Gavin (A Redemption Romance #3) (10 page)

My entire body moved, pushing her against the wall, wanting, needing leverage, so I could touch her, feel her, explore her, experience everything. Dawn was in my arms; my body was on fire. She was perfect.

Leaving her lips, I kissed her jaw, trailed to her neck and her ear as she shuddered against me.

Her fingers laced in my hair, she pulled my head down, pressing my lips into her, encouraging me.

“Gavin,” she moaned when I found the soft spot just behind her ear.

With one hand, I reached down and lifted her leg around my waist. Automatically, she lifted the other and I pressed my denim covered erection into her soft warmth. I’d craved this woman for longer than I would admit, certainly longer than she’d been legal.

Dawn pressed herself into me, rubbing over me. Realization set in, her breathing had quickened, and with each pass over my hard as fuck dick, she let out a little moan.

Pulling up from her neck, I stared deep into her eyes, moved one hand from her ass to her sweet pussy. I rubbed one finger over the noticeable wet spot on her shorts and up to her clit.

Dawn’s quick intake of air, told me just how much she liked the friction. I found the open leg of her shorts and slipped inside. My fingers ran over her slick heat, and I reveled in the feel of her snug, wet pussy as one digit filled her.

She threw her head back and moaned loudly, pressing her chest into me. I watched her as I pumped her over and over, swiping her tight clit with my thumb. After a few minutes, she flew apart in my arms. I held her as she trembled and gasped with pleasure. It was the best thing I’d ever felt in my life. She was true, honest and absolutely beautiful. Dawn Adams was my every dream come true.

I couldn’t help but think of her eighteenth birthday. If I’d allowed her to seduce me that night, would it have been like this? Would we have been this explosive? I’d have probably gone AWOL and spent the next year in her bed, instead of in the Middle East.

My dick throbbed in my pants, just begging to get out and press into her, I tried to remind myself that I’d come over here to talk to her, to explain what I wanted with our relationship and to clear up the past.

As Dawn came back to herself, he met my eyes. I could see a question brewing in her eyes. I reluctantly pulled my hand from under her shorts and studied her. Unable to resist, I leaned in and kissed her lips. She smiled and it lit up her entire face. She was breathtaking.

“What are you doing here?” She asked after a little while.

“I needed to talk to you.” I smirked, at the ridiculousness of that.

“Then, I guess we should, um, talk?” She asked, motioning toward the sofa.

I took her hand and twined our fingers together. Symbolically, I needed her to feel connected to me, before we talked about the other guy.

“Who’s Tyler?” I asked, needing to get it out.

“What?” She asked, clearly confused by my blunt question.

“Tyler, who is he?” My voice was quiet, almost as if I was afraid to hear the truth, which, I was.

“Tyler Nevins?”

“I don’t know, how many Tylers do you know?”

“Just the one, he’s my best friend.”

I took in a deep, calming breath, relieved, maybe, but still nervous.

“Only friends?”

“Yeah, well, we’ve been close since high school. Why?”

“You’re not dating him?” I had to clarify, had to know the full extent of their relationship.

“Dating him? Um, no, not anymore.”

“Good,” Wait, what? Not anymore, is that what she’d just said? Okay, let that one go; I let that hang in the air for a few minutes, allowing the knowledge that they were just friends to settle over me.

“Why are you asking about Tyler?”

“Is that who you were with last night?” I asked, without answering her. Part of me didn’t want to tell her that Zach had seen her with him twice. I didn’t want her to worry about Zach’s behavior like I was.

“Yes, we had dinner, then went to a pub near his place and Marc joined us.”

“Who the fuck is Marc?” I snarled. This shit was driving me crazy.

“Jesus, Gavin, what’s with the questions?” She snapped back.

“Just answer me.” I tried hard to calm myself, she was picking up on my mood.

“Marc is Tyler’s boyfriend.”

In total relief, I allowed my head to rest back on the couch and I laughed. The weight that had been pressing down on my chest since I’d first heard about her seeing the other guy was gone. I felt lighter, hopeful again.

“That’s good.” I said as the laughter subsided. I reached over and tried to pull her over me, but she put her hands out and resisted me.

“What’s with all the questions, Gavin?” She sounded pissed, I’d better fix this shit.

Deciding it was time to put it all out there, I told her everything. About how Zach had called me, taunting me, that he’d seen her out with him twice, how Luke had seen her in the parking lot, and how it had been eating at me that she was seeing another guy.

I noticed Dawn’s brows rise at the news, she seemed confused about Zach and thought it odd, as I did, that he’d seen her out, but she bristled when I’d told her I was worried about her seeing someone else.

“What’s that about?” I asked, needing her to explain.

“What?”

“I hated the thought of you dating someone, is that so strange for you to believe?”

“Well, yeah. Since we’re not, you know, together.”

“Maybe not, but I want to be. After what just happened,” I said, motioning toward the wall where I’d had her pressed, my fingers up inside her tight, wet pussy.

Dawn’s face pinked and she looked down. Was she embarrassed about what we’d done?

“Hey,” I said, lifting her chin so I could meet her eyes. “There’s no shame in enjoying me touching you.”

She shook her head, but lowered her eyes.

“What is it?” I asked, wondering what was going through her mind.

“We shouldn’t have done that, we, I’m not that kind of girl.”

There was no doubt that she wasn’t, I knew the ones who used sex, who were practiced and seductive, Dawn wasn’t like that. She wasn’t like any of the women I’d known. Part of me wished that she’d still been a virgin, though that was ridiculous, at twenty-six, I was sure she’d slept with a few men. Hating that thought, I focused on her face once more.

“I know that, but I want you, and I think that you want me too. We’ve been friends most of our lives, we’re not strangers.”

She flushed and looked embarrassed, but I didn’t know why.

“We should talk about what happened on your birthday.”

Abruptly, she pulled away and looked toward the front window. Okay, she didn’t want to, but I was pretty sure it was important that we cleared the air.

“Dawn, what I said that night, how it came out, it’s haunted me for years. I wanted you so bad, but I couldn’t, I was about to be deployed and I couldn’t do that to you.”

Her face snapped up and she looked at me in confusion.

“But, you said that you didn’t think of me like that. How could I have misunderstood?”

“No, I said that I couldn’t think of you like that, I meant right then, at that time. Fuck, the timing was all wrong. It wasn’t you, it was the uncertainty of my future. I knew I’d be gone at least a year, it ended up being fourteen months, then I was deployed again and again, I couldn’t do that to you, no matter how much I wanted to.”

Dawn took a deep breath and seemed to calm, her embarrassment and confusion cleared and I could tell that she was trying to think back and recall the events of that time.

“I tried to talk to you after, but I couldn’t find you, I wanted to explain things, but it wasn’t fair for me to ask you to wait for me, not then.”

“I went to Tyler’s; I was either working or hiding out at his house those two weeks before you left.” She admitted, seemingly saddened by her choice to flee.

I understood it though, now, seeing things more clearly, from her perspective, I could understand why she’d done it. Regret swamped me, talking to her now just confirmed that I should have called or written after I’d left. We couldn’t have been a couple, but we might not have lost those eight years.

“I should have done more to find you. It was so fucked up over there, it was hard, but I should have written or something, I should have explained. I hate that you’ve thought that I didn’t want you all these years. I hate that we’ve lost so much of our friendship, so much fucking time.”

“Me too,” she replied quietly. “What do you want now?” She asked, finding her courage and strength once again.

A smile crossed my face and I almost laughed when I answered; “I want you, I want to see what we could have now.”

“Okay,” she said, simply.

Pulling her to me, I covered her mouth with mine, our kiss was passionate and somehow familiar. I didn’t push her for more, not yet, but I had to fight myself. I’d take this slow, no way would I let her feel ashamed of what we did together, I didn’t want her feeling shame or embarrassment ever again.

We stayed like that on the couch for another hour, holding each other, kissing and talking. She told me about working and going to the local community college after high school, how she’d taken a little longer to transfer to Austin, because she was paying her own way. I was immensely proud of her, of her accomplishments.

She explained about her friendship with Tyler, how she’d moved to L.A. after college and about the dream job she’d landed, which turned into a nightmare. It all made sense, why they’d lived together, and even how she’d ended up back here.

I told her a little about the Marine Corps, about Trent, who she’d met when we were younger, and about becoming close to the other guys. We talked a little about Nolan and Dylan and some other friends I’d lost over there.

It was almost two in the morning when she nodded off in my arms. I kissed the top of her head, lifted her and carried her to her bedroom. Not taking the time to look around, I forced myself to lay her in the soft, rumpled bed and leave. I found a key hook with a spare key on it, so I was comfortable leaving her with a tightly locked up house.

Every part of me wanted to stay, I craved her, but I knew that she wasn’t ready for that yet. It was new for me, to resist a woman, but for Dawn, I would do it. This wasn’t just sex for me, and I would prove that to her.

As I stepped out of her house, I heard the rumble of Harley pipes rev down near the trail. I hadn’t noticed a bike at any of those houses, though most people kept them in the garage. Pausing after locking up, I watched as a lone rider moved slowly down the deserted street. As he passed by Dawn’s house, he seemed to slow even more and I could have sworn that he turned and looked right at me as he passed by.

It was dark, but as he rode away, I tried to catch sight of the back of his cut in the light from a street lamp. We had quite a few MC’s in the area, some were social clubs, riders having fun and player biker, then there were the serious outlaws, the ones no one would want to fuck with, and we had every kind of club in between. I couldn’t read the patches, but I’d gotten a decent look at the images, so I had an idea which club this guy was from. It wasn’t the worst one out there, but it sure as hell wasn’t the best either. I didn’t want to, but I figured I’d better talk to Dawn about this guy and see if she knew who he was.

Dawn

The weeks following my late night conversation with Gavin, we talked every day and saw each other as much as we could. There had been a few times that he took phone calls or exchanged texts while he was with me and that still concerned me. Regardless of that though, I felt like our relationship was moving in the right direction. If ninety percent of something is wonderful, do you really cut it out of your life, knowing how hard it was to do that before, if only ten percent is possibly bad? I’d say no, at least, not yet.

Gavin: On my way

Dawn
:
Can’t wait, see you soon.

Gavin: I can’t wait to taste…

I stood in the middle of the kitchen, staring down at my phone, waiting for what he’d say next. Gavin had become quite flirty with me in the past few days. He was making it pretty obvious that he wanted to move our physical relationship along, though I didn’t feel pressured – exactly.

Gavin: What did you make for dinner?

Dawn: Taco Bell, your favorite.

Gavin: Not funny!

Dawn: hehehehehe

Gavin: Be there in 20

Dawn: K

Gavin hated, like, seriously hated Taco Bell. I never really understood his violent aversion to the best fast food burritos in the world, but he’d hated it forever. He wouldn’t even stop there for a drink, if that was the absolute only place to stop in a twenty-mile radius. Dramatic, yes, but sometimes, Gavin could be. You couldn’t call him a drama king, not like Marc, he didn’t pitch a fit or act like an idiot, but if he was dead set against something, he wouldn’t do it, no matter what. Also, if he thought someone else was about to do the wrong thing, something dangerous, not just eating at Taco Bell, he’d fight them, even if he shouldn’t. Gavin’s ideals, his belief in what was right and wrong was strict and he didn’t play with that. His convictions were his, maybe they didn’t always jive with actual laws and the protocols of his job, but they were his. I’d always respected him for that.

When he’d been in high school, he and his football coach had serious issues, because the coach wanted to play a guy who’d been hurt and Gavin knew the kid wasn’t fully healed. He and the other player had been pissed, because in all of his sixteen-year-old wisdom, the kid just wanted to play, but as soon as he got onto the field again and was hit, full force, he was fucked. His shoulder had been damaged even more, causing him to be out for the rest of the season, not just another week. Coach was angry and probably embarrassed, so he didn't say anything to Gavin about it, but I’d heard that he’d gone to the kid’s house and apologized to him and to his parents.

Gavin and I had not talked about dating exclusively, so I had no right to assume that he wasn’t seeing anyone else, though, that thought knotted my stomach. He hadn’t blown me off again, though, and I felt better about our relationship now than I had a few weeks ago. Each time I saw him, we kissed, held hands and were affectionate, he seemed to always be touching me in some way, but he hadn’t pushed for more. Honestly, it was a relief; until we were in an exclusive relationship, I wasn’t comfortable doing anything else.

Since I didn’t feel like I had the right, I hadn’t asked him about any of it, but allowed myself to enjoy the new kind of friendship we shared. I had no idea where things would lead, but at that point, I was happy and secure enough.

I had only been in two serious relationships, both in college and those had been the only guys I’d ever slept with. The first guy had reminded me of Gavin, he was tall, rugged and handsome. The sad thing was, he knew it. We’d dated for almost a year; he’d been my first but I’d made him wait almost six months. When I was ready to move to Austin, we ended the relationship, neither of us were interested in trying the long distance thing. It had been amicable; we’d even stayed in touch for a few months.

The second relationship was with someone completely different. He was sweet, closer to my height and very smart. He’d been in a few of my business and marketing classes, which was how we’d met. We dated for just under two years, until I found out that he was sleeping with my roommate. I’d caught them, in my bed one day when I came back early. My class had been cancelled and there they were, fucking in my bed. I’d never understood that, why wouldn’t they go to her bed?

To save on money, I’d stayed in the dorms, which wasn’t ideal, but had made the most sense for me. Hailey had pretended to be a friend, though we’d never been close. Apparently, she’d had a thing for her friends’ men.

Fortunately, I’d found all this out three weeks before graduation and my move to California. It had actually solidified my decision to go. The funny thing was, I hadn’t been upset, not really. Apparently, I hadn’t cared about him that much. The only concern I’d had was catching something from him, but we’d always used condoms. I got checked out anyway. The whole thing had seriously disgusted me though.

Gavin was different than either of those guys, he was fun and easy going, but serious about his work. He had an awesome group of friends, who I knew, too, and he was openly affectionate. He was also honest, I knew if I asked him, he’d tell me that he was seeing other women, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. When and if he was ready, we’d move forward in our relationship. Until then, I was okay with what we had, even if the thought of another woman touching him made me sick.

Pulling the lid off the Dutch oven, I pulled the roast out and sliced it, then returned the meat back to the thick juices and vegetables. Carrying it over, I set it on the trivet in the center of the table. I fussed with the placemats, cloth napkins, silverware and china I had set, making sure everything was perfect. My square, distressed cream table with butcher block top had been set with the best I had. I had been given two pieces of china for my hope chest, when I was seventeen. It was honestly, the stupidest gift I’d ever been given, or at least I’d thought that then. Now, I was glad I had it.

There wasn’t anything special about that night, but I’d wanted to do something nice for Gavin. He’d taken me out for dinner a few times, for lunch, even for breakfast, but I wanted to cook for him. I knew if I took him out, he’d never let me pay, or actually take him. The green beans almandine was his favorite, and I pulled them out of the warm oven, to rest on the counter as well as the yeast rolls I’d made the day before. His favorite chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting was already finished and sitting on my favorite ice blue cake plate, on the counter. I pulled the pint glass I’d put in the freezer to cool and poured the Guinness in when I heard his truck door close out front.

I stood in the kitchen, feeling strangely shy and a little embarrassed. Was this all too much? Would he see it as some desperate attempt at pushing him into more of a relationship than he wanted? Fuck, every part of me wanted to toss all of it, while he stood on the front porch and waited. Since he’d swiped my key a few weeks ago, though, I knew he wouldn’t wait long.

This was Gavin, my friend, my – whatever, he wouldn’t think it was stupid, he wouldn’t think anything, except that I was trying to do something nice. Why was I letting our past, my previous embarrassment, affect my behavior and my confidence now? I wasn’t some weak ass woman, who needed a man’s approval for shit. I wasn’t like that with anyone, except Gavin. Fuck, what was wrong with me?

Unfortunately, I knew exactly what the problem was, no one else had mattered, not like Gavin did. No one had ever been important enough to me to worry about, I hadn’t even cared that much when I’d broken up with my only two boyfriends; but I’d been devastated when Gavin had gone away, when our friendship had ended, I’d been heartbroken. I knew that my feelings hadn’t diminished, not even a little bit. They’d only grown stronger over the years.

“Honey, I’m home,” he called from the front door, as he walked in, tossed his keys and phone on the little table by the door and moved farther into the room.

Holding his beer in one hand, the other on my LBD clad hip, I cocked my hip to one side and smirked at him playfully. “Welcome home, dear. Have a good day?” I used the best sultry, come-hither voice I had.

Gavin’s eyebrows shot toward the ceiling, his eyes focused on my body, and I was pretty sure his tongue lolled to one side. He seemed to take a minute to pull himself together, he shook his head slightly and moved toward me. His stride was purposeful, predatory and so damn seductive.

“Well, if I had this to come home to every night, -”

He didn’t say any more, just left that sentence hanging, but I thought it said good things for my future. Taking the beer from my hand, he set it on the counter, grabbed me around the waist and lifted me so my face was level with his. My hands flew to his chest, to steady myself as I began to rise, and the feel of his muscles under his shirt, were enough to dampen my panties thoroughly.

Gavin’s mouth crashed down on mine, the kiss was possessive, tender, seductive and I wanted it to go on forever. I’d never, not once, been kissed like that, not even by Gavin. Somehow, during the kiss, he’d wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight, firm, protected, it was beautiful, just where I’d always wanted to be.

When he finally broke the kiss, he held me, allowing me to slide down, slowly. Tipping my head to one side, I asked “so, you like that I can cook?”

“Mmmhm,” he groaned, sliding his hands from around my waist and took a small step back. “What did you make?” He asked, turning to look at the table.

The meal was simple, but I’d put a lot of thought into it. I had no way of knowing what Gavin’s favorite foods were now, but I made what he’d liked when we were young. I wanted him to feel welcomed, to feel appreciated, maybe even loved. There was no doubt that I loved him, as a friend if nothing more, but I was pretty sure I’d never really stopped loving him like
that
. It had always been him for me, no one else had been right, and I had a feeling that no one ever would.

Turning, I walked into the kitchen to get the rest of the food and brought it to the table, as Gavin was peeking under the lid to the Dutch oven. “You made pot roast?”

“I did,” replying shyly, and again feeling like maybe my efforts were too telling, maybe it was all too much.

“I love it, sweetheart, thank you.” His gentle smile was all I needed to settle my nerves again. We settled into dinner, and an easy conversation. I was excited about our upcoming trip to the Gulf, and we talked a little about the trip, places we could go and Gavin told me about the house.”

“If you cook like this all the time, I’m going to get a gut.”

Raising an eyebrow, I looked over his torso, inspecting his excellent physique. His muscles were nothing less than perfect. He worked hard and it defiantly showed. He was wearing a tight navy tee, that had been covered by a navy and white striped button up shirt, but he’d stripped that off after he’d walked in. He did that a lot, I'd noticed; if it was at my house or his, he shed the layers of his work clothes, until he was back to just himself once more. The sight of him, the image of his hard, muscular body was enough to make my nipples tighten and my breaths to quicken. Of course, as he noticed just about everything, he noticed.

Gavin smirked, when my eyes finally met his. “I don’t think you need to worry,” I told him, my voice husky.

“You like what you see, huh?” He asked, that damn cocky grin on his face.

“Not bad,” I told him, shrugging my shoulders. I was purposely goading him, and he knew it. We’d always teased each other, it was good to get that back now, but in much more entertaining ways. His eyes were lit with laughter, the chocolate irises, twinkled with veins of gold, made them look almost like they were glowing when he was happy.

His hand reached across to me, sitting at an angle nearest him and he grabbed my side, over my dress and began to tickle. He’d tickled me when we were kids and I’d secretly loved it, but it had stopped abruptly when my breasts grew. Now, he was relentless, letting one long finger, find that perfect spot, the one only he knew and began to torment me.

Jumping up, I backed up from the table, doing my best to escape. He snagged me around the waist, as I tried to flee and pulled me firmly onto his lap.

“Not bad, huh?” He asked, resting his forehead on mine, peering deep into my eyes, and running his hands over me, his rough, calloused hands, gliding down my back, one spanning my waist and the other cupping my ass. Nodding, I looked back, and wondered if I even wanted to try to escape. Really, I probably didn’t.

Wrapping his fingers around my wrist, he pulled my hand and rested it flat on his stomach, and pushed it up, then down, forcing me to feel just how solidly built he was.

“You want to point out any areas I should work on?” Damn man, he knew his body was phenomenal. “Do you think I’ve gone soft anywhere?”

The innuendo was obvious. Especially when he pressed his very not-soft erection into me. Shaking my head in the negative, I was transfixed on his gaze, unable to look away from him.

He took my mouth in another scorching, life altering kiss, binding my heart to his. If he kept kissing me like that, I’d never be able to get over him – not that I wanted to. Releasing my hand, he allowed me to explore the beauty of his body, while he pulled me in closer, and claimed my mouth in a kiss so carnal, I worried that I’d leave a damn spot when I finally stood.

Pulling away, just enough for each of us to catch our breath, he rested our foreheads together and ran his nose along the bridge of mine.