Read Galaxy's Edge Magazine: Issue 7: March 2014 Online
Authors: Mike Resnick;C. J. Cherryh;Steve Cameron;Robert Sheckley;Martin L. Shoemaker;Mercedes Lackey;Lou J. Berger;Elizabeth Bear;Brad R. Torgersen;Robert T. Jeschonek;Alexei Panshin;Gregory Benford;Barry Malzberg;Paul Cook;L. Sprague de Camp
Tags: #Darker Matter, #strange horizons, #Speculative Fiction, #Lightspeed, #Asimovs, #Locus, #Clarkesworld, #Analog
And he had his wits. He’d need them.
The problem was to find a way of using his twentieth-century knowledge that would support him without getting him into trouble. You couldn’t, for example, set out to build an automobile. It would take several lifetimes to collect the necessary materials, and several more to learn how to handle them and to worry them into the proper form. Not to mention the question of fuel.
The air was fairly warm, and he thought of leaving his hat and vest in the room. But the door had the simplest kind of ward lock, with a bronze key big enough to be presented by a mayor to a visiting dignitary. Padway was sure he could pick the lock with a knife blade. So he took all his clothes along. He went back to the same restaurant for breakfast. The place had a sign over the counter reading,
“religious arguments not allowed.”
Padway asked the proprietor how to get to the address of Thomasus the Syrian.
The man said: “You follow along Long Street down to the Arch of Constantine, and then New Street to the Julian Basilica, and then you turn left onto Tuscan Street, and—” and so on.
Padway made him repeat it twice. Even so, it took most of the morning to find his objective. His walk took him past the Forum area, full of temples, most of whose columns had been removed for use in the five big and thirty-odd little churches scattered around the city. The temples looked pathetic, like a Park Avenue doorman bereft of his pants.
At the sight of the Ulpian Library, Padway had to suppress an urge to say to hell with his present errand. He loved burrowing into libraries, and he definitely did not love the idea of bearding a strange banker in a strange land with a strange proposition. In fact, the idea scared him silly, but his was the kind of courage that shows itself best when its owner is about to collapse from blue funk. So he grimly kept on toward the Tiber.
***
Thomasus hung out in a shabby two-story building. The Negro at the door—probably a slave—ushered Padway into what he would have called a living room. Presently the banker appeared. Thomasus was a paunchy, bald man with a cataract on his left eye. He gathered his shabby robe about him, sat down, and said: “Well, young man?”
“I”—Padway swallowed and started again—“I’m interested in a loan.”
“How much?”
“I don’t know yet. I want to start a business, and I’ll have to investigate prices and things first.”
“You want to start a new business?
In Rome?
Hm-m-m.
”
Thomasus rubbed his hands together. “What security can you give?”
“None at all.”
“
What?
”
“I said, none at all. You’d just have to take a chance on me.”
“But…but, my dear sir, don’t you know anybody in town?”
“I know a Gothic farmer named Nevitta Gummund’s son. He sent me hither.”
“Oh, yes, Nevitta. I know him slightly. Would he go your note?”
Padway thought. Nevitta, despite his expansive gestures, had impressed him as being pretty close where money was concerned. “No,” he said, “I don’t think he would.”
Thomasus rolled his eyes upward. “Do
You
hear that, God? He comes in here, a barbarian who hardly knows Latin, and admits that he has no security and no guarantors, and still he expects me to lend him money! Did
You
ever hear the like?”
“I think I can make you change your mind,” said Padway.
Thomasus shook his head and made clucking noises. “You certainly have plenty of self-confidence, young man; I admit as much. What did you say your name was?” Padway told him what he had told Nevitta. “All right, what’s your scheme?”
“As you correctly inferred,” said Padway, hoping he was showing the right mixture of dignity and co
r
diality, “I’m a foreigner. I just arrived from a place called America. That’s a long way off, and naturally it has a lot of customs and features different from those of Rome. Now, if you could back me in the man
u
facture of some of our commodities that are not known here—”
“Ai!” yelped Thomasus, throwing up his hands. “Did
You
hear that, God? He doesn’t want me to back him in some well-known business. Oh, no. He wants me to start some newfangled line that nobody ever heard of! I couldn’t think of such a thing, Martinus. What was it you had in mind?”
“Well, we have a drink made from wine, called
brandy, that
ought to go well.”
“No, I couldn’t consider it.
Though I admit that Rome needs manufacturing establishments badly.
When the capital was moved to Ravenna all revenue from Imperial salaries was cut off, which is why the pop
u
lation has shrunk so the last century. The town is badly located, and hasn’t any real reason for being any more. But you can’t get anybody to do anything about it. King Thiudahad spends his time writing Latin verse. Poetry! But no, young man, I couldn’t put money into a wild project for making some weird ba
r
barian drink.”
Padway’s knowledge of sixth-century history was beginning to come back to him. He said: “Speaking of Thiudahad, has Queen Amalaswentha been murdered yet?”
“Why”—Thomasus looked sharply at Padway with his good eye—“yes, she has.” That meant that Ju
s
tinian, the “Roman” emperor of Constantinople, would soon begin his disastrously successful effort to reconquer Italy for the Empire. “But why did you put your question that way?”
Padway asked. “Do—do you mind if I sit down?”
Thomasus said he didn’t. Padway almost collapsed into a chair. His knees were weak. Up to now his adventure had seemed like a complicated and difficult masquerade party. His own question about the murder of Queen Amalaswentha had brought home to him all at once the fearful hazards of life in this world.
Thomasus repeated: “I asked why, young sir, you put your question that way?”
“What way?” asked Padway innocently. He saw where he’d made a slip.
“You asked whether she had been murdered
yet.
That sounds as though you had known ahead of time that she would be killed. Are you a soothsayer?”
There were no flies on Thomasus. Padway remembered Nevitta’s advice to keep his eyes open.
He shrugged.
“Not exactly.
I heard before I came here that there had been trouble between the two Gothic sovereigns, and that Thiudahad would put his co-ruler out of the way if he had a chance. I—uh—just wondered how it came out, that’s all.”
“Yes,” said the Syrian. “It was a shame. She was quite a woman. Good-looking, too, though she was in her forties. They caught her in her bath last summer and held her head under. Personally I think Thiudahad’s wife Gudelinda put the old jelly-fish up to it. He wouldn’t have nerve enough by himself.”
“Maybe she was jealous,” said Padway. “Now, about the manufacture of that barbarian drink, as you call it—”
“What?
You
are a stubborn fellow. It’s absolutely out of the question, though. You have to be careful, doing business here in Rome. It’s not like a growing town. Now, if this were Constantinople—” he sighed. “You can really make money in the East. But I don’t care to live there, with Justinian making life exciting for the heretics, as he calls them. What’s your religion, by the way?”
“What’s yours? Not that it makes any difference to me.”
“Nestorian.”
“Well,” said Padway carefully, “I’m what we call a Congregationalist.” (It was not really true, but he guessed an agnostic would hardly be popular in this theology-mad world.) “That’s the nearest thing we have to Nestorianism in my country. But about the manufacture of brandy—”
“Nothing doing, young man.
Absolutely not.
How much equipment would you need to start?”
“Oh, a big copper kettle and a lot of copper tubing, and a stock of wine for the raw material.
It wouldn’t have to be good wine. And I could get started quicker with a couple of men to help me.”
“I’m afraid it’s too much of a gamble. I’m sorry.”
“Look here, Thomasus, if I show you how you can halve the time it takes you to do your accounts, would you be interested?”
“You mean you’re a mathematical genius or something?”
“No, but I have a system I can teach your clerks.”
Thomasus closed his eyes like some Levantine Buddha. “Well—if you don’t want more than fifty sol
i
di—”
“All business is a gamble, you know.”
“That’s the trouble with it. But—I’ll do it,
if
your accounting system is as good as you say it is.”
“How about interest?” asked
Padway.
“Three per cent.”
Padway was startled. Then he asked.
“Three per cent per what?”
“Per month, of course.”
“Too much.”
“Well, what do you expect?”
“In my country six per cent per year is considered fairly high.”
“You mean you expect
me
to lend you money at that rate?
Ai!
Did
You
hear that, God? Young man, you ought to go live among the wild Saxons, to teach them something about piracy. But I like you, so I’ll make it twenty-five per year.”
“Still too much.
I might consider seven and a half.”
“You’re being ridiculous. I wouldn’t consider less than twenty for a minute.”
“No.
Nine per cent, perhaps.”
“I’m not even interested. Too bad; it would have been nice to do business with you.
Fifteen.”
“That’s out, Thomasus.
Nine and a half.”
“Did
You
hear that, God? He wants me to make him a present of my business! Go away, Martinus. You’re wasting your time here. I couldn’t possibly come down any more.
Twelve and a half.
That’s a
b
solutely the bottom.”
“Ten.”
“Don’t you understand Latin? I said that was the bottom. Good day; I’m glad to have met you.” When Padway got up, the banker sucked his breath through his teeth as though he had been wounded unto death, and rasped: “Eleven.”
“Ten and a half.”
“Would you mind showing your teeth? My word, they are human after all. I thought maybe they were shark’s teeth. Oh, very well. This sentimental generosity of mine will be my ruin yet. And now let’s see that accounting system of yours.”
***
An hour later three chagrined clerks sat in a row and regarded Padway with expressions of, respectively, wonderment, apprehension, and active hatred. Padway had just finished doing a simple piece of long d
i
vision with Arabic numerals at the time when the three clerks, using Roman numerals, had barely gotten started on the interminable trial-and-error process that their system required. Padway translated his answers back into Roman, wrote it out on his tablet, and handed the tablet to Thomasus.
“There you are,” he said. “Have one of the boys check it by multiplying the divisor by the quotient. You might as well call them off their job; they’ll be at it all night.”
The middle-aged clerk, the one with the hostile expression, copied down the figures and began checking grimly. When after a long time he finished, he threw down his stylus. “That man’s a sorcerer of some sort,” he growled. “He does the operations in his head, and puts down all those silly marks just to fool us.”
“Not at all,” said Padway urbanely. “I can teach you to do the same.”
“What?
Me
take lessons from a long-trousered barbarian? I—” he started to say more, but Thomasus cut him off by saying that he’d do as he was told, and no back talk. “Is that so?”
sneered
the man. “I’m a free
Roman citizen, and I’ve been keeping books for twenty years. I guess I know my business. If you want a man to use that heathen system, go buy yourself some cringing Greek slave. I’m through!”
“Now see what you’ve done!” cried Thomasus when the clerk had taken his coat off the peg and marched out. “I shall have to hire another man, and with this labor shortage—”
“That’s all right,” soothed Padway. “These two boys will be able to do all the work of three easily, once they learn American arithmetic. And that isn’t all; we have something called double-entry bookkeeping, which enables you to tell any time how you stand financially, and to catch errors—”
“Do
You
hear that, God? He wants to turn the whole banking business upside down! Please, dear sir, one thing at a time; or you’ll drive us mad! I’ll grant your loan, I’ll help you buy your equipment. Only don’t spring any more of your revolutionary methods just now!” He continued more calmly: “What’s that bracelet I see you looking at from time to time?”
Padway extended his wrist. “It’s a portable sundial, of sorts. We call it a watch.”
“A
vatcha
, hm?
It looks like magic. Are you sure you aren’t a sorcerer after all?” He laughed nervously.