Futures and Frosting (7 page)

“Shit.”

I stick my arm
out from under my cocoon and grab the first thing my fingers touch on my
nightstand—a vibrator with a leash on it.  It’s a sad, sad day when something
like this doesn’t faze me.  I whip it across the room and watch the giant pink
rubber penis and its diamond-studded leash crash into the alarm clock and
effectively shut it up.

Small bursts of
memories from last night flash through my addled brain and make me wish I can
have a lobotomy.

Did I sing
“Like a Virgin” at a winery?  And why am I not wearing any underwear?

With my eyes
squeezed shut so the bright rays of sun shining through the window don’t light
them on fire, I stumble out of bed and throw on a pair of yoga pants that are
crumpled on the floor. I slowly make my way out of the bedroom and into the
living room.

“Yo, Claire
Bear!  You’re alive!” Drew shouts from his spot on the couch as I peel my eyes
open and gave him the finger for being so cheerful and not hung-over.

How is that
possible? He drank way more than me.  I think.  And why is he in our living
room?  I’m going to start charging this asshole rent.

I stare at the
annoying smile on Drew’s face and another memory from last night assaults me as
I walk up to the kitchen table and pull out a chair.

“Why do I
remember you peeing somewhere in this house?” I ask with my gravelly voice that
I hope is just from yelling and singing and not from puking somewhere I can’t
recall.

“Did you pee on
this chair?” I ask angrily as my ass hovers above the seat cushion.

“Yes, he peed in
that chair,” Liz answers as she emerges from the laundry room off of the
kitchen.

“Fuck, it’s like
we have a puppy,” I mutter as I move to take a seat at one of the bar stools by
the island instead.

“I didn’t pee
that
bad on it,” Drew complains as he walks into the kitchen and makes a show of
looking really hard at the chair in question.

“There is no
GOOD level of pee on a chair, Drew!” I yell as I take the glass of water and
aspirin Liz had set down on the counter in front of me. I throw the pills in my
mouth and chug the entire glass of water.

I hear the faint
sound of music coming from somewhere and realize my purse is singing the theme
song from “Golden Girls”.  Liz and Drew start cracking up behind me as I reach
to the end of the island and grab my purse, realizing by their snickers that
one of them must have changed my ring tone.

I dig through my
purse trying to find the damn phone before that fucking song is stuck in my
head all day.

“…..traveled
down the road and back again.  Your heart is true; you’re a pal and a
confidant…”

My hand finally
wraps around the offending cell phone and I quickly hit the send button to stop
the song before I even get it out of my purse.

“Hello?” I turn
around to glare at Liz and Drew, mouthing the words
“What the fuck?”
to
them silently as I answer the phone.  That just causes them to laugh even
harder.

“Wow, I didn’t
think you’d be awake yet after last night.”

The sound of
Carter’s voice makes me forget that my so-called friends put some stupid ass
song on my phone that I won’t be able to stop humming now.

“Did we have sex
last night?” I ask, having no shame whatsoever in the fact that I don’t
remember.  Generally, I like to know why I wake up with no pants or underwear
on.  It’s just a little quirk I have.

“Are you
referring to before or after we got home?” he asks.

“Uh, both?”

Carter sighs. “I don’t think you’re
awake or sober enough to discuss the sex we had before we got home. 
After…well, I do believe sex was the general idea until I got your clothes off
and you puked on me.”

“Ooooh, sorry
about that,” I apologize sheepishly.

“It’s my fault.
I should have never introduced you to Drew,” he replies jokingly.

“He peed on our
chair,” I complain, giving Drew the two-finger eye salute.

“You puked on my
dick,” Carter deadpans.

“Fine, you win,”
I say with a sigh.  “So where are you?”

“DUDE!  LET ME
TELL HER ABOUT THE BACK DOOR ACTION ON THE BUS!” Drew yells into the phone as
he comes up next to me.

I turn to look
at Drew with a horrified look on my face.

“What are you
talking about?” I ask him.  “Carter, what the fuck is he talking about?” I
screech into the phone.  “Oh Jesus.  Did I let you…did we…OH MY GOD WE DID THAT
ON A BUS SURROUNDED BY OUR FRIENDS?”

The laughter
comes from all around me now.  Liz bends over so far in hysterics that she’s
fallen on the floor; Drew wipes tears out of his eyes as he leans against the
counter, and Carter was snorting on the other end of the phone.

“No!  No, it’s
not what you’re thinking.  Even though you begged me repeatedly saying, ‘Come
on just stick it in my ass!’ I figured that was not a decision you were making
with one hundred percent clarity.  Tell me you at least remember being in the
bathroom with me,” Carter begs.

I put my elbows
up on the counter and lean my head against one hand, closing my eyes to try and
conjure up the bathroom rendezvous Carter speaks of.

Everyone
piles back on the bus after the third winery, a little louder and a lot
drunker.  Carter slumps onto the leather bench, pulling me down next to him
until I am practically sprawled on top of him with my chest resting against
his.  He holds my face in both of his hands, and as the bus starts moving and
our friends start yelling and goofing off in the front of the vehicle, he leans
in and kissed me.  His tongue slowly pushes past my lips and sweeps through my
mouth causing butterflies to erupt in the pit of my stomach and warmth to
spread between my legs.  After a few minutes he pulls his mouth away from mine,
and I let out a groan at the loss.

“You wanna go
in the bathroom?” Carter asks with a wag of his eyebrows.

“No.  I don’t
have to pee right now,” I tell him as I leaned toward him so I can kiss him
again.  He tastes so yummy, like wine and sunshine and kittens.

“I’m not
talking about going to the bathroom to GO to the bathroom.  I’m talking about
going to the bathroom so I can stick it to you,” he says with a snort and a
laugh.

“You’re so
romantic.  Say it again,” I tell him as I bat my eyelashes at him.

Carter looks
over my shoulder and then back down at me.

“Seriously. 
No one is looking.  We could sneak into the bathroom and no one would even
know.  I’ll make it quick.”

“No really,
keep going.  This is totally turning me on,” I tell him in a monotone voice.

Carter pulls
my face back toward him and our lips crash together.  His tongue skates over my
bottom lip before plunging back into my mouth.  The pain of the week-long
exiles while we work opposite shifts have become glaringly obvious as we
deepened the kiss, and I practically crawl onto his lap.

Carter’s hand
slides down the side of my body, brushing over one breast and curving over my
hip to clutch my ass and pull me closer to him.  He moves his mouth away from
my lips and starts planting warm, wet, open-mouthed kisses along my neck and
collarbone until I feel like I'll melt into a puddle of goo on the floor of the
bus.  He gently grazes the side of my neck with his teeth and slides his tongue
over the spot.  I'm panting like a dog at this point and know I won’t make it
much longer.  If he keeps this up, I'm going to throw him down on the seat and
bang him in front of everyone.

“Okay, fine. 
You win.  Bathroom.  Now,” I mumble through my drunken, lust-induced haze.

We stand up
quickly and stumble our way to the tiny bathroom directly across from us.  I
vaguely hear one of the girls shout, “NO, no, no!  I have to pee!” before we
slam the door closed and fumble with the sliding lock.  The bathroom is about
the size of an airplane bathroom so maneuverability is nil.  Carter’s body is
pressed up against my back and he begins kissing and sucking on the back of my
neck as I try in vain to get the stupid lock to slide closed.

“I can’t get
the fucking door to lock!” I complain through moans of pleasure as he brings
his hands around my waist and slides them up my body until they cup both of my
breasts.

“Fuck it.  I
think it locks automatically anyway.  That slide thing is just for the little
sign on the outside that switches to 'occupied' or some shit.  Everyone already
knows we’re in here,” Carter says as he starts massaging my breasts.

We turn as
one so I can rest my hands on the edge of the sink and Carter can lift my
skirt.  A quick breaking of the bus makes me jerk forward and slam my shoulder
into the wall above the sink.

“Son of a
bitch!” I yell.  “This is going to be dangerous.”

I giggle as
Carter slides his hands back down my sides and grazes over a particularly
ticklish spot.

“You’re not
supposed to be laughing.  This is supposed to be awesome and hot,” he states as
his hands slide down my thighs and then immediately back up, pushing my skirt
up to my hips as he went.

“Oh believe
me, it’s totally hot,” I say with another giggle as the bus takes off and we
fall backwards.  Carter falls on top of the toilet, and I landed on his lap
with an “oooomph”.

“Okay, this
might not have been one of our best ideas,” I say with a laugh as I try to get
up but the bus takes a curve and we both crash our shoulders into the wall on
the left right beneath the little bathroom window.

“Dammit!  We
WILL have sex in this thing if it kills us,” Carter states as he pushes me off
of his lap and stands back up behind me.

“Carter, I
think this IS going to kill us.  My dad is going to have to tell his friends
that his daughter died in a limo bus bathroom with her skirt up around her
hips.  That is not okay!”

The bus
straightens and maintains a steady, non-deadly speed and a quick glance out of
the window shows us that we were on a long stretch of highway.

“Are you sure
no one can see us in here?” I ask in a panic as I feel Carter’s hands slide up
the back of my thighs and then pull my underwear down a few inches.

I hear his
zipper open and fabric rustling and before I can think of any other reasons why
this isn’t such a great idea, one of his hands slide around to the front,
between my legs, and his fingers slide through my wetness.  I had been aching
with need for him since he first put his hand on my bare thigh in the car earlier. 
Having him touch me like this, for the first time in a week, makes me throw all
rationale out the window - where I am pretty certain no one could see us.

“No one can
see us,” he whispers against my neck, practically reading my mind as two of his
fingers plunge inside of me, and he slides his smooth, hardness between the
cheeks of my ass.  “The window in here is made of special glass.  When you shut
the door, it hits a trigger so we can see out, but no one can see in.  Jim told
me about it earlier.”

He continues
to slide his fingers in and out of me in a slow, tortuous fashion and like he
wasn’t just talking about the sexual safety features on the bus.

“Holy hell,”
I moan as he pulls his two fingers up to circle my clit.

I think I
hear horns honking and shouts coming from outside but at that point I don’t
really care if we are stopped in a rest area and people are eating popcorn
while staring in the window.

“Fuck, I need
you,” I tell him as I let go of the sink with one hand and reach back to grab
onto his hip and pull him harder against me.  “You should TOTALLY give me
‘nother baby,” I murmur drunkenly.

Carter laughs
as he pulls a condom out of the back pocket of his jeans and rips open the foil
with his teeth.

“I’m pretty
sure you don’t really mean that,” he says as I feel his hands graze my ass
while he sheathes himself.

“Who cares if
I mean it?  The wine and vodka mean it.  And they are ALWAYS serious.  Give me
your seeeeeeed.”

I snort and
blink my eyes a few times to get the room to stop spinning.

Carter places
both of his hands on my hips and I feel the tip of his penis at my opening.  I
let out a loud moan and Carter quickly reaches up and puts his hand over my
mouth with a laugh.

“Not so loud,
baby.  Everyone will hear you.”

I pull
Carter’s hand off of my mouth long enough to spout even more nonsense as he
slowly pushes himself inside me.

“You should
stick it in my ass.”

“I am not
going to stick it in your ass,” Carter says with a muted groan as he moves a
little deeper.

“Come on, you
know you want to stick it in my ass,” I goad him loudly.

His hand
comes back up to cover my mouth and my laughter turns into a pleasure-filled
whimper as he pushes all the way inside me and holds himself still.

“You should
know that as a guy, I am pre-programmed to always want to stick it in your
ass.  I hope tomorrow you will appreciate my self control,” Carter explains as
he slowly starts moving inside me.

“If you knock
on my backdoor right now, I will totally let you in,” I giggle.

Carter stops
again and takes a couple of deep calming breaths.

“Careful back
there, though, there’s a rickety step.  Don’t fall in my backdoor.”

Carter tries
not to laugh as he begins thrusting harder, forcing my hips to bump against the
edge of the sink.  Thoughts of sperm and the porch by my backdoor flow out of
my mind.

 “Fuck, why
did you have to start talking about sticking it in your ass?  I’m not going to
be able to last long,” he complains as he tries to slow down.