From The Wreckage (17 page)

Tornado Safety Tip: If you can't get to safety, lie flat and face-down on low ground, and protect the back of your head with your arms.

They were taught that message in school for years, and it's what they did. It worked for all but two of them; Tanya and another Hillsdale student, a senior named Mike Brown who was well known and well liked as a bit of a class clown type. His was the first funeral she went to, last Tuesday.

Apparently Tommy's arm was broken by some falling debris as they lay there covering their head. The tornado went by the culvert they'd hidden in, but it was the debris that turned deadly.

"I really liked her, you know," Tommy confesses; his hand rubbing against his cast.

"She liked you too, Tommy."

He looks past her head and nods. "Hey, my parents are waving for me to go. I'll see you later?" he asks and she agrees, hoping they will be able to talk some more. She stands to the side, behind Stuart and the guys on the football team, when Stuart's mom walks up beside her.

"How are you doing, sweetie? How's your mom and dad?"

"They're okay. Jason is having a hard time, but..."

She starts to say, 'We're all alive,' but it sounds so crude in this situation.

"But it's hard. This is going to take a while to recover from. This town will be hurting for a long time."

Jules looks at Stuart's beautiful mother's face, observing the almost bitter look there. She knows it’s true. She's learned enough about natural disasters in Social Studies and watched enough newscasts to know how long it takes to get over something of this magnitude. But they
will
get over it.
Texas wasn't built on the backs of
yuppies
, she thinks. Texas is full of cowboys, farmers and indomitable southern people who take pride in their land and their country.

"You ready to go?" Stuart asks and slips his arm around her.

"I suppose we should," she agrees reluctantly and gives his mom a quick hug as they leave to find her car.

Her parents drove separate vehicles so one of them could take Jason home instead of going to the grave site. She sits in the back seat with Stuart, his hand resting on her thigh, as her mother drives them slowly to the cemetery, following the funeral procession heading that way.

They’re silent the entire drive. Stuart acts a little nervous, throwing small smiles at her whenever she looks at him.

"How was your trip to your grandparents’, Stuart?" her mother asks when the silence apparently becomes too much for her.

Jules feels his hand flex on her leg before he answers. "It was nice. Obviously, they were so relieved we were safe. You know my mother, too
—
she's having a hard time dealing with the chaos here."

"Aren't we all?" Jules murmurs more to herself than to them. Her mom nods in agreement; whether it is with Stuart or Jules’ own comment, she isn’t sure.

"Can you come back to my house after the service?" Stuart asks softly, and it takes Jules a moment to realize he is talking to her.

"There's a reception at the Rivera's house afterwards."

"Oh...well can we go for a bit, and then you come back with me?"

"I guess. Mom?"

"Of course you can, hun."

Stuart gives her another nervous smile before he looks out the window. Jules follows suit and watches out the window as they pull into the cemetery and park.

She looks at the backs of the people in front of her, wearing black and crossing the grass to Tanya's final resting place. When she steps out of the car, Stuart reaches for her hand, but she feigns needing to fix her hair and he ends up stuffing his hands in his pockets instead. She crosses her arms over her chest and rubs the non-existent chills from her bare arms.

Tanya's parents picked a beautiful spot next to a pond, with huge shade trees and benches along a path. As they move closer to the plot, she scans the crowd and the many faces of her friends. She notes arms wrapped around waists and shoulders with hands clasped tightly. People she never knew were friends are holding onto each other. Once again, she is struck with the way this event has changed everything.

Out of the corner of her eye, she finds a dark head of messy hair standing in the middle of the crowd. He’s taller than most of the students he stands by, which makes him easy to recognize. She never paid much attention to how much he'd grown over the years. He’s probably a good three inches taller than Stuart and a head taller, if not more, than the girls around him.

She stops walking when she sees him, and a strange jolt of jealousy streams through her as she watches him wrap an arm around the shoulders of the girl next to him. The girl has straight blonde hair with a black, lace-looking headband on, but she can’t get a look at her face to know who it is.

"Jules?"

Turning away from West's profile, she looks at Stuart. "I need to sit with the family. Mrs. Rivera asked me and Katie to sit there," she remembers; placing her hand on his arm lightly. "Sorry; I should have told you before.

"Oh." He looks around and nods his head towards a group of their friends. "I'll be with the guys, then."

They stand there for a moment and Jules recognizes how truly awkward things seem between them. Trying to cover it, she steps to him and places a light kiss on his cheek before walking towards Tanya's family.

The burial service is much like the other three she's been to this week. A few last words, biblical passages, tearful moments watching family members remove flowers from the large bouquet draped over a gleaming casket. Jules scans the faces of the crowd a few times, although she takes great care to keep from looking directly at West. She finds her mother, who offers her a weak, tearful smile. Stuart, who is standing with Jeff, Ruben and Tommy, never meets her glances when she looks his way. He looks deep in thought, staring up at the sky and trees or with his head bent slightly towards the ground.

She knows a moment of surprise as her eyes drift past Carter, Tanya's summer fling. Similar to everyone else around him, he looks somber. Beside him stands a younger girl whose eyes look red and puffy. At closer inspection, Jules notices how much she resembles Carter and guesses the girl might be his sister or some other close family member. She wonders why he would bring her here, and then wonders why
he
is even there, but discards those thoughts almost immediately. She knew they’d had a relationship, regardless of how brief it was. She’s glad he came to say goodbye to her.

When the service is over, she is smothered with hugs by Tanya's large family. She and Katie step up to the casket sitting above the final resting place, where they will lower Tanya's body once the family and mourners have taken their leave. Katie leans in and presses a kiss to the white casket; whispering a few words before plucking a pink flower from the bouquet and stepping back.

"Go ahead…I'm going to take a moment," she whispers when Katie places her hand on Jules’ arm to pull her away.

She stands there staring at the casket and the flowers…the place where her beautiful, vibrant best friend will lay forever, and although she wants to fall to the ground and cry forever, her legs stay strong and no tears come.

When she feels someone step up beside her she doesn’t bother looking back; instead she raises her hand and waits to feel the warm touch she knows will come. The touch she now craves every hour of every day.

"Do you wonder why we lived? Why we were saved, when in all honesty we should have been crushed to death?" she asks, her throat closing in on her.

She feels his thumb rub over hers as he crushes her hand with his. "Every day," West states simply, and she lifts her head to look at his face.

He stares straight ahead, perhaps looking out over the pond, with his shoulders squared and his dark dress shirt stretched over his frame. Once again she is struck by how amazingly gorgeous he is. She can’t believe she's been blind to him all these years.

He sighs and moves to pull his hand from hers. "Don't," she insists, noting the panic in her voice.

He doesn’t look at her as she takes a step closer to him and leans into his side. Her head rests against his bicep because he is that much taller than her. She feels him stiffen and knows she shouldn't be seeking comfort from him, but she can’t seem to stop herself from doing it.

"This is why," he breathes. His voice is so soft, she barely hears him over the crowd milling about behind them.

"This is why, what?"

"
This
is why we’re alive, Jules." His words are spoken with so much confidence it only takes a moment for her to realize what he means. He is referring to them, together. She sucks in her breath as he raises their entwined hands to his lips and kisses her knuckles.

Sixteen

"Now let me tell you, T
—
I
knew
I was playing with fire," Jules admits to the camera; pulling out of the story for a moment. "I don't know how to explain it. West Rutledge made me forget everything and everyone the moment he touched my hand."

Shrugging at the screen, she continues on. "So there we were, leaning into each other and holding hands in front of anyone and everyone, when I hear Stuart’s voice behind me...”

* * *

Jules spins around; her hands flying to her hair nervously as she steps away from West.

"I'll see you later," West mumbles before she can speak.

She stands there as Stuart and West pass each other with nothing but a head nod of acknowledgment. The cold shoulder attitude perplexes her.

Stuart stops short of reaching Jules and turns halfway around. He watches West walk away and she holds her breath, wondering if he saw how closely they were standing.

"Your mom is ready when you are."

"Um, okay." She gives Tanya's casket a final touch before allowing Stuart to escort her to the car. Neither of them speak.

The reception is a crowd of family and friends sitting and standing around, eating finger foods and discussing better days. The Riveras placed mementos from Tanya's life around the house; pictures from school, medals from cheerleading camps. It almost feels like a flashback of her own childhood as Jules walks around the first floor.

She makes polite conversation with several friends and teachers from school, but begins to feel exhausted. After an hour, she wants to head home.

Stuart looks about as comfortable as she feels, and gladly agrees to leave when she finds him standing in the backyard chatting with a crowd from school. Her mom decided to grab a ride home with Katie's parents so Jules could have the car, since Stuart had ridden with them to the house. She throws the keys to Stuart as they make their way to the car.

"Jules? You're leaving?" she hears Katie call behind her.

Her heart gives a small lurch when she spots Katie standing with Jeff and West, of all people. She's been inside since they got to the house, and didn't know he was there. She looks at him leaning against a porch railing; his body turned as if he spun around when Katie called out her name. His shirt sleeves are rolled up, his tanned arms are crossed over his stomach and his ankles are crossed. He looks totally comfortable standing there talking with Jeff, and she recalls their conversation on the phone last night.

He told her she could ask Jeff about his feelings for her. How did she miss their friendship all these years? Has she really been that consumed in her own life that she missed so much of what her friends were doing around her?

Katie bounds down the porch steps when Jules doesn’t answer her. "You guys are leaving already?" she asks again as she comes up and gives Jules a hug.

"Um, yeah. I'm not feeling well. My head is pounding." Although she speaks to Katie, she maintains eye contact with West. She notices Jeff say something, and West pulls up straight and shrugs.

"I'll call you later, ‘kay?"

Katie nods and steps back. "See ya, Stu." She waves and watches them get in the car. As Stuart cranks the engine, Katie holds up her hand and shouts, "Wait!"

"Hold up." She taps Stuart's arm and unbuckles her seatbelt; hopping out of the car in time to meet Katie's hug.

"I love you, Jujube." Katie sniffles and squeezes her tightly.

"Awww, I love you too, K."

"How do we get used to this?"

Jules wants to cry again. "I don't know," she admits on a choked breath. "We just do."

They pull back from each other and Katie looks around sheepishly. Jules doesn’t care what they look like to others. No one knows what they are going through. No one else knows what it’s like to be a part of the friendship that she, Katie and Tanya had.

"You're going to have to get used to me saying I love you a lot." Katie laughs and shoves Jules back to the car. "Go on, now."

With a small smile, Jules agrees and opens the car door. She starts to slide into her seat when something occurs to her. Standing halfway in the door with one foot remaining on the ground, she calls after Katie's back.

"Hey, K. Let's do girl’s night Tuesday."

Girl’s night was a tradition with the girls since middle school. They alternated houses weekly and watched whatever their current guilty pleasure was. The best thing television series’ had begun to do was start all new summer seasons of shows, thus making girl’s nights a year-long event. For some reason, this past summer was more hit-and-miss than usual.