Get In Her Mind, Get In Her Bed (12 page)

Closing With a Kiss

I was at the bar talking to a girl I had just met. I was using the girlfriend role play on her and she was just eating it up. She was getting ready to stand up to excuse herself for a moment when I told her, “What’s this love? No kiss goodbye?” And I pointed to my cheek. She gave me a peck on the cheek and I said to her, “After six months of dating that’s all I get?” She laughed and leaned into me giving me the kiss that I wanted. Needless to say she was back at my side before I was able to finish the rest of my drink.

The second type of closing is the kiss close. This is simply kissing the target sometime during the night. Kiss closing usually involves a deeper connection with the target than what you would need to get her phone number. You have built up a high level of sexual attraction, developed good rapport, and have moved things to the next level. A kiss can be innocent, intimate, or passionate depending on the level of sexual chemistry you have built. Depending on your goals, a kiss close can either be the end state, or even better the beginning of a sex close.

Unknown to most, a kiss close is almost easier than a number close. A kiss is innocent and welcome, as long as you don’t try and force your tongue down her throat. Just be direct, tell her in a soft voice, “I want to kiss you right now.” If she hesitates move your face in front of hers for the kiss. Pause a few inches from her face. Take one last look at her. If her eyes are closed, her lips are parted, or her eyes are flickering back and forth, you have her approval. If she moves her head backwards call the kiss off. It is better to ask for forgiveness than ask for approval. As you move your face in slowly for the kiss, you build up anticipation in the target’s mind. The more anticipation you build up, the stronger the kiss. A quick kiss can come as a surprise, but a slow, deliberate kiss can seal the deal.

Let’s say you are nearing the end of a date. You know that you have built sexual chemistry and are pretty sure the girl is into you. You really want to kiss the girl but you have no idea how you are going to do it. You are thinking about it the whole ride home and you finally have an image in your head of how it’s going to go. You are going to walk her to the door and as you tell her goodnight she is going to pause and allow you to move in. As you are walking to the door you are all ready to go for it, only she doesn’t pause and you are left on the doorstep without your kiss. This is bad because if she was ready for a kiss and you didn't make a move, you likely won’t get another chance. There very rarely is a perfect or magic moment. It doesn’t work like in the movies. However, it is very easy to create a moment that resembles this. When you’re walking to the door grab her by the hand. Look her in the eyes and pull her, by the hand, toward you. Then kiss her. It’s so easy. You can do that anywhere. Take her by the hand, look in her eyes, and slowly move in for a kiss. You just created the moment.

A kiss close is dependent on your own personal preferences. I only kiss close if I plan on having sex with the girl that night, otherwise I am content with a number close and setting up a date later that week. You can build just as much sexual chemistry without the kiss and it helps build the attraction for the upcoming date. A kiss close is again all about timing. Like getting the phone number, there is no reason to wait till the end or the perfect moment. If a kiss is all you are after, then let the anticipation build up, teasing her until you create the moment. If you are just going through the steps to get her into bed, try to kiss her within in the first fifteen minutes. That first fifteen minutes is important. It sets the tone for the rest of the night.

Closing in Her Bed

I was dancing with a girl at a bar that I had met that night. It was nearing the end of the night and to that point we had good conversation, built sexual chemistry, and created attraction. At some point in the night she had told me she didn't kiss random guys from the bar and while we were dancing she reminded me of that. As we continued to dance, I positioned my face so that I was lightly breathing on her neck near her ear. When I talked to her I moved my mouth close, almost touching hers, so she would feel my breath on her lips as I spoke the words. I could tell it was really turning her on and at one point she even tried to kiss me. I pulled away and reminded her, "You don’t kiss random guys at the bar." Then I went right back to talking to her with my mouth close to hers. Essentially what I was doing was creating this enormous sexual tension and chemistry. She left with us and once we were in the car she couldn't keep her hands off me. We made out the entire car ride home, and as we got to our house I led her to my room.

The third type of closing is the sex close, sleeping with the target. A sex close can be a one night stand from a girl you just met at the bar, or a girl you have went out with a few times. The sex close is getting the target in bed for a wild romp between the sheets. How does one move from a kiss close to a sex close? It all starts with physical contact. The quicker we are able to break the target’s touch barrier, the faster we can move in for the kiss. Once we combine the physical kissing with the sexual chemistry we have built up, the panties will be coming off in no time. If we can introduce ourselves, break the touch barrier, and the intimate zone, all within fifteen minutes of meeting her, she will have sex with you that night. It is not because she is easy. It is because we were able to develop a deep connection within that time. Over the rest of the night, that connection will only deepen, and she will feel as though she has known you forever. It’s all about making a woman feel comfortable with you on an intimate level. Really it’s the same feelings she would develop for you if you were to date for a while, only you are speeding up the process.

A sex close moves in a back and forth linear pattern. After opening the target, we break the touch barrier and make physical contact, either deliberately, through a routine, or initiated by the target. We quickly expand on that contact and move into her intimate zone and steal a kiss. Tell her any of these lines, “I want to kiss you right now” “I am trying so hard not to kiss you right now,” “You want to kiss me don’t you?” Each one gets her thinking about kissing you, and if she is thinking it, she will be acting on it. Once you start kissing, you continue to press further and further until you are back at your place. This will proceed in a back and forth motion. You start kissing her neck, try taking off her shit. She stops you there, you go back to kissing. After two or three minutes, you get her shirt off, but she won’t let you take off her bra. You start rubbing her breasts, increasing her arousal and after a few minutes, take off her bra. This continues in a back and forth until all clothes are off. You are always moving forward, constantly advancing, and all the while increasing her arousal.

This is why those first fifteen minutes is so important. You have programmed her to respond quickly to you. Everything moves at a fast pace. She will be caught up in the moment, the excitement. It is new and exciting to her. The fact that someone can make her act and feel this way, most women will feel empowered and let this moment happen. It’s quick, it’s spontaneous, and it’s a story to make her friends jealous. She will like you because you are taking charge. You are the Alpha Male. She is succumbing to your dominance and her natural born instincts to be dominated by the Alpha Male. It has been hardwired into her physiology over the last three thousand years, to submit to you and her desires.

The fifteen minutes is just a guideline. The point is that you want to make a woman feel comfortable with you, in an intimate way, within a short time. Just because you were unable to get a kiss in that time, does not mean she won’t sleep with you. But, if sex is your primary goal, then you also do not want to waste your time with women that are not going to go home with you.

Closing Into a Relationship

No matter how hard I tried, there was always one girl that would enter my mind before the others. I would catch myself dialing her number or making plans with her for the rest of the week. I barely even noticed the other girls when I went out anymore. I was in trouble, I was smitten, I was in a relationship.

The final type of closing is the relationship close. While it is great to have casual sex, or go out with a different girl every night of the week, you are just not able to develop the same kind of connection as you would with a steady girlfriend. Ultimately, dating is nothing more than being able to find out the qualities you prefer in a woman prior to settling down. Everything from looks, to personality, to personal goals, and family values. Dating is a selection process where we find out these traits through first hand experience. What you may think you are attracted to, turns out to be a major problem once you are around it on a constant basis. Dating is important. Consider it a science experiment with you as a test subject. The only way to truly know the qualities we find attractive in a mate, is find out ourselves through trial and error.

Starting a relationship is easy, just keep your expectations open and honest. There is no reason to lie or make up stories to the different girls you are dating. You can be involved with one, two, ten girls. As long as you are honest with each one there will be no problems. If a girl demands you be exclusive to her, then you must make that choice, but that right there should be a sign of things to come. If she wants to control you now, she will be controlling in the relationship. The best part of telling the girls you date that you see other girls, is the level of competition it brings out in them. They want to be the only one for you, and they will do everything in their power to make you see that.

When you finally do decide to be exclusive with one girl, talk to her about it. Just because you have dropped contact with all the other girls does not mean she has done the same with the other guys. Most guys will assume that if she spends all her time with you that the feelings are shared, and are shocked to find out she has been seeing someone else on the side. If you want her, let her know. Tell her, “I’ve really enjoyed dating you these last couple of weeks. I want to put it out in the open that I want to date you exclusively and want you to do the same.” If she says no, then keep showing her the qualities that we have taught you, and she will realize no other guy out there compares to you. Continue to date other girls, to keep your game sharp if things don’t work out. If it is meant to happen it will work itself out. Whatever you do, if she does not feel the same towards you, do not develop “oneitis” for this girl. Oneitis is where you stop going out, and stop dating other girls while you wait for the one to come around to you. This will only show you as needy and lacking the qualities of the Alpha Male. It will drive her further away from you. Dating is a game, you must be willing to play and fight dirty if you want to come out on top.

Of the four types of closings, the phone number is the most important. It is the only sure fire way of being able to get a hold of the target at a later date. If you want to setup a future date, you must be able to get a hold of her somehow. Going to her place of work to pick her up each date or running into her at the bar on a consistent basis is not going to cut it. While it can be mysterious the first or second time, it tells the target that you have something to hide and throws up a red flag.

To some extent closing can be a linear process, but not necessarily all four stages one after another. If your goal is to have a relationship, then you would start off by getting her number. Get a kiss on the next date and then after a few more dates you decide to have an exclusive relationship. You did A and B to get to D. Sex is not a determining factor if you have a relationship or not. If your main goal was to have sex with the girl and nothing more, such as a one night stand, you can skip the phone number altogether and start off with a kiss. The kiss will lead to more and eventually back to the bedroom where you can sex close. In this case we only went through step B to get to C. You cannot move directly to a sex close without a kiss or a relationship close without having to get a phone number.

If you don’t plan on finishing, you never should have started in the first place, so always be closing.

Rejection

The other night a buddy and I went to eat at a local hot spot. Our waitress was pretty good looking and she was really chatting it up with us. We were flirting back and forth with each other and my buddy thought I should ask her out. As the night went on she was spending more and more time at our table. One thing to keep in mind in a situation like this, is that it is her job to be nice to the customers to get bigger tips. I was confident this was not the case. She was spending way too much time at our table, thus ignoring her other customers. I could tell that she was interested in me. At one point she even sat down beside me and we rated how good looking the girls at the table beside us were. All the while we continued flirting with each other for the better part of an hour. After a while, I said to her, "Jenny, I think you’re really cool, can I call you sometime." She replied with those dreaded words, "Well maybe, if I wasn't practically engaged. My boyfriend actually lives with me." We were there for about another fifteen minutes and the flirting continued, but I was going home alone.

I had been rejected. Yes, even we get rejected sometimes. Everyone gets rejected. The thing with rejection is, that guys are so afraid of getting rejected that they don't try in the first place. Your fear of rejection is keeping you from trying, thus keeping you from succeeding. Just because she says "No" doesn't mean she is saying no to you. Think about what that means. In the story above, I knew the waitress was interested in me. Did she have a boyfriend? She very well could have. Even if she didn't she could have been saying no to a million other things beside me. She could have just got out of a bad relationship, maybe her boss was right around the corner and they aren’t supposed to date guys from the restaurant. She could have been having a bad day or a bad week, and although I just made her night by flirting with her and asking her out, she said no for some internal reason. What I’m getting at is that women say no for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with you.