Get In Her Mind, Get In Her Bed (11 page)

Tell her a likely event involving the two of you that could happen in the next three to six months. What this does is it gets the target to visualize a relationship with you. The more and more she sees herself with you, the more open and comfortable she feels being around you. The target starts to feel as though she actually has known you for six months, and she is comfortable with the acts of intimacy that normal couples are experienced with after six months of dating. It is best to tell stories with a great amount of detail. The more detail you provide the easier it will be for her to see the story in her head. The better the picture, the better chance you will have of her believing your story. We also want to include stories of the two of you becoming successful and wealthy. It does not matter what your current situation is. Even if you have $5 to your name and the only car you drive is the city bus, it is not relevant. Women judge you on your potential. If you make her believe that one day you will own your own business, and be worth millions, all with her by your side. She will see you as a great investment, and a man of quality.

Now herein lies the danger. A story that is to far fetched, or telling too many stories, can turn the girl off and looking for a quick exit. We can’t start talking about marriage and kids after knowing her for a few hours. We want to tell fun and exciting stories.

Story telling is just another tool in our arsenal. An important thing to note here, is that role playing is not story telling. In a role play you make up a fantasy land for the two of you to get lost in. The more creative, the better the role play and the more sexual chemistry you build. When story telling, you tell true stories about yourself as a way to get to know each other.

Q&A

Question and answer is the worst kind of conversation you can have with the target. We see a lot of Q&A when we go out. There is nothing wrong with Q&A, but it’s boring as hell. It’s the same thing every other guy does. “What’s your name, where are you from, what do you do, what school do you go to?” The problem with Q&A is that it feels scripted, and it comes off that way. A lot of times you get caught up in the questions you are asking and busy thinking about what you’re going ask next, that you aren’t listening to what she is saying. Plus if you ask too many questions it sounds a lot like a job interview and she will get bored with you and lose interest. We like to ask only one question, maybe two, just to get the ball rolling and give us something to play off of and go into story telling or role play. We basically use it just to get started or if we are transitioning from one story to the next. If you do find yourself asking a lot of questions, pay attention. Tilt your head to one side to show interest. Q&A should only be used as a backup for when you run out of things to say, not an opener.

Negs

Negative comments are very powerful, if used correctly. They are comments directed at a target that appear nice enough on the surface, but mean spirited in their meaning. For example, tell a girl she reminds you of your baby sister. We have all heard the saying before, “You’re like a brother to me.” We all know how much that line sucks to hear. Turn the tables on her instead. Telling the target she reminds us of our baby sister is essentially telling her that she is immature, we are not attracted to her, and she is a pain in our ass. She does not have any value. I know we said earlier that you can use the sister line as a role play. You can, it all depends on how you come across when you say it. If you come across in a fun, joking matter, you are role playing. If you come across saying she reminds you of a sister, therefore you are not attracted to her, it is a neg.

Negs take girls out of their element. Women are so use to guys kissing their ass all night long that when they don’t hear a flattering comment about them, they are taken aback. It takes them off that pedestal that the other guys have placed them on and snaps them back to reality. Now you hold the power, she will want to prove herself to you, rather than the other way around. You are calling the shots. She will do everything she can to gain the upper hand, but now it is too late, you have already positioned yourself as her equal and you have effectively broken down her barriers. You are no longer another random guy, you are someone of interest.

A favorite neg of ours is to tell the target is, “You are a really attractive girl, you're just not really the type of girl I date.” The reaction you will get is incredible. She will take it as a challenge. Here is a girl who has been receiving compliments all night long by every guy in the bar, and you are the asshole that tells her she's not your type! Instantly you have separated yourself from every other guy. The only way she can redeem herself is for you to find her attractive. By the time she has done so, you have already established sexual chemistry with her, broken down her barrier, and are well on your way to closing.

The bad thing with using negs is that if you use them incorrectly, you are just a prick. In the pick up community, negs are used just as described above. You make a woman insecure about something, and then she does whatever it takes to change your mind. The problem is, for the most part negs only work on really insecure women. So you are basically tearing down an already insecure person and making them feel worse about themselves. Granted, they will react in a way to make you change your mind and this does work, but do you really want to be that guy that gets women into bed by making them feel bad about themselves. You can get them into bed many other ways without tearing them down.

Our Approach

We have said a few times that the conversation must be fluid. That just means that a conversation can't be scripted. You can't plan what you’re going to say and then anticipate what your target will say. The conversation is fluid. A lot of what you say is determined by what she says. There is no stage of the conversation that you have to stay in for a certain amount of time before you move onto the next. The best way to approach a girl is to do it with the intent of having a genuine interaction. You can't go up to a girl and think in your head, "I'm going to ask her a question then tell her a story, and then I’m going to jump into a role play." That’s just not how it works.

I will approach a woman and introduce myself. From there I play off what she does. If she sits there all quiet like, I might ask a question to get things going. Her answer should allow me to move into a free flowing conversation without having to ask anymore direct questions. If she says something funny to me from the start, I might bust on her and go from there. In almost every case no matter what a girl says to me it almost always evokes some life experience that I have had that I can relate to her. Relating to her means I am building sexual chemistry. It's hard to say exactly what I would do because every conversation is different and new. However, one thing that always remains the same is that at some point in the interaction I will use each of the techniques discussed in this chapter.

ABCs of Closing

“Always be closing” is a term used in sales that basically means, seal the deal. This is the attitude you must adopt to be successful with women. Too often you will see a guy do everything right. He reads the target’s signals, then makes his move and introduces himself. He builds sexual chemistry throughout the night through body language, banter, and playful flirting. He has done everything right. His target is eating out of his hand, but when the lights come on and its time to go home, he goes home empty handed, without the girl, without a kiss goodbye, without a phone number to call the girl for a date.

After learning the techniques, beginners are surprised at how easy it becomes to talk to and build sexual attraction with women. They get so caught up in the moment they forget the most important part. They forget to seal the deal. This is a common mistake many beginners make. The ability to close on a consistent basis is what separates a beginner from a true master of pick up.

There is the guy who again does everything right. He knows that the target is his. He sees the signals and she’s wanting more, but he freezes. He is locked in fear. Fear of rejection, fear she doesn’t feel the same way, fear that she will laugh in his face, fear of being a bad kisser or bad in bed. This fear over takes him and he never makes the move, he doesn’t get the girl. These are extreme situations but they happen everyday.

Closing has a different meaning for every individual. It is a way to evaluate your game and is a baseline from which to gage your success. There are four distinct types of closing you can have with the target. You can close with a phone number, a kiss, sex, or a long term relationship. Which one you use to gage your success is entirely up to you. Some guys want to build a little black book full of hundreds of numbers and are content with nothing more than a phone number. Other guys enjoy making out with as many girls as they can. Some gage their success on sexual conquests or notches on their bedpost and just want to sleep with anything that moves. The last of the type just want to use the teachings of this book to find a meaningful and long term relationship. Your personal goal, will dictate the type of closing you pursue, or it could be a combination of all four and you are down for whatever happens on a particular night.

Closing With a Number

I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting to buy a soda when this cute brunette with an amazing body gets in line behind me. She was wearing low cut jeans with a white midriff shirt revealing her belly button ring. She was just standing there teasing me, I wanted to see more. I was already running late so I didn’t have time to stop and run a routine on this girl, but there was no way I was going to pass up this opportunity. I turned to her and said, “This may seem out of place, but you’re really cute!” She looked at me in amazement as if she could not believe what I had just said. She blushed and looked down as if she didn’t know what to say. I said, “You are a really cute girl, I would love to take you out sometime. Can I get your phone number?” She wrote her number down and we talked for another couple of minutes while I paid for my soda. I ended up calling her the next day and met her for coffee that afternoon.

Closing with a phone number is nothing more than getting the target’s number. Most guys make the mistake and think that this must wait until the very end of the night or conversation. Why wait? You can’t predict what may or may not happen. One moment you can be enjoying a drink with the target and before you know it, one of her girlfriends has an emergency and she is gone before you can react. Getting a phone number is easy. All you need to do is ask. Getting the target’s phone number early in the night is beneficial in more ways then one. If you are bad with names, or couldn’t remember her name, she will write it down when she gives you her number. If you don’t have a piece of paper and a pen, give her your cell phone to type it in, that way you can find out her name without having to admit you never knew it.

The best way to get a number is to directly ask for it. You can say something like, "I’m having a good time talking to you, can I get you number." Or say, "I should get back to my friends let me get your number so I can call you." Some people don’t like to be so direct. Here is a little trick you can use. Once you have been talking to a woman for a bit, you have built attraction and sexual chemistry, say to her, "I’m having a good time with you, we should do it again." Or, "You’re really fun, we should go out this week." In most cases she will say, "Yeah that would be good," and offer you her phone number. You don’t directly ask for her number, but it is the next logical step for her to give it to you, and she will.

Another thing you can do is to ask the target if she has an email address. While not as personal, it has rapidly become common for all correspondence to take occur online. Since email address is considered less personal than a phone number, if the target is resistant to giving her phone number ask for her email instead. She will oblige and what you have done is plant the seed for her to say yes to your requests. While she is writing down her email, tell her, “Okay now write your phone number below!” This is the old bait and switch routine.

Giving your phone number to the target is not closing. Giving your phone number without getting hers in return is giving her all the power in the relationship. You are the one waiting by the phone, you will be the one wondering when she will call. This is not how an Alpha Male acts. Never leave anything to uncertainty. If she won’t give you her number, get up and walk away. There is nothing more to be gained from the target. Tell the target, “It was nice meeting you.” Get up and move on to the next available girl. One of two things will happen: Either she will call you back over, not wanting you to leave, and give you her number; Or she will let you go, saving yourself the time spent on talking to a girl that will not lead you anywhere. More often than not, if you are willing to show her you will walk away, she will cave into your demands. This is because you have just demonstrated your value, your dominance, that you do not have time to play games, and if she is not careful she could lose you. You may find girls that call your bluff every once in a while, but the important thing is you didn't waste any more time on her. You moved on to another target, perhaps one that will give you her number, or even better, a woman who is planning on taking you home tonight.

There is a way to stay out of this situation completely. When she asks for your phone number, give it to her. When she finishes inputting it into her phone tell her, "Now call me to so I can have yours." You can also say, "Now call me to make sure you put in right." The second is a little less threatening. You will now have her number and you really didn't even have to ask for it.