Frost (33 page)

I realized my error as soon as I looked for the window on the other side. I couldn't see into any of them. They were too high along the wall. It wasn't like I had a couch to climb on this time.
Idiot.

I could go back inside and show up at the bathroom door. The thought of the Vikings twins’ reactions sort of made me want to, but there was no way to explain myself if I just sauntered up. I'd have to go back and ask Loki for a boost.

My face was already burning as I headed back for the entrance. He was probably going to laugh at me, and I wouldn't blame him.

The sun was sinking along the skyline now, almost gone, throwing a few last spears of orange light across the surface of the snow. It had just started to set when I’d left, so that meant I hadn't been gone that long. Still, I walked as fast as I could, ignoring my sore ankle.

It might only be a matter of minutes before the Viking twins got suspicious.

Almost at the entrance, as I rounded the corner, the sound of voices skipped across the snow, echoing from up ahead.

"We need to work on our perimeter patrol. That's two men I've caught slacking. They're lucky I'm not the type to report it back to her."

I froze, my heart racing. The voice was Erik's.
Shit
.

If he saw me running around out here, there was no way he would believe I was just out for a stroll. He was smarter than that. The only other option was to go in the back entrance on the opposite side of the servants' quarters.

I bolted, my heart in my throat, praying that he wouldn't come this way before I ducked inside. The packed snow creaked under my feet, the sound sending a spike of panic through me. If he heard...

It seemed to take forever. The snow slowed me down, and my left ankle felt like it was being repeatedly jabbed with a hot poker. Finally, I reached the door and snatched at the handle with shaking hands, afraid I would find it mysteriously locked.

When it creaked open, I could have cried with relief.

I stepped through and nearly walked right into someone. Another guard.

He gave me a startled look, and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I just went looking for Erik. I found him. He's meeting me in the library later."

The guard blinked, and I ducked my head and kept going, relieved he wasn't trying to stop me. Of course there was another guard on the back door. I should have figured that one out. Apparently, I was terrible at this sneaking-around stuff.

What if he reported back to Erik or asked him how our library meeting went? No, I was overthinking this. It was fine. I would sneak back inside, go all the way to the servants' quarters, and get Loki.

And then...go back outside?

Damn. I'd have to get him past the guards. And yeah, they thought he was a servant, but somehow, I doubted that wig could hold up under scrutiny.

I was starting to sweat.

Back inside, the entrance I'd walked through led straight past the hallway where the public washroom was, so though I'd be all the way down a long hall, I'd still have to dart past the Viking twins without being seen. That was why I hadn't wanted to take this particular door.

The hallway was empty, but again, I could hear the echo of voices from somewhere up ahead. Dinner was over, and people had started filing out of the hall. This was probably the worst possible time for me to be sneaking around. My entire body was vibrating, and my stomach really did feel sick now.

Peering around the corner of the hallway, I was ready to duck back in as soon as I saw the beefy forms of the twins, but the hallway was empty.

What the hell?

This was definitely the right hallway though. More noise, behind me this time, and I squared my shoulders and scurried toward the bathroom. If they had given up and gone to report to Erik, I would at least pretend to be returning to them. Already, excuses were forming in my head. I was getting sick of them shadowing me everywhere. They were boring and silent, and they creeped me out.

Accurate. The best lies are based in truth.

When I reached the bathroom door, it was open, and the Viking twins were inside. They were facing away from me, their arms folded, both of them staring at the last bathroom stall on the end as if they expected me to materialize. I slipped inside, my heart thumping as I pressed myself into the corner beside the stall just as they both jerked upright and turned around.

"There she is."

Erik was furious. He was pacing back in forth in front of my bed, stomping so hard that the hand mirror on the vanity table kept rattling. By now, I was angry too, in defense mode, more out of fear than actual anger. If he found out why I'd really snuck out, I could get Loki killed.

"I told you." My voice sounded sharp, but I was too frustrated to care. "They were driving me nuts. You couldn't have assigned someone a little less creepy?"

"Creepy?" Erik spun on his heel and threw his hands in the air. "Your life could be in danger and all you can think about is how creepy they are? Seriously, Amora, what were you thinking?"

"I'm not Amora." I only muttered it under my breath this time, rebellious, sullen.

But Erik caught the words, and his eyes glittered. "Maybe you're right. Amora would have never done anything so stupid."

It had been driving me insane to constantly have people think of me as her, to have my own identity stripped away from me. But still, the words had been thrown at me like an insult, and it stung.

"Really? From what I've heard about her, she would have done the exact same thing if something was bothering her."

He faltered and then ran his hands through his hair, his chest heaving. I'd never seen him so worked up, not even when he'd seen the finger-shaped bruises Leif had left on my shoulder.

"You
know
you're in danger, don't you?" He spread his hands out, almost pleading now. "How can I make you understand that?"

When he leaned forward and seized my shoulders, I just blinked at him, startled. His face was so close to mine, his lips just inches away. He stared at me, his blue eyes lit from within. An almost feverish light.

"You have to understand me. The prince is a firecracker with a lit fuse, and Gunnar might be even worse. I need to keep you protected."

His eyes moved rapidly back and forth. He wasn't looking at me anymore. He was thinking, his expression going hard and cold. Still, he didn't let my shoulders go.

Any other time, having him this close might have given me butterflies, but it was cold dread that settled in my stomach instead. What was he about to do? Put another two guards on me? Lock me away in my room forever? I was supposed to meet Loki tomorrow.

He turned his gaze back to me. "You're staying here until I know you're safe. I've already berated those two. They know not to let you out of here unless I give them the command."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Erik's grip on my shoulders tightened ever so slightly, and he looked so furious that the complaints dried up on my tongue.

He released me and stepped back. "I'm talking to Leif too. He's going to find out exactly what the queen is capable of if he harms you."

I sat up straight, cold dread blooming inside my stomach. "Please don't. I don't want him—"

"You don't get a say in this anymore." He cut me off sharply. "I respected your request because I thought I could trust you not to do anything foolish. But now, it's clearly up to me to make sure you don't get yourself killed."

He turned away before I could think of anything else to say, stomping out of the room, slamming one of the double doors shut behind him.

Feeling drained, I let myself flop backward onto the bed. It made me feel a bit sick to have him so angry with me. But it was also a relief that he hadn't questioned my reason for having snuck away. Loki was safe.

He was safe, and he was leaving. And how the hell was I going to meet up with him tomorrow night? I wished Charlotte were here to talk to. I had to tell her that I was thinking of leaving. If she came, maybe she'd have some kind of plan to get us out.

The thought made me feel even guiltier about Erik. That was the last he'd see of me. We'd had a big fight, and now, I was going to disappear on him. Spirited away by his enemy, for all he knew.

Maybe I could leave him a note.

Sighing, I stared at the roof and waited for Charlotte to return. She was probably off somewhere with that boy she liked. And now, I had to be the one to tell her we were leaving tomorrow night.

I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow.

~ * ~

The door clicked open a minute later, and I sat up, Charlotte's name on my lips. When I saw who it was, my words died. Leif was standing in the doorway. He was dressed in a leather jerkin with a pointed collar over a white shirt, and he still had his sword strapped to his belt.

Judging by the snowflakes in his hair, he'd just come from outside. There was a white sweater draped over his shoulder, and he pulled it off and threw it carelessly. It landed in the middle of the floor.

"You left your sweater in the training room."

"That's not mine." I stood up slowly, my eyes darting from him to the door, which was still open a crack.

"Maybe your tiny friend did, then. I don't care." He stepped farther into the room, which made alarm bells go off in the back of my mind. He wasn't here to return a sweater. Did he think I was an idiot? But the Viking twins were by the door. I was safe.

"What do you want?"

Leif darted a look over one shoulder. He probably wasn't stupid enough to run me through with his sword right then and there. Probably.

"Look, I know we didn't get off on the right foot. I hated my sister. But...you're not actually her." He smiled—a thin, tight expression, but still shocking.

I blinked at him. Was Leif trying to be
nice
?

"You're not Amora, but my mother thinks you are. She's still going to force you into battle." He took another step closer, and I forced myself not to flinch. "I know you don't want to do it. You're just human. You won't survive."

And there it was. He was trying to scare me. "Get to the point, Leif."

He shrugged. "You can say no. You know that, don't you?"

"What?" I frowned.

Saying no wasn't really an option. I'd seen the queen when she was angry. I shook my head, mentally berating myself. There was no point in getting caught up in this. I wasn't going to battle anyway. Tomorrow, I was going with Loki. None of this mattered.

"Just step down," Leif said, and he paced forward.

It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, but I stood my ground. The Viking twins were right outside if I needed them.

"Step down from battle. From the throne. You don't really want to be queen. I can see that."

I folded my arms across my chest and gave him a level look. “You don’t know anything about me.”

His face went dark, and his mouth twitched as if he were barely keeping his temper under control.

This wasn't a friendly visit. I doubted there was such thing with him.

The scowl was back in place now, his mouth twisted in a snarl. The façade was gone. “You will step down, or I will force you to step down."

"What are you going to do?" I was baiting him. I knew that. "Stab me with your sword in the middle of the palace?" It was incredibly stupid on my part, but the fact that I was leaving tomorrow night made me a little bolder.

Leif couldn't stab me in the middle of my bedroom, with the doors open, and he knew it. The sweater had been a cover for him to see me. People would know he'd been here.

His hand twitched, and he growled, but he didn't go for the sword. "Step down. Tell my mother you don't want the throne."

Knowing that it was stupid but too pissed off to stop, I arched my eyebrows and said, "No. Maybe I like the idea of being queen. Did you ever think of that?"

If he knew me, he would have known I was bluffing.

Leif's face began to turn bright red. His hands shook, and he took one faltering step toward me. My chest grew tight, and I breathed in sharply, my hands twitching upwards, the cool sensation already buzzing in my arms.

"You try something," I whispered. "I'll freeze you like I froze Gunnar."

He curled his hands into fists, and for a second, I thought he might hit me. Instead, he stepped back and gave me another ugly smile. "You've become overconfident. That can get you killed." Then he turned and stomped out the door.

Watching his back as he strode away, I pictured myself snatching one of the perfume bottles off the vanity table and flinging it at his head.

He slammed the door behind him, so loudly that it made me jump.

Then it was silent, and for a long while, I stood in the center of the room staring at the white sweater crumpled on the icy floor.