Geis of the Gargoyle (12 page)

They ate breakfast, used up another ellipsis or two, and resumed their trek.
 
The Demoness Mentis wasn't in evidence; apparently she was quickly bored when things were dull, so faded out.
 
Gary was satisfied to leave her out, now that they had a safe path to follow.

They intersected a path heading north, and followed it wp Vo tine nmsftAe bridge across fce Gap Chasm.
 
Iris used it without hesitation, so Gary did too, though it looked like nothing at all, and it took them right across the yawning gulf.
 
That surprised him; then he realized that even the Gap Chasm might get bored and sleepy when nothing much was happening, so yawning was natural.

At last they came to the golems' club house.
 
But the club was lying on the ground.
 
The family seemed to have moved into a more conventional home recently.
 
There it was: a small cottage industree.
 
It looked like a cross between the industree he had seen before, and a big cheese.

Gary approached the treetrunk and knocked on the door there.
 
In a moment a tiny woman with very long hair opened it.
 
"Stranger, we don't mean to be unfriendly, but this region isn't safe for visitors," she said, looking worried.

"I am Gary Gargoyle in manform," he said.
 
"And this is the Sorceress Iris in youthform.
 
The Good Magician sent us to-to tutor Surprise."

"Oh, you're the one!" the little woman exclaimed.
 
"Oh, wonderful! We just can't handle her any more.
 
She's out of control.
 
I'm her mother, Rapunzel.
 
Here she is." She reached back inside the tree and brought forth a small bundle.

"But-" But his protest was stifled, because there in his hands was the bundle.
 
It seemed to be a tiny little girl.
 
The door to the house was closed.

"But she's so small," Iris said, almost as doubtful about this as Gary was.

"Surprise!" the tot exclaimed.
 
Her tiny eyes crossed.
 
Suddenly she was full normal six-year-old little girl sized, being awkwardly held by Gary's arms.
 
She kissed him on the cheek.
 
"Do you like me?"

"Why, I don't know," Gary said as he carefully set her down.
 
"Are you likable?"

"Sure, when I want to be.
 
Are you going to be interesting or dull?"

"I have no idea."

"That's interesting," Surprise decided.
 
"Let's go."

"But we can't just take you from your family," he protested.
 
"We have to talk to your parents first." Then he became aware that she wasn't standing before him any more.
 
"Where are you?"

There was a giggle from somewhere.
 
He looked around, and Iris looked around, but they couldn't spy the source of the giggle.
 
So Gary knocked on the door again.

The door opened.
 
"Yes?" Rapunzel asked, as if they hadn't just met.

"We seem to have lost your daughter," Gary said, embarrassed.

"Oh, that's all right.
 
We lose her all the time.
 
It's one of her talents."

"One of her-?"

"She can't be found when she doesn't want to be found," Rapunzel explained.
 
"She has a number of ways to get lost."

"But then how can we find her?"

"You'll just have to make her want to be found.
 
Do you have anything that might interest her?"

Gary was blank, but Iris came to the rescue.
 
"I can make very interesting illusions."

Surprise reappeared.
 
"You can? Let me see!"

A miniature replica of the golems' cottage tree appeared in the air before the Sorceress, complete with tiny figures of the four of them.
 
It looked extremely realistic.

"Gee!" the child exclaimed.
 
"I like it." Her eyes crossed.
 
And before her appeared an even smaller replica, with even tinier figures.

Iris gaped.
 
"But I'm the only one who can do this kind of illusion," she protested.

"I'm sorry," Surprise said, and her replica vanished.

"She just does anything she wants to," Rapunzel said.
 
"We love her, but we can't handle her.
 
When she knocked over our club house in a fit of super-strength, we gave up and petitioned the Good Magician for relief.
 
He said he would send a tutor.
 
We're certainly glad to see you! Bring her back when she's under control." She closed the door again.

"But-" Gary began helplessly.
 
But he realized it was futile; this was his Service to the Good Magician, and he would have to try to perform it.
 
Despite his complete incompetence.
 
The little girl did not seem to be mean spirited, just wild.

"And I'm supposed to help," Iris said morosely.
 
"Can youth be worth it?"

"Youth!" Surprise exclaimed, crossing her eyes.
 
Suddenly Iris was her apparent age: six.
 
Her clothing was piled around her, as it had not shrunk to fit-and in any event it wouldn't have fit, because the proportions were different.

Iris took only half an instant to realize what had happened.
 
"Surprise, restore me this instant!" she said severely.

"Okay," the little girl said contritely.
 
Iris reappeared in full size.
 
But now her collapsed clothing was bunched around her midsection, leaving her top bare.
 
Gary had not seen a grown woman's top exposed, since assuming manform, and he found it interesting.

"Gary, look away!" Iris screamed.
 
"Surprise, restore my clothing too."

Gary started to turn away, obedient to the voice of command, but before he completed the effort the Sorceress' clothing jumped into proper place, making it unnecessary.

"Why didn't you just clothe yourself with illusion?" he asked as she adjusted herself.

"I didn't think of it," she confessed.
 
"But this needs to be dealt with." She addressed the child.
 
"Surprise, you must not fool with other people.
 
It's not nice."

"Why?" Surprise asked, her cute little brow furrowing in perplexity.

"I told you: it's not nice.
 
Promise not to do it again."

Surprise frowned.
 
"But it's fun."

Gary realized that there was a problem, reasoning with a child.
 
He remembered how young gargoyles were disciplined.
 
"Because if you do it again," he said firmly, "the Sorceress will make the illusion of a monster that looks like a-" He hesitated, not certain what would properly scare a human child.
 
He grasped at a straw.
 
"Like a big stone gargoyle."

Iris obliged by conjuring the illusion of a creature that looked just like Gary himself, before his transformation.
 
He had to admire it; he had not realized what a fine specimen he was.

Surprise stared at the gargoyle, daunted.
 
Then she summoned her childish courage.
 
"Aw, that doesn't scare-"

The gargoyle opened its ponderous mottled marble mouth and spewed forth a splash of water.

"Eeeeeek!" Surprise screamed, vanquished.
 
"I promise! Please, no cold baths!"

The gargoyle vanished.
 
"That's nice," Iris said graciously.
 
She shot a glance of gratitude at Gary for his help.
 
It was slowly becoming muddily clear why the two of them had been selected to handle this mission.
 
They had just worked together to pass the first hurdle in bringing the wild child under control.

But what was he supposed to tutor Surprise about? He doubted that she needed to know how to purify water, and she certainly wouldn't have the patience to sit still for a century spouting fluid from her mouth.
 
His expertise was in no discipline that related well to the needs of a human child.

Yet it was widely believed that the Good Magician never gave a wrong Answer, however farfetched or irrelevant it might seem initially.
 
Gary had to hope that this was not the exception.

"Now we had better go somewhere," Iris said.
 
"I don't think this child's folks want her back until she has been, um, properly tutored."

"The Good Magician said to take her with me on my quest to find a philter," Gary said.
 
"So we might as well get started."

"A philter?" Iris inquired.
 
"What for?"

"To purify all the water of Xanth, so that there won't be any more pollution from Mundania."

Iris glanced significantly at Surprise.
 
"Maybe someone could find or make that philter for you."

"What's a filter?" Surprise asked.

"Then again, maybe not," Iris concluded.

"The Good Magician also said that Hiatus would know where it was, I think."

"Hiatus? The brother of Lacuna?" she asked sharply.
 
"I remember those two mischievous tots! They were completely empty of responsibility; it was just one lapse after another.
 
Do you know what they did at the wedding of Humfrey and the Gorgon?"

"No," Gary admitted.
 
"Was it interesting?"

"It was outrageous.
 
They used their talents to entirely disrupt the ceremony.
 
They-"

"Gee," the child said, interested.

Iris glanced again at Surprise, and evidently changed her mind.
 
Gary understood why: the child was too apt to imitate any talent anyone mentioned.
 
"Well, that's irrelevant.
 
No doubt Hiatus has matured some in the interim.
 
It has been a number of years.
 
We shall have to enlist his assistance in your quest."

"Yes.
 
But I don't know where to find him."

"He's probably at Castle Zombie.
 
If not, the Zombie Master or Millie the Ghost will know where to find him."

"There's a ghost among the zombies?" Gary asked.

"A ghost!" Surprise exclaimed.
 
Her eyes crossed.
 
A human-sized translucent spook appeared before the three of them, with dark holes for eyes and a boo-shaped mouth.
 
Iris paused.
 
"Harmless," she murmured.
 
"Ignore it." The ghost actually seemed as surprised by them as they were by it.
 
In a moment it floated away, somewhat out of sorts.
 
Gary realized that this was probably the best course, when feasible: to ignore Surprise's magic tricks.
 
"Castle Zombie?"

"I know where it is.
 
But it's a long walk from here.
 
I wish we had a carpet to ride there."

"Carpet!" the child said, and a carpet appeared, with several socks on it.

Iris looked at it.
 
"Where did this come from?"