Futures and Frosting

Read Futures and Frosting Online

Authors: Tara Sivec

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Suspense, #Contemporary

 

 

 

Copyright ©
September 2012 Tara Sivec

 

ISBN-13:
 
978-1478314608

ISBN – 10: 
1478314605

 

All rights reserved. 
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any
means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any
information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the
author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.  The
characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious.  Any similarity to
real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

 

 

 

License Notice

This book is licensed
for your personal enjoyment only.  This book may not be resold or given away to
other people.  If you wish to share this book with another person, please
purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with.  Thank you for
respecting the hard work of this author.

 

 

 

Disclaimer

This is a work of
adult fiction.  The author does not endorse or condone any of the behavior
enclosed within.  The subject matter is not appropriate for minors.  Please
note this novel contains profanity, explicit sexual situations, alcohol and
drug consumption.

 
 
 
 
For my husband.  Thanks for always reading what I write and
for not giving me a hard time when I demand that you tell me if it’s shit or
not.  Thanks for not telling me anything I make you read is shit.  Thanks for
giving me your honest opinion on yeast infections and not throwing up on me.

 

For Buffy – my sister
from another mister and my honest-to-God soul mate.  “Slut – did you mean to
say Buffy?”  Someday we will live in the same state and the world will explode
from awesomeness.  Fact

 

For my family.  You
are all bat shit crazy but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Thank you for tee
time, ceiling fan baseball and “can you smell that?”  Without you, my life
would be extremely boring.

 

 

 

 

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

1.  Green Jell-O and Snapping
Turtles

2.  My Dog Has the Hungry

3.  He Went to Jared

4.  He Loves Me, He Loves
Me Not

5.  Suck for a Buck

6.  Back Door Action

7.  Whore Dizzle

8.  The Incredible
Shrinking Penis

9. No Nut Shots Before
Lunch

10.  Ceiling Fan Baseball

11.  Mommy!

12. Stinky Wiener Ticks
and Twice Baked Potatoes

13.  Tee Time

14.  Porn and Snozzberries

15.  Just Say No to
Necrophilia

16. Son of a Face Turd

17.  Midget and Donkey
Shows

18.  Benjamin’s Balls

19.  Oops, I Did it Again!

20.  Did Not Finish

21.  I Swallowed a Penny!

22.  Hump, Hump, Hump

23.  Scittly Scat-Scat

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

 

There are so many amazing people I need to thank that I
could probably fill up an entire book with just their names.

 

First and foremost – my amazing editor Max.  You are the
wind beneath my skirt and I love you!  Thank you for all of your help and
support.  I will hump your leg for days when we’re in the same room together.

 

Colleen Hoover.  I can never thank you enough for the
support you have given me.  You never hesitate to answer my gazillion questions
and you give me hope that someday I will be as awesome as you!  I’m so happy
for you and all of your success!

 

Sarah Hansen – you are the twin I never knew I had.  Thank
you for always supporting me, making me laugh and putting up with my husband’s
Facebook posts.  Jason Voorhies is still a pussy.

 

Mollie Harper – I adore you!  And not just for the Floppy
Vag song or the amazing “Pay it Forward” movement.  Okay, those might be the
main reasons, I’m not gonna lie.  You are amazing and sweet and you put a smile
on my face constantly.

 

To my Slappers – You were my first supporters and fans in
this crazy endeavor and I will be forever grateful that I met all of you.  I
love you from the bottom of my heart.

 

To all the hookers at Bookaholics Anonymous and Book Broads
– I love you.  Each and every one of you.  I’m so glad I “met” you.  You are
amazing and your support is never-ending.  Thank you so much for all of the
“Pay-it-Forwards”, pimping and just general awesomeness.

 

To all of the other Indie authors out there – I am proud and
humbled to be in the same circle as you.  I hope everyone realizes just how
hard you work on a daily basis to make your dreams come true.

 

And last but not least, thank you SO much to the following
blogs who reviewed/featured my book(s) on their pages.  If I skipped someone,
I’m so sorry.  It’s all Google’s fault.

Aestas Book Blog, Anna’s Attic, Ashley’s Book Nook, Book
Liaison, Book-Snobs, Coffee, Books and Lipgloss, Confessions of Novel Junkies,
Cursed Pyramids, Fiction Vixen, Globug & Hootie Need a Book, Hot Coffee
Books and Chocobar, Lisa’s Book Review, Lisa’s Reads, Love Affair With An
E-Reader, Madison says, Mama Laughlin, Maryse’s Book Blog, Momma’s Books,
Natasha is a Book Junkie, Romance Book Reviews Blog, Romantic Book Affairs,
Romantic Reading Escapes, Scandalicious Book Reviews, Selena-Lost-in-Thought,
She Can’t Shut Up, Sim-Sational-Books, Talk Supe, Tara’s Reads, Teahoney’s Book
Café, The Autumn Review, The Book List Reviews, The Indie Bookshelf, The
Romance Reviews, Totally Booked, Tough Critic Book Reviews, Under the Covers, Unraveling
Aira, Up all Night Reviews, What to Read After Fifty (50) Shades of Grey
Facebook page.

 
Futures and Frosting
 
Tara Sivec

 

1.  Green Jell-O and
Snapping Turtles

 

I have a dream.

And in this
dream I’m under the covers in bed, just a few scant inches away from Carter’s
body.  I stare at his prone form lying next to me, the greenish-blue glow from
the alarm clock on the bedside table providing just enough illumination for me
to see the shallow rise and fall of his chest.  The sheet is draped low over
his hips as he sleeps peacefully with one arm flung over his eyes and the other
resting on his taut, naked stomach.  I slide my body ever so slowly across the
bed, careful not to disturb him, until I’m so close I can feel the heat from
his skin warming me from head to toe.  I pull my arms out from under the sheet
and my hands reach out towards him.  I connect with his smooth, muscular chest,
slide my fingers up his body, and...choke the ever living shit out of him.

Okay, that’s not
really a dream.  It’s more of a wish if you will, something I fantasize about
when business is slow at the shop, when I’m waiting in line at the grocery
store, or pretty much every waking moment of every single day when I find
myself yawning and cranky from lack of sleep.  But it’s not like I would ever
follow through with this fantasy.  I love Carter. I really do.  Sometimes it’s
just a toss-up on whether or not I love sleep more.

A few months
ago, I hadn't even known Carter existed.  Okay, I knew he existed; somewhere
out there, over the rainbow, in a land far, far away living his own life.  I
never believed in a million years that he would ever stop and give me, his
one-night-stand from college, a second thought.  Turns out I was wrong on both
counts.  A land far, far away had turned out to be a few miles from where I
lived and that second thought I figured he had never given?  Well, much to my
dismay, and using a Harlequin Romance novel cliché, he had spent years pining
for me and searching the world for
'the one that got away
'.

That's me by the
way, in case you haven’t been paying attention.

Here I am, a
twenty-four-year-old single mother to Gavin (the wonderful parting gift I
received in appreciation of my mad virginity-giving-up skillz, ‘yo) when
suddenly, the guy I spontaneously gave said virginity to after a rousing game
of beer pong at a frat party shows up in my home town to whisk me off my feet
and claim the son he never knew he had.  This doesn’t happen in real life. 
Something this perfect only happens in books or John Hughes movies.

Alright, so
Carter has never stood outside my window holding a radio above his head and
he's never run down the street to sweep me up into his arms for a toe-curling
kiss and hand me a pair of diamond earrings he gave to some other skank just
moments before.  Our story isn't necessarily a textbook eighties movie. There
have been anxiety attacks, freak-outs, drunken ramblings, inappropriate
cursing, misunderstandings, arguments, two-finger eye-threats, and chocolate
covered sex in a public place that only by the hair of a gnat’s testicle
avoided being publicly televised.  Through it all though, Carter and I have
managed to work through our problems with the speed an accuracy of a
thirty-minute sitcom on prime time television.  It’s no “
Some Kind of
Wonderful,
” but it’s damn near close.  I’m still waiting for my street kiss
and diamond earrings, though.

In the middle of
all this chaos, I am also busy following my dream of opening my own candy and
cookie shop.  I know right?  Why not add one more thing to worry about to my
growing pile.  There’s a reason why I have a magnet on my fridge that says,
“You can sleep when you’re dead.” 

My best friend
Liz and I had always talked of one day owning businesses together.  While I was
busy with the whole single mom gig and put my aspirations on a back burner, Liz
was finishing up college and got a head start on her dream.  Little did I know,
she had also made plans to assure that my hopes didn’t die along with my
ability to sneeze and not piss myself.

I’ve always been
a pretty independent person, so having someone hand me my dream in a neat
little package with a bow on top took some getting used to.  Liz had inherited
a good chunk of change from her grandfather when he passed away years earlier
and putting that money to good use by purchasing a building where we could have
adjoining businesses was the only option for her.  It had taken me a few days
to get my head out of my ass and realize that she didn’t do it out of pity. 
She had done it because she loves me and having her dream come true wouldn’t
have meant nearly as much to her if mine wasn’t becoming a reality right along
with her.

So in summary, I
am EXHAUSTED.  And I guess that brings us back to my choking fantasy.  Living
with another human being takes a little getting used to.  So far there are only
minimal amounts of irritating qualities we find in each other, and we’ve
overcome those obstacles and are still growing strong.  I love Carter more than
I ever thought possible, and he has proven to be the best father a woman could
ever want for her son.  But I swear to God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and Christ’s
childhood friend, Biff, that if he doesn’t stop waking me up at
four-fifty-eight in the morning, every fucking morning, with his buzz saw
snoring, I am going to go David Carradine on his ass.

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