Authors: Michele G Miller
"Then I'm happy I came by, if only for him."
"You're totally going to lose your bad boy reputation, Rutledge."
"Do I have one?"
"You did, but I'm wondering if it was all part of some elaborate ruse."
"Reputations often are," he offers.
"I'm sorry I didn't call last night. I fell asleep, if you can believe that."
"I thought maybe you changed your mind." Jules hears the nervous hitch in his voice.
"Changed my mind? About what...you and I? Why in the world would you think that?" She pushes up to her toes and presses a kiss on his chin, because that is the only thing she can reach without him leaning down.
"I keep thinking you're going to get your memory back from before the tornado."
"Huh?"
"I know; I'm crazy, right? I don't know if I could handle it, Jules. You're not going to wake up and be all – ‘Dude, I love Stuart! What am I doing with
this
loser?’"
Jules would have laughed if his comment didn't make her so angry. "Dude? What the hell? First, I have all of my memory from before the tornado and I’m not changing my mind. Second, don't call my boyfriend a loser, you loser," she growls, and kicks at his foot with hers.
"Your boyfriend, huh?"
"Yeah, my boyfriend. Didn't we just agree to this last night? Or are you already leaving me? Is that part of your bad boy charm…love 'em and leave 'em?"
She bites her tongue when she realizes she said
love
. All of a sudden he appears to be questioning things, and she just mentioned the 'L' word. Way to go.
"I told you, gorgeous, I'm not leaving. As for love, well I've never been there with another girl."
"You haven't? Not even with Carley Raine?"
"Nope. Not even Carley. She was fun, but she wasn't love."
Jealousy blooms in her heart and suddenly she kicks herself as she asks the one thing she knows she shouldn't. "And what about me? Am I just fun?"
He presses her against his chest; his hand increasing the pressure on her back, glaring at her almost angrily as he bites out his next words. "You, Jules Blacklin, are not for fun. You are..." He swallows hard, the muscle in his cheek leaping.
"Never mind, I was playing."
He kisses her then, a short peck, which effectively shuts her up before he tells her calmly, "No, you should know. You’re not for fun.
You
might even be love." He pauses, stepping back and running a hand over his face. "I think, or at least I'm pretty sure, I could fall in love with you. Does that scare the crap out of you?"
For a few moments she’s a fish out of water. She struggles to breathe, much less comprehend what he just said. Then she grabs his face and makes him look directly at her.
"The only thing that scares me right now is that I feel the same way."
Pulling his face to hers, she kisses him soundly, but not before she spots the soft warmth in his eyes.
"This is crazy," she whispers against his mouth.
"But real," he counters, his voice as low as hers.
"Perfectly real."
West's hand rounds her hip, curving over her backside much as it did the day before, but this time she doesn’t laugh when he asks, "Do I get to see your room?"
She works hard to suppress the knowing smile tugging at her mouth as she pulls him behind her and down the small hallway into her bedroom. She expects him to attack her the moment they cross the threshold, but instead what she finds when she rounds on him is a very serious face as he checks out the room.
Looking around, she quickly scans the floor for anything that might embarrass her. She's always been a neat freak, and today’s impromptu visit makes her glad she is. Her room isn’t overly girly. There are a few stuffed animals in a chair, and pictures of friends and family cover the two cork boards over the desk that holds her laptop. The white lace curtains covering both windows are about the most feminine items in there. Her bedding is deep gray with white throw pillows, and her bookshelves are covered in books, trophies, framed pictures and knickknacks she's collected through the years.
West finds the stack of pictures piled on her desk and picks up the one on top, which is the one from the pool party where he’s looking at her. She waits to hear what he will say, and moves to sit on the edge of her bed.
"I've never seen these." He holds the picture up and shuffles the others on the desk around. "Man, we look so young."
"We
were
young."
"I would do so many things differently if I could go back to those days," he confesses, and she watches his face fall. "So many things," he adds in a whisper, and she wonders what he means.
She is about to ask him to explain when Jason yells up the stairs. "Jules! No boys in your room!"
She rolls her eyes as she gets up and stands behind West. He feels far away for a moment, and she touches his back softly to offer some sort of comfort for whatever he is feeling. He shakes his head slightly and places the picture back on top of the pile.
"Come on, cheerleader,' he teases quite suddenly; whirling around on her. “No boys allowed in your room."
In honor of the 'No boys in your room' rule, they spend the day with Jason wedged between them, watching
Star Wars
movies and pigging out.
It is close to ten that evening when Jules finally decides to kick West out. They have pizza for dinner, watch the first four
Star Wars
movies and Jason falls asleep on the couch between them. Her parents are due home sometime soon, and she decides it’s better for West if he doesn’t have to face them yet.
They hold hands as she walks him to the door. "I'm not worried about meeting them as your boyfriend, you know. I don't want you to worry about me."
"I know. It's just...I told my mom there was something between us, but...I don't know. I guess I feel like I should tell them we’re seeing each other before they walk in on us."
"You're going to tell them though, right?" he asks suspiciously. "I mean, they don't hate me or something, do they?"
"West! Of course not." She pulls him down to her lips and presses a quick kiss to his. "They think you're awesome. You saved me, remember?"
Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he kisses her; his mouth slanting over hers slowly as he coaxes her lips to open to him.
"Shoot…I completely forgot to tell you I'll be gone for the weekend. My dad and I are getting up early and heading to the big game at A&M."
Jules’ face falls. "I'm jealous," she admits, and rubs her cheek against his chest. "So I won't see you until Monday?"
"Yeah. Carson, my older brother and his girlfriend, Mindy, live about thirty minutes from campus, so we always stay at their place after the games. Austin lives there too, kinda, and he usually gets to hang too, it’s a lot of manly stuff. We probably won't head back until late Sunday. I'll see if I can guilt dad into coming back earlier so I can stop by."
"No, don't do that. See your brothers and have a good time. I'll be sitting here withering away without you," she teases, although part of her feels the bit of truth in that statement.
Ridiculous
, she thinks.
"Jules?" She looks up into his face when his soft voice says her name. "Every minute I'm not with you, I'm thinking about you and wanting to be with you."
"Me too," she confesses, and kisses him goodbye one last time.
Twenty-Three
The first day of her senior year rolls around the next Monday; two weeks late and in defiance of all the wishes and prayers from Jules that this year would never happen. Unbeknownst to anyone, she cries silently in the shower for a good twenty minutes before she is able to pull herself together. Makeup covers the dark circles and blush makes her pale skin glow, but inside? Inside she is numb.
The night before, she has another dream with Tanya in it. They are running hand in hand, laughing and shouting like they did on Friday nights, when they run across the football field. The crowd cheers, florescent lights shine down and they are happy. A piercing scream from Tanya's chest replaces the laughter on their lips as a giant black cloud falls from the sky and lands in front of them. The powerful funnel pulls at Tanya, her hand is ripped violently from Jules' grasp and she disappears. Before Jules can scream, she is hit in the back by something heavy, which jolts her awake with a cry. The nightmare leaves her shaken, yet again.
As she puts the finishing touches on her first day look, her cell buzzes at her from her nightstand.
Spike: Hey gorgeous! Sure I can't pick you up?
They had the same conversation several times over the weekend. Her parents are totally against her riding on his bike, and his car is currently with his older brother at school while his is in the shop. Katie and Jules are going to ride together, the way they would have if Tanya were still alive.
Jules: You know I'm riding with Katie
West: I know, but I can't wait to see your face. I want everyone at Rossview to know you’re mine. Sit in the car & wait for me?
Jules: LOL. You're kidding, right?
West: No
Jules: West!
West: You don't know those guys. They're vultures when a hot girl is around. You're wearing a bag, right?
She laughs as she looks down at her short dress and ankle boots. Replying 'Of course. See you soon!' she is happy to feel a smidge lighter as she makes her way down the stairs.
It’s too early for Jason to be awake yet, but Jules is surprised to find her mom and dad in the kitchen, sitting over coffee.
"Good morning, my senior girl!" her mom sings; awfully bright and cheery for such an early hour.
Jules mimics the caveman 'Ugh' and grabs a glass for some juice.
"Do you have time to eat something? I made bacon. Want me to fry up an egg?"
Jules hasn't eaten a 'real' breakfast before school since elementary school. In middle school it transitioned to Pop-tarts and Toaster Strudels, then she converted to Slim Fast shakes for a while in the erroneous assumption that her tiny frame was too athletic, thanks to years of gymnastics and cheerleading. By her sophomore year, she became more secure with herself and reverted back to a quick Pop-tart out the door, which is undoubtedly the breakfast of champions. Starbucks had also become a morning staple, especially when she chose to ride with the girls over Stuart.
With a quick glance at her watch, she pulls the microwave open to snag a strip of extra crispy bacon.
"Katie will be here any minute. We didn't know how long it would take us to get there with all the detours and traffic." She sets her empty cup on the counter and grabs a water bottle and the lunch she packed the night before.
"Picture first."
"Mom, I need to run," Jules lies. She isn’t in the mood to commemorate this day.
"Oh, just a quick one," her mom insists, already waving the camera in her hand. With a sigh, Jules trudges to the front door where she always poses for the annual picture. "Say ‘senior’!" her mom sings teasingly as the flash blinds Jules.
"Yay," Jules grumbles, and her dad frowns at her while her mother's face sinks.
"It's not much to ask for, Jules. Just one smile. It's your last first day of school, honey," he reminds her softly.
"I suppose I should be dancing, seeing as how I'm
so
lucky to be alive," Jules snaps.
"Honey?"
Katie's red car pulls up in front of the house and Jules fakes a smile. "Have a good day."
With a quick jerk of the door, she stalks to the car without another word to her parents. How can they be so insensitive to how she feels today? A first day of school picture? What did it matter anymore?
She folds herself into Katie's little coupe and Katie speaks the exact thoughts she has. "Too soon to skip?"
"Probably."
"Bummer."
They pull away from the curb, her parents standing in the door watching them, and Jules sighs heavily for the one-hundredth time that morning.
Katie eyes her carefully as she speeds through the streets of her neighborhood. "So, I've been a mess all morning. You?"
"Yeah. It wasn't supposed to be like this, K."
"I know," she agrees sadly. Jules looks at her best friend and smiles slightly at her outfit. They'd all gone shopping for school clothes together a few weeks ago, and planned their matching, yet slightly different, back-to-school outfits. They had done it for years, in honor of their matching backpacks on their first day of Kindergarten when they all met. Today it consists of matching dresses and boots, but the dresses are each different color schemes. They are a trendy Aztec print, but where hers is earth-toned orange and turquoise, Katie’s is pastel-toned pink and blue. Tanya, had she been here, would have worn brighter, almost fluorescent tones.
It is very reminiscent of their personalities. Jules, the laid-back, more earthy girl; Katie, the sweet one; and Tanya, the loud, boisterous one. Jules sniffs and tries to contain the pain that comes with the memories.