George R.R. Martin - [Wild Cards 18] (49 page)

And Curveball.

And Rosa.

And
Stuntman.

The lying showbiz ace gave Wally a little sneer while the clanking joker hurried to find a seat. All the comfortable spots had been taken. Wally chipped a few bricks as he plopped down on the edge of the fireplace.

If he thought a chill settled over the room when Stuntman watched him enter, the glare that Peregrine gave Simoon was worthy of the worst blizzards back home.

The cameraman that Wally had narrowly avoided crushing the previous day circled the room, panning across the faces of the assembled discards. The cameras swiveled in Peregrine’s direction as she stood.

Wally read the monitor along with her. “Hello, and welcome to all of our current and former contestants. The competition over these past ten weeks has been fierce. Alliances were forged … and broken. Challenges conquered, and failed. Today only three aces are left in the running for the one-million-dollar grand prize. The final three champions vying for the title
American Hero.”

The camera panned across the sofa where Curveball, Rosa, and Stuntman sat. Rosa and Stuntman watched the proceedings with a smirk and a look of superiority, respectively. Curveball was unreadable.

Peregrine continued: “But for those of you already out of the competition, your challenges are not over yet. Today the Discard Pile will choose the final two competitors, by voting to eliminate one of today’s three.”

If the announcement bothered Curveball, she didn’t show it. Stuntman now looked very serious. And Rosa looked particularly unhappy. Many of Wally’s fellow discards, on the other hand, looked smug. Some grinned.

“And since this is the final vote of the competition, we’re doing things a little differently this time.” Peregrine looked around the room, one eyebrow cocked. “We’re not letting you off the hook so easily, Discards. Today’s vote will be an open ballot. No shuffling.”

The grins disappeared.

Ink handed three oversize playing cards to each of the discards. “Think carefully about who deserves to become the first American Hero…and about who doesn’t deserve the honor.” Peregrine paused. “When your name is called, show us who you think is
not
an American Hero.”

Once everybody held three cards, Peregrine tipped an hourglass-shaped egg timer. “Discards: you have three minutes to consider your choice, starting…
now.
Contestants: good luck.”

Wally flipped through the cards. The photos of Stuntman, Rosa, and Curveball looked like the kind of glamorous head shots that all the contestants had submitted with their audition portfolios. His own head shot had been taken on a Polaroid camera in his aunt’s kitchen.

Wally hadn’t exchanged two words with Curveball, but she seemed like good folk. She even smiled at him once, which was more than he could say for a lot of the current and former contestants.

Rosa, on the other hand, had said—quietly, under her breath, so that only he could hear but the cameras wouldn’t pick it up—“Good riddance, you retard,” after Wally had
been eliminated from Team Spades. She reminded him of the crazy Lacosky sisters from back home, and the time soon after his wild card had turned, when they tried pushing him into one of the drainage ponds up near the mine. Just to see if he’d float.

And then there was Stuntman. He looked friendlier in his photo than he did sitting across the room. But Wally found it hard to meet the gaze of either version.

“Discards,” said Peregrine, “your time is up.” Ink went back around the room again, this time collecting two cards from each voter. After she finished, and each member of the Discard Pile held only one card, Peregrine pointed about a third of the way around the circle from Wally. “Tiffani: How do you vote?”

One cameraman trained his lens on the finalists, and the other turned his own toward Tiffani. The West Virginia ace held up the Rosa photo. “I vote against Rosa. Why? I’d pay cash money to see her thrown under a bus. Any takers?” Rosa sneered; the corner of Stuntman’s mouth curled up.

By the time Peregrine and the cameras reached Wally, the vote stood at four against Rosa, three against Stuntman, and one against Curveball. Spasm’s was the sole vote against Curveball; Wally suspected that was Rosa’s doing, in the same way that the Lacosky sisters had gotten Lenny Pikkanen to lend them his car, with promises of a wild time when their parents next went out of town.

“Rustbelt: How do you vote?”

The cameraman crept closer, the lens glaring at Wally like an unblinking eye.
Don’t think about the cameras, don’t think about the cameras, don’t think about the cameras …
Stuntman crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Wally with a bloodless, thin-lipped smile. “I dare you,” it said.

“How do you vote?”

Wally glanced around the room. Not at the dozens of aces, nor at the cameramen, nor the lighting guys, nor any of the others. At the room itself. Carpenters and painters had covered up the earthquake damage. But outside of camera range, they hadn’t fixed anything. It was all fake. Fake and meaningless. Just like the books in the library.

Then he thought about Bugsy’s blog again, and the image of a little girl crushed into the dirt by men driving around in a steel-plated tank. Dead because somebody said she and her family were dangerous.

What’s worse than being hated for what people
say
you are?

Letting them get away with it.

Wally held up his Stuntman card. The air pressure dropped as everybody inhaled at once. The Harlem Hammer cocked his head, watching Wally through narrowed eyes.

“I vote against Stuntman.” He looked Stuntman in the eye. “That’s what you get for being a knucklehead.”

“Pfff.
Figures.” Stuntman tried to dismiss Wally with a wave of his hand, but Wally saw his words hit home.

“That’s all I said that day, and you know it. I didn’t do anything wrong, but you made everyone hate me. Even people that never met me, for cripes’ sake. You don’t deserve to win. You’re too mean.”

Stuntman looked away.

Wally stood. “There’s lots of people like you these days. Some of them even have guns—and worse stuff, gosh damn it.” Hardhat was a bad influence. Nodding to the three judges, Wally added, “I don’t think I want to be on the TV anymore.” Then he turned and walked out of the room.

“Hey! Where’s he going? He can’t leave!”

As Wally clanked up the stairs, he heard Simoon saying, “I… I think he’s going to Egypt.”

Hardhat blurted, “Why in fuck’s sake would he do that?”

Cuveball, very quietly: “To be a hero.”

Back in his room, Wally dug his suitcase out from under his bed. He filled it with the few belongings he’d brought to California: his britches; a few shirts; the photo of Mom and Dad and his brother Pete up at the lake cabin; a box of lemon-scented SOS pads.

He didn’t own a cell phone from which to call for a taxi. They had a tendency to crumple up in Wally’s hands, unless he was extremely careful. So he went back downstairs to use the kitchen phone.

Simoon sauntered in and laid her finger on the disconnect
button as he was jotting down the number for a taxi company. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I need to call a taxi.”

“Why?”

“I need to go to the airport.”

“I mean, why not take the studio limo?”

“That’s for the show.”

“But it’s nicer. And we won’t fit into a single taxi.”

Wally looked up. They weren’t alone. Simoon had been joined by Holy Roller, Earth Witch, King Cobalt, Hardhat, and Bubbles.

“We had a little vote of our own,” she said.

King Cobalt added, “I join you in Egypt, and you join my wrestling federation.” He stuck out his hand. “That’s the deal.”

They shook on it. “You betcha.”

Dragon Girl squeezed in between Bubbles and Earth Witch. “Don’t leave without me! I have to get my stuffies.”

Bubbles shook her head and waved her arms. “Oh, no. Absolutely not. No way are you coming to the genocide with us.” Dragon Girl frowned, and stamped her foot. “Maybe when you’re twelve,” said Bubbles.

Simoon had been right about them not fitting in a taxi. Truth be known, they barely fit into the Discard Pile’s stretch Hummer, either. Wally felt sorry for their driver. On the one hand, Mr. Berman didn’t want him driving the rogue discards to the airport, and suggested that doing such would be a bad career move. On the other hand, seven aces wanted him to drive them to the airport, and suggested that not doing so would be an even worse move.

They wove through the Los Angeles traffic in silence. It went on a long time. Long enough for Wally to wonder if people were sore at him again. Just to break the ice, he said, “So, a fella might wonder who got voted off the show. Just saying, is all.”

Earth Witch sighed. “Rosa got knocked out. So it’s Stuntman and Curveball in the final round. Sorry, Rusty.”

Wally shook his head. “Sounds like a good deal to me. She’ll clean his clock.” The others nodded in agreement.

They rode the rest of the way to LAX in silence, but Wally didn’t mind so much.

A taxi pulled up alongside them as they unloaded their luggage and argued about how much to tip their driver. (The way Wally figured it, he was probably out of a job now, the poor guy.) The back door opened, and out climbed a slim blond woman in a tank top with a duffel bag slung over her shoulder. The taxi pulled away.

Holy Roller squinted. “Praise be—is that Curveball?”

King Cobalt flashed him a thumbs-up.

Hardhat smiled. “Fuckin’A, Rusty. Fuckin’A!” He’d been more inclined to talk to Wally after the events of the previous day. Which was nice, except that he swore so much.

Curveball dropped her duffel bag on the curb. “Room for one more?”

Before anybody could collect their wits enough to speak, yet another car pulled up alongside the group. This one was a silver BMW, and it screeched to a halt. Mr. Berman jumped out. “Kate! Are you out of your goddamn
mind?”

Curveball ignored him.

“Think carefully about what you’re doing. You’re pissing away the opportunity of a lifetime, just to join some half-baked publicity stunt with a bunch of rejects. Listen to me. You don’t need them. A month from now your face can be on the cover of every magazine in America.”

“I have thought about it. And I choose to do something meaningful.”

Mr. Berman pressed his hands to his temples, and ran his hands through his hair. It hardly moved, it had so much mousse in it. “Kate,” he said, pointing at Wally, “just look at these freaks. You’re the most popular character on the show. You’re a shoo-in. You’re walking away from a million dollars. You’ll win if you come back. I
know
it.”

Earth Witch stepped between them. “She made her decision. You need to leave now.” The others joined her.

The network executive stared at them for several seconds. His lips moved, but no sound came out. Wally didn’t think it possible for somebody to turn so red in the face. Finally Mr. Berman said, quietly, “You’re making a huge mistake, Kate.

The worst fucking mistake you’ll ever make.” He got back in his car. Through the open passenger-side window, he yelled, “I’ll slap you assholes with lawsuits so hard your ghosts will be lonely!”

Wally reached out. He rested one finger on the roof of Mr. Berman’s car. The BMW peeled away. An ochre pinstripe appeared under Wally’s fingertip. Mr. Berman tumbled to the pavement thirty yards away in an explosion of orange dust.

The others stared at him, wide-eyed.

Wally shrugged. “Steel-frame construction. Them Germans sure do make some nice cars.” Then he hefted Curveball’s bag in one hand, his suitcase in the other, and entered the airport.

The metal detectors would be a problem. The last time he flew, the studio had handled everything. But his friends would figure something out, he was pretty sure.

Jonathan Hive

Hey, Guys. My Dad’s Got a Warehouse! Let’s Put
on a War!
Posted Today 8:16 pm
GENOCIDE, ASWAN | EXHAUSTED | “WHO BY FIRE”
—LEONARD COHEN

It’s been a hell of a day, but I’m still standing (in the metaphorical sense, since I’m sitting on my ass in a bar in Syrene).

I’m falling asleep on my again-metaphorical feet here. But I’ll do the best I can to catch you folks up. A little geography first. You’ll need it.

Okay. There are two cities at Aswan. Aswan itself is on the east side of the river, near the train tracks. The Egyptian army’s over there. In the middle of the river, there’s Sehel Island (and Kitchener’s Island, and Elephantine Island, and Amun Island with, I shit you not, a Club Med), where a bunch of the Living Gods are holed up. On the west side of the river, there’s Syrene. That’s where we are. The Aswan airport’s on our side. Got that so far?

Okay, next (and much to my surprise), there’s not a dam. There’s two dams. The Low Dam is older, farther north (which is to say downstream—up and down the Nile’s confusing when you’re used to reading north as up) and nowhere near as apocalyptic as the High Dam. The High Dam? That’s to the south.

When you were a kid, maybe you heard about how the Nile flooded every year. Well it doesn’t anymore. Because that whole goddam flood is stuck back behind the High Dam. I mention the dams not only because if they blow, a whole lot of people die, but also because they’re the only two ways across the river that don’t
involve boats. So if you had a big infantry force bent on killing a shitload of people like, say, me, the dams are pretty much where it’s going to be an issue.

We knew that when we got here. It also became pretty clear that the Egyptian army really wanted to get across the dam—what with their helicopters and tanks and guns and bombs and their whole fucking
army
, we weren’t going to be able to stop them.

Funny thing happened, though.

The cavalry arrived.

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