Frozen Barriers (31 page)

“Hello.”

“Hi, it’s me,” I say just above a whisper.

“Jeremy?”

“Should I not have called? I thought it was still early in Vancouver, and I really couldn’t wait to talk to you,” I quickly shoot out while squeezing the steering wheel nervously.

“I’m not in Vancouver. I’m at home. I decided to leave Sunday morning instead.”

“So, I just woke you up is what you’re saying? I’m already scoring major points here.”

“Jeremy, what is so important that you need to call me at two in the morning?” I hear her yawning on her end.

“I miss you and your voice. I can’t take not talking to you one more day. The minute I got in my truck to drive home I figured that my mom couldn’t yell at me for calling since technically I’m home. Plus, I need to apologize for everything. I know you never read my texts or listened to my voicemails from that night, so I’ll tell you now. After all this time apart, I still fuckin’ love you. I just hope you find it in your heart to love me back.”

“Can you come over?” she pleads.

“Absolutely.”

“What I have to say I need to say to your face.”

I wonder what she needs to talk to me about face-to-face at this time of night. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that, but if you want me to come over, I’ll be there as fast as I can.” How can I ever deny her what she wants despite the growing uneasiness in my stomach?

“I’ll open the garage door. Just pull in the open stall and come upstairs.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in about twenty minutes.”

“See you soon.”

After taking home the gold at Skate Canada, I had mentally had enough. I changed my flight and hopped on a red-eye home. Mother wasn’t happy when I called her from the airport and said I was leaving. Once the picture of Jamie Dornan and me hit the tabloids, I somehow thought my mother could be involved after our hotel incident. I was right. I never thought she’d stoop that low when it came to slandering the Cameron name. It turned out the tabloid picture boosted people’s interest in me, therefore, helping sales. It figures my parents would consider using me in a scandal for their own benefit. The cameras held firm outside the hotel until the story blew over, but I only focused on winning the competition and getting home.

Pulling myself out of bed, I head downstairs to open the garage stall for Jeremy. As much as I know I should wait to talk to him, it’s been three weeks, and I need to see him and touch him. Grace wanted me to figure out where my head and heart were during our time apart. In more ways than none, I think I knew where my heart was before I even left. It was my head that needed to get figured out.

About ten minutes later, I hear the truck pulling into the stall and the garage door closing. A nervous feeling spreads over my body as I make my way around the kitchen trying to make myself a cup of chamomile tea. His footsteps up the stairs are fast and loud, and the soft knock on the door tells me it’s time to face the music. I turn the knob slowly, opening the door to see his forlorn face staring back at me.

“Hi, come on in,” I mutter as I turn, walking back toward the stove where the teakettle is beginning to whistle. Grabbing a mug from the cabinet, I look back at him and hold it up, silently asking if he wants one as well. He shakes his head no as he sits on the sofa. Pouring the steaming water over the teabag, I wait for it to finish steeping before joining opposite him on the sofa.

We sit silently for what seems like forever. My nails tapping the side of my mug is the only sound in the room. Why is this so difficult? It should be simple to talk to the person you love. This feels as though everything we worked toward before we left is all gone, like we’re strangers again. I take a quick sip of my hot tea before placing it onto the coffee table in front of me. Jeremy still doesn’t saying anything; he just sits with his head down and his hands folded over his knees. Is this it? Is this really goodbye?
Please say something, anything.
I fight back the tears that begin to cloud my vision before covering my mouth with my hand. Jeremy glances in my direction, noticing the change in my expression and comes over to my side. As I shake my head, he pulls me into his chest as a few tears slide down my face.

“I’m so sorry. I never should have left things the way I did. Had I just talked to you this whole thing could have been avoided,” I say between sobs.

Running his hands over my back, he shushes me. “Emily, you have no idea how hard it was to know what I did in my past caused you that much pain. I never wanted that to happen. You have to believe that before you, I really wasn’t seeing what was worth going after. I would go out after games with the guys, and on occasion, some of the girls took advantage and hooked up with us. The night I was with Avery was the one and only night that went to that level, and that was my fault entirely. Had I not drunk as much as I did, none of the last few weeks would have happened. Can you forgive me for this?”

I can’t allow him to think he’s completely at fault here. Swallowing back the lump in my throat, I respond, “Jeremy, I understand how it happened, but I can’t condone how I reacted the rest of the night. I didn’t want to think I was as insignificant as the next. The past few weeks needed to happen for us. I needed the time apart to figure out where my true feelings stood and sort out a lot of other things in my head.”

“And did you?” he asks, clearing his throat.

I nod my head silently against his chest before pulling away to look into his brown eyes. “If it wasn’t for your mom, I might not have understood everything going on in my head, but I managed to separate the good and the bad. I know what I need now and where I need to get to in my life. You. Jeremy, you were never a question in my head. You had my heart before I left. It was the family drama and skating that needed to get sorted out. I love you for who you are and what you made me see. Can you forgive me?”

Staring into my eyes, he reaches for my face and brings his head down to mine. “Babe, I missed you so damn much it hurt not knowing how you felt and what you were going through. Mom just kept telling me to focus on my own life and to let you figure out things. I can’t take back the last few weeks, but I can make the future better. I promise. I love you, and I’ll spend forever showing you how much better it can be for us.”

Tears pool in my eyes again as I rub my thumb over his stitches just above his eye before asking the big questions, “So, does this mean we’re okay? We’re still together?”

“Was there ever any doubt? You’ve had me all along, Emily, unless, of course, you’re still having an affair with that actor?” he playfully hints, but his eyes tell me he may actually think the story is true.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t have seen that. Really, it wasn’t anything. I turned around too quickly and bumped into him. The cameras caught it at just the right angle to make it look like we were embracing. Do you believe me?”

“So, I don’t have to use any of my hockey fighting moves to get him to back off? Damn! I was so hoping to have to fight for you.” He winks at me. “Well, then I guess there’s only one other way to make sure you don’t run off again, but it’s going to involve less clothes than you have on right now,” he suggests as his lips hover just above my neck. My breathing grows rapid because I need him just as much.

Breathlessly, I mouth his name before standing up, grabbing his hand and guiding him back to my bed. “Make love to me again, Jeremy.”

I slowly remove my tank top and pajama bottoms. He reaches to pull me close to him, and I make quick work of removing his hoodie and the T-shirt underneath. Then, his lips fall on mine as if the past three weeks never happened. After he pulls back suddenly, I wonder if he’s having second thoughts as my hands hover over his belt straps.

“Emily, before we do this, I need to tell you something. While I was on the road, I went to the team doctor and had him run an STD test. The results came back last week, and I’m clean. I didn’t want you worrying.” Before he can say anything more, I pull him on top of me and watch him make quick work of his pants and boxers. He slowly rolls me on top of him as he kisses me passionately; our tongues join together in a battle. Jeremy grazes my legs and ass with the tips of his fingers as chills of anticipation spread across my body. Feeling his hardness growing under my stomach, I reach down between us to begin stroking him. Throwing his head back, a groan escapes his lips. “Oh my God, Em. I missed you so much. That feels so good.”

Knowing I’m entering a whole new territory, I start placing kisses along his pecks and begin slowly making my way south. As I linger just above his trimmed happy trail, he smirks as if he’s asking what I’m planning on doing.
Lie back and relax because I’m taking control right now.
Sitting back on my calves in between his legs, I lower my head to the tip of his cock, still stroking it slowly. I open my mouth and let my tongue circle the tip before sliding all the way down his length to the base of his shaft.

I watch as his chest rises and falls quickly, and his eyes never leave mine. He says nothing, so I assume I must be doing this right and begin massaging his balls in my other hand. I slowly slide my mouth up his length, wrapping my lips around his tip and tasting the warm smooth fluid already flowing from his cock. Continuing my torturous motions, I slip the tip of my tongue between the entrance of his cock before sliding my hollowed mouth down until he’s hitting the back of my throat. Jeremy’s hips thrust up as his hand finds its way to the back of my head. Pushing down just slightly until I’m almost gagging and tears prickle my eyes, I look up at him as he watches me go down on him and becomes completely at my mercy. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before, knowing I’m the one making him feel his pleasure.

Then, as much as I don’t want to go there, the mental image of Avery in this same position flashes across my mind. I stop all movement along his cock, and Jeremy notices my mood change. “Don’t think about whatever is going through your mind. We’re here now, and you’re my future. Good?” Nodding in understanding, I remove my mouth from his cock and move to straddle him.

Knowing his favorite sexual position from
Twenty Questions
comes in handy when I have control in bed. Hovering my already slick entrance above his cock, I slide my folds along his length, arousing my own pleasure points in the process. Moans escape me before I lean behind me to pull his cock up to my entrance, looking into his eyes as if silently asking for help on what to do. Jeremy moves his hand over mine on his shaft assisting silently, never breaking eye contact and gliding himself in slowly as I lower myself until he’s all the way inside me. He’s already placed right at the point, where with just the slightest angle movement, I’ll be spiraling out of control. It’s been too long for the both of us, and I’m not sure I can ever do without this physical connection ever again.

Resting my hands on his stomach, I look into his eyes while his hands grab onto my waist, moving me just enough to make me feel him inside me even more. I throw my head back in pleasure, letting my nails dig into his skin lightly.

“Emily, I need to feel you come around me. I’ve missed the feeling of being inside you.” His hand slides over and starts massaging the wetness between my legs over my pulsing bud. My mind races, and I try to move my body with his as he tenderly strokes me. I begin to tremble above him, and I know my release is close. Looking down into his eyes, I see his emotions pouring out of him. “Come on, baby. Come. If you don’t, I’ll be forced to take back control and show you what I’m capable of making you feel.”
Holy Shit!
Moving my hips faster along his cock, my breath shortens right before I feel him thrust his hips up to hit the spot, sending my orgasm out of control. I can’t move anymore; I just feel the pulsing and throbbing between my legs and around his cock. He moves his hips up even more, and I’m screaming his name before he pulls me close and rolls me on my back, staring down at me while he wraps my legs around his waist.

“Hold on, babe. I’m not going to be gentle.” His pace speeds up as he rises slightly, and I watch as his cock slides in and out before he’s stilled and groaning through clenched teeth. “Holy fuck. Oh. My. God. Emily.” Before I know what’s happening, with one last hard thrust, he sends another wave of pleasure through me, and I’m clutching the sheets at my side, screaming his name.