Ghost Guard (20 page)

“HOW MANY HAS it been so far today, Ruby?” Rev asked. Ruby issued a bored yawn and, through a series of clicks, chirps and squeaks, said she’d lost count. Then she huffed and turned up the volume on the TV.
El Dorado
was on. Her favorite movie. Any movie with John Wayne was her favorite.

“She really thinks she can replace me?” Rev sulked.
“Good luck, Sis—” he cut himself short when a spectral apparition drifted through Abby’s office door. Wide-eyed and lethargic, the ghost let his vacant stare drift to Rev, then Ruby, floating in the waiting room like an underinflated balloon. The place was a who’s-who in haunted lore. A woman with her wrists slashed. A man who’d obviously been shot, a hole the size of the grand canyon out the back of his skull. A trio of teenagers who looked like they’d had a little too much to drink and tried to drive, now mangled and twisted, but still hooting and hollering. Among them sauntered the half-conscious first ghost, Abby’s most recent interviewee.

As the lazy spirit drifted up and, finally, began to disappear, the office door opened.

“Thank you so much for coming today, Mister Ridgeway,” Abby forced a smile. “We’ll get ahold of you to let you know what our decision will be. Thanks again for your interest. Take care,” she sighed and let her skeptical gaze travel to those seated. “Who’s next?”

The man with his cranium blown away stood and started for the office. Rev had to intervene.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” he stood in front of the dead man. “Hold on, chief. I’ve got just a little business with this woman.”

“But—” Abby tried to protest. Rev pushed her into the office before she could get
out another word.

“Just listen to me,” he closed the door behind him.
“Abby, sit.”

She didn’t move except to cross her arms.

“Abby, look at all of those stiffs out there. Do you honestly believe you’ll ever find a ghost with even half the abilities I had?”

“I can and I will,” she leaned her weight on a different heel.

“Not with this bunch of sad sacks, you won’t,” he crossed behind her. Abby hated when he did that as a ghost, and, for some reason, it made her even more uncomfortable as a living person.

“Would you stop it
!” she demanded. “You being alive now…it gives me the creeps.”

“Why, Abby?
Why would it do that?” Rev forced her to look deep into his eyes. She did for a second, then turned away quickly.

“It just does.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. When I was a ghost—
that
should have bothered you. I mean, ghosts bother most people, Abby. That’s the way it’s supposed to work.”

“I’m not most people,” she sat in her chair, wishing he’d just go away.

“At least you have that one right,” he lunged at her desk. “Go out with me.”

“What?” she
smirked. “I thought you were in love with Elyxa.”

“Abby, you know that was just
temporary. She made me
feel
like I was in love with her. That’s all.”

“And now you don’t?”

“Of course not.”

“Oh, so you
were just faking it, then? Nice.”

“Abby, stop teasing.
Just go out with me.”

“No!”

“Why?”

She exhaled sharply through her nose and clenched her jaw.

“Abby, you’ve got to loosen up or you’ll explode. Look at you. You’re overworked and underplayed. That’s not how a doll as young and as beautiful and,” he looked at her legs sideways. “And as sexy—”

“Get out!”

Rev flinched to an upright position and smiled cheerily.

“What’s wrong with a little…you know?”

“This is a professional team, and we have a serious mission,” Abby kept her teeth clenched. “We don’t have time, nor is it prudent for any of us to be consorting sexually…it’s in the handbook, you should read it.”

“Can you listen to yourself?” he mocked with a falsetto voice. “
It’s not prudent…consorting sexually…it’s in the handbook!
Are you serious, Abby? Really, it sounds like you need a date more than I do. You’re one sexually frustrated woman.”

“GET OUT!” Rev dodged a six inch pump, dropping just in time before the shoe hit the door right at the same height as his nose.

“Hey!” he stood. “You tried to kill me!”

He only had time to duck out of the way again.

BIFF!

Another shoe, another dent in the door.
Rev was surprised at the severity of the gouge. He looked at Abby and found her searching her desk for more things to throw. Before she could get her hands on a glass paperweight, he scurried out and slammed the door behind him. Just as he got it closed, he flinched at another crash against the wood.

“That could’ve hurt,” he said to Ruby, still in her favorite spot—in front of the TV. She smiled at him and gestured at the screen. The Duke was, as usual, in a shootout, and it made Ruby squeal with delight. Rev smiled back at her, but inside he just wanted to be in that office with Abby.

“
I DON’T KNOW what to do,” Rev tossed the basketball high, but not high enough. Brutus still found a way to block the shot, snatching the ball in his hands and grinning slightly. That was the most emotion anyone was going to get from Brutus. “She won’t even talk to me now. And I get the feeling if I try to say anything to her, she’s just gonna explode and start throwing things again.”

Brutus
banished his grin and got on offense. He spun around the flatfooted Rev and rolled like a thundercloud toward the hoop. A big bounce and he was airborne, slamming the ball hard, shaking the entire backboard.

“What should I do, buddy?” Rev got the ball back and dribbled twice awkwardly. His physical body felt strange still, and he was having a hard time doing anything right. “Should I just leave her alone, wait for her to come around?”

Brutus stole the ball on the third bounce, twirled like a tornado, and dunked it again. Rev kept talking.

“But if I do that, there’s a huge risk she won’t ever come to me. Or, worse, she might fall for that Riley creep. What do you think?”

Brutus spun the basketball on a dark, smoky finger, then flicked it hard at Rev.

“Whoa,” Rev ducked and threw up his hands to catch it. “Whaddya
tryin’ to do, take my head off?” he stood and thought about it a second. “You know what? You’re right. I
am
losing my head over this girl, aren’t I? I mean, why do I let her get me so worked up?” he faked right then dribbled left, angled toward the hoop, and jumped off one foot. Finally, he got a shot past Brutus.
Swish
. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to being alive again, my man,” he caught the ball and handed it to Brutus, who remained in his usual form—a torrent of dark smoke and dust.

“Don’t you hear me?” Rev tried to get
a reaction. “I said I don’t like not being a ghost anymore.”

“Are you crazy?” Brutus uttered. It sounded like large blocks of pumice grinding together.
Heavy yet hollow. Coarse and gritty. That was Brutus’s voice. “You get another chance,” he formed a human shape with a haze of elements. He didn’t like looking human, since he wasn’t one anymore. Not technically. “I wish I had another chance. Just one more.”

“Why’s that?” Rev asked.

Brutus stayed silent.

“What do you want another chance at?” Rev couldn’t help asking. Brutus kept the details of his past guarded. Nobody knew where he came from, or what made him so broodingly dark all the time. “Is that why you’re here? I mean, is that why you haven’t crossed over? Because you did something wrong? You made a mistake, and now you want to rectify it?”

Brutus dissipated in a puff of dust and became a shadowy shape above the basketball court. Then the black mist twisted into nothingness.

“Okay,” Rev said aloud, in case the
gigantic ghost was still somewhere hovering nearby. “It really spooks me now that I can’t see if you’re here or not, big fella,” he scanned the court, but found nothing. “God, I’m never going to get used to this.”

He picked up the ball and took another shot from the free-throw line. Front rim and a miss. He ran for the rebound and tossed it right back up for another miss, this one even worse. He grabbed the ball and chucked it at the rim and screamed, “Why does she make me so crazy!”

“
WHY DOES HE make me so crazy!” Abby slammed the door to Morris’s office. Ruby rushed in a wisp of mist behind her, startling Morris so bad his hands began to shake and his teeth started chattering. Busted. His secret project was strewn out before him, and he had no choice but to haul it all toward his chest and hide it the best he could.

“Morris?” Abby didn’t notice a thing. “Did you hear what I said? I said Rev is driving me insane!”

“He’s been through an immense adjustment, Abby,” he tried to act normal. “You must take that into consideration. This is an unprecedented event for us, and for him. I mean, he’s been reincarnated and reconstituted. For lack of a scientific term, it’s a miracle.”

“He’s no miracle,” Abby waved away the very idea. “He’s a useless, egotistical, chauvinist jerk. At least when he was dead, he was a use
-
ful
, egotistical, chauvinist
ghost
.”

Ruby squeaked her disapproval at Abby’s disapproval. She reminded Abby about all the times they’d depended on Rev, and now it was time to return the favor. Besides, it was bad luck to talk that way about someone behind his back.

“I think you’re confusing Karma with luck, Ruby,” Abby pointed out.

Ruby scrunched her face at that, then unfurled herself to squeak and click that Karma was real also, and Abby had better watch it.

“She’s right,” Morris said to Abby’s rolling eyes and exaggerated sigh. “Rev has been there for us, through thick and thin. We’re a family. We take care of each other. Abby, we all have to help him ease into this new phase.”

“It’s too late,” Abby said.
“I got a message from Mahoney today. The wheels are in motion, and the team’s gonna be disbanded if we don’t find a replacement for Rev.”

“We’re never going to find a replacement and you know it,” Morris
understood he was being rather abrupt, but it couldn’t be helped. It was the truth. Abby needed to hear it. “Why can’t you recognize that? We need Rev. Alive or a ghost, we still need him.”

“To do what?”
Abby countered. “To drive? That’s a laugh. He killed himself driving. He’ll kill us too. And without his supernatural talents, what does he have? His looks?” she chortled. “Ha! That’ll get him far.”

“Stop it, Abby,” Morris
forgot about concealing his project for a moment, then realized his mistake and leaned in an awkward way, covering the evidence. “You have feelings for him, and those feelings are clouding your judgment right now.”

“What?” she snapped her attention his
way. “What the hell are you talking about? How dare you? I told you I don’t feel a damn thing for him…except professionally.”

“Sure,” Morris laughed along with Ruby
. The erudite and impish ghost bounced in a playful round of acrobatic hysterics.

“What are you two laughing
at!” Abby demanded. “I mean it. There’s no spark, no flame, no torch, nothing between us,” she glared at both of them. Morris tried his best to keep a straight face. Ruby didn’t care. She kept laughing and twirling.

“I’m serious!” Abby stomped one foot, then spun on her heel and marched to her office, where a gaggle of gimpy, wimpy, and otherwise ineffectual
ghosts waited to be interviewed.

Surrounded by one stiff after the next, she stopped at the first her sights came to and studied him for a brief moment.
A heavyset, elderly man stricken with gloom. The guy sat holding his chest, in a listless funk, leaning from one side to the other, eyes glazed onto some faraway place. Abby knew that man didn’t belong.

“Is this the best I can get?” she muttered, then cleared her throat. “I need a break.”

Ruby trailed Abby out the door. Morris breathed a giant sigh of relief and stood straight, massaging the cramps in his side from sitting at such an odd angle. Thank goodness neither of them saw what he had, quite literally, up his sleeves. If they had, he never would have heard the end of it.

SIX
TEEN

“HEY! HOLD ON!” SHOUTED Daniel Hunnicutt, M.D., F.A.C.S. He’d just gotten the door unlocked when a tall, burly man shoved him into his medical office. “What do you want!”

T
he towering man stepped into the waiting room. Behind him, wrapped head to toe in a silken shawl, was a woman who introduced herself as Elyxa. The other one said his name was Aros.

“We
need you, Doctor Hunnicutt,” announced Aros.

“
But…why?” he pleaded with them both. From the man, he received a cold stare in return. From the woman, his own reflection in her dark lenses. Then she handed him a business card.

“I’ve been told you
’re the best,” the card was simple, elegant. Hunnicutt recognized the understated boldness. It was one of his.

“Where’d you get this?”

“Never mind that,” she sat in the nearest chair. “Is that you? Are you the witchdoctor that can supposedly restore youth and beauty?”

“Witchdoctor?”
Hunnicutt stared at Aros, then again at Elyxa. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m not a witchdoctor. I’m a surgeon.”

“That’s right, plastic surgery,”
Elyxa repeated what the mortal woman named Gloria had told her. “That’s what I need.”

“
Cosmetic
surgery,” he emphasized. “If you need my services, then I suggest you do as the rest of the public does—make an appointment,” Hunnicutt’s gall increased with every word. “You know this really is highly unusual. I have a good mind to call the…”

Aros
snatched the smartphone from Hunnicutt’s hand.

“Hey!” was the doctor’s first reaction. That phone had his life in it.
All his appointments. His photos. His contacts. Then reality kicked in. Until that moment, he’d thought he was in the presence of people. They might have been strange or a little offbeat, but people nonetheless. Then that colossal monster named Aros reduced his iPhone to a crumpled lump of cadmium and he recognized no one, no regular human being could have done that.

Aros
scowled at the pathetic little mortal. Then he felt Elyxa’s psychic squeeze and spoke for her, knowing she was still tired from the ordeal.

“Just do your magic,” he nodded
. Hunnicutt snapped out of his state of shock enough to agree, leading them both to operating room A, a suite overlooking Goose Hollow with an extensive view of the Vista Bridge. Aros held Elyxa by her shoulders and they followed quickly behind the doctor.

“Sit her down here,” Hunnicutt gestured toward the surgical table.
Elyxa didn’t like to take orders, especially from witchdoctors. But she wasn’t in any mood to argue, and did as told, keeping herself shrouded completely with the now bloodstained wrap.

“I’m telling you, this is highly irregular,”
the doctor fiddled with his instruments, making sure the monitors were all on and the implements all ready. “I’ve-I’ve never done anything like this before…never worked without assistants. They usually do this stuff for me,” he fumbled with a tray of scalpels. “I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve had to administer anesthesia.”

“You won’t need
it,” Elyxa announced. “I don’t feel pain. I just want you to restore my beauty quickly. Can you do that, Doctor?”

Hunnicutt stopped breathing. He’d been known to perform miracles, and had many satisfied clients. However, he hated making promise
s he couldn’t keep.

“Before I can give any guarantees, I need to know what I’m working with,” he declared, and
Elyxa dropped her shoulders at the proposition. She knew, though, it was inevitable. Someone had to see her like this. So she lifted the veil. She might as well have drained the blood from Hunnicutt’s veins. That’s what he felt like when he saw this woman. Bloody. Scarred. Malformed.

He held his cheeks, stepped back, and inhaled
abruptly.

“What the…what the hell happened to you?” was all he could say, and he kept repeating it throughout the entire examination. Pockmarks speckl
ed her epidermis. Entry and exit wounds of all sizes. Her torso had sustained the worst damage, and when he saw the injuries knew she should’ve bled out long ago.

“We’ve got to get this woman to the emergency room! She’s going to die!”

“Does it look that bad?” Elyxa hid herself with the shawl again.

“Bad? It
’s horrific!” Hunnicut asserted. “Lady, you need emergency treatment, now!”

“
I knew it!” Elyxa despaired. “I’m hideous! With scars this deep, even with all my powers of regeneration, it’ll take weeks before I’m beautiful again!”

“Nonsense!”
Aros intervened. “Elyxa, that’s nonsense! Your wounds have already healed enormously in only a few hours. And you are correct. You
will
heal completely—in time. You just need Doctor Hunnicut to help you to heal faster. You said the mortal woman swore by him.”

“You think I look better already?” she glanced in the mirror,
then turned away quickly.

“Yes,” said
Aros. “Now let the witchdoctor work his magic.”

“I told you I’m not a witchdoctor
,” Hunnicut swallowed his fear, finding a modicum of bravado in his professional standing in the community. “And I’m not a trauma specialist, either. I do facelifts, tummy tucks, Botox injections. That sort of thing. You need…” he winced at her deep lacerations. “You need
real
help.”

“I need YOU!”
Elyxa reached for him, and, without touching him physically, took hold of his soul, toying with his existence. This thing, Elyxa, was definitely not a woman, though all outward appearances were eternally feminine. Her immense mystical power was surpassed only by her beauty. A rare orchid indeed. Suddenly he wished nothing more than to help this child of the universe, so ancient, yet still so young at heart. But facts were facts. Her injuries seemed far beyond anything he, with his tools of the body augmentation trade, could do.

“
Elyxa,” he looked her in the eyes, speaking sincerely. “I want to help you. I really do. But you’re hurt too bad for me to do anything. Now let me call 91—”

“Doctor, will this help convince you?”
Elyxa tilted her head and Hunnicutt saw a large gap in her skull, an exit wound from a high caliber firearm. He couldn’t believe she could survive this terrible wound alone, not to mention the dozens of others scattered about her upper body. At first he wondered why she’d shown him the hideous injury. It only confirmed his opinion that they should run, not walk, to the nearest trauma center. Then a curious sound caught his attention. Crackling and crinkling. The shattered bone on each side of the cranium began to fuse together, mending the gaping hole with thick calcified matter. Then the flesh, quivering with life, stretched and united in a mass of scar tissue.

“
As Aros said, I have the ability to heal myself. But, with these wounds, it would take far too long for my liking,” she sighed. “Can you help me?”

“You know what?” he
saw that the scarring could use laser treatment, and he’d be able to help with the redness and inflammation. “I do believe I can.”