to the chair he’s been occupying for the past three days, refusing to leave my side.  He sits down with a huff.  “Hospital jail?”

“Yeah. She lost it on the radiologist and they escorted her out.” I turn to him.  “Under strong protests, of course.”

“I’m sure.”  He leans back and takes me in, making me turn away.  “Hollis, look at me.”

“Roman, I’m sorry,”  I choke back my mousy, broken voice.

“Hollis, you have nothing to be sorry for, but me, on the other hand―”

“You have nothing to explain.  You reacted the way I expected you too, so I was prepared.”  I hope I keep my mask on and he can’t see through my lies.  It hurt, but I can’t let him see it, he doesn’t need that guilt too. 

“Don’t lie to me.”  He looks away.  “I’m ashamed for the way I acted and treated you.”  He scoots the chair closer to my bed and takes my hand.  “Why did you feel like you had to do what you did?  I’ve been trying to work it out in my head, but I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around it.”

“Because it’s what I had to do.  Nobody else, not even you, could’ve done it, Roman, and you know it.  It was for all of you. I owed you all so much.” 

“You didn’t owe us anything … well, not as much as you think you did.  Please tell me you won’t try anything like this again?”

I reach up and touch the bandage covering my right cheek.  “I think my undercover days are over.”  I’m finding it hard to pull my gaze away from his.  “Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, babe. You scared the shit out of me though, so don’t ever do it again.”

“Okay.”  He leans up and kisses my lips.  “I promise, no more doing your job for you.”

“I fucking love you, woman.” 

“I love you too, man.”   I smile up at him as best I can.  

“I thought I’d lost you again.”  He looks at me with the saddest blue eyes.  “First to the life you’d led, then to a bullet.  I don’t want to ever feel that again.  I don’t know how to explain it to you, the feeling, it was like someone ripped out my heart.”

“That someone being me?”  It feels like there’s an anvil on my chest, hearing his words and looking at his face.

“Yeah. The anger I felt at myself when I found out what you’d done for us and then for doubting you.  But damn, woman, you played me good―damn good.”

I chew on my words before letting them out.  “I’m not sure if that’s a cut or a compliment.  I know it was hard for me to do it, even though it was something I had to do. I had to bring him down and hurting you and the others was the only way I could do it.  I’m sorry for all this.” He goes to stop me and I hold up my hand.  “And before you say I have nothing to apologize for again, I know I do.  I promised you no more lies, then all I did was lie to you.”  I blink back the tears burning the back of my eyes.  “And it made me feel like shit, Roman. I’m so sorry.  I wanted to tell you so many times what was going on, and I know I should have.”  Finally the dam bursts and I feel the river running down my cheek.

He stands and presses his forehead to mine.  “Shh, baby, don’t cry―it’s all right.”  He leans back, wiping away my tears then leans back in to kiss me.   Never taking his mouth from mine, I feel his hot breath drift across my skin.  “I understand why you did it and now we’re on the other side of it.  My focus now is getting you healthy.  That’s all I can think about now is you at home with me.”

I feel hope grow in my chest.  I had convinced myself at the beginning of this whole thing he would be done with me for good, regardless of the outcome.  “Really?”

“Yes, really.”  He kisses me again and this time, his lips linger over mine.  “Like I said, I fucking love you, woman. You got under my skin years ago and this time, I’m holding onto you forever.”

Leo, pushing Eno in a wheelchair through the door breaks us from our moment.  He stops, smiling a shit-eating grin.  “What were you two doing?”

Roman stands, straightening himself. I look away, drying my face.  “Nothing, dipshit.”  He sees his sister.  “Damn it, Piper, can you not control it just once.” 

She glides through the door, coming over to me.  “I told you they would pay hell.”  She kisses my cheek.  “Hey, babe.”  She smiles at me.

Leo continues in and parks Eno near the foot of my bed.  “Hey Eno.”

“Hey to you too.”  His expression is amused although he tries to make it sour.

“Don’t be mad at me.”  I bark at him.

“Why not? You left me in a wheelchair outside the ER in thirty two degree weather?  Without a shirt on.”

“I called 911 and told them you were out there.”  I smooth my blanket with my hands, trying my best not to laugh at his expression.  “I had stuff to do.”

He looks at me and gives me his boyish, arrogant smile.  “And how did that work out for you.”

“Leave it, Eno.”  Leo’s sharp tone cuts through the air, making everyone quiet.

“I’m just saying.”  He holds his hands up.

“What exactly are you saying?”  Roman asks Eno.

“Nothing, man. She knows I’m just joking.  Hell, I have a few broken ribs, I’m nowhere near as bad off as she is.”  He rolls closer to the bed and pats my leg.  “Thank you for what you did.”  His sweet smile makes me smile. 

I’d do it again, but Roman doesn’t need to know that.

~~~~~~

I study my refection in the mirror, resting my fingers on the bandage covering the gash in my cheek.  The reconstruction surgery had gone well, but the aftermath looks way worse.  The once black bruise has changed over the days to a nasty egg yolk yellow with green and purple hues. 

“Stop worrying about it, babe. You look amazing.”  Roman walks up behind me, encircling my waist with his strong arms.  He kisses my hair.

“Are you sure? I think I look like the biggest freak on the planet.” The scar left runs from the corner of my mouth, almost to corner of my eye.  Roman’s offered to pay for plastic surgery, but when we’d gone in for the consult, the doctor said there wasn’t much he could do. 

He turns me in his arms so we’re face to face.  “Hollis, there has never been anything further from the truth.”  He kisses me again.  “Now finish getting ready. They’re all there waiting for us.”

The nerves I’ve been living with since I’d been released from the hospital start to eat me alive.  Everyone has been coming and going from the house since I’ve been home, and it’s all been great.  Avery has been mother henning me to death, while Emily’s cleaned everything in this house from top to bottom three times. Piper, well, Piper is the one who’s shocked the shit out of me the most. 

“I’m nervous, Roman.” 

He squeezes me tightly into him.  “Don’t be, babe, it’s nothing. All you need to do is tell what happened and that’s it.”

“That’s easy for you to say.  Will Markus be in the building?”  To tell the truth, I’ve worried more about being in the same building as Markus more than I have about having to give a statement on what happened. 

He kisses me again.  “He’s in federal lockup.” He separates from me and goes to the bed, tugging on his dress shirt.  “Everybody’s been in but you. They just need your statement to wrap up the investigation.”

“And then what will happen?”  I cross over to the closet that’s now filled with a ton of my clothes, not just Romans, thanks to Piper and the girls.  I choose what I’d ironed the night before and begin to dress.

“Charges will be filled and we’ll get this fucking family out of our lives forever.”  He finishes his belt.  “And that sounds like music to my fucking ears.”  He kisses me again and gives my ass a squeeze.  “Kent raised hell until he was appointed the one who got to question you.”  I smile at him, basking in the love this family has extended to me. They’ve all gone above and beyond, making me feel welcome and that I belonged.  “See? You belong somewhere, you belong with us.”