Fun With Rick and Jade (13 page)

“How’s your hand?” Jade felt bad about his heroic defense of her honor, but being a grown man, he should have known better than to resort to violence. And yet, she smiled from her toes to her cranium thinking about his misguided gallantry.

He flexed his swollen fingers. “I’ll live.”

Someone started off the festivities with the song “Afternoon Delight,” to a round of applause and hissing. Jade remained neutral on the song stylings. Rick rested his elbow on the table and his head in his hand. He groaned. Not his scene, she guessed. Jade pictured him in a sports bar on game day, or at home with a beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other. Dave and Trudy followed the one-hit-wonder song with “I’ve Had The Time of My Life.”

Rick looked up with mild interest. “They’re not bad.”

She laid her hand on his arm. “What’s bothering you, Rick?” Stupid question, she realized. But maybe it wasn’t the obvious. Perhaps he had irritable-bowel syndrome or a death in the family she didn’t know about.

“What’s not bothering me? I feel guilty about all the lies. I punched out a city councilman. Trudy tried to kiss me this morning.” He turned his attention to her. “And I hate karaoke with unequaled passion.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Haven’t you had a busy day?” And she thought she’d had the most interesting day. If she could squeeze in smacking Trudy for making a pass at her husband before midnight, she’d hold the title of most interesting week.

“Aren’t you at all jealous?” he asked, nearly pleading for her affection. A scrap. She knew better than to feed a stray. Leading him on would be cruel. Through no fault of his own, they had no future at all.

“Of Trudy?” Her attention darted to the couple on the stage, singing what had to be their signature song. They had synchronized choreography. Really lame choreography. Yes, she felt a twinge of jealousy. “No. Sorry. Not really. I’m sure you misinterpreted her actions.”

“Do you have any feelings for me at all, Jade?”

She leaned in to whisper her heated words on his face. “Despite what you may think, Rick, I do have feelings.”

“For me?” His dark eyes pierced hers. “It’s not a hard question.”

He had no idea how hard of a question it was. Time and distance would eventually cure her attraction. Admitting her infatuation now would most likely require more time and a longer distance in the future.

“Why did you take your wedding band off this afternoon?”

His question came out of left field and took her completely by surprise. “What?”

Trudy bounced over and clutched Jade’s arm. “I signed us up to sing next.”

“Oh goodie.” Jade faked a smile.

She dragged her gaze, followed by her body, away from his icy stare. She ignored him completely while she and Trudy sang a karaoke staple: “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” They invited the other ladies in the audience to join them for the empowering chorus.

Jade did notice Dave standing near the table, smiling. He patted Rick on the back and he laughed, too. Whether it was for Dave’s benefit or whether he truly found her complete humiliation amusing, she didn’t know. After a girls-only trip to the restroom, they followed up their first number with “It’s Raining Men.” A crowd favorite.

The other three had the advantage of alcohol to induce fun. Jade relied entirely on her precarious postpartum hormones to guide her mood. Not a cocktail of success. Trudy insisted she sing “Holdin’ Out For a Hero” with her, and then Dave begged her to sing a duet with him since Rick refused to do much besides drink.

At least on that, he was doing a bang-up job.

Rick took a marathon four-beer piss in the urinal, flanked on one side by a guy wearing a business suit, on the other side a transvestite in heels. On his way back to the table he bumped into Trudy in the narrow hallway outside the bathrooms. “Excuse me,” he mumbled, concentrating on his shoes, the floor, and then an empty beer bottle someone had used as an ashtray.

She swayed unsteadily, making it impossible for him to squeeze by without touching her. “Please forgive me for this morning, Rick. I can explain.”

He picked a spot on the wall to stare at. “Let’s forget it ever happened.”

“You won’t tell Dave?”

What part of let’s forget it ever happened do you not understand?
“It never happened.” If it had never happened, why had he told Jade? For no other reason than to pull some jealousy from the deepest part of her icy soul. He wanted her to know other women wanted him. Even if that other woman was Trudy. “Can I please get by?” He didn’t need her husband detecting any hint of impropriety.

She flattened herself against the wall so he could pass. He felt rotten about making her feel rotten, but he’d had a
rotten
damn day. Comforting her with some kind words and a hug would send the wrong message.

Back at the table, Dave patted him on the back, leaned in, and told him what a great time they were having. Apparently he hadn’t noticed Rick’s sour mood or general disdain of karaoke.

Jade took the stage amidst catcalls, whistles, and clapping. She looked amazing. Sexy. Her singing and hamming it up brightened his disposition, almost making him forget the previous twelve or so hours. She’d wink and shimmy, flirting with the patrons by dancing sexy one minute, transitioning into clowning around the next. Probably so no one would mistake her performance for anything more than fun and games. Some of these people, the Honeycutts included, took their singing way too seriously.

She sang “Bad Influence” directly to him, like a warning about her potential toxicity, going so far as to point her finger at him. Dave laughed at her antics, loving it. He commented how Rick had himself quite a girl there.
Tell me something I don’t know
. What Rick wanted from her, he didn’t know. Something. When he figured it out, he’d let her know. She’d probably suggest he go fuck himself.

He was having a serious problem separating logic and reason from attraction and sentiment.

The foursome laughed all the way home. Dave and Trudy were pretty plastered, stumbling and snickering up the stairs to bed. Even Jade’s friend Goldie found the scenario amusing. Jade hugged her friend good-bye and he wondered if they’d ever “worked” together, which was one of the reasons a relationship wouldn’t last between him and Jade. He found himself questioning every face in the karaoke bar she’d obviously frequented in the past.
Did he fuck my wife? Does he want to fuck my wife?
And he couldn’t even rule out other women.
Did she fuck my wife? Does she want to fuck my wife?
He groaned. In the absence of facts, his imagination ran wild.

Life with Jade would leave his knuckles perpetually scabbed and bruised from never-ending fisticuffs. And Rick was not a fighter.

He checked his e-mail in Bob’s office, quickly taking care of some urgent correspondence. Or maybe he was avoiding a confrontation with Jade. He locked up the house and turned off the lights before climbing the stairs. All was quiet inside the guest room when he stopped to listen. Wouldn’t surprise him if Dave and Trudy were passed out. They were lightweights when it came to drinking. Next stop, Coral.

He wrapped his fingers around the rail of the crib and hated the thought that Ewan McShane had fathered her. He doubted he’d be thrilled about any man being her father.
Any man but me
. He decided he needed to voluntarily check himself into a mental health facility, because he’d seriously lost his mind.

Coral was living, breathing evidence that some other guy had crawled inside Jade and made her squeal in pleasure like he had. Like he wanted to again, if she’d let him. Chances were not good, after the way he’d acted all day and into the night. He sighed, pondering how he could make things right between him and Jade.

The bedroom was empty. No Jade. The diaphanous curtains billowed where the French doors to the deck were open to the backyard. Rick stripped down to his boxer shorts. He fished a condom out of his wallet and tucked it into the elastic of his waistband. As he stepped outside, the warm night breeze washed over him. He spotted Jade in the water, crossing the length of the pool in a lazy backstroke.

He should hit the sheets and let time heal all wounds. Avoid Jade. Pretend to be asleep when she came to bed. Instead he rambled down the steps and walked out onto the diving board where he took a seat, letting his legs dangle above the water. Jade turned and swam toward him in a frog-like paddle. She looped her fingers around his ankles and he had his answer. She wasn’t terribly angry with him, otherwise she’d either A. ignore him or B. pull him from his perch into the water.

“You drunk?”

“Not too bad.” He had a nice buzz going. “Baby’s sleeping like a baby.” He waggled his eyebrows at her teasingly.

Jade smiled. “I know.” She pointed toward the baby monitor sitting poolside. “I checked on her.”

Of course she did
. If nothing else, she was a fantastic mother.
If nothing else
. He scoffed to himself. She’d been a great hostess, great fake wife, and he imagined she’d been the best call girl ever. He held up a condom, slapping it playfully against his hand.
Testing the waters
.

Rick was not in a hurry for this part of the lie to end.

Jade released his ankles and paddled away. Slowly, she climbed the pool steps. Rick pivoted and turned around, straddling the diving board, his back to the large expanse of the pool. He expected her to keep on walking, not even look in his direction to give him a second thought. At least he’d enjoy the view. But she didn’t keep walking. Not away, anyhow.

Jade met him halfway, taking a seat facing him on the diving board. “The sky is so light tonight.” She looked off toward the horizon.

“It’s the lights of the city reflecting off the cloud cover,” he said, also looking out into the distance, same as her.

“That’s romantic,” she said flatly.

“That’s science. Science can be romantic.” Science, history, even math was romantic. Nothing existed outside of math and science. He doubted she’d agree.

She planted her hands flat on the diving board and inclined closer. “Is science sexy?”

“Science? Sexy?” He didn’t know she was hunting for some sexy romance.
Good to know
. “I know a little bit about a lot of stuff and can’t seem to stop myself from talking when I should be—”

“Fucking.” She leaned in and kissed him. “Mmm.” Breaking away, she licked her lips. “Beer. I miss beer.” Glancing toward the guest room window, she asked, “What about Dave and Trudy?”

“Apparently they like beer, too.”

“But are they asleep?”

The window was dark, like the rest of the windows. Only the dim solar pool lights were on. “I’d bet my last dollar they’re both passed out cold.”

She pushed him lightly. Rick took her hint and reclined onto the diving board, grabbing the end over his head. She leaned over his body, planting kisses on his chest and stomach. He was already hard; seeing her swimming had gotten him halfway there. Her first kiss took him the rest of the way.

Her hands stroked up the length of his chest. What they should be doing was talking strategy. Many lies had been told. He guessed many more were yet to come. She slid her fingers inside the elastic of his shorts, and he inhaled a quick breath.

“Wanna play a game?” she asked.

“Warning. I did not whack off earlier today.”
Beware the premature ejaculation
.

She pulled at his shorts, exposing his dick laid out erect against his abdomen. She ran her tongue slowly along the length. Rick gripped the board tighter. Wet tendrils of her hair swept along his thighs, tickling him.

“Whoever hits the water first—loses,” she said.

He held a precious breath too long in his lungs. “You’re on.”

Her tongue swirled around the head of his dick. “Have I told you how much I love your cock?”

“I’m pretty fond of it, too.” How many men had she said that same line to? Thinking about the answer tightened his chest like a fist squeezing his heart. He needed to get back to the fantasy and forget reality. “What is it in particular you love about it?” He wouldn’t mind knowing.

She traced a meandering trail along his shaft with the smooth side of her pretty, new nails. Her mouth followed. “The length.” Jade wrapped her fingers around the base. “The width.” Sliding her lips against the head, she added, “The size in general. Not too big. Not too small.” His dick disappeared into her mouth, and he moaned. “The taste,” she said, once she was able.

His length and width vanished between her lips again. “Hot damn,” he mumbled.

“The best thing about your cock—it is real user-friendly.” She swallowed him again.

“Huh?”

She squeezed and rubbed at his cock while circling her tongue around the head. “Mmm. You get hard fast, stay hard long, and hopefully don’t need too much recovery time, because tonight you’re going to come in my mouth and again in my pussy.”

“O-okay.”
You don’t hear that every day
. “I only have the one condom.” He wasn’t even sure if they needed two for something like that. Common sense told him yes. Sexual experience failed him on the matter. But they’d been nothing if not reckless since their wedding night. He’d been in a long-term monogamous relationship prior to this—he swallowed a lump in his throat—prior to this marriage of theirs.

She reached into her bathing suit top and produced another condom, telling him she’d been thinking the same thing he had. Sex. She held on to the edge of the wrapper with her teeth and pulled his shorts off. Rick teetered, struggling to keep his balance. And like she had a couple nights before, she suited him up with her mouth, which was the coolest thing he’d ever seen live or on the Playboy Channel. It would never get old.

She went to town licking, sucking, and rubbing his rod. But clearly, his wife didn’t swallow and somehow that comforted him. If she wouldn’t swallow his cum, she probably wouldn’t swallow anyone else’s. Unless the price was right. He shook that thought from his head.