Geography (27 page)

‘I suppose I could live with their disappointment,' I say after a while, in a sweat.

She smiles at me again, teasing. ‘I could teach you those things we talked about at dinner that time. Sexy lesbian things. Those things you couldn't imagine.'

Suddenly I am having no problem with my imagination at all. I imagine my fingers inside her, the intense heat of her, the way her cunt clenches at my hand as if she wants to take me all in. I imagine how very wet she is and how silky that feels. Thinking of this, I am beside myself. I am in myself.

She is so close now that we are almost kissing, and I find that I am having trouble thinking of saying anything to her, of doing anything but kissing her. So that's what I do. I lean forward towards my beautiful friend, my gorgeous friend, and kiss her. On her broad mouth. On her soft hard full lips.

‘Are you sure?' she is breathing the words right into my mouth.

I hesitate for a second because I don't know where this is going. Then suddenly it occurs to me that not knowing is good. All I do know is my travels, this is where they have brought me. I say to her: ‘I am.'

Acknowledgments

‘Late Fragment' from
All of Us: the collected poems of Raymond Carver
, published by Harvill Press. Copyright © Tess Gallagher. Reprinted by permission of The Random House Group Ltd.

‘The Cinnamon Peeler' by Michael Ondaatje,
The Cinnamon Peeler
. Picador, 1989. Copyright © Michael Ondaatje.

‘California' by Joni Mitchell,
Blue
, Reprise Records, 1971. Copyright © Joni Mitchell.

Every effort has been made to contact the copyright holders of material in this book. However where an omission has occurred, the author and publisher will gladly include acknowledgment in any future editions.

Thanks to my agent Jenny Darling for support, editorial feedback, friendship, and, for a few months there, some office space. Thanks to my publishers at Text Publishing, Patty Brown and Michael Heyward. Thanks to Amanda Brett, for jokes and editing.

For a cover and friendship, thanks to Chong Weng-Ho.

Thanks also to my dear friends and colleagues who endured endless conversations about, and gave much needed feedback on,
Geography
, most particularly Tony Ayres, Kate Cole-Adams, Emily O'Connell, Jane Gleeson-White, Greg Hunt, Daniel Joyce, Kim Langley, Christine McMahon, Helen Murdoch, Meredith Rose and Leigh Small. Thanks too to all of the writers I have worked with over the years who allowed me to edit them, and talk about the writing process.

For help with obscure (well, obscure to me) facts, thanks to James Button, Saul Cunningham, Gideon Haigh, Adrienne Nicotra and Matthew Stephens.

For providing a place to write, thanks to Peter Bishop and Inez Brewer, and the Varuna Writers' Centre.

And finally I would like to thank Virginia Murdoch for many, many things—including her editorial work and IT know-how.