Gavin (A Redemption Romance #3) (14 page)

I sent a quick reply, not caring if I woke him up. I fought the urge to call Dawn, to drive to her house, it was the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, since it was the middle of the night, and I was wide awake, I couldn’t stop myself. I got out of bed, pulled on a pair of track pants, a long sleeved T-shirt and slipped into my shoes.

Driving the twenty minutes to her house, I tried to convince myself over and over again to turn around, to go home, to stop this, but I couldn’t. I had to know that she was home, that she was safe, that the motorcycle wasn’t anywhere around.

Turning onto her street, I slowed and parked in front of her house, leaving the truck running, I turned the lights off, so I didn’t attract attention. I scanned the area, I’d noticed her car right away, but I looked for any others that might be here, at her house.

Finding none, I let out a breath of relief. She was alone, I hoped, she didn’t have an overnight guest. It would have killed me if I saw another man’s car parked in front of her house, that had been my greatest fear. The bike wasn’t anywhere nearby either. She was alone, she was safe. I didn’t want her to be alone, but I wouldn’t use my key now.

The truck still running, I climbed down and left her another note. I put this one under her windshield wiper. She’d have to see it. She’d call me.

Seeing her car, settled my panic, that and not seeing any others, but now, I had to figure out why she wasn’t texting me back, why she’d looked so freaked when she came into the station the other day. She hadn’t answered any of my calls. Something was wrong, I just hadn’t had two fucking seconds to figure it out.

I headed back home, then paced the small space of my room, trying to figure out what had happened. I’d thought things were going well, Dawn and I had come into our friendship with relative ease, we started dating, we’d made love, it was perfect. With every breath I breathed, I craved her, I needed her in my bed every night, even if I wasn’t in it. When I came home, I needed to crawl into bed and be able to pull her to me, not be alone.

It was a long, lonely night, but when the light of dawn started to peak through the blinds, I watched it. The light slowly crept into the darkness and overtook it. Dawn overpowered the darkness, my darkness. It wasn’t long before the room was filled with dawn’s light, tossing all the darkness away. Seeing the metaphor for what it was, I knew in that moment that I would stop at nothing to have Dawn shine her light and fill me with it, she and only she could take all the darkness and pain of my past and make it bearable. Dawn was absolutely my one. I would do whatever it took to make her see that. If it took fifty years, I’d never, not ever stop trying to win my Dawn, the girl who should have always been mine.

When ten am finally ticked over, I grabbed my now charged phone and called her. I was off this weekend, since we were supposed to be going away, I had nothing to do, but pursue her.

“Fuck!” I shouted into the silent room, when her phone immediately went to voice mail.

Looking at my screen, searching for answers it couldn’t give, I noticed a missed text. Jesus, how did I miss that?

Dawn: Yep, fine, the store had a little flooding, I am going to work to help get it cleaned out.

That message was about as disingenuous as it could be. Sure, I wasn’t surprised that she’d help clean up the store, but there was a hell of a lot more going on than she was telling me. Well, at least I knew where she would be, I had nothing better to do than help, and she wasn’t blowing me off anymore.

My heart lightened at the thought, that all this misunderstanding would be put to rest; thanks to the storm, her power outage and my crazy-ass work schedule, things had been strange.

Throwing on a pair of old worn jeans and a long sleeved tee, I found my work gloves and a pair of waterproof boots. I had no idea how bad the damage was, but I’d come prepared. I shoved my phone and wallet into my pocket and purposely left my work phone at home. I was on vacation this weekend, which meant that unless the world came to an end, I was not on call.

Parking my truck near the rear entrance of the store, I decided to head down to the coffee shop the girls loved and grab something. Walking through the door, I noticed a pair of familiar wide shoulders bent over, trying to talk to the pretty owner. She was blushing and avoiding eye contact with him. His finger traced the line of her jaw as she tried to look away, but I noticed the smile in her eyes. I hoped, for Reed’s sake that he’d have an easier time of things with Gillian, than I was having with Dawn.

Chuckling, I walked over and slapped him on the back.

“Hey, man, looks like you had the same idea that I did.”

“Doubt it,” he muttered under his breath, low enough that the pretty blonde couldn’t hear.

“You come down to help?” Reed asked as he straightened and looked my way.

“Yep, how bad is it?” My smile was wide, I felt happier than I had since Dawn had been upset on Wednesday. Realizing that there wasn’t anything I couldn’t fix, and having a plan made all the difference.

Reed told me about the wet floors and the boxes of damaged merchandise. It didn’t sound like a huge issue, just some simple clean up and stuff. Thankfully, the water hadn’t gotten into the walls, that would have been a major pain in the ass.

He finished up his order, I placed mine and added a few more things for the group. Reed had plenty for everyone, but I knew what Dawn’s favorites were. The macaroons and the black and white cookies were a must.

We walked back to Indulgence, and were greeted by just about everyone. Shit, Trent was here? How the fuck had he known and not called me? Maybe if I’d talked to him, he would have, but I’d been dodging his nosey ass since Wednesday, mostly because I’d had no idea what the fuck to say.

The one person that didn’t greet us with a smile, was Dawn. She yelled out a hello and a thank you, but stayed focused on her task. I wasn’t going to let that deter me. I walked right over, leaned down and kissed the side of her mouth.

“Hey, sweet Dawn,” I whispered into her ear. She was obviously surprised at my overt gesture, but she didn’t back away. Sadly, she didn’t return the kiss either.

My plan was to show her, just how I felt about her. If I was around, giving her affection and was totally open with her, she would learn to trust me wholly and we’d be good again. Hopefully, my plan didn’t suck.

“Hey,” she muttered, without even turning to face me. She was bent over a box, marking items off on a spreadsheet. I knew that she was absorbed in her task, but I wasn’t stupid, she was brushing me off.

Fuck that shit, I’d work harder.

Speaking softly so no one would overhear, I told her; “I missed feeling your warm body wrapped around me the last couple of nights.”

The strangest thing happened, I watched as she stiffened and something crossed her face, that looked a hell of a lot like pain. What the fuck was that? Pain? Reminding her of being in bed with me caused her pain? That would need some serious consideration. Something had happened, I just couldn’t figure out what.

I knew Dawn’s expressions, she’d grown more guarded over the years, but she hadn’t changed that much. I could read her like a book, usually. I just didn’t know her every thought anymore. When she thought I wasn’t looking, I caught her looking at me, her eyes were sad, like she was grieving something. What could have happened between the time she arrived to bring me coffee, and when Trent saw her running away from the station in tears? Had someone called her? Had someone said something to upset her? I had no idea. I wish I’d seen her; with I’d have known she was there.

Aurora, being the highly intelligent woman that she was, gave me tasks that kept me near Dawn most of the day. It was busy, but with all hands on deck, Aurora’s store was put back to normal by dinner time. She would keep the store closed one more day, to be sure there wasn’t any more dampness, and open back up on Monday.

Luke invited everyone over for pizza and beer, at their house after an exhausting day of work. We packed it in and headed that way. I’d stopped off at the store for him, so I arrived later than everyone else. The first thing I noticed when I drove up was, Dawn’s little mini wasn’t there. I looked up and down the street several times, thinking that maybe it was hidden by one of the big trucks, but no, she wasn’t there. Heading inside, I sat the cases of beer on the counter and asked Aurora about Dawn.

“She already had plans tonight.” She told me, giving me an apologetic smile.

“What?” I asked, totally confused. “How could she have plans? We were supposed to be away, when did she make other plans?”

Aurora shrugged her shoulders, seeming not to know what was going on between us, but understanding that something was indeed wrong.

Luke strode into the room, having overheard us and said, “She’s avoiding you, dumbass, isn’t that obvious?”

“You sure as fuck would know what it looks like, wouldn’t you?” Jackass, like I hadn’t realized that shit already. Luke’s instant glare almost made me laugh. It hadn’t been that long, after all, that Aurora had been avoiding him.

Turning, I walked out of the room and straight to my truck. Climbing in, I drove to Dawn’s house. She wasn’t home. “Fucking shit,” I grumbled, frustrated that she was, indeed avoiding me. Parking at the curb, I dug my phone from my back pocket and called her. As I hit the most recently dialed number, I scanned the area, looking for the Harley, but didn’t see it.

Her phone rang three times and went to voicemail. I was sick of her voicemail greeting. “This is Dawn, sorry I missed you. Leave me a message.” Her soft, melodious voice warmed my heart and heated my blood in ways no one ever had before.

“Call me, I think we need to talk,” was all I said. Disconnecting the call, I drove.

It was almost nine when I pulled up to my own house. I’d driven aimlessly, trying to figure out what was happening. Before I got out of the truck, my phone rang. Grabbing it from the center console, I answered it without looking first.

“Hello,” I said excitedly into the device.

“Gavin, hey. I’m back in town, are we meeting up tomorrow?” It was Chelsea. Damn, I was glad to hear from her, but so disappointed that it hadn’t been Dawn.

We talked for a few minutes, about her move and the new job she’d be starting in two weeks. She’d gone through the interview process with the sheriff’s department, she’d work out of the same station I did after completing the lateral academy and training.

The lateral class was a shortened program for current police officers to learn the ropes of our department. Each agency had slightly different codes, as well as local laws and procedures, that even the most seasoned officers had to learn.

Chelsea worked in Houston and after a nasty divorce was excited to move here and be near family again. Her mother had moved to Arizona after her brother had gotten married and started having children, so she was alone now. Since she’d been married to a captain in her department. Sadly, it was now a very uncomfortable situation.

We agreed to meet the following morning for coffee and after we disconnected the call, I sent a text to my brother, letting him know the time and place.

Dawn

Over the past few days, I’d successfully avoided Gavin. Well, mostly, he’d come to help at the store yesterday, which had been really sweet of him. Even there, though, I’d kept my distance. When he’d whispered about our passionate night, my body tightened and I was sure he’d seen through my bravado straight to my broken heart. He’d always been able to read me.

I’d also gotten a few texts from Zach. He’d gotten my number from Nicole, which bothered me at first, but when I realized that he’d just wanted to apologize, I relaxed.

After a lot of cajoling, he’d convinced me to meet him for coffee. Zach had asked to pick me up, but I wasn’t comfortable with that. He promised that he felt terrible about the way he’d treated me, and just wanted to make it up to me. Finally, I’d agreed. We were to meet at eleven at the Starbucks downtown.

Stepping inside the bustling coffee shop, I glanced around and didn’t see Zach, there were so many people at the scattered tables, chairs, standing around and in the long line. Then, I saw him, and as I focused on him and who he was talking to, the hairs on the back of my neck prickled. I’d been set up. There was no way in hell that this was a coincidence. Zach was up to his evil tricks again.

He was standing in front of a small table, talking animatedly with two people; Gavin and the beautiful woman. The three of them looked like they knew each other well, all were smiling and comfortable with each other. Zach’s hand was on the woman’s thin shoulder, but when I saw Gavin laugh at something she said, he leaned in and placed a hand on top of her forearm, my body jolted. My eyes dropped, but just before they had, I thought I’d seen Zach’s gaze shoot up to me, like he knew I’d be standing there.

My feet moved, finally unstuck from the spot; I pushed through the crowd of people and out the door. Had Zach known that they’d be there? Had he planned it, so I’d see them? Was he trying to hurt me, or to warn me? I had no idea, but I did know that I had to leave, had to go, had to get away. I needed Tyler.

Thirty minutes later, Ty opened his door, wearing a pair of low slung black satin pajama pants and no shirt. Looking down at my watch told me it was close to noon, was he just getting out of bed?

When I heard Marc’s voice call out, asking who was there, I started to turn around, regretting my hasty decision to come to the one person in this world who loved me, who always supported me.

“Hey, don’t come in.” He said, grabbing my shoulder and pulling me in. Closing the door, he wrapped me in his strong arms and I burst into tears.

Sobbing into his bare chest, I began to hiccup and cried harder.

“Whoa, hey, what is it?” He asked, brushing his hand down my hair.

I couldn’t speak, I tried, but I couldn’t get the words out.

Still wrapped in his comforting embrace, he led me to the sofa and sat me down. Within seconds, Marc brought me a glass of orange juice and a box of tissues. He didn’t say anything, but gave me a sad smile and walked back to the kitchen.

Tyler’s condo wasn’t large, but it was nice and the kitchen was separated by a wall from the front of the house. It opened up into a nice family room at the back, that had a view of downtown. We were afforded about as much privacy as we could get.

Taking a sip of the juice, I realized that Marc was a smart man, it was spiked with something, whiskey maybe. I drank it down and forced myself to calm. Tyler was getting agitated by my obvious upset and I knew it wouldn’t be long before he would lose it, if I didn’t talk.

He already knew what had happened Wednesday, so I told him about avoiding Gavin’s calls and texts since then, how he’d come into the store the day before, about Zach and Starbucks this morning.

Tyler was angry, livid actually, he wanted to beat the shit out of Zach and then Gavin. He’d already been keyed up about the episode at the station on Wednesday, and the lies Gavin had told me Tuesday night. He hated when I cried, I didn’t do it often, but when I did, Tyler would get more upset than I ever was.

Marc went out for food a couple of hours later, and the three of us settled in to watch movies. I’d tried to leave them to their day, but Marc promised me that I wasn’t in the way and that they hadn’t planned on doing anything more. I was relieved to hear it from Marc, I knew that Tyler would drop everything for me, but I didn’t want Marc to be annoyed by the needy friend.

About three in the afternoon, I woke up on the couch, Marc’s arm on my knee, Tyler’s arm around my shoulders. I felt comforted, and cocooned in friendship. Realization hit me, and I knew what I needed to do.

“Ty?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah, sweets?”

“Can I stay in your spare room for a couple of days?”

His brows furrowed as he studied my face. “Of course, you don’t have to ask that. What’s your plan?”

“I just need to hide out for a few days, I think he’ll try to find me, and I can’t talk to him right now. I need to get over this before I see him again.” I explained, knowing that Gavin would do that, he’d been by my house at least twice, he’d left notes. It would be impossible for me to avoid him if I was home, he’d lose patience and just use his key if I didn’t let him in. I needed to get that back, or just pay to get the damn locks changed.

Eventually, I would be able to face him, but not yet, not without breaking into tears and showing him just how much I felt for him. I wouldn’t give the lying bastard that kind of power over me, not ever again.

“What about work? Won’t he just show up there?” Ty was a smart man; he was absolutely right.

Nodding, I picked up my phone and ignored the texts waiting for me. I called Aurora and told her that I wasn’t feeling well. She told me to take my time and not to worry. She and Amber could easily cover the store hours with me out, they’d done it for years before I started. I felt bad, but I wasn’t lying, I felt like shit.

Tyler’s sad smile gave me pause, was he disappointed in my cowardly behavior?

“I’m sorry sweets, I feel responsible.”

“Why?” I asked, totally confused.

“I encouraged you to explore things with him, I thought he was the real deal.”

My eyes welled with tears again, but I bit my lip and willed them not to fall.

“No, it’s me, it’s my old feelings coming back. If it had been anyone else, it wouldn’t be this bad, I just believed him, you know, I trusted him.”

Marc squeezed my knee, and I looked over at him, still wary of his relationship with Tyler, but he was starting to grow on me.

“Any man who can’t see just how special you are, who doesn’t think you are more than enough, is an idiot.”

My smile grew with appreciation and I launched myself into his arms. I hugged him hard and the tears fell again. I didn’t miss the sweet smile that Tyler gave him, and my heart warmed toward him.

Over the next three days, I slept, ate takeout that Tyler or Marc bought and did my best to relocate the steel in my spine. I thought about my mother a lot. She’d been only eighteen when she’d met and fell in love with a man. He may have left her, but her love had never lessened. Would I end up as the hollow, lonely woman she had?

As a young girl, I remembered my mother getting up and dressed in her best every day. She taught me to do the same, she said that the day my father came back, she wanted to be ready, she didn’t want him to see her and think she hadn’t been expecting him. That had gone on for years.

On my fourth birthday, I was determined that somehow he knew about me and he’d come. I got dressed in my favorite party dress, then went to sit on the porch. It was November, so after two hours, my mom forced me to put a coat on, but I refused to go inside.

Sitting on that porch, I watched every car that went by, studying the people inside, wondering if any of the men were my father. The way she’d spoken of him, my mom had convinced me that he was some great man, and I had just known that he would come on my birthday.

I fell asleep on the porch that night, and my little girl's heart had broken. My hope and faith in the man who had helped create me was all but gone.

On Wednesday morning, I pulled up my big girl panties, thankful they were clean, since Ty had gone to my house to get me provisions, and decided it was time to go to work. Cleaning and packing up, I left Tyler a note, thanking him for letting me stay with him, and for all the love and support he and Marc had given me. Walking to my car, I turned my phone on and waited while it beeped with numerous missed calls and texts.

There weren’t nearly as many as I’d expected, hoped for. Instead of looking, I called Aurora and assured her that I was better and that I’d be at work later. She sounded relieved to hear that I was feeling fine, but I detected a hint of concern in her voice. I wondered how much she knew about my current drama. Had Gavin figured out that I’d seen him with the leggy brunette? Did she know about all of it? Part of me hoped that she did, just so I wouldn’t have to tell her – not that I would. I’d been good with keeping this shit to myself recently.

I made it back to my house, with plenty of time to get ready for the day. I didn’t need to be in until noon, so I could spend some time at home doing laundry and mentally preparing for going into the store. The chances of seeing Gavin were decently high, if he wanted to see me, it would be easy to find out I was there and just walk through the door.

While in my bathroom, I heard my phone ring, but I ignored it, deciding to wait and check it when I went back in the bedroom. It took all my willpower to stay put and not grab it up and read every damn word Gavin McNeil said.

It may not even be him, I reminded myself, trying to prepare for the disappointment. What was it with me? I was pushing him away, I was distancing myself, to save my heart, so why would I want him to call?

As I shut off the blow dryer, I heard a hard pounding at the front door. Surprised and confused, I walked into the front room and looked out the peep hole. It was Gavin. Shit!

“Dawn, I know you’re there, open the fucking door,” he shouted, sounding angry.

I hesitated for a few seconds, really not wanting to talk to him, but not wanting to cause a scene with the neighbors either. When the banging and shouting started up again, I gave in.

Pulling the door open, I looked up into wide, panicked chocolate colored eyes. His dark brown hair was messy, it looked like he’d been running his hands through it, maybe even pulling at the soft strands. Dark circles stood out against his unusually pale skin. His appearance jarred me, he looked disheveled and just wrong. I was stunned looking up at him, I forgot to block his entry, forgot to guard my heart from this lying bastard. Forgot that he wasn’t worth the love I’d held in my heart for almost twenty years. My distraction gave him, the
in,
he needed.

He stood and stared at me for what seemed like hours, until he pushed inside and grabbed me, wrapping me up in his thick, muscular arms. His body trembled as he held me and pressed my face against his chest. I could hear his rapidly beating heart through the soft cotton of his shirt.

I didn’t move, didn’t respond, nothing. I couldn’t. It felt wonderful to be held by him, of course it did, but it wouldn’t be wonderful for long. I knew what it felt like to see him put his hands on another woman and I was sure as hell not going to live that nightmare again and again.

“My god, Dawn, fuck, I’ve been so worried.” He rasped out, sounding like the words were being ripped from him.

“Why?” I asked, my body was completely rigid, my tone was flat, and I knew he sensed it. I was cold and I was never cold, not like that. I had nothing else inside me. When he pulled back to look at me, I felt him flinch when he got a good look at my eyes; empty of all emotion.

“I couldn’t find you, your phone was off, you weren’t home, you didn’t go to work, Aurora said that you were sick and I couldn’t get to you.”

I could just almost believe his heartfelt words, especially when he crushed me into his chest again. I’d seen the confusion in his eyes. Sure, he was confused, he didn’t know that I’d seen him with
her
. I kept the image of his hand on hers in the coffee shop replaying in my mind, just to keep my wits about me. It would be too easy for Gavin to move in again, to make me forget about the pain I’d been harboring for the past week.

“I’m sorry that you were worried, but I’m fine.” I pulled away from him, or tried, but his arms were so tight around me, like steel bands, he held me close and shook his head. When my words registered, and maybe my struggle too, he stilled. Placing one of his hands on each of my shoulders, he moved back and held me, staring down at my face. There was a graveness to his expression, I didn’t think I’d ever seen.

Gavin studied me for several minutes, “the fuck you’re fine, I can see it in your eyes. You’ve been holding back from me, you cut me off, you, fuck, I don’t even know, but Jesus, it’s killing me.”

His beautiful eyes were clouded with grief and the pain that I was sure reflected in mine. I didn’t want to explain that I’d seen him with the beautiful woman, and that I’d been so jealous I couldn’t stand it. He’d lied to me, he’d told me that I was the only one, and then, there he was the very next day with another woman.

“Gavin, we’re friends, I know, I-”

“Friends?” He growled, his eyes wide, his voice so low and rumbling I would have been terrified if he were anyone else. “The fuck we’re friends, what the hell have I been doing all these weeks? Last Tuesday night was sure as fuck not
friendly
.” He demanded, before crashing his desperate, hungry mouth down on mine.