Authors: Margaret Tanner
The hut felt cozy now, giving her a sense of belonging, a feeling she lacked in Adam's house because of the circumstances of their marriage.
They spent a pleasant few hours, eating their picnic lunch of cold meat, fresh jam tarts and scones.
“Can I swirl the billy around in the air like the stockman do?” Jamie asked.
“No, definitely not.”
“Adam showed me how to do it.”
They played hide and seek, Jamie doing most of the hiding. She lived in terror of snakes. David used to regularly kill them down near their hay shed. Vile, horrible creatures. Touser, on more than one occasion, dropped a dead snake at her feet in tribute, thumping his tail to show what a clever fellow he was.
She felt sad whenever she thought of the old dog, a faithful companion to her small brother when he needed a special friend. Jamie never spoke his name now; maybe it had receded into his memory, or more likely Adam filled the void in his affection.
The games tired them both out, so they snuggled down on the bed, made comfortable with sheets and blankets.
Tommy blinked her eyes several times. She must have fallen asleep. She turned her head to find Jamie sleeping, curled up in a little ball beside her. A noise came from the roof; a piece of bark must have worked itself loose; strange she hadn’t noticed it before.
Sitting up, she patted her hair back into place before shaking Jamie awake. The noise intensified; it wasn't loosened bark from the roof—it was rain.
“Jamie, it's raining.”
He jumped up, eager to go outside to see his first rain since arriving in Australia. They went to the doorway and great sheets of rain greeted them. The heavens had opened up.
They rushed outside. Standing there, laughing and shouting they let the rain drench them. A jagged flash of lightning slashed the sky, followed by a loud clap of thunder. The rain hitting the ground lay in pools on the rock-hard earth. It would take some time for the soil to moisten enough for the water to soak in.
They went inside the hut and Tommy extinguished the fire before picking up her basket. After latching the door, they started for home.
By the time they reached the homestead they were soaking wet, their hair plastered to their heads. She carried her hat because after a short time, the weight of the water kept pushing the brim down on to her face.
Arriving at the homestead, they found Adam waiting for them, his face darker than the blackest thundercloud.
“Where have you two been?” He stood with a scowl on his face, hands on his hips, feet apart.
“We went to Tommy's little house and fell asleep. The rain woke us up. Whoopee.”
“Get inside and out of those wet clothes.”
“Stop ordering me around. It's heavenly feeling the rain against my skin.” Tommy pirouetting in front of him caused his face to darken even more.
“I'm warning you,” he snarled. “Jamie, go inside and tell Mrs. Rogers to prepare you a hot bath.”
“All right.” He flashed a grin before darting away.
“Now, come in out of the rain this instant.”
“Why should I?” She did a few more dance steps deliberately taunting him. Any reaction from him was better than stony, brooding silence.
“Come inside.” He lunged. Darting back she forced him to follow her out into the wet. He grabbed hold of one arm and pulled her onto the verandah.
On the verandah she twisted free. “Just because you came home last night like a drunken pig.”
“Shut up. For God’s sake, stop goading me.” He turned on his heel and disappeared inside, almost banging the door shut in her face.
****
It rained almost non-stop now. For the first few days everyone danced around outside, letting themselves get drenched. After two weeks of sometimes torrential rain they started to worry. The drought was crippling, but a flood right now would finish them off.
As suddenly as it came, it went. The sun shone from a blue sky only flecked with fluffy white clouds. The bird life returned; hundreds of parrots and cockatoos sat on every tree branch or post. Tommy had no idea where they came from.
She went into town with Adam for the first time since their marriage. She had not even been able to say farewell to Jim and Mary Cavendish, who returned to Beechworth to live with relatives when the drought forced them off their land.
Adam stocked up on their supplies and the quantities he ordered amazed her. “Do you want anything?” he asked gruffly.
“Um, yes, I want to get some sewing material.”
“All right, I’ll leave you to it. Put everything on my account. You can come along with me, Jamie.”
Unbeknown to Adam, she bought yards of fine white linen, piles of wool and needles to start the baby's layette.
He gave her parcel a cursory glance but didn’t bother to ask what it contained.
They spoke to several people. Adam rested his hand on her shoulder. She forced herself to stand stiffly and not respond to the heat of his touch. He obviously did not intend for anyone to guess the true state of their marriage. She felt attractive in a blue velvet gown with a matching jacket and hat. Because of the weather, instead of wearing a cloak she wore a dolman, just a shade or two darker in color than her gown. But Adam didn’t seem to care what she wore. He gave her little more than a cursory glance these days.
He promised to buy her new clothes when he asked her to marry him, but did nothing about it except off-handedly tell her she could send to Melbourne for a catalogue. It wasn’t the same as the shopping trip she had been looking forward to. Of course, as far as he was concerned, she hadn’t kept her part of the bargain to provide him with a son. She gave a smug little smile, imagining what his reaction would be when he learned her secret.
“Something amusing you? Why don’t you share the joke? I could do with a laugh.” He rubbed his hand across his jaw, in a weary, hopeless gesture that tore at her heart.
“I remembered something I heard the other day.” She would have been happy to confide in him if he had shown any softening in his attitude toward her. Some sign that he cared.
The long journey home in the wagon made her regret having accepted his half-hearted invitation. By the time they arrived at the homestead, she wanted nothing more than to lie down. Jamie jumped down by himself. Adam lifted her to the ground, his hands about her waist strong, impersonal and he quickly stepped away from her. He made it crystal clear he couldn’t bear to be near her.
“I might have a lie down before dinner, I feel weary.”
Leaving the two of them to deal with the unloading, she made her way into the bedroom. After removing her outer clothing, she thankfully slipped under the covers. Having always been strong and full of vigor, this lethargy was worrying. Perhaps she should have called in and seen the doctor even if it meant telling Adam.
In the quiet haven of her bedroom she fretted about her condition. Foolishly, incomprehensibly, she had fallen in love with a man who married her just to beget heirs, without feeling a scrap of affection for her. Deep in her heart, she nurtured the hope he might begin to feel something for her, but as time passed he became colder, more distant.
He wasn’t happy either. She saw the pained expression in his eyes sometimes. Full of regret for not marrying Sophia as he originally planned?
The fact that his child grew inside her, a seed planted in what she wrongly assumed to be love, brought tears to her eyes. He would never feel anything for her, she would be crazy to believe otherwise. As the mother of his child he would tolerate her. She wanted more from him than that. She fell asleep and dreamed that he sat by the bed, stroking her hair and whispering words of endearment.
****
Adam sighed deeply. For God’s sake, what was Tommy doing to herself? She looked so sad sometimes he could have wept for what
he
had done.
He had cheapened what they shared on their wedding night with some stupid remark to Rodney. It had been a desperate form of self-preservation. Drunk and all as Rodney had been, he was astute enough to pick up on how vulnerable he felt when it came to Tommy. He couldn’t take the risk of letting anyone know that, despite all his sneering over the years about men being weak-willed when it came to a pretty woman, he had succumbed himself. But hell, Tommy was no ordinary woman.
Chapter Fourteen
“I’d like you to come with me to see my cousin Melanie,” Adam announced one morning. “She’s married to Richard Jarratt.”
“Jarratt? Weren’t they the people who sent us the silver cutlery service?”
“Yes, we’ll have an early lunch before we go.”
“You’ve never mentioned any relatives.”
“You didn’t ask.” He raked his fingers through his hair and frowned. “I’m worried about Melanie.”
“You are?” Tommy feigned shock. “I thought you only cared about four-legged things.”
“Jarratt is twisted and vicious. No one has seen Melanie for months. I ran into her father, Arthur, yesterday and he asked me to call in and see them on some pretext or other.”
“Why doesn’t he go himself?”
“Because Jarratt won’t let him near the place, they hate each other’s guts. He only married Melanie out of revenge.”
Adam hadn’t spoken more than a dozen words to her in days. Amazing the change of tune when he wanted something, but she was interested despite herself. “Go on.”
“Jarratt owned a property a few miles out of Bendigo. Arthur worked there for a time. Jarratt’s wife’s name was Maryanne, a beautiful woman by all accounts, but selfish and spoilt.” Adam’s lips twisted. “Typical woman. Anyway, Jarratt was besotted with her, insanely jealous.
“He caught her and Arthur together one day, all perfectly innocent, but he became enraged and dismissed him. Arthur left straight away but Maryanne followed him into town. Jarratt thought they planned to run away together.”
“Really?” The story sounded like some melodrama from a trashy novel, but a team of wild horses wouldn’t have dragged her away from this tale.
“Maryanne was with child. She drove recklessly and her buggy tipped over in the main street. Arthur, drowning his sorrows in the hotel, rushed outside and she died in his arms just as Jarratt arrived on the scene. The baby was born dead.
He carried on like a madman. Said Arthur should be charged with murder. When he wasn’t, Jarratt claimed he stole a large sum of money. Poor Arthur spent two years in jail for a nonexistent crime.”
“What an awful story. You really think he means to harm Melanie?” What sort of fiend was he?
“I’m sure of it. I don’t like meddling in other people’s affairs, but Arthur sounded desperate. He’ll be working in Melbourne for a few months, wants Melanie to know she has somewhere to shelter if things become intolerable.”
“You want her to come here?”
“Yes.” His jaw thrust out. “She’s a nice little thing, wretchedly shy. Fey would be the best word to describe her.”
“I’d be happy for her to stay here. It would be nice having some cheerful adult company for a change.”
“Meaning?”
She tossed her head and glared at him. “Meaning, I’m fed up with your surly moods and foul temper.”
“I’ve had a lot on my mind.” He sighed and the lines gouging his mouth seemed even deeper than usual.